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IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS DATA. THE DATA WAS WITHOUT FORM AND NULL, AND DARKNESS WAS UPON THE FACE OF THE CONSOLE AND THE SPIRIT OF IBM WAS MOVING OVER THE FACE OF THE MARKET. AND DEC SAID, 'LET THERE BE REGISTERS' AND THERE WERE REGISTERS. AND DEC SAW THAT THEY CARRIED AND DEC SEPARATED THE DATA FROM THE INSTRUCTIONS. DEC CALLED THE DATA STACK, AND THE INSTRUCTIONS THEY CALLED CODE. AND THERE WAS EVENING AND THERE WAS MORNING, ONE INTERRUPT... . . . . . ^_` WAS BORN. AND NOW WE ARE BACK BETTER THAN EVER (I HOPE) THIS IS THE SECOND DEMO FROM TAC II - AND IT'S A MUSIC DISK (ISN'T IT NICE?) 'CAUSE LACK OF DISKSPACE (ONLY 400K LEFT) THIS WILL BE A SHORT SCROLL I.E. IT WON'T TAKE HALF A DAY TO READ ALL THE TEXT WITHOUT A DISKEDITOR. . IN THIS SCROLL YOU'LL BE ABLE TO READ A LOT OF INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT NOTHING, SOME GREETINGS, SOME THANX, SOME MORE INFORMATION ABOUT TOTALY UNINTRESTING THINGS AND A STORY OR TWO. I.E. IT'S A QUITE ORDINARY SCROLL (I LIKE THAT I.E. STUFF. ) RIGHT NOW I'M LISTENING TO THE RADIO AND THEY (P3) ARE PLAYING SOME KIND OF COUNTRY MUSIC, BUT WAIT THEY JUST CHANGED THE TUNE HMMMM IT'S BETTER ANYWAY. IN THE UPPER SCROLL YOU CAN READ SOME RULES FOR A REAL PROGRAMMER. (SOME PEOPLE OUGHT TO KNOW THEM (MY SYT.TEACHER IS ONE OF THEM!)) IN THE BEGINNING THERE..... (OOPS!) .. OF THIS SCROLL YOU COULD READ 'THE STORY OF CREATION OR THE MYTH OF URK' WRITTEN BY RICO TUDOR (NOT A MEMBER OF TAC) SUCK! (O.B.S. SVENSKA) AND NOW SOME MORE SVENSKA -VARF\R SLUTADE DU SJUNGA I KYRKOK\REN? -JO, DET VAR EN S\NDAG D] JAG INTE KUNDE VARA MED OCH D] FR]GADE ALLA OM ORGELN HADE BLIVIT ST[MD. (VAD] MAN M]STE JU FYLLA UT MED N]GONTING!) OCH NU TILLBAKA TILL UTRIKISKA. THE (ESC)-KEY TOGGLES THE LOW-PASS FILTER (IF YOU'VE GOT ONE OF THOSE SWITCHABLE FILTERS.) SOME AMIGAS HAVE GOT THEM AND SOME HAVEN'T. IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT ONE IN YOUR AMIGA - THERE IS NO NEED FOR CRYIN' ANYWAY. SOME MORE INSTRUX LATER. IT'S TIME FOR PART ONE IN OUR SERIES OF IBM OPCODES BRANCH ON BURNED-OUT INDICATOR BRANCH AND HANG READ AND WRITE WHILE RIPPING TAPE HALT AND CATCH FIRE . . . TO BE CONTINUED SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE. PLEASE WAIT A WHILE, I'VE GOT TO TURN THE RADIO OFF 'CAUSE IT'S HOCKEY (BL\RK!) HERE COMES A QUESTION FROM A TEST SOMEBODY HAVE HAD. IT'S ABOUT ENGINEERING. (NATURARE G\R SIG ICKE BESV[R!) 'THE DISASSEMBLED PARTS OF A HIGH-POWERED RIFLE HAVE BEEN PLACED IN A BOX ON YOUR DESK. YOU WILL ALSO FIND AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, PRINTED IN SWAHILI. IN TEN MINUTES A HUNGRY BENGAL TIGER WILL BE ADMITTED TO YOUR ROOM. TAKE WHATEVER ACTION YOU FEEL APPROPRIATE. BE PREPARED TO JUSTIFY YOUR DECISION.' HOPE HE OR SHE HAD SOMETHING TO FEED THAT TIGER WITH. HERE COMMES SOME MORE INSTRUCTIONS: YOU CAN USE THE < AND > KEYS TO CONTROL THE SCROLL SPEED (THERE ARE TWO SPEEDS: SLOW AND SLOWER) AND IF YOU PRESS 'T' YOU WON'T GET TURBO SPEED (HE HE) IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, YOU CAN USE THE F-KEYS TO SELECT ANY TUNE FROM THE MENU AT ALMOST ANY TIME (AMAZING, ISN'T IT?) AND NOW THE GREETINS HMMM WE DON'T KNOW ALL GROUPS, SO IF YOU AREN'T IN THE LIST PLEASE DON'T CONTACT US I REPEAT D O N ' T ! ONLY A FEW PRIVILEGED FRIENDS MAY CONTACT US. WAVES: HEJ RASMUS - GIVE YOUR OLD AMSTRAD CONTACTS A CALL OR DROP US A NOTE. $ OLYMPOS: VADOR - THANKS FOR THE MUSIC. ROY - WE WANT TO SEE YOUR DEMO NOW!!! % G\STA - SVIKARE! & WILLAN - DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY! # E.S.A.: EUOROPEAN SOFTWARE AGENCY TAKES TO MUCH SPACE TO WRITE. d BELLE (LITH) - DETTA [R INTE EN MEGA-ST 2. % COZMO - PLUGGAR DU FORTFARANDE I LULE]? d TOMTEN, HEJ! $ OLA, HA HA NI F\RLORADE INNEBANDYN MOT TT4A. HE HE & DANIEL - GOT TO HAVE YOU IN THE LIST. ^_` THAT WAS ALL I HOPE. BY THE WAY, VI HAR INGA GR\NSAKER MED I DET H[R DEMOT KAKTUS. AND NORTHSTAR, SORRY IF IT GOT OUT HOW TO RIP FROM YOUR MEGADEMO III. (IT'S A NICE MEGADEMO.) SPECIAL GREETZ TO ALL 68000 PROGRAMMERS! YOU ARE PERHAPS WONDERING WHO THE MEMBERS OF THIS WONDERFUL GROUP ARE? ^_` HERE WE ARE: I'M ;= (DON BERO) OTHER MEMBERS ARE: a (FEZZ) b (LAZY) / (NEWO) AND c (RALLE) STRANGE NAMES? IT COULD BE WORSE! YOU KNOW. . . . THE BIG PROBLEM WHEN WRITING A DEMO ISN'T TO WRITE THE CODE. . . . . IT'S TO INVENT SOME NICE EFFECTS AND WRITE THIS ------ SCROLLTEXT. 'CAUSE WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE THE TEXT, ALL INSPIRATION DISAPPEARS, AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO WRITE. THAT'S A SERIOUS PROBLEM BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANYTHING TO WRITE, OR TELL THE WORLD, . . . . . . WHO CARES ANYWAY? EVRYONE HAS GOT THE RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED. TO MAKE A BREAK WE ARE NOW GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY - - - - - - - - - - - - HERE IT COMES. . . . . . . . NOW! AFTER 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS THE ARK RUNNS AGROUND AND THE FLOOD SUBSIDES. NOAH KICKS OPEN THE ARK'S DOOR AND SAYS: 'BEHOLD, THE FLOOD HAS ENDED! ALL YOU ANIMALS GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY!' SO THE ANIMALS WANDER DOWN THE RAMP TWO BY TWO UNTIL IT'S THE SNAKES' TURN. THEY LOOK UP AT NOAH WITH TEARFUL EYES AND SAY: 'BUT NOAH, WE CAN'T MULTIPLY, FOR WE ARE ADDERS.' NOAH IS VISIBLY MIFFED. OFF HE GOES INTO THE NEAREST FOREST AND CUTS DOWN SOME TREES. HE SAWS AND HAMMERS UNTIL HE HAS MADE A TABLE OUT OF THE WOOD. HE DRAGS THIS BACK TO THE ARK AND PUTS IT IN FRONT OF THE SNAKES WITH A HUFF. 'BEHOLD, SNAKES! I HAVE BUILT A TABLE OF LOGS. NOW YOU ADDERS CAN MULTIPLY!' AND WITH THAT LITTLE STORY WE SAY 'TAC OCH ADJ\' JAG HOPPAS ATT VI INTE HAR TRAMPAT ALLT F\R M]NGA P] T]RNA (I ALLA FALL INTE S] ATT DET HAR GJORT ONT!) SE YA LATER
A FEW IMPORTANT RULES FOR A REAL PROGRAMMER A REAL PROGRAMMER NEVER WORK FROM NINE TO FIVE. IF ANY REAL PROGRAMMERIS ARROUNDAT NINE AM IT'S BECAUSE HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT. A REAL PROGRAMMER DON'T WRITE IN APL. ANY FOOL CAN BE OBSCURE IN APL. A REAL PROGRAMMER DON'T WRITE IN PASCAL OR BLISS OR ADA OR ANY OF THOSE PINKO COMPUTER SCIENCE LANGUAGES. STRONG TYPING IS FOR PEOPLE WITH WEAK MEMORIES. A REAL PROGRAMMER THINK BETTER WHEN PLAYING ADVENTURE. A REAL PROGRAMMER NEVER TEST. TESTING IS FOR PEOPLE WHITH WEAK NERVES AND NO SELF- CONFIDENCE A REAL PROGRAMMER NEVER TAKES A BACKUP. A REAL PROGRAMMER THINKS STRUCTURED PROGRAMS ARE COMMUNIST PLOTS. A REAL PROGRAMMER DON'T COMMENT HIS CODE.IF IT WAS HARD TO WRITE IT SHOULD BE HARD TO READ. A REAL PROGRAMMER NEVER UPDATE THE SOURCETO REFLECT THE ZAPS.AFTER ALL IT WILL HAVE CHANGED AGAIN TOMORROW. A REAL PROGRAMMERNEVER GETSANNOYED BY SECURITY SYSTEMS. HE TURNS OFF THE RACF BITS AND LEAVES UNSIGNED MESSAGES IN THE SECURITY DATA SETS. A REAL PROGRAMMER DON'T DOCUMENT. DOCUMENT- ATION IS FOR SIMPS WHO CAN'T READ THE LISTINGS OR THE OBJECT DECK.