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(appeared in DemoNews issue 117, February 23 1996)

=-------------------------------------------[Things to Know about NAID]--[GD]-=

 _____Introduction

 Last year around this time, I constructed a checklist for those planning to
 go to NAID. This list included several things which one might need for the
 trip.

 Once again, we are nearing that time when we will embark on our journeys of
 varying length and direction to get us to NAID 1996. Therefore, I think it is
 crucial that you know the following information before planning your trip.

 _____Weather

 Being moved from mid-April to late-May, NAID will hopefully have a different
 climate this time around.  Instead of the snow we were met with last year, we
 can hope to be rewarded this time around with shorts and t-shirt weather.

 However, a computer's processor actually works better when it is colder, so
 expect your demo to run slowly on the competition machine this year. I heard
 the organizers tried putting the CPU into a tank of ice cold water, but the
 test results came back negative.

 _____Driving

 If you are driving, you will need to exercise extreme caution on the streets
 of Montreal and surrounding areas. This is because Canadian drivers do not
 act the way you expect them to.

 When driving on a busy street, you must be careful that others do not cut you
 off. To be sure of this, locate a vehicle with Canadian license plates and
 tailgate them for as long as they continue going in your direction.

 This will also prevent the oncoming traffic from seeing your license plate
 and labeling you as a "tourist" complete with complimentary hand gestures.

 _____Bathrooms

 Last year, the small number of females associated with the demo scene were
 incorrectly overlooked. Due to this, the bathrooms were not adequately
 labeled. As a result, some females at the party place were accidentally using
 the men's bathroom (that is until one male came out of the showers and was
 discovered by a female.)

 In other words, guys, if you want to show off your stuff, this time you'll
 have to use the women's bathroom.

 _____Sleeping

 In the Hornet NAID report, we all saw a photo of a guy and a girl together in
 the same sleeping bag. Now, I am going to assume that their intentions were
 strictly to conserve space while packing their belongings.

 May I recommend an alternative for couples who intend to share sleeping bags
 at NAID to take turns sleeping. This will leave more space in the sleeping
 rooms for others, as well. It will also mean that your sleeping bag gets not
 8, but 16 hours of use in one day!  That effectively doubles its usefulness.

 _____Eating

 With all the activity at NAID, it can be at times difficult to set aside some
 time to grab a bite to eat. There are people you want to go chat with, take
 pictures of, and perhaps work together with on a competition entry.

 Since you never know when you might get a free moment to hit the snack bar, I
 suggest you always keep a napkin tucked into your waist. Messy eaters may
 also want to wear a bib under their chins. You will be ready to eat at a
 moment's notice, and your clothes won't get stained.

 _____Conclusion

 If you are able to follow these simple suggestions, you should enjoy NAID
 thoroughly.  The first step to having a good time is effective planning. If
 you do follow these guidelines, please remember that I am not responsible for
 any odd stares, point-and-giggle, or blushed-face effects which you may
 experience.

 If you would like to check out the NAID WWW page, set your web browser to the
 following URL:  http://www.autoroute.net/~naid

 If you would like to contact the NAID organizers, send email to the following
 address:  naid@autoroute.net

 GD / Hornet - gd@ftp.cdrom.com