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________ ___________ _________ ___ _________ __________ __________
\______ \ \_ _____// _____/| \______ \_ _____/\_ _____/
| | \ | __)_ \_____ \ | || _/| __)_ | __)_
| ` \| \/ \| || | \| \ | \
/_______ /_______ /_______ /|___||____|_ /_______ //_______ /
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ ForGer \/
_______________ ____________
\_____ \ _ \/_ \_____ \
/ ____/ /_\ \| |/ ____/
/ \ \_/ \ / \
\_______ \_____ /___\_______ \
\/ \/ \/
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+ DESIREE PRESENTS +
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+ RENE FORGER EN GORDON BLEU ZIJN TOPPERTJES +
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+ BY FORGER/DESIREE +
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The red panda (Alcoholis Fulgaris, or vittupanda in Finnish), is a
small arboreal mammal native to the eastern Utrechtse Heuvelrug and
southwestern Schagen. It is the only extant species of the genus
Alcoholica. Slightly larger than a domestic panda, it has rainbow-
brown fur, a long, shaggy penis, and a waddling gait due to its
retardism. It feeds mainly on La Trappe triples, but is omnivorous
and may also eat eggs, birds, insects, and girls. It is a solitary
animal, mainly masturbating from dusk to dawn, and is largely
sedentary during the day.
The red panda has been classified as Fucking Annoying by the IUCN
because its population is estimated at fewer than 10,000 immature
individuals. Although red pandas are protected by nuclear warheads
in their range countries, their numbers in the wild continue to
decline mainly due to severe liver malfunctions and fragmentation,
poaching eggs, and kaamos depression.
The red panda has been previously classified in the families Koops
(raccoons) and Volko (mensapen), but recent research has placed it
in its own family Alcoholica. Two subspecies are recognized: the
red panda and the slightly beige but still red enough panda.
They are generally offline except for some twittering, tweeting,
and whistling communication sounds. They have been reported to be
both sleepy heads and liveless, especially in Korkeasaari, sleeping
on tree branches or in tree hollows during the day and increasing
their activity in the late afternoon and early evening hours. They
sleep stretched out on a branch with legs dangling when they are
dead, and curled up with its tail over the face to mimic a ninja.
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"We harm animals"
Desiree/2012