.fail Enterprises Public Relations document - for immediate release
-- Windows Achievements --
Ever feel unappreciated when using Your computer? Feel that Your everyday acts of heroism in front of the screen are not given proper attention?
.fail Enterprises has the solution for You! We proudly present "Windows Achievements", the best-in-class, enterprise grade, user-friendly achievement solution for the desktop.
Simply double-click the application, and it will run as a service in the background. Once You've completed an achievement-worthy action (and believe us, there are many), you will be awarded an achievement, boosting spirit and morale. Independent laboratory tests have shown a 35% increase in worker productivity in a Windows Achivement Enabled Workplace (tm).
To exit the application, simply shutdown the .exe file via the Windows task manager.
Lastly, .fail Enterprises would like to congratulate You on Your choice and welcome You to a new era of happiness, productivity and enjoyment* with Windows Achievements!
* Known side effects include: rage, headache, nausea, and an uncontrollable urge to throw the computer monitor through the window.