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DEMO TOO BRILLIANT
QUARTZ(U.K) ýPRESENTS THEIR LATEST DEMO, CALLED THE PUPPY FONDLER ýTHIS IS NUKE WRITING. I BET YOU CAN'T GUESS WHO THE P.F IS IN REAL LIFE; WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW - IT COULD BE YOU! FIND OUT LATER ON. WE CAN SAY AT THIS TIME: IT'S NOT ANY OF US AND HE'S A REAL SHITHEADED, SEVERELY PERVERTED, ASS-LICKING ORIFICE IN THE REAR ABDOMINAL REGION (USUALLY) (ASSHOLE TO STUPID PEOPLE), WHO IS UNIQUE IN THAT HE WON THE MR LOW LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE AWARD THREE YEARS RUNNING! WELL, I BET BY NOW, YOU'RE PRETTY PISSED OFF WITH THIS DEMO, ESPECIALLY THE MUSIC (WHICH WAS CONTRIBUTED BY OUR DEAR FRIEND MATT) SO I'LL TELL YOU A SECRET ... COME A LITTLE CLOSER ... NO, NOT THAT CLOSE, I FORGOT MY GAS MASK! ... AH, THAT'S BETTER. NOW THE SECRET ... THERE'S MORE TO THIS DEMO THAN MEETS THE EYE! PLUG YOUR SECOND STICK INTO THE MOUSEPORT. ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY? THEN I'LL BEGIN ... PRESS FIRE ON JOYSTICK WHEN I SAY GO!
GO ýOOPS, A BIT LATE. THIS IS RANX WRITING. THE VARIOUS ADDITIONS MADE TO THIS DEMO IN THE LAST FEW SECONDS ARE MANY. IN CASE YOU ARE A LITTLE BEWILDERED, I'LL EXPLAIN. THE SPRITES ABOVE FORM PART OF A CAT AND MOUSE TYPE GAME. DEPENDING ON WHO HAS SUPERIORITY, ONE PERSON CHASES THE OTHER PERSON UNTIL SOMEONE DIES, EITHER BY BEING CAUGHT OR HITTING ONE OF THE UNBELIEVABLY SAVAGE BLUE BALLS. WHEN ONE PLAYER IS KILLED, THE OTHER RECIEVES A POINT, WHICH IS REGISTERED ON THE PANEL BELOW. WHEN EITHER PLAYER'S SCORE REACHES 42 THE SCORES ARE RESET TO ZERO AND THAT PLAYER WINS. ALSO ON THE PANEL IS A TIMER (THE PUP-O-MATIC) WHICH DISPLAYS THE DURATION OF THE SUPERIORITY HELD BY THE PLAYER INDICATING IT; WHEN THE TIMER RUNS OUT, SUPERIORITY PASSES TO THE OTHER PLAYER. WHEN A PLAYER IS KILLED, OR A PLAYER WINS, AN APPROPRIATE SOUND IS HEARD IF SOUND EFFECTS ARE ON. THE SFX MAY BE ACTIVATED BY PRESSING %RETURN'. THE STATE OF THE SFX CAN BE SEEN IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT. WHEN SFX ARE OFF, CHANNEL 4 OF THE MUSIC IS ON. YOU CAN EXIT THIS DEMO/GAME BY PRESSING SPACEBAR! I KNOW YOU ARE JUST DYING TO KNOW WHO THE P.F IS, SO I'LL TELL YOU. I AM NOW IN A POSITION TO SAY THAT THE PUPPY FONDLER IS ... IS ... IS ... MARK EDWIN HEWIS ýWHO GUESSED THAT THEN? WELL DONE HEWIS! THIS DEMO'LL BAG YOU THE AWARD FOR PERVERTED ACTIVITIES TO GO WITH YOUR THREE CONSECUTIVE LOW INTELLIGENCE AWARDS. HEY, HEWIS, YA THICK NERD! I BET YOU THINK WE'RE A RIGHT BUNCH OF BASTARDS ... WELL WE ARE! TRY SAYING THIS: HE'S AN ASSHOLE ý WHO IS? ý YEAH, THAT'S HIM ý GET IT? TRY SAYING IT AGAIN, AND PRONOUNCE %IS' AS %ISS'. HERE'S ANOTHER: HEWIS: %DOCTOR DOCTOR I KEEP FUCKING PUPPIES!' DOCTOR: %DISGUSTING! HOW COULD YOU STOOP SO LOW?' HEWIS: %ERRM ... I DON'T - I PICK 'EM UP!' HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AND NOW NUKE WITH THE CREDITS ... (DO NOT GO TO SLEEP YA BUNCH OF BASTARDS!) ... CODE BY RANX ýGRAPHIC AND ANIMATION WORK BY NUKE ýSHITTY MUSIC TO FIRST PART BY MEGADETH ýAND CONTRIBUTED BY MATT. (WE HATE THRASH!!!) GOOD MUSIC TO THIS PART WRITTEN AND COMPOSED BY THE FUGITIVE ýSOUND EFFECTS WERE DIGITALLY RECORDED FROM GIZMO THE DOG AND HEWIS THE P.F. SFX WERE ARRANGED BY NUKE. NOTE THAT GIZMO IS NUKE'S DOG, AND IS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT THE PUPPY IN THIS DEMO. HEWIS HAS HIS OWN SUPPLIER ON THE PERVERTS' BLACK MARKET!!! THE %GOOD SHOW PUPPY' AND %BAD LUCK PUPPY' SOUNDS CONTRIBUTED BY MATT. (HELPFUL CHAP, ISN'T HE? SHOULD WE THANK HIM? YES, I THINK SO...) THANKS GO TO MATT ýFOR PUTTING UP WITH US FIRST TIME AROUND. I SUPPOSE YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT WE MEAN BY %FIRST TIME AROUND' TO TELL THE TRUTH, MATT WAS THE STAR IN THE FIRST VERSION OF THIS DEMO. NUFF SAID. THIS IS RANX BACK AGAIN. OF COURSE, THE SUBJECT PORTRAYED IN THIS DEMO IS RATHER SENSITIVE; THOSE OF YOU WHO FIND SUCH THINGS OFFENSIVE THEN I APOLOGISE. (THAT IS IF YOU AREN'T HEWIS!) THE THING IS, SOME FORM OF PATRONIZATION WAS NECESSARY; ANYONE WOULD DO THE SAME THINGS IF SOMEONE ANNOYED THEM AS MUCH AS I HAVE SEEN. WHAT MAKES THE PROBLEM WORSE IS THAT HEWIS IS IN ALL MY SETS IN COLLEGE EXCEPT CHEMISTRY. BAD? IT GETS WORSE ... I RECENTLY ACCEPTED THE OFFER TO DO PHYSICS AT MANCHESTER UNIVERSITY. GUESS WHO DID THE SAME? IS THERE NO WAY TO SHAKE THIS PRAT OFF? IF ANYONE'S GOT ANY IDEAS, PLEASE HELP. PHONE ME ON (0455) 616244. SENSIBLE IDEAS ONLY PLEASE ... THINGS WHICH INVOLVE VISIONS OF HEWIS RUNNING FROM THE BURNING WRECK OF HIS HOUSE WITH A FEW HEFTY SPEARS PROTRUDING FROM HIS BACK, ALTHOUGH ATTRACTIVE SHOULD BE DISCOURAGED DUE TO THE FACT THAT MY PHILOSOPHY PREVENTS MURDERING UNINTELLIGENT MORONS. BRIBERY SHOULD ALSO BE DISCOUNTED BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY WHATSOEVER. (HINT HINT!) WELL, THE CURRENTS OF TIME PREVENT ME FROM WRITING ANYMORE AND I MUST LEAVE YOU, TO TRAVEL FAR AND WIDE AMONG DISTANT WORLDS. THE MORAL TO THIS STORY ... REMEMBER ... P.F.2 COULD BE YOU! ýWANT ANOTHER SECRET? PRESS THE F10 KEY WHEN I SAY GO HAH! IF YOU FELL FOR THAT ONE YOU MUST BE STUPID! BYE! - CALL OUR BBS PARADISE ÿON þ +44 (0)905 429595 ý FOR ELITE MAIL TRADING WRITE TO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING MAIL TRADERS...... MARK 3 BROOKLAND ROAD, THAMES DITTON, SURREY, KT7 OET, ENGLAND OR.... ý JAZ 90 PURITON PARK, PURITON, BRIDGEWATER, SOMERSET, TA7 8BJ, ENGLAND OR.... ý BATFINK 61 ELMERE ROAD, SHERBURN-IN-ELMERE, NR. LEEDS, LS25 6EH OR CONTACT QUARTZ SWEDEN... LOMBARD, HALLAV 19, 43050 CALLERED, SWEDEN WE HERE THERE IS ANOTHER GROUP AROUND CALLED QUARTZ, WELL IF YA KNOW EM THEN TELL `EM TO CONTACT ONE OF OUR SWOPPERS, OR LEAVE A MESSAGE ON OUR BBS, WE ARE NOT IN ANYWAY CONNECTED TO THEM!!(I THINK THEY ARE FRENCH!), DID YA KNOW WE USED TO BE FLASHING BYTES U.K? O.K SEE YA LATER...........