(appeared in DemoNews issue 118, March 5 1996)
=--------------------------[10 Ways NAID '95 Will Differ from NAID '96]--[GD]-=
Are you considering going to NAID this year? Not sure if you want to go or
not? Heard some things that made you suspicious?
Many people seem unsure whether or not they want to make the sacrifice of
time and money to attend. With pressures of school and final exams, some
potential attendees are unsure if they will make it to NAID 1996.
Following is a list of ten ways that NAID 1996 will differ from NAID 1995.
Hopefully, you will see that this is to be a party you won't want to miss.
_____Reason 01: From Spotlights to Lasers
The NAID organizers have been discussing the possibility of a laser light
show this year. Remember those "dance floor" style spotlights they used last
year? Well, those would be replaced by laser technology.
This will improve the visual effects greatly. By adding laser lights to the
setup, it will create an incredible effect for those who want to feel as if
they're at a real rave. Even better, anyone needing laser surgery can just
position themselves appropriately between laser beams and save thousands of
dollars in medical fees.
_____Reason 02: Parlez-vous francais?
The language barrier was one difficult aspect for some Americans traveling
to Montreal. As those who live in Montreal speak french as their primary
language, verbal communication was a problem.
With a year and two months between NAID 1995 and NAID 1996, hopefully some
people have tried to work on the issue of the language barrier. However, I
suggest a French-English dictionary, as some of your good friends who know
french are most likely going to only teach you french phrases that
translate into something like "You look like my mother, you stupid
pancake!" or "Will you go to bed with me, you revolting jackass?"
_____Reason 03: Price Difference
People have been talking about the difference in ticket prices this year. The
admission fee is CA$20, as compared to last year which cost CA$7.
The organizers have decided to combat complaints about the sudden price
increase with some special deals:
Three-Arm Discount (TAD) : All persons with three arms shall receive 50% off
the admission fees.
Two-Foot Discount (TFD) : Anyone who stands less than two feet tall will
only need to pay CA$2 for admission.
Green-Hair Discount (GHD): Anyone entering with green hair will be admitted
for CA$5. Persons taking advantage of the GHD must
pose as plants any time someone's parents walk by.
_____Reason 04: The wrath of PeriSoft
Ever since last year, PeriSoft has been plotting his revenge against the
"evil forces of Hornet" for the comment about him in the Hornet NAID report.
This year, witness it live as the drama unfolds.
Supposedly, one of PeriSoft's revenge tactics will be to bring an Alannis
Morrisette CD and secretly place speakers in the Hornet room through which
this CD will be played constantly. The results of such an experiment could
have drastic effects, so watch and see what happens.
_____Reason 05: Necros
Dungeon Dwellers Design is a USA-based demo group that was in attendance at
NAID 1995. They also entered a demo into the competition. They took many
pictures at NAID and released a party report.
Unfortunately, DDD made several errors in their NAID report, which confused
some people as to who won which compo with which entry.
This year, Necros may fall victim to a large amount of lamers asking him if
he is going to write another song like his hit, "Can't Take the Bus."
_____Reason 06: The Snowman Speech
Before the closing ceremony last year, Snowman presented a very memorable
speech to the soon-to-be-departing crowd. As many people complimented his
efforts, he will again be making a speech this year.
However, this year's speech proves to be more than a monologue, as Snowman
recently released his cast list:
Ara (formerly Epeius) ............... Human "beat box"
The Zapper .......................... Bass Guitar
Maelcum ............................. "Move it Move it" voice
Miss Saigon ......................... "Whoo! Yeah!" voice
_____Reason 07: Drugs and Alcohol
Drugs and Alcohol are prohibited in the school at which NAID 1996 will be
held. Because of this, the organizers are making special arrangements to
inspect the belongings of those suspected to have any illegal possessions.
They are arranging a "we get half, you get half" deal with anyone who
wishes to consume said possessions at the party place. Be sure to stock up
and bring twice your normal supply.
_____Reason 08: 1-900-NAID-FUN
The organizers have been so overwhelmed with telephone calls that they have
set up this 1-900 answering service. Callers will be able to get their
questions answered and even get a chance to win some great prizes! The
prize list follows:
Free NAID tickets will be given out to every 1000th caller
If you are able to "Name this Hadji S3M" you can win one of these
- Year old subs (leftover food from Subway, who served food at NAID
1995 and forgot to clean up)
- Year old tshirts (they were left outside during a rainstorm, and
put through a very powerful dryer. All shirts are
now exactly 7 sizes smaller than stated on the
Each call costs $1.00 a minute. If you're under 18, be sure to get
permission from your parent or legal guardian before calling.
_____Reason 09: The "Deep-Six Demo Compo"
Is your computer waterproof? Ever thought of putting it inside a sealed
plastic bag and submerging it in water?
Since the pool was not used much last year, the organizers have introduced
this competition, which states that "Computers will be submerged into the
pool after starting a popular European demo. The owner of last computer to
remain running underwater is the winner.
The organizers are seeking judges for this competition. To be eligible, you
need to be able to hold your breath for 10 minutes, have a certified
lifeguard license, and sign a release form stating that the organizers are
"not responsible for drowning, choking, or excess water intake."
_____Reason 10: Electricity
Last year the organizers were very fortunate to not experience any amount
of interruption in the power supply. There were no power failures and no
equipment was damaged by a spike or surge.
This year, you won't want to miss out on your chance to fry the power
system! Be the lamer responsible for a blackout during the demo
competition! Get hundreds of angry partygoers chasing after you!
To enter in this competition, all you need is an electrical device which,
when plugged in, will overload the circuit breaker and cause a power
outage. Winners will receive a first-class shunning.
This guide is your road map to fun at NAID 1996! Be sure to attend this
event because it only happens once a year.
Enjoy the show, meet new friends, and learn how to swear at your parents in
a different language! What more could you ask for?
GD / Hornet - email@example.com