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$VER: Chip'O'Matic 4.0 (1.8.94)

Chip'O'Matic #4
Chip'O'Matic #4, © Doodles^Shock 1994
Chip'O'Matic Issue #4

Chip'o'matic requires Kickstart v2.04+ (V37) to run.
Consider to update your operating system!! NOW!

Chip'O'Matic Interrupt
Chip'O'Matic SoftInt

CHIP'O'MATIC NR.4      D-ZIRE/SB & R-CADE/TDS 270722210163:37
BIOHAZARD              THE SILENCER/TDS       344881914102:26
INTROSONG1             MIKE/DEADLINE DESIGN   1567419138 1:34
BUZZAROUND             MIKE/DEADLINE DESIGN   13972118 7 0:56
SMOKE CLOUD            HI-Q/CYBERTECH CORP    8112 106 5 1:16

		  SMOKE CLOUD        
  MODULE INFORMATION 	TITLE.....: .......................
  ------------------ 	AUTHOR....: .......................
     CHIP'O'MATIC    	SIZE......: ..... BYTES
      PRODUCTION     	SAMPLES...: ..
  ------------------ 	POSITIONS.: ..

		  C H I P ' O ' M A T I C  
		       I S S U E # 4       
		 [ RELEASE DATE : 940801 ] 

	   ....................MIKE, SPIROU, HI-Q
	        COPYRIGHT 1994 DOODLES^SHOCK     

	  --------[ HELP / INSTRUCTIONS: ]--------
	   LEFT/RIGHT.................SWITCH TEXT
	   I.....................SHOW MODULE-INFO
Select Text...
	SELECT TEXT:                      WRITTEN BY:
	THE EDITORIAL BY.......................D-ZIRE
	JUST SOME GREETS.......................R-CADE
	DID YOU KNOW?..........................R-CADE
	SOMEWHERE IN TIME........................INFO
	FREE VMB'S FROM..................THE SILENCER
	HOW TO CALL FOR FREE......................ICE
	DIRTY JOKES.........................BEN DOVER
	BORING GREETS FROM.....................D-ZIRE
	NICE PICKUP LINES - 1...............MIKE HUNT
	NICE PICKUP LINES - 2...............MIKE HUNT
	STAR TREK CORNER.......................D-ZIRE
	=-======[ (C)-94 THE DOODLES^SHOCK! ]======-=


        .-_________________   ________-   -  - - --.
        | \____  __/\_____ \ /  _____/ The doodles |
        |   /    |   /  |   \\_____  \   & sh0ck   |
        |  /     |  /   |    \   |    \            |
        | /      | /    :     \  :     \ presents: |
        |\\______| \__________/  ______/           |
        `---- -  -   -   -   \____/  -  -  - - ----'
          C H i P ' O ' M A T i C - i S S U E  # 4

  Have you seen the new MTV show?  Kurt Cobaine:  Plugged.

Hhmmmm.... yet another DELAYED issue? SURE!!!
But as we said before: What's something that isn't delayed?
... dunno! I've never seen it!

After all it's summer and the heat is much more than I can
stand... so don't expect TOO MUCH of this issue!
Alot more texts should have been in this issue but the
file size became TOO BIG so I had to delete around 8 of the
articles... they might be released in the next issue!

You can always send me your modules and I'll include them
on the next issue... the add is as always :

 David J. Elfstrom
 Markorgrand 22
 826 35 Soderhamn

Or just upload them at SOMEWHERE IN TIME or HYSTERIA!

                                      signed d-Zire

If you have sent some of your modules to us and we didn't
use em' in this issue (or didn't use them at all) don't feel
disapointed cause we've got so many chip-tunes so they might
come in some of the future issues...

Well yet another issue and we already delayed... too bad!
If you wanna be sure of getting all the future issues or
even back-issue, you can always subscribe... FOR FREE!

Just send a disk with your name and address and we'll send
you the future issues when they get released!

David J. Elfstrom
Markorgrand 22
826 35 Soderhamn
                                               The Staff

 Well, for all us swedes (above 18 that is) it's time to
vote for the swedish goverment this autumn and if you're in
any doubt who to vote for here's a great suggestion:
                       DONALD DUCK !!!
Well nothing new about that, but boy is he fast moving or ?
In the last election in 1991 he got 1535 votes and the one
before that he got about 600. That a increase with 156% !!!
If this rate keeps up he will be the prime minister of
Sweden some time in the 21 century!! Join the force or duck!
If you ever wondered: His car is a Ford Roadster model 1931!

            Here are some greetings from r-Cade:

    AEE, Babooshka and The Cat People, Elvis, Esko, 65an,
   Zeus, Blackbird, All Doodles / Sh0ck members worldwide!

Since it's summer and the air is filled with flies it may be
of some interest to know that all the offsprings in one
summer from just ONE pair of flies (if they're not killed or
eaten by something) would cover the whole earth with a 15 cm
thick layer of flies! So you know what to do, don't you?

Every second the worlds population grows with 3 more people.
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The first girl ever to sun-bathe top-less at a public beach
was 19 year old Toni Lee from Chicago. She did this in 1964
and was arrested within 3 minutes......
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A sexually aroused male elephant have red you?
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Some nice measures; Marilyn Monroe: 37-22-35 (inches...)
                   Brigitte Bardot: 98-48-98 (centimeters..)
In the Netherlands there are 14,9 million people and more
than 15 million bicycles. Figure that one out.....I can't
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When 'The Sound Of Music' was first imported to South-Korea
the man in charge thought the songs was crap and cut out all
the parts containing music. Of the movie's original 3 hours
were left only 57 minutes. The movie was a major hit !!!
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Stephen King writes on average about 2000 words each day...
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Mel Blanc who did, among other famous cartoons, the voice of
Bugs Bunny,was allergic to carrots and never could eat them.
A 74 year old golf-playing lady from Florida managed to make
a hole-in-one on a sunny day in March 1990 and another one
on the following day at the same hole. However since she has
been totally blind since birth her husband should have some
of the credit for telling her which way to aim.


              SoMEWHERE iN TiME iS BACK oNLiNE

  If sex is a pain in the arse then you're doing it wrong. 

      .  . :::::::::.
   _ __\·___   ___  :               - Is Simplicity Best -
       /¡   ¡ ¡   ¡ |          __ - Or Simply The Easiest? -
      · |   | |   | |  sATe!  /  \
     ·| |  O¦ ¦O  | |      __/\ _/
     _| !___: :___! |_    /  \  /             t h e
    ( __   (___)   __ )  /    \/¯\_       d o o d l e s
     \ \___________/ /  /   X_/  / \        s h o c k
      \  \_______/  /   \  · //\/  /
       \__ ----- __/    /\   \\//\/        - 1 9 9 4 -
         \_______/     /      ¯\\/

Free VMB's from The Mighty Silencer
TCCC findings vol.1

What to write about diz time?!
Hum  well I could tell you about some hacks I've done on som
lame   VMB's   and   answeringmachines   but  that  is  only
interesting  to  swedish  dudes.   Well  maybe  not,  if you
recognize  any  of  these companies look their number up and
try  the  stuff  out.   It  could  be fun!  Anywayz try this
number  out 020-793115, this is the swedish toll free number
to Orbit Helpdesk located in the London area / UK.  If some1
picks  up  the  phone  just  shout  real loud something like
BITCH!  SLUT!  or something equal and the next time you call
nobody  will answer (wonder why?  ;) and their Voice MailBox
system  will  pick  up.   Here you hear a brief messy from a
bitch  called  Anki  Baur  sumthing  and  it's  here the fun
starts...  Press the pound/hash sign (#) and enter a 3 digit
mailbox  number..   Most  Valid  boxes  range from 200-300..
here's sum valid boxes:

        218 - Graham Suddens    222 - Penny Jackson
        219 - Paul Coughan      223 - Donald Mathews
        220 - Nick Webbs        224 - Gordon Presley
        221 - Douglas           226 - Michael Key

There are also sum at 500 but who carez.
After  you've  picked a box you are promted to enter your(!)
authorisation code.  Hehe This is it..  The default password
on  ALL boxes on this shitty system..  tadadaa - The same as
the box number !  Har har har..  This means that box 218 has
the  pw  218  ...  219 has 219 etc.  I've played around with
this  system  a  while  and also have given out sum boxes to
friends  to  play with so some of the boxes may have changed
their  pw  code.   But there are lots to choose from so have
fun.  There are online help always so there shouldn't be any
trouble  messing  the system up :).  And if you want to have
an own 020 number..  try to hack the password out of box 243
..   This belongs to Anki Baur.  I had the default answering
box  when  it was 241 but it has changed now.  Quite cool to
have  your  own  toll free number don't you think?  I had it
for  a couple of months and it was cool..  And if you know a
friend  that  has  taken over let's say box 500..  then when
you  call  the vmb and the default greeting is running press
star (*) instead of (#) and then his boxnumber and there you
go recording a fine mess to your buddy.

 To finish this of here are the basic functions of the VMB:

Send a message:
020 79 3115 [*] <account> message [*]

Enter VMB:
020 79 3115 [#] <ACCOUNT> <PW>

0 Action Message -------------- 0 Redirect, # Delete, * Menu
1 Previous Message
2 Record Message
3 Next Message
* Other Options

4 Rewind Message
5 Time Date Sender
6 Fast Forward Message
7 Setup Menu
  1 Record Name ------------------------ 1 Hear Current
  2 Change PW (xxx) -- * back            2 Change Recording
  3 Change Dial & Deliver ?? -- * back
  4 Record Greeting -- * back
  5 Change Fax Number (none) -- * back

                                       / Silencer gotdamnid

      To reach me call my board Repulse +46-270-12138
          (nup:Amfetamin) or leave a message on my
        VMB 020-795120 <beep> 1/2 <tone> enter 8001.

            - Another Day in the Life We Live -

Yes  this  is Powerslave back on the keebord again, now with
out  the  annoing  Ice.  Its today thursday and since ice is
free from the army and i am unemployed.  We are sitting here
at  Ice's house watching some cult movies like Terror On Elm
Street III, and some other like The Living Dead Series.

Well  ofcorse  we  shud be down at the beach working on that
suntan.   But the wind is to hard.  So there are probably no
babes showing their tits, So why shud we bother.

And another reason we are sitting here, is the demand we got
from d-Zire.  'Write 30 Text's before sun set'.

Ok  now back to the movie for a short moment.  Want a refery
maybee  ?,  well here it goes.  Some crazy doctor just doped
the  leading role with some sleep drug ,(Phuu wont they ever
learn).   Im  writing  to slow to keep up the action.  (Just
found  out that the doctor was named neal, strange name on a
doctor is'ent it?  Well ok lets cut this crap and go on with
something else.

Well  yhee  i  can  tell  you  that we are off to a party on
saturday.  Phuu i'll probably get high as an ace and turn in
with  some  strange  duudes.   (Normaly its goes like that).
Yhee for all you peopel who missed the malmoe 'folkfesten' i
can tell you we had a splended time there.

Ok  now i guess i have said what cud be said on this subject
so  lets  cut  it here.  If you want to know about the movie
contact     me     and     i'll    give    you    a    OTPLR

By  the  way if you got any classic splatter movies on Laser
Disc and wants to sell them contact me on any board im on.

Ok See You, And Do Have A Splended Life!


   Some Greetings From Ice! And Powerslave (In No Order)

  Droopy-d                (Ice!: Lets get some hardware)

  d-Zire                  (Ice!: You are SO sexy. TDS rules)
                          (Ps! : I dont think so. TDS rules)

  Blizzard		  (Ice!: You've stayed alive a long
                                 time, COOL trading!)
                          (Ps! : Keep Up The Good Work)

  Trixy	Dixy		  (Ice!: See you at the next party!)
                          (Ps! : See Ice!'s messy!)

  Sate!			  (Ice!: Front Rules, Mano doesn't!)
                          (Ps! : Stay alive man!)

  The Silencer            (Ice!: Spagge                    )
                          (Ps! : GO HOME!                  )
  Norad                   (Ice!: Get A Life                )
                          (PsS!: Get A Life                )

  Fuze                    (Ice!: Consols Rules, Yab Yum!!  )
                          (Ps! : Consols Rules, Yab Yum!!  )

  SRL                     (Ice!: Glytte Soldat! - Malaj    )
                          (Ps! : Skit samma!               )

  Aragorn                 (Ice!: Führern                   )
                          (Ps! : Führern                   )

  The Big Byte            (Ps! : Burn Alive!               )

  Highlander/Bloodsuckers (Ice!: Your are KULT, bluerk!    )
                          (Ps! : Give me my printer back   )

  Mano                    (Ice!: Tihihi!                   )
                          (Ps! : Hahah!                    )

  Slash                   (Ice!: .info !?!?                )
                          (Ps! : Slicka mina skor!         )

  Negative Creep          (Ice!: Scania rules!             )
  Thunor                  (Ice!: Keep on painting!         )

  Armando/Hdl             (Ice!: Fastest ^ Coolest!        )

  13Th Angel              (Ice!: Lets have a beer together!)

  Roach                   (Ice!: See you at some party!    )
                          (Ps! : Take a shower man!        )

  Case ^ Filipette        (Ice!: Acid Jazz^Fusions is coool)

  Butch/Tds               (Ice!: Not much action anymore!? )

  Animal/Di               (Ice!: Keep on creating          )

  Rayban/Di               (Ice!: Ball o vara DI deck bytare)

  Black Shadow/Flt        (Ice!: Taking care of your board?)

  Rille                   (Ice!: Vorter po knena!? COOOL!  )

  Skyflash                (Ice!: Du e Mr.Bean              )

  Trooper                 (Ice!: My Favorit Punk!          )
                          (Ps! : Anarchy rules!            )

  Rhys                    (Ice!: Font Rules. C you at some
                                 party in the future       )
                          (Ps! : Great Board. Lets talk
                                 sometime!                 )

  Planet Master           (Ice!: DAD!                      )

  Saint                   (Ice!: Long time no chat!        )

  Mighty Dave             (Ice!: Mighty !?.. hihih!        )

                          (Ps! : Get some friend!! =)      )

  Axl/Di                  (Ice!: You are SOO sexy!         )

  Borre                   (Ice!: Lets start a new war man! )

  Ozone/Complex           (Ice!: Hows life, haven't talked
                                 in a long time!           )

  Rob/Classic             (Ice!: DreamScape !? =)          )
  Jetaza                  (Ice!: Still alive !??           )

  Damage                  (Ice!: Good luck with the kid!   )

  Xstaz                   (Ice!: You are the smartest!     )

  Zcandaler               (Ice!: Sooo, whats up?... lrz    )

 And of'coz there is more people who deservs greetings from
 us, but we cant think of anymore right now (Beer again =)
 Soo, see you all later in another text file!

                     Ice! ^ Powerslave!

                 Mini-Party at Ice's place!

Heres  the first text ever written in a co-operation between
Ice!   and  Powerslave!,  the  only  thing we have ever done
together  before is having sex....  But we cant do that in a
text in this superb issue of Chip-O-Matic.

I  (Ice!) is now home from the army and of'coz i am spending
my time doing all the things that normal teens do..  Smoking
maurio  and  drinking beer (I will of'coz only have time for
this  for about 4 weeks and then it's back to the amry..  =)
Powerslave  is  sitting  here  beside me eating some strange
green  thing...  I think it's called a space-cookie or some-

To  discuss  something  rather  strange  we  can  pick up an
intressting  subject  like pig-sex...  Sometimes when we are
really  stoned  we  watch a moive that Powerslave have where
they  make  love to pigs...  It's rather facinating really..
You  cant  imagine  how  nice  it sounds when the pigs oinks
after  getting  a  big  dick upp their asses..  Kinda coool,
right ?..  Huh, it's getting harder to write by the minute i
suppose  the beer is taking it rightfull parts of my brain..
Great  feeling..   Ooops...   Powerslave  just  puked on the
floor...  Hahaha, kinda cool, kick this guy out from all the
boards..   He  is  puking  on  my floor..  Bluerk!..  Smells
kinda strange..  Hmm..  Wait one sec.....  ..........  Hehe,
looks  like  he  had  spagetti  for dinner...  Not very well
chewed anyways, the meatballs looks much better.

And now to a list of all the guys we think are big jokes:

        1. Rob         (Ugly)
        2. Rohan       (Smells bad)
        3. Mano        (Thule Rules Big Time =)
        4. Xstaz       (Mollbrottet)
        5. V-Cut       (Don't call it a comeback he's
                        been here for years!)
        6. Mightymuz   (Tsss..)

This  list will probably get bigger in another issue when we
are sober enuff to think clear!..

Ok,  thats  it for this time!  See you all later on and have
sex, coz we will!..

                     Ice! ^ Powerslave!

   How To Call For Free......

I  guess  you  have all noticed that there isn't many of the
good  old  payphones  left  where you could call with money,
nowadays  all  the  phones are card-pay-phones and since not
everybody is walking around with a phone- card all the time,
we  all needed a way to call for free from the fucking phone
machines.   And  here it is, works great actually..  Do like

    1. Press 5 # on the pay phone, wich gives you a
       free call to the 'Nummer Upplysningen.

    2. When you get an answer there is two ways to go on

       a. Just dont say anything, and after a while they
          will get tierd on you and hang up and thats the
          sign for going to step #3 or...

       b. Ask for a number to someone, anybody, get the
          number and thank them for the help... and they
          will hangup.
        Just remeber you are NOT suppose to hangup when
        they do, you just go on to the third step...

    3. Whistle, yes, whistle in the phone... HIGH, do
       a real 'busvisling' and if you got it high and
       good enuff you will get the tone that shows that
       the phone is ready for a new call. And then...

    4. Dial the number on the pad that you wanna reach,
       and thats it, once again Telia (dZ:Felia) has
       proven to be one of the buggiest systems in the

OK, Ice!, is signing of, see you all later on!!

                          Ice!/Tds^Schop =)


                 Computergram International

        Motorola  Inc  finally  launched  the  long-promised
68060  follow  on to the 68040, claiming that it matches the
performance  of the Intel Corp Pentium at less than half the
price - it costs $263 at 50MHz when you order 10,000 or more
and  will  sample next month.  It is also claimed to deliver
twice  the performance of the 68040 at the same clock speed,
the  extra  speed  being  achieved  by  use of a superscalar
design  with  dual four-stage integer pipelines.  That means
that  the  chip  has  two  complete integer arithmetic-logic
units  side by side, with the instruction stream being split
into two and the two halves being executed in parallel.  The
part is claimed to deliver 100 MIPS peak at 50MHz - a figure
arrived  at  by  simple arithmetic; it is a peak performance
because  at  times,  one  instruction  stream will be halted
while  it  waits  for  an answer it needs to come out of the
other  side.   It  includes  8Kb instruction cache, 8Kb data
cache  and  256-entry  branch  cache.  It comes in 50MHz and
66MHz  versions runs off a 3.3V power supply where the 68040
requires  5V,  and  with the 68000 family out of favour as a
CPU   these   days,   it  is  aimed  primarily  at  embedded
applications    that    require    high-speed   computation,
input-output   and   data   movement  performance,  such  as
communications    and   graphics-oriented   applications   -
high-speed   printing,   image   processing   and  real-time
simulation.   There  are  also  cheaper  68LC060 and 68EC060
variants of the new part, which omit the memory manager, and
both  the  memory  manager and the floating point unit; they
cost $169 and $150 respectively for 10,000-up.


          ESC Special Edition, Volume 2, Issue 2.

ISI's   S68060-1-A   Provides   Seamless,  Inexpensive  Data
Migration to 68060 Processors

By: Luke Chang, EE
    Interconnect Systems, Inc.

As  many  users  of  Motorola's 68040 processors contemplate
transitioning  their  designs  to the new 68060, they seek a
seamless  migration  path that avoids painful investments in
new  hardware.   Interconnect  Systems  Inc.  (ISI), of Simi
Valley,   California,  has  developed  a  fast,  inexpensive
upgrade  path  with  its  S68060-1-A  upgrade  module.  This
module  supports  a  broad range of applications and markets
ranging from system upgrades in the embedded systems market,
to  microprocessor upgrades in the personal computer market.
ISI designed the upgrade in the form of a 'smart' PGA socket
which  contains the voltage regulator, logic conversion, and
optional  clock-doubling  circuitry needed to accomplish the
seamless migration.

The 68060 is the latest superscalar 32-bit microprocessor in
the  68000  Family.   It has two ALU pipelines, dual on-chip
cache,  and an integral FPU.  Initially, it will clock at 50
MHz,  and  requires a 3.3V power supply versus the 5V supply
on  the  68040.   The  68060 has several features which make
designing  an  upgrade  module  possible.  First, the 68060,
with a 223 pin (18x18 matrix) Pin Grid Array (PGA) footprint
is  a  'super  socket' version of the 179 pin (18x18 matrix)
used  for  the 68040.  Most of the signal, power, and ground
pins have the same location on the 68060 as are found on the
68040.   Second,  both  chips have the same 32-bit data bus.
This  means  that bus size conversion through external logic
and associated circuitry are not necessary.

Despite  the  similarities  between the 68060 and the 68040,
there  are  obviously some conversion problems which require
external circuitry.  As noted, the 68060 runs at 3.3V versus
the  68040's  5V.  The upgrade module provides a solution to
this  problem  by  using  a  voltage regulator to convert 5V
power from the existing 68040 chip attach site on the system
circuit board to the 3.3V power needed by the 68060.

Another  problem  is timing.  The 68060 will be available at
either  50  MHz or 66 MHz, twice the speed of relevant 68040
processors.   There are two solutions to this timing problem
depending  on  the actual system in which the upgrade module
is interfaced.  The first, and simpler, option is to use the
MC88916  Phase  Locked  Loop  chip found in many 68040-based
systems.  The design of the MC88916 makes it possible to get
a  clock-doubled  signal  from  this chip and feed it to the
68060.   There are, however, disadvantages to this solution.
The  maximum  frequency obtained is limited to 66 MHz by the
88916.   When  faster  versions  of the 68060 are available,
this  solution  will  not  work.   In addition, the 88916 is
dependent  on  the  RESET function on the 68040.  This means
some external logic is required to upgrade to the 68060.

An  alternative  solution to the timing problem is to use an
MC88915  Phase Locked Loop clock chip.  The 88915 can run at
very high speeds, up to 133 MHz, and is not dependent on the
68040  RESET  pin.   The  downside  to this solution is high
price--the  88915  is  a relatively expensive chip.  And, in
68040  systems  which already have the 88916, the 88915 will
not be utilized.

The   68060   upgrade   module  which  ISI  has  built,  P/N
S68060-1-A,  is  designed  to work with either of the timing
solutions   outlined.    If   the  88915-based  solution  is
employed, ISI's module is easily modified by disconnecting a
trace  on  one of the circuit boards.  Additional components
are included in the module with this version.

The  68060  also  accesses  some  signals  from  the  bus at
different  times  than  the  68040 microprocessor due to the
timing of the skew clock.  Some signals are triggered at the
rising edge rather than the falling edge, and the 68060 does
not  support the bus snooping mode of the 68040.  Therefore,
the   68060   upgrade   module  has  a  third  'sub-circuit'
containing  a  Programmable  Logic Array (PAL) chip to solve
timing problems.

Mechanically,  the S68060-1-A upgrade module consists of two
stacked PGA sockets which are fixed in place with two levels
of  interconnect  circuitry  and  components  nested  in the
sockets.   The  module is identical in size to the 68040 and
68060 PGA package in the horizontal (x,y) dimensions, with a
stack  height  of  approximately  .300 inch.  The top of the
module  is  a  Low  Insertion  Force  (LIF) PGA socket which
accepts the 68060 processor.  The bottom of the module is an
array  of  PGA  pins which match the footprint of the 68040.
These  pins  can  be soldered directly into the 68040 system
board or inserted into a socket on this board.

The  S68060-1-A  upgrade module is designed for a wide range
of  applications, from system characterization and test, and
system upgrade in the embedded market, to microprocessors in
the  personal  computer  market.   In  all  cases,  the main
purpose  of  the  product is to make a 'seamless' transition
from the 68040 to the 68060.

_The_Motorola_Developer's_Newsletter_ is published quarterly
by the High Performance Microprocessor Division of Motorola.
If   you   have   comments   or  questions  concerning  this
newsletter,  or  if  you  need  to make an address change or
addition,  FAX  us  at  (512) 891-2943 or write to us at the
following addresses:

 6501 West William Cannon Drive
 MD OE310
 Austin, Texas  78735-8598

 For article submissions please contact: Fred Stotz
 (512) 891-2668 or Bonie Quintanilla at Capital Relations,
 phone: 805-494-0830, FAX: 805-494-0780

Company  and  product  names that appear in this publication
are  for  identification  purposes  and should be considered
registered  trademarks of their respective owners.  Motorola
and the (M) are registered trademarks of Motorola.  Although
every  attempt  is  made  to  ensure  the  accuracy  of this
publications's  contents, Motorola and the authors assume no
responsibility  or  liability for any action caused directly
or indirectly by information contained in this publication.

            US Robotics Press Release on the new
               28.8 V.FAST SPORTSTER modems!

                      28.8 KBPS MODEMS

SKOKIE,  Ill.,  --  May  17,  1994  --  U.S.  Robotics, Inc.
(NASDAQ:USRX)  today  announced  the  addition  of three new
high-speed    Sportster   models   that   support   Rockwell
International  Corporation's  V.Fast Class (V.FC) technology
for  28.8  Kbps  data transmission and are upgradable to the
forthcoming ITU-T V.34 standard for 28.8Kbps.  The three new
Sportster  V.FC  modems, which are the fastest Sportsters to
date, will be available in early June.  The Sportster 28,800
Data/Fax  with  V.FC  external lists for $329, the Sportster
28,800  Data/Fax  with  V.FC  internal lists at $299 and the
Sportster 28,800 Mac&Fax with V.FC lists at $339.

'U.S.   Robotics has made 28.8 Kbps an affordable choice for
small  office/home  office  and personal users who want both
high  speed  and  flexibility,'  said  Michael Seedman, vice
president  and  general  manager,  U.S.   Robotics  personal
communications    products    group.     When    the   final
specifications  for the new ITU-T V.34 standard for 28.8Kbps
data  transmission  are  completed  later  this  year,  U.S.
Robotics will offer Sportster V.FC end-users an EPROM (chip)
upgrade.   Users  may  perform  the  chip swap themselves by
ordering  the chip from U.S.  Robotics for $29 plus postage.
Alternatively,  they  may  send their modems to the company,
and U.S.  Robotics will replace the chip for $49.
Software  for  Online  Services  Included For an easier time
getting  onto  the information superhighway, every Sportster
modem  is  now  bundled  with software and membership offers
from  six  of  the  most popular commercial online services:
America  On-Line,  CompuServe,  GEnie,  Imagination  Network
(formerly  the  Sierra  Game  Network) Prodigy and the Smart
Investor Network.

Additionally,  all  high-speed  Sportster modems, except the
Mac&Fax,  are  now  bundled  with QuickLink II software from
Smith Micro.

New 'Green' Packaging U.S.  Robotics now has environmentally
friendly  packaging.   The  interior protective packaging is
made from 100 percent recycled paper.  Known as 'egg carton'
packaging,  the new container offers improved protection for
Sportster  products,  and  enabled the company to reduce the
size of the box by 30 percent.

U.S.   Robotics,  Inc.  (NASDAQ:USRX) is a leading designer,
manufacturer and marketer of data communications systems and
products.     Corporate   headquarters   and   manufacturing
operations  are  based  in Skokie, Ill.  U.S.  Robotics owns
and  operates  U.S.  Robotics Ltd.  in Slough, England, U.S.
Robotics,  s.a., in Lille, France and P.N.B., s.a., based in
Suresnes,  France.   The  company  markets  its  products to
business,  industry, government agencies, original equipment
manufacturers and to end-users through the personal-computer
distribution channel.

Please  refer  reader  inquiries to U.S.  Robotics, Inc., at
1-800-DIAL  USR.   These  products  are  also  available  in
Canada;   for   editorial   information,  please  call  U.S.
Robotics Public Relations.

All   products   mentioned   are  trademarks  or  registere
trademarks of their respective manufacturers.

Q:  What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a
    Puerto Rican?
A:  Retardo.

Q:  What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher
A:  A visitor.

Q:  Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A:  So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q:  How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A:  A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the
    bosses' faces.

Q:  Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A:  They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q:  What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A:  Perri-air.

Q:  Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A:  She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.
Q:  Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A:  Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still

Q:  When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A:  When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

Q:  What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A:  The Air Pump!

Q:  How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A:  Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
Q:  Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's
A:  Because she got an F in sex.

Q:  What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A:  Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

Q:  Why did the blonde cross the road?
A:  I don't know.
R:  Neither did she.

Q:  Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the
A:  She missed.

Did  you  here  about the blonde that stayed up all night to
see where the sun went ?  It finally dawned on her.

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she
saw  a sign that said 'DISNEYLAND LEFT'.  After thinking for
a  minute, she said to herself 'oh well !' and turned around
an drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that
said 'CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES'.  By the time she drove eight
miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.

A  brunette  and  a blonde are walking along in a park.  The
brunette says suddenly, 'Awww, look at the dead birdie.' The
blonde stops, looks up, and says, 'Where?'

A  policeman  pulled  a blonde over after she'd been driving
the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop:      Do you know where you were going?
Blonde:   No,  but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all
          the people were leaving.

A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway.
     -Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?
     -Driver's licence? What's that?...
     -It's a little card with your picture on it.
     -Oh, duh! Here it is...
     -May I have your car insurance?
     -What's that?...
     -It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the
     -Oh this? Duh! Here you go...
     The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the
     blonde exclaims: -Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!

Hubby:        As a start I think you should learn to 'iron,'
              then we could do without the ironing lady.
Blonde Wife:  Well if you would learn to Fuck me properly we
              could do without the gardener.

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
 Brunette:  Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
   Blonde:  That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
 Brunette:  My god! I had no idea he was that good.
   Blonde:  ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb.  One of
them decides to call 911:
   Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing
           a light bulb.
 Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
   Blonde: Yes.
 Operator: The power in the house in on?
   Blonde: Of course.
 Operator: And the switch is on?
   Blonde: Yes, yes.
 Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
   Blonde: No, it's working fine.
 Operator: Then what's the problem?
   Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we
           all fell and hurt ourselves.

    There  were  three  people  stranded  on  an  island,  a
brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.  The brunette looked over
the  water  to  the  mainlandand estimated about 20 miles to
shore.   So  she  announced,  'I'm  going  to try to swim to
shore.'  So  she  swam out five miles, and got really tired.
She  swam  out  ten  miles  from the island, and she was too
tired to go on, so she drowned.

    The  second one, the redhead, said to herself, 'I wonder
if  she  made  it.' I guess it's better to try to get to the
mainland than stay here and starve.' So she attempts to swim
out.   The  redhead  had  a  lot  more  endurance  than  the
brunette,  as  she  swam  out  10  miles before she even got
tired.   After  15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she

    So the blonde thought to herself, 'I wonder if they made
it!   I  think  I'd better try to make it, too.' So she swam
out  5  miles,  ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the
island.  The shore was just in sight, but she said, 'I'm too
tired to go on!' So she swam back.

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when
the  blonde  said  to her boyfriend, 'Is it true that if you
pull you finger out, I'll sink?'

Two  blondes  were walking through the woods when one looked
down  and  said  'Oh,  look  at  the deer tracks.' The other
blonde  looks  and  says 'Those arn't deer tracks, those are
wolf  tracks.'  'No.   Those  are  deer  tracks.'  They keep
arguing,  and arguig, and one half hour later they were both
killed by a train.

The  blonde  came  running  downstairs,  crying.  Her mother
asked  what  was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had
just  dropped  her.  Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and
proceeded  to  tell her about the birds and the bees and the
blonde  said:  'No ma.  I can fuck and suck with the best of
them.  But he says I can't cook.'

Two  blondes  observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the
door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its
          starting to rain and the top is down!
A  blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a
bird  flying overhead.  Suddenly, the bird drops a load when
it  was  directly  over her.  The blonde says, 'Good thing I
had  my  mouth  open,  or  that would've hit me right in the

A  dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven.  When she got to the
Pearly  Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, 'Before you get
to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.' 'Oh, No!' she
said  but  Saint  Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
'Who  was  God's  son?'  said  Saint Peter.  The dumb Blonde
thought   for   a  few  minutes  and  said  'Andy!'  'That's
interesting...   What  made  you say that?' said Saint Peter
Then  She  started  to sing 'Andy walks with me!  Andy talks
with me!  Andy tells me...'

Did  you  hear  about  the  blonde  that went to library and
checked  out  a  book  called 'How to Hug'?  Got back to the
dorm   and   found   out   it   was   volume  seven  of  the

A blonde's response to the comment, 'THINK about it!':
     'I don't have to think -- I'm blonde!'

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked
the bartender:
         Brunette: -I'll have a B and C.
        Bartender: -What is a B and C?
         Brunette: -Bourbon and Coke.
          Redhead: -And, I'll have a G and T.
        Bartender: -What's a G and T?
          Redhead: -Gin and tonic.
           Blonde: -I'll have a 15.
        Bartender: -What's a 15?
           Blonde: -7 and 7

A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun -
they just don't remember who with.

Two  blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when
they  saw  a  blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row
boat.   The driver blonde turned to her friend and said 'You
know  -  it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!' To
this  the other blonde replied 'I know it, and if I knew how
to swim I'd go out there and drown her.'

...   then  there  was the blonde who started the restaurant
with the slogan 'Billions Served - just today'
Q.  How can you tell that a blonde's having a bad day.
A.  She has a tampon tucked behind her ear, and she can't
    find her pencil.

Q:  Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
A:  The rest are hunt'n peckers.

Q:  What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
A:  An air bag.

Q:  Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
A:  It's too hard to re-train them.
Q:  What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men.
A:  Their heels.

Q:  Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A:  They don't know the route.

Q:  Why do blondes work seven days a week?
A:  So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.

Q:  What is foreplay for a blonde?
A:  Thirty minutes of begging.

Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing
A:  It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a broom
A:  Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q:  What's the difference between a blonde and a phone
A:  You need a quarter to use the phone.

Q:  What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in
A:  They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q:  What did the blonde say when she knocked over the
    priceless Ming vase?
A:  'It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt.'

 Little  Jenny  came  home  from  school one day and she ran
straight  to  the  bathroom and started to cry.  Her mother,
concerned about her went in and asked what was wrong.
 'Well,'  replied  Jenny,  'we  just learned in health class
that  the  baby comes out where the boy's penis goes in.  Is
that true?'
 'Sure  honey,  but  that's  nothing to cry about,' said her
mother.   Then Jenny replied, 'But when I have Jonny's baby,
I'm afraid it'll knock out a few of my teeth!'

A  woman  goes to the doctor, complaining about carpet burns
on  her  knees.   The  doctor  asks  'How  did you get those
terrible  abrasions?'  'It  was  during doggie-sex' said the
woman.   'So  why don't you do it in the missionary position
then?' asked the doctor.  She replied 'I tried that, but the
dog has *awfull* breath.'

Mike Tyson's sitting in his jail cell rather bored, when his
promoter  King  comes  to  see him.  King's feeling a little
sorry  for his star so he says 'Well Mike I know you've been
here  a  while, can I do anything for ya?' 'Yeah' Tyson says
'I haven't had the pleasure of a womans company since before
they  dumped  me  in  this rathole, what can you do?' 'not a
problem'  king says.  So the next day King tee's up this pro
and Mike goes about his thing.  After the event Mike and the
pro  are  talking  and  the pro says to him 'do you want the
good  news  or  the bad news?' Mike says 'Well stuff the bad
news,  I've been in here, thats the bad news, whats the good
news?'  The pro replies 'Well you've got a bigger penis than

An  Australian  bush  ranger  bursted into a pub with a huge
croc  on  his  hands.   Every  one  were staring at him.  He
struggled  and  tied the croc to a heavy table.  While every
one were watching curiously, he pulled his dick out and wave
it  in  front  of the croc.  The beast lunged for it, but he
always  pulled  it  back  in  time.   While  every  one were
whistling, laughing, booing and drinking their beer, he said
'Any  one  wants  to  try?'  All  the  men  shook their head
'No!!!!'  Suddenly, a old female voice came from a corner of
the  bar  'Weeell,  I  wouldn't mind having a go but I don't
want to be tied back like the croc.!'

A lady goes into a hardware store and asks for a hinge.  The
man  at the counter gets one for her and asks 'Do you want a
screw for that hinge?'.  The lady says 'No, but I'll blow ya
for that toaster over there!'.

Two  Polacks purchased a bird dog.  They took the dog out to
give  it  a  try.  After a long while one Polack said to the
other,  'Well,  we'll throw him up in the air one more time.
If he doesn't fly, we'll shoot the son of a bitch!'

               GReeTiNGS! iN No SPECiAL oRDER!
r-Cade, Ice!, Powerslave!, Jac, Chig, Darwin, Butch, Deetroy
Blizzard, F.n.M, Case, Filippetto, Super Grover, Natas, Aqua
U-Man, Excalibur, Slash, Thug, Jonez, Rioter, D-Luxe, Loxley
Budweiser, Sleepwalker, Some1 & Prime, Colorbird, Lizardking
Tony, Borre, K-12, Vital, Dolphin (Qwik&Dirty), Crayone, Axy
Cybergod, Gin, Snuskis, Iridon, Kissblasan, Ray-Ban, Blaizer
Animal!, Chevron, Devilstar, Dux, Virus, Joker, The Silencer
Marillion, Spirou & Cuddley, Stain, Jason, Roach, Rob, Ozone
Cappuccino, 13th Angel, Zcandaler, Sate, Trixy Dixy, Dr.Doom
Kingpin, SRL, Norad, Core, Delusion, Mano, Elvis, Silent Run
Casca  Longinus, Bladerunner, Blackbird, Nightwind, Diogenes
Lawnmowerman, Don Martin, Exterior!, Fornic8r, Tequila, Nero
Cee-Dee, HitMan, D-Siya, C/\teye, Probe, Slim, Pete, Dracula
Double, Sy-Klone, Esko, MFM, Rabzi, Disc, Shark, Rubber, Laf
Pearl, Karma, Godhead, Terminator, Static, Foxx, Lynxx, Stef
Randy, Benz, Cluster, Fuze, Mike, Droppy-D...

       A More Complete List of Pickup Lines - Part 1
That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

Do you want to see something swell?

Hey  you  realize that my mouth can generate over
750 psi?

Drop 'em!

What do you like for breakfast?

Excuse me.  Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

Wanna fuck like bunnies?

Say, did we go to different schools together?

Why  don't  you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk
about the first thing that pops up?
I  had  a  friend who use to hand out phone cards that said:
'Smile  is you want to sleep with me.' And watch them try to
hold back their laugh.

Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?

Hey baby, let's go make some babies.

At the office copy machine.  'Reproducing eh?' 'Can I help?'

Would  you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and

I  think  we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed
weasels NOW!

Hey  babe...can  you suck a golf ball thru 50 feet of garden

Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?
Motion  with  your finger for a girl to come over.  When she
gets there say, 'I knew if I fingered you long enough you
 would cum.'

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck?  HEY!  What's wrong,
don't you like pizza?

A  women  asks, 'Excuse me, do you have the time?' You:  'Do
you have the energy?'

Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?

Say mother, want another?  (if she has kids)

Bond.  James Bond.

Hello love, do you spit or swallow?

You  look  like the type of girl that has heard ever line in
the book.  So what's one more?

Your place or mine?

Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
You  have  some  nice  jewelry.   It  would look great on my

Would you like to have morning coffee with me?

Your face or MINE!?

'Are you ready to go home yet?'

If  I  told you that you had a great body, would you hold it
against me?

When  she  asks, for a match.  How about the hair on my head
and the hair between your legs?

Nice tits.  Mind if I feel them?

I love you.  I want to marry you.  Now fuck my brains out.

Forget  that!   Playing  doctor  is  for  kids!   Let's play

Wanna  play  carnival?   You  sit on my face and I guess how
much your weight.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

I'm on fire.  Can I run through your sprinkler?

I'd look good on you.

Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?

I'd  give  you  a  piece  of  my  mind,  but  I have more of
something else.

I would kill or die to make love to you.
Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

Hi, I make more money than you can spend.

HI!  Can I buy you a car?


Fancy a fuck?

My face is leaving in 10 minutes.  Be on it.

Should I call you in the morning or nug you?

I'm  new  in  town.   Could  you  give me directions to your

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

I'm  Irish.   Do  you have any Irish in you?  Would you like

Chicks dig me; I wear colored underwear.

Excuse me, is it true that you're a sexual tyrannosaurus?

That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed.

Was  your  father  a  thief?  'Cause someone stole the stars
from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Look at the tag in her shirt and say:  'I want to see if you
were really made in heaven.'

Let's do breakfast tomorrow--should I call you or nudge you?

You know what I like about you?  My arms.

I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen...  On
a Wednesday.

Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?

How   did   you  achieve  such  a  gaudy  effect  with  only
FDA-approved cosmetics?

You're ugly, but you interest me.

Screw me if I am wrong but you want to fuck me don't you?

Do you believe in one-night-stands?

With one touch, I could make you make sounds that only a dog
could hear.

If  I  said you have an ugly body, would you hold it against

If  I  gave  you  a  neglige for my birthday, would there be
anything in it for me?

If  you  were  a  tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of
losing you.

I'm leaving this place...  want to cum?

I  know  this  is  going  to sound like a line, but did that
sound like a line?  And are you dissapointed?

Why  you've  got  the  whitest  teeth  I'd  ever want to cum

Who's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Ok, fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me.

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

Free  mamograms, get your free mamograms here, get 'em while
they're hot!

       A More Complete List of Pickup Lines - Part 1
Do  you  have a quarter?  Too bad, becuase I need to call my
mother and tell her that I found the woman of my dreams.

Do you have a map?  I just get lost in your eyes.

That's a nice shirt.  Can I talk you out of it?

Did you clean your pants with Windex?  I can practically see
myself in them.

Are  you  religious?   Good,  because I'm the answer to your

Do  you  have a boyfriend?  Well, when you want a MANfriend,
come and talk to me.

Did  it  hurt?  Woman:  Did what hurt?  When you fell out of

Do  I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you
with your clothes on?

You  got  nice  breasts,  but  what  color are your nipples?
Brown or Pink?

I  am  conducting a feel test of how many woman have pierced

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and
I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us

You smell wet.  Let's Party.

Pardon  me  miss,  but  I help noticing that you have cum in
your hair.

Gee, you don't sweat much for a fat chick.

Miss,  If  you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it
came in?

Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud'
and say:  Hey charlie, see anyone here you recognize?

I  saw  you  at  the party last weekend and you look kind of
interesting...  Let's meet sometime...

I've  had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look
pretty good.

No, I'm not a cop.  What can I get for fifty bucks?

Inheriting  eighty  million bucks doesn't mean much when you
have a weak heart.

Hello, Susie.  Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she
asked  me  to  pick  you  up  and take you home.  My, what a
pretty dress.

Excuse  me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we
shared a cab home together?

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

What's your sign?

You have the ass of a great artist.

Hi,  the  voices in my head told me to come over and talk to

Let's take a shower together --you smell.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?

Didn't  anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?!
I thought you knew...

Cold out isn't it?  (staring at breasts)

'Hey...  somebody farted.  Let's get out of here.'

'What was that?' 'That sound.' 'It was the sound of my heart

I  need  your help.  I must expel some seminal fluid.  May I
use your body?

Stand  back,  I'm  a  doctor.  You go get an ambulance, I'll
loosen her clothes.

Do  you  know,  your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour

Do you like jewels?  Well suck my cock, it's a GEM.

Do you sleep on your front?  Do you mind if I do?
Do you want to go halves on a bastard?

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??

I'll  bet you 10 bucks I could get all your cloths off in 30

I'd like to rearrange the alphabet and put u and i together

Since  we  shouldn't  waste this day and age what you say we
use these condoms in my pocket before they expire

Would you like to see me naked ??

I lost my phone number can i borrow yours ??

I was sitting here holding this cigarrete and I realized I'd
rather be holding you

If  your  parents  hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man
right now

Anything drugs can do I can do with my tongue

Either  way,  I'm  going  to have you tonight, so you may as
well be there.

Wanna go halves in a baby ?

Do you like chicken?  Suck this it's foul!

Do  you  know  the difference between a hamburger and a blow
job?  No!  D'ya wanna do lunch!

Do  you  know  the  essential  difference  between  sex  and
conversation?  No!  D'ya wanna go upstairs and talk!
Holding  out  two  fingers say, 'why should women masturbate
with  these two fingers?' When they say, 'I don't know', you
say, 'Coz they're mine sweetheart'.

I  feel  like  Richard  Gere,  I'm standing next to you, the
Pretty Woman.

'Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?'

The  chick  that usually sucks my dick has a shirt just like

You know, the woman I'd forget about for you is blonde, too!

Do you eat pork ?

'Hey,  little  girl,  how  'bout  a  quick  game of hide the

I'm  sorry  i'm  an  artist  and  it's  my  job  to stare at
beautiful women.

Do you like beef?  Well suck this, it's dripping.

Mmm.   You  like  to  chew  gum?   Cop  ahold  a'this - it's

You live around here often?

Excuse me, can I borrow your bra?

Yeah! Here it is for you all STAR TREK maniacs...

                    THE STAR TREK CORNER

Well it's pretty stupid to call it 'a corner', but what the
hell... who cares!
Just because it's the 1st of August and this issue MUST be
released today, I've thought that an old 'Episode Guide'
would be pretty nice for you all 'new' lovers of Star Trek
So enjoy...
         'Star Trek' (1966)

   Alexander Courage
   George Duning

   Majel Barrett......................Nurse Christine Chapel
   James Doohan...............Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott
   DeForest Kelley..............Doctor Leonard 'Bones' McCoy
   Walter Koenig.............Ensign Pavel Chekov (1967-1969)
   Nichelle Nichols.........................Lieutenant Uhuru
   Leonard Nimoy.............................Commander Spock
   William Shatner...............Captain James Tiberius Kirk
   George Takei..............................Mr. Hikaru Sulu
   Grace Lee Whitney......................Yeoman Janice Rand

                 THE oRiGiNAL PiLoT (1966)
[000] - The Cage                           Stardate :   ?   
    STAR TREK : THE oRiGiNAL SERiES - YEAR 1 (1966-1967)
[001] - Where No Man Has Gone Before (P)   Stardate : 1312.4
[002] - The Corbomite Manoeuver            Stardate : 1512.2
[003] - Mudd's Women                       Stardate : 1329.8
[004] - The Enemy Within                   Stardate : 1672.1
[005] - The Man Trap                       Stardate : 1513.1
[006] - The Naked Time                     Stardate : 1704.2
[007] - Charlie X                          Stardate : 1533.6
[008] - Balance Of Terror                  Stardate : 1709.2
[009] - What Are Little Girls Made Of      Stardate : 2712.4
[010] - Dagger Of The Mind                 Stardate : 2715.1
[011] - Miri                               Stardate : 2713.5
[012] - The Conscience Of The King         Stardate : 2817.6
[013] - The Galileo Seven                  Stardate : 2821.5
[014] - Court Martial                      Stardate : 2947.3
[015] - The Menagerie, Part 1              Stardate : 3012.4
[016] - The Menagerie, Part 2              Stardate : 3013.1
[017] - Shore Leave                        Stardate : 3025.3
[018] - The Squire Of Gothos               Stardate : 2124.5
[019] - Arena                              Stardate : 3045.6
[020] - The Alternative Factor             Stardate : 3087.6
[021] - Tomorrow Is Yesterday              Stardate : 3113.2
[022] - The Return Of The Archons          Stardate : 3156.2
[023] - A Taste Of Armageddon              Stardate : 3192.1
[024] - Space Seed                         Stardate : 3141.9
[025] - This Side Of Paradise              Stardate : 3417.3
[026] - The Devil In The Dark              Stardate : 3196.1
[027] - Errand Of Mercy                    Stardate : 3198.4
[028] - The City On The Edge Of Forever    Stardate :   ?   
[029] - Operation - Annihilate!            Stardate : 3287.2
    STAR TREK : THE oRiGiNAL SERiES - YEAR 2 (1967-1968)
[030] - Catspaw                            Stardate : 3018.2
[031] - Metamorphosis                      Stardate : 3219.8
[032] - Friday's Child                     Stardate : 3497.2
[033] - Who Mourns For Adonais?            Stardate : 3468.1
[034] - Amok Time                          Stardate : 3372.7
[035] - The Doomsday Machine               Stardate :   ?   
[036] - Wolf In The Fold                   Stardate : 3614.9
[037] - The Changeling                     Stardate : 3451.9
[038] - The Apple                          Stardate : 3715.3
[039] - Mirror Mirror                      Stardate :   ?   
[040] - The Deadly Years                   Stardate : 3478.2
[041] - I, Mudd                            Stardate : 4513.3
[042] - The Trouble With Tribbles          Stardate : 4523.3
[043] - Bread And Circuses                 Stardate : 4040.7
[044] - Journey To Babel                   Stardate : 3842.3
[045] - A Private Little War               Stardate : 4211.4
[046] - The Gamesters Of Triskelion        Stardate : 3211.7
[047] - Obsession                          Stardate : 3619.2
[048] - The Immunity Syndrome              Stardate : 4307.1
[049] - A Piece Of The Action              Stardate :   ?   
[050] - By Any Other Name                  Stardate : 4657.5
[051] - Return To Tomorrow                 Stardate : 4768.3
[052] - Patterns Of Force                  Stardate :   ?   
[053] - The Ultimate Computer              Stardate : 4729.4
[054] - The Omega Glory                    Stardate :   ?   
[055] - Assignment: Earth                  Stardate :   ?   
    STAR TREK : THE oRiGiNAL SERiES - YEAR 3 (1968-1969)
[056] - Spectre Of The Gun                 Stardate : 4385.3
[057] - Elaan Of Troyius                   Stardate : 4372.5
[058] - The Paradise Syndrome              Stardate : 4842.6
[059] - The Enterprise Incident            Stardate : 5027.3
[060] - And The Children Shall Lead        Stardate : 5029.5
[061] - Spock's Brain                      Stardate : 5431.4
[062] - Is There In Truth No Beauty        Stardate : 5630.7
[063] - The Empath                         Stardate : 5121.5
[064] - The Tholian Web                    Stardate : 5693.2
[065] - For The World Is Hollow And I
        Have Touched The Sky               Stardate : 5476.3
[066] - Day Of The Dove                    Stardate :   ?   
[067] - Plato's Stepchildren               Stardate : 5784.2
[068] - Wink Of An Eye                     Stardate : 5710.5
[069] - That Which Survives                Stardate :   ?   
[070] - Let That Be Your Last Battlefield  Stardate : 5730.2
[071] - Whom Gods Destroy                  Stardate : 5718.3
[072] - The Mark Of Gideon                 Stardate : 5423.4
[073] - The Lights Of Zetar                Stardate : 5725.3
[074] - The Cloud Minders                  Stardate : 5818.4
[075] - The Way To Eden                    Stardate : 5832.3
[076] - Requiem For Methuselah             Stardate : 5843.7
[077] - The Savage Curtain                 Stardate : 5906.4
[078] - All Our Yesterdays                 Stardate : 5943.7
[079] - Turnabout Intruder                 Stardate : 5928.5
As we all know the series was canceled after episode 79...
The motion pictures & The Next Generation follows next time


                   THE DooDLES^SHoCK 1994