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Leader Prod Presents:
READERS!  DREAM!  ISSUE!  ONE!
(November -92)

        Scene:                        Entertainment:



 1. Instructions              13. Iron Maiden Review
 2. Credits                   14. Napalm Death Review
                              15. Splatter movies
 3. News
 4. How to Get Rid of Lamers  16. Love-Story
 5. Critic                    17. Shopping info
 6. Too lazy gfx-wiz          18. Wanna be a cool guy?
 7. Assembly '92              19. Typical Australian life
 8. Competition of month      20. Stereo Tips
                              21. The Living Shit, School
 9. Advertisements1           22. Satanism
10. Advertisements2           23. Drink Tips
11. IFF-Advertisements        24. Story of KPT.Cynsy
12. About Issue #2
Sorry, not enough memory for music...          
Sorry, no more text...                         
Music ON                                       
Music OFF                                      



Drink Tips (by Loom)                          



  Drink tips of your who used little alcoholics...

     I bought last week friday one bottle of alcohol (hik) 
     bottle called M I N T T U . bottles behind are very cooool tips
     this like some ...  

ICEBREAKER

  1 part  Minttu   
  5 parts soda
          ice cubes
          stir well

SUICIDE

  1 part  minttu 
  1 part  pernod
          crushed ice
          stir well

WHITE OUT

  2 parts minttu
  1 part  cointreau
  1 part  crushed ice
          build up



FINNISH MINTTINI

  1 part  minttu
  1 part  gin
          dash of lemon
          ice cubes
          stir well



Hints and Instructions of Stereo (by Loom)    


   Hints and instructions of your stereo 


So,your stereo doesn't sound too good ...?
Here are some hints. See if they help you with the problem..

    - Don't put it next to an outside wall.
    - Make sure it is not close to a window or a radiator
    - Make sure the turntable is not on a soft base or very close to
      a speaker.
    - Don't put the speakers on the floor ,next to one another.
    - Don't clean your records with a hard cloth or use an old tooth brush
    - Clean your tape heads often enough.
    - Always record your favorite tracks at a high level - if you do this,
      they will sound much better.
    - When you use an unplayed casette,rewind it once first...



About Issue two (by Tim and Loom)                 

         About Readers Dream Issue #2:
         



-   See credits for addresses where to send french, germany, swedish, finish
  and english texts.
-   Picture size for IFF-advertisements is 640*210 (in 16 cols).

-   ASCII-adverts can be of any size (as long as they are less than 25 lines
  height),however we will place many small ads into one page if they fit in it.
-   Writing an article is a good way to bring up glory to the name of your team
-   ASCII-advert can also contain IFF-pics such as:


                    (An IFF-Logo)


             (with ASCII text, possibly
                printed over logo)



-   In some cases we might edit your adverts (like crime devil's ad, original
  took about 40K so we edited it to take mere 13K).
-   We might also change your IFF-ad to ASCII-ad(text part) with an IFF-logo
  (Operation above will change only font used in ad).
-   If we get too much material we might not present those advertisements that
  are far too big (plain text requires much less memory than IFF-advert).
-   Send ripped stories(books,NO others diskmags) and poems to our main editors.
-   Next issue will be released in December (after we have made one game, one
  pack and few intros).
-   If you want colours in your advert remind us:

THE!  WINNING!  TEAM!  
((In enlarged fonts 16*16)
       __       __
       \ \     / /                (Red logo)
        \ \   / / Is searching    (White text, expect 'CODERS')
         \ \_/ / for CODERS,      (Word 'CODERS' in yellow)
          \   / swappers
           \_/ and modem-traders  ('modem-traders' in blue)



-   We will colour your advert as we want, if you do not mention about it.
-   Animated fonts available:



-   If you have completed some game, you could write down some tips and send
  them to us. All tips are presented, as long as they are not the same.
  (Does anyone know what to do in SARIEN at Space Quest IV?)
-   We are trying to make our products work on different applications so please
  send us information on:
     * 68020 Compactibility (VRB, Stack register frame).
     * KickStart2.0
     * Enchanged Chips (List of custom regs would be fine).
     * DMA and CPU speeds in different amigas.
  Could someone make an article on things above, please.

Improvements in issue 2:
-   More random colours(stripes etc..).
-   Issue two will be in trackloader (trackloader would have been used with
  issue one, but since we have not enough material for a whole disk, we decided
  not to use it).
-   Will utilize whole disk, allowing better graphics, more articles and music.
-   Issue two will work on 512K amigas (do not know about 68020 or A600) so
	also lamers can read our mag.
-   Next issue will have more articles (depending on YOUR activity).
-   Better graphics (Please send us some gfx and we will put it into mag IF
  it is good enoug).



-   More music (We are lacking modules so send us some if you want to have
  your module in our mag. Also note that we may use it in our intros).
-   More competitions:
     * The Best ANSI-logo
     * The Best Article
     * The Most Beautiful IFF-advert
          And possibly some other competitions.
-   So user-friendly that even a lamer can learn to use mag in five minutes.

Bad things in issue 2:
-   Will contain 'LAMERS ONLY'- articles.
-   Will have many adverts send by lamers (Sorry elite guys, but it is hard to
  tell the differnce between a lamer-written ad and elite-written ad).
-   The trackloader.
-   Non multitasking code.
-   Might not work on 68020, KickStart V2.0 or with enchanged chips.
-   PAL only (just like issue one).
-   Issue two may not be sold by PD-companies without our permission.
-   Since we do not make out too much money, we cannot afford fees to editors.
-   We will not check for mistakes in adverts or articles, so there will be
    multipple typing mistokes in mag.
-   Cannot have more than 16 colours (hardware limit) at adverts.
-   Articles will be loaded from disk one at a time, so it will not be so easy
  to read articles.



-   Since we are using hires in four bitplanes, there cannot be many animated
  fonts on screen simultaneusly.

Special Thanks for issue one:
-  Athena                   The only Female writer
-  Einomies Porkkakoski     The best article
-  Oliver Schaper
   (The Electronic Knights) The best ANSI logo
-  Terminator & Joshua      The most exotic article
-  Tachtal/Fun Factory      You are sick, Dude!!


  Any comments on our mag??
 What is your opinnion on first issue??
   What can we do better??

Please send your comments to:
   Loom of Leader Prod
  Peltoniementie 27 c12
   73100 Lapinlahti
    Finland
Written by
Tim and Loom of Leader Prods



Advertisements2                                   



   ____________       ________   __   ____   _________________   _________
   \___________\     /\_______\ /\_\  \___\ /\________________\  \________\
    \__________ \   / / ____  // / /  /\  // / _______________ \  \_______ \
       __     /\ \ / / /    \// / /  / / // / /  __   __     /\ \ __     /\ \
      /\_\ __/ / /_\/ /      / / /__/ / // / /  /\_\ /\_\   / / //\_\   / / /
     / / //\_\/ //\_\ \_     \/  \__\/ // / /  / / // / /  / / // / /  / / /
    / / / \/ __// / ___/      \_____  // / /  / / // / /  / / // / /  / / /
   / / /__/\ \ / / /_____________/ / // / /__/ / // / /  / / // / /__/ / /
   \/  \__\/ / \/  \_____________\/ / \/  \__\/ / \/ /   \/ / \/  \__\/ /
    \_______/   \__________________/   \_______/   \/     \/   \_______/ _SD_

                          ... MORE THAN A GROUP ...

     ----> if you want to contact Mr.King of Beyond than write to <----

                           >   Joerg Goedden   <
                          >    Postfach 3143    <
                         > 4240 Emmerich / Elten <

     ----> please support my pack with your newest production,
     ----> and send me your advert for the advertpage



 G E N O C I D E 
     -  GREETZ TO: ADDONIC * LSD * QUARZ * NC
                             -  * EQUINOX * AMAZE * ELYSION * LEGEND
 MESSENGER OF GENOCIDE       -  * NEW WAVE * D.A.I * REALMS * REALITY
                             -  * QUADRIGA * DEVILS * STRANGE * GRACE
 ETELARANTAKATU 32 B 15      -  * DISKNET * STELLAR * REDNEX * PARAGON
                                * LIVE ACT * D-29 * MAJIC 12 * ZENITH
      94100 KEMI                * VIRTUAL DESIGNS * JOKER * DANGER
                             -  * SPACEBALLS * CALIBRA * SLIPSTREAM
       FINLAND               -  * CHROME * DESIRE * ALTAIR * REBELS
                             -  * DARK DEMON * CYTAX * ALCATRAZ
PS: ONLY ELITES!!!!          -  * STAGE * COMPLEX * PARALLAX * DIVINE
                             -  * KEFRENS * SILENTS AND ALL MEMBERS
CALL TO: 9698-21925 ( JARI ) -    FROM G E N O C I D E



        oOoO   oOoO  oOo  OoOo         -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
        OoOoO oOoOo oOoOo oOoOo        =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
        oO Oo Oo    Oo oO Oo oO
        Oo oO oOoO  oOoOo oO Oo           Are u searching 4 more contacts?
 OnLy   oO Oo Oo    Oo oO Oo oO   yLnO
 LeGaL  OoOoO oOoOo oO Oo oOoOo  LaGeL        Then try to this one...
 StuFF! oOoO   oOoO Oo oO OoOo  !FFutS
                                        _______________________________________
    ConTacT FoR FRiEnDsHiPsWaPPinG!
                                                   DARKY/EQUINOX
TuTCaSe/DeaDLiNe        ViSaGe/DeaDLiNe             METSONTIE 19
SaMi SaArNiO               AkI EhOnIeMi          37 680 VALKEAKOSKI
PuoLaHaRjU 24 C     VanHa SoTiLaSTiE 13               FINLAND
00930 HeLSiNki           00850 HeLSiNki _______________________________________
FiNeLanD                       FiNeLanD

 ScAnDi  oO    OoO  oOo   oOoO  iDnAcS    If u are a lamer or a looser or
 NaViAn  Oo    oOO oOoOo oOoOo  nAiVaN    something like that, send at least
 DuDeS!  oO    OoO OoOoO Oo     !SeDuD    3 disks!  (I like free diskettes)
         Oo    oOO oO Oo oOoO              If u are not, 1 disk & letter give
         oO    OoO Oo oO Oo               u an answer!
         OoOoO oOO oO Oo oOoOo
         oOoOo OoO Oo oO  oOoO          =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
                                        -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
######################################
#           CELTIC FROST             #
######################################      AWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWA
#   CONTACT NEW GROUP CELTIC FROST   #      W                               W
#      SWAPPING 4 LATEST STUFF!      #      E    Contact me for swapping    E
#                                    #      A    demos,games,modules and    A
#        STAR / CELTIC FROST         #      W    samples. No lamers!  my    W
#            ILVESKUJA 4             #      E          Adress is:           E
#        SF-45700 KUUSANKOSKI        #      A                               A
#              FINLAND               #      W       The STRANGLER/AWE       W
#                                    #      E       Hommedalskogen 59       E
#                                    #      A       N - 4890 GRIMSTAD       A
#        MIKEY / CELTIC FROST        #      W       N  O  R   W  A  Y       W
#         KOLARINTIE 24 AS.4         #      E                               E
#        SF-45720 KUUSANKOSKI        #      A    Also call our new BBS :    A
#              FINLAND               #      W                               W
#                                    #      E        BaNgkoK PaLacE         E
# DISK(S)=100% ANSWER! (NO LAMERS!)  #      A        +47 (06)907381         A
#       ALL LATEST STUFF SWAP.       #      W                               W
#        ALSO PERHAPS 4 SOME         #      EAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAWEAE
#       VHS-& MUSIC-TAPE SWAP?       #
######################################          *  We design the future *
           __     __        ___
 W        / /\   / /\     __\\ \     K
 E       / / /  / / /_   / /\/ /__   C
        / /  \ /_/ /\/\ /_/  ____/   U
 '     /_/    \\ \  / / \ \   \      S
 R     \_\/\  / \ \  /   \ \  /        *************************************
 E        \_\/   \_\/     \_\/       U **  Do you want cool contact ???   **
                                     O *  If answer is yes then write to   *
 T       THE ELECTRONIC KNIGHTS!     Y *  BEHOLDER/The  Fun Factory Prod.  *
 E                                     *         Pertti Lehtisaari         *
 K   CONTACT US FOR JOINING OR FOR   D *        Vuorenmaanrinne 34B        *
        LEGAL ELITE MAILTRADING      N *        SF-60220  Seinajoki        *
 A            ~~~~~                  A *             Finland               *
 N              MAC/TEK!               **                                 **
 D            P.O.BOX 1402           K *************************************
            D-6470 BUEDINGEN         E
 Y                                   T     Send your advertisiment to
 O             TOXIC/TEK
 U           PLK. 158181 E           E       Readers Dream
        D-2900 OLDENBURG (OLDB)      R       Jarvelantie 63
 S                                   '       Sf-60550 Nurmo
 U           RED KNIGHT/TEK                    Finland
 C           KLEWERGARTEN 7          E
 K        D-3000  HANNOVER 91        W



VIRTUAL DESIGN

Needs you > Especially coders

joining                swapping
-------                --------
       PATRICK RETTENMUND       ESKO TIAINEN
       CARABINIERS 9            SUOPURSUNTIE
       2504 BIENNE              56800 SIMPELE
       SWITZERLAND              FINLAND

short greez to: addonic-eoc1999-freestyle-scoopex-vixen-
                equinox-catastrophy-wizzcat...



                     THEN YOU NEED NEW LAME CONTACT

                                WRITE TO:
                         LOOM /LEADER PRODUCTIONS
                          PELTONIEMENTIE 27 C12
                              73100 LAPINLAHTI        SUPPORT OUR MAG.
                                  FINLAND

                          NO LAME STUFF = NO ANSWER
                                  funish can callarna
                          CALL 977-32906/JARNO



-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=     Are u searching 4 more contacts?
=      _                           -
-     (__ Y B E R D R E A M        =         Then try to this one...
=                                  -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=  _______________________________________
 CONTACT US FOR SWAPPING 'N JOINING
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=                 DARKY
METSONTIE 19
      CRACKBRAIN of CYBERDREAM                 37 680 VALKEAKOSKI
        Ajomiehenkatu 4 b 3                         FINLAND
           21200 Raisio               _______________________________________
             FINLAND.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=    If u are a lamer or a looser or
         No Loosers'n'Lamers            something like that, send at least
     ONLY TALENTED GUYS GET IN !        3 disks!  (I like free diskettes)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=     If u are not, 1 disk & letter give
u an answer!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



Instructions                                      



Using mouse (outside icons):
  LMB                 Previous page
  RMB                 Next page
  LMB+RMB             Index
Icons (Shortcut keys printed inside brackets):
  INDEX  (HELP)       Index page
  LEFT   (LF ARROW)   Prev page
  RIGHT  (RT ARROW)   Next page
  UP     (UP ARROW)   Prev topic
  DOWN   (DOWN ARROW) Next topic
  MUSIC               Hmm, I wonder what does this stand for



Advertisements1                                   



=====================================
=            C O N T A C T          =
=                                   =
=      L E A D E R    P R O D S.    =       CONTACT FOR ELITE SWAPPING
=                                   =
=                F O R              =             UNREAL HAWK
=                                   =             
=              E L I T E            =              SARKIKUJA 6
=                                   =
=   I L L E G A L  S W A P P I N G  =           73100 LAPINLAHTI
=                                   =
=           W R I T E  T O          =               FINLAND
=                                   =
=       PELTONIEMENTIE 27 C12       =         NO DISK(S) = NO MERCY
=         73100 LAPINLAHTI          =
=             FINLAND               =
=                                   =
=      ALSO COOL MOVIES SWAPPING    =
=             AND MUSICS            =
=         NO DISK = NO ASWER        =
=====================================
***************************************  =====================================
*                                     *
*       FOR SWAPPING THE LATEST       *        -=#> ANJOVIS SISTERS <#=-
*                                     *
*              CONTACT:               *   seeKs 4 tAlEnted MemBErS LikE cODERS
*                                     *  GrAfIcIanS MuSICIAnS EtC.
*      LOZENGE OF 5TH GENERATION      *   You CAN B A meMBeR oF an ANoTheR
*          PITKALANNIEMENT.25         *  GrOup 2! JuSt B KEr-AA-ZEE! JoIn now!
*            78500 VARKAUS            *
*               FUNLAND               *  Addy To SuCcESS:
*                                     *
*        AND NO FOCKEN LOOSER         *    ANJOVIS SISTERS WHQ
*           LAMERZ PLEEZ!!            *       c/o M. Kivela
*                                     *             Kivelantie  680
*      FAST GREEZ GO TO:              *           SF-69920  Oksakoski
*      AMAZE,AUTENTIC,DAMAGE INC.,    *                 FINLAND
*      DIGITAL ARTISTS INC.,EVIL      *
*      FORCES,EXILE,FALCONS,THE       *  ReMeMBer ThiS addy IS aLSo 4 somE
*      FAMILY,ORIGIN,REALMS,          *  toTally CRaZY SWAPPInG! SenD sOme
*      VISUAL BYTES... AND ALL        *  crAP tO get An aNsWEr! CiAO!
*      THE OTHERS I FORGOTTEN...      *
*                                     *  =====================================
***************************************



 ****************************************************************************
 ** ***                    Do you want to swap with female named           **
 *  * * ***                                ATHENA                           *
 *  ***  *  * *               If answer is yes  then write to               *
 *  * *  *  * * ***
 *  * *  *  *** *   *  *                  ATHENA                            *
 *       *  * * *** ** * ***         VUORENMAANRINNE  34B                   *
 *          * * *   **** * *         SF-60220 SEINAJOKI                     *
 *              *** * ** ***              FINLAND                           *
 *                  *  * * **
 **                      * ***
 ****************************************************************************
          ------------------      *****************************************
                CONTACT           **                                     **
           ------------------     *  _ Leader Productions kaipaa uusia    *
           G   R  I  M  M   Y     * jasenia Suomesta. Jos olet aktiivinen *
               SOLVEIEN 12        * cooderi,swapper,gfx  artisti,muusikko *
              4890 GRIMSTAD       *    tai jotain muuta niin kirjoita     *
                 NORWAY           *                                       *
           ------------------     *       Leader Productions              *
           100% = GRAPHICANS      *       Jarvelantie 63                  *
                                  *       60550 Nurmo                     *
                                  **                                     **
                                  *****************************************


**************************************
*        BYTE-BUSTERS HOLLAND        *
**************************************          ******* *** ****  *******
*  IS LOOKING FOR SOME COOL MEMBERS  *         ***  *** *** **** ***
*            INTERESTED??            *         ***  *** *** **** ***
*             WRITE  TO:             *         ******** ***  *** ******
**************************************         *** **** *** * ** ***
*      BYTE-BUSTERS HHQ (CUBIK)      *         *** **** *** * ** ***
*             PO. BOX 64             *         *** ****  ******   *******
*           8090 AB  WEZEP           *         ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
*              HOLLAND!              *          Contact me for swapping:
*      ALSO FOR ELITE! SWAPPING      *
**************************************             THE STRANGLER/AWE
*    SEND SOME OF YOUR WORKS TOO!    *             Hommedalskogen 59
**************************************             N - 4890 GRIMSTAD
*   FOR LEGAL OR ILLEGAL SWAPPING:   *             N  O  R   W  A  Y
*                                    *
*        DISKMAN/BYTE BUSTERS        *                NO LAMERS !
*             PO. BOX 64             *
*           8090 AB  WEZEP           *
*              HOLLAND!              *
*       (NO DISK = NO ANSWER!)       *
**************************************



/////////////////////////////////////
    ...FOR SUM ACE MAILTRADING...

       PainMaster/Crime Devils               For cool mail swapping contact
            Emmavagen 6F
          SF-65610 Smedsby                               Citizen
              Finland                          Groosevn. 246
                                                     N-4890 Grimstad
         >>> NO LAMERS <<<                               Norway

          -Quick Regards-                 Greetz to all my contacts and friends

 -ADDONIC-ALPHA FLIGHT-MAJIC 12-LSD-                100% to cool dudes.
  -DEVILS-COMPLEX-CHROME-ARISE-DAI-       No lamers and beginners.
    -BYTEBUSTERS-ATOMIC-ANTHROX-
  -GRACE-DEATH DEFIERS-ACUME-TECH-
  -FRANTIC-BRONX-LIVE ACT-SUCCESS-
  -SOC.BRIGADE-DELIGHT-SLIPSTREAM-
    -CURACY-NOVA-DAMAGE-LUNATICS-
      -DARK STAR-CAPITAL-DAZZLE-
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\



 G R I M M Y 



       SEEKS A GROUP.
       DO U WANT A
       GOOD GRAPHICAN
       TO JOIN YOUR GROUP?              WANNA SWAP LATEST STUFF??? YES!!!

       SOLVEIEN 12                           THEN WRITE TO:
       4890 GRIMSTAD                           SARKIKUJA 6
       NORWAY                                73100 LAPINLAHTI
                                               FINLAND
       GREETZ:
       ARCHIEBALD/ABSOLUTE                 WRITE TODAY DON'T DELAY
       ECHO/PARAGON,SPUTNIK/              PS. ONLY ELITE
       DEFIANCE,VON BUBBLE/
       LIQUID,CREEP/INTENSE             NO DISK(S) = NO A N S W E R !!
       ETC.ETC

       ALSO FOR SWAPPING!!!



     /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
    |               LiVe AcT - JuSt WaIt FoR aN aPoCaLyPsE               |
     \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
     /      For cool FrIeNdShIp and for the latest stuff,write to:      \
    /                                                                    \
    \                      FrEsH-KiD iCe(ex-Mr.Cool):                    /
    /                           Kai Kotobridza                           \
    \                        Veturitallintie 6c21                        /
    /                        SF-02400 K:Nummi City                       \
    \                              fInLaNdIa                             /
    /                                 or                                 \
    \   For a cool music-talk and latest/module/sample/Friendship-swap:  /
    /                                                                    \
    \                         eViL-E(ex-RaStAmAn):                       /
    /                           Timo Laulajainen                         \
    \                            Wiikintie 1A8                           /
    /                          (same as above!!!)                        \
    \                                                                    /
     \     Shorties from eViL-E to: Fozzie/bLaCk RoBeS,Greg/aLcAtRaZ    /
     /  Filippetto/VeGa,Inde/RiCh,Lozenge/5th generation,Comajim/OfFeNcE\
     \   Gamma/SoNiC,Saracen/DaMaGe,Goozer/DiSkNeT,Vyrzel/GrAcE,Shogun, /
      \                Beholder/tFfP & Meegosh/ReBeLs!!!               /
       \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
****************************** P A R A L Y S I S ******************************
******
**      Hey you! JUST you!!   A new group is born. So, we are searching      **
*      for new contacts and members (especially coders and modem traders)     *
**
*                    Write to one of these addresses now!!                    *
**
P                      -  for swapping and membership  -                      P
AA
R           SUHU/PARALYSIS                      DALE/PARALYSIS                R
A           RUSTHOLLINK. 7 C 21                 RAKENTAJANT. 6 A 35           A
L           08200 LOHJA                         15870 HOLLOLA                 L
Y           FINLAND                             FINLAND                       Y
SS
I           for swapping:                       for music swapping:           I
S                                                                             S
*           DODIOUS/PARALYSIS                   ICEBASS/PARALYSIS             *
*           LAMMASKALLIONK. 6                   RUSTHOLLINK. 7 D 26           *
*           18150 HEINOLA                       08200 LOHJA                   *
*           FINLAND                             FINLAND                       *
**
**            LaMeRs CaN WrItE iF tHeY wAnNa LoSe ThEiR dIsKeTs !            **
******
****************************** P A R A L Y S I S ******************************



**************************************
*                                    *   -----------------------------------
*     For swapping  latest stuff     *  -------------------------------------
*     contact me at this address     * ---------------------------------------
*                                    *
**************************************
*                                    *   If U need new contacts for swapping
*    The Swedish Eagle of Sublime    *
*            Flisbacken 1            *          then try this one !
*         S-19151 Sollentuna         *
*               Sweden               *         The D.J. of Paralysis
*                                    *            Rinteelantie 12
*          Ps. Only Elite            *           58900 Rantasalmi
*                                    *               Finland
**************************************
                                         1-3 disk(s) + letter = 100% answer
     Send your advertisiment to

         Readers Dream                 ---------------------------------------
         Jarvelantie 63                 -------------------------------------
         Sf-60550 Nurmo                  -----------------------------------
           Finland



XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX                                 XXX   +__________________________________+
XXX    For swapping with Talents    XXX    \                                /
XXX                                 XXX     \        RED KNIGHT OF         /
XXX            write to:            XXX      \                            /
XXX                                 XXX       \::::::::: ::::::: ::: ::: /
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX         :  :::  : :::   : :::::  /
XXX                                 XXX         \ :::    :::::   ::::::/
XXX                                 XXX          \:::    ::::::: ::: :::
XXX   C L A U D I / T A L E N T S   XXX           \                  /
XXX                                 XXX        - THE ELECTRONIC KNIGHTS -
XXX     K O R V E N K . 4 5 A 1     XXX             \              /
XXX                                 XXX              OLIVER SCHAPER
XXX    1 8 1 5 0   H E I N O L A    XXX              KLEWERGARTEN 7
XXX                                 XXX            D-3000 HANNOVER 91
XXX          F I N L A N D          XXX              UNITED-GERMANY
XXX                                 XXX                  \   /
XXX                                 XXX     ONLY FOR LEGAL ELITE MAILTRADING
 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX            ON 3.5 OR 5.25 DISX
XXX                                 XXX                   \ /
XXX         Only lamers!!!          XXX                    V
XXX                                 XXX                    !
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX                    :




   **************************************************************************
   ****
   *      Contact Admiral/Leader Productins*
   *  for swapping your own productions,demos,intros...almost everything    *
   *   expect illegal wares. I am not swappermachine so you can send as     *
   * old/new stuff as you have. Just send your letter+disk to this address. *
   **
   *     Admiral/Leader Productions                                         *
   *       Jarvelantie 63                            EVERYBODY GET ANSWER   *
   *       60550 Nurmo*
   *       Finland                                 LONG LETTERS   *         *
   **
   *          or call:964/4176646-timo                   FRIENDSHIP RULEZ   *
   ****
   **************************************************************************



     ____               ____                         _
     \   \             /   /                        / \
      \   \           /   /|                       I\_/I
       \   \         /   / ! Contact ROTOX:        I   I
        \   \       /   /  :  Kehakuja 13          I   I
         \.for victory./   .  73100 Lapinlahti     I   I
         |\   \   /   /       Funland           __ I   I __
         ! \   \_/   /                       __/  \I   I/  \    __
         .  \       /  Contact OLONEUVOS:   /  I   I   I    I  // \
             \     /!   Peltoniemt. 27 c12 I   I   I   I    I / \_/
              \   / :   73100 Lapinlahti   I   I   I   I    I/   /
               \_/      fittuland          I                /   /
                I                          I   .for lamers.    /
                !                          I
                :
                .
Love Story (by CrackBrain)                        



LOVE STORY (LOVE?)
--------------------

This is a little part from Crackbrain's  brand new love-book . Written by
Crackbrain of Cyberdream . (Blah,Blah!)

SECTION 3 , UNIT 2

I , Fuckdog , will never forget the first time when I was in bed with girl.
Everything went like this:
   We was agree to meet at six (sex?) a'clock in Cafe-Restaurant in Raisio
City .  Clock was five a'clock when I went to shover and fuck myself . I 
jerk off like a beast and when my sperm fly out in my dick I scream . I was
in panic , because my dick was so fucking big and red (like a FIREMAN!) .
I was my dick and then I got dressed up ! I put my finest clothes on and
I used some bad smelling perfume , too . And then my clock was calling , 
because I have Coded It to ring at 17.30 . Then I knew when I had to leave my
place . 
   I went to the place we agreed on . My girl was waiting for me and she smi-
led when I looked her beatiful faces . I thought she was look like a cow . 
That was my girl ! I had admired cows , when I was young . My mother bought
me one , but when I got tired to that cow , I put my dick in cow's ass and
fuck that cow like a man . I thought that it gonna get pregnant and that it
maybe get some children , but that cow died , because it was a man and my 
sperm was so fucking filthy ... So , we started to spoke somethings about my



past . We talked about five minutes and then I got some strange feelings .
I wanted to fuck that girl ! I voted that we can go to my place and get some
nice guckings . Girl was flattery ! So , we went to my place and ...

That was only a little part of my great book ! Contact me if you want to read
that all !

Sorry of those few not-so-english mistakes...I'm Finns and you know that we
are not an english speaking people ! So...

For Swapping And Joining:

CRACKBRAIN of CYBERDREAM
Ajomiehenkatu 4 b 3
21200 Raisio
FINLAND.

ONLY TALENTED GUYS GET IN!
No loosers'n'lamers!



Living Shit, School (by CyberDream)               



The living shit , SCHOOL !

I think you all know that fucking hell , that somebody calls School ! And know
I gonna tell you some true things about school . ( SCIENTIFIC TESTED !!! )

Here I give you some facts about this hell : 
1. If you work hard at school , you will sooner or later cauterize your brains
   off ! So don't work so hard if you gonna live long ...
2. If you teachers fuck around you , get knife ( for example from HOBBY HALL )
   and kill those fucking bastards ...
3. If somethink at school start to really pissed you off , then take some    
   vacation ( Hi Admiral ! ) and go to home ...
4. If food of school started to taste like SHIT , then take potato and throw
   it to wall ! If one teacher come to gripe about it , then take your HOBBY
   HALL-knife and use it ! But if there is more teacher take you machinegun
   and let it BANG ...
5. If you really Pissed off then take dynamite and ...

So , if you are school 'lover' then take contact to me , and send some cool
Stuff to me . ( Like SEX,GUNS,TECHNO,CANDIES,EVERYTHING ) I think my address
is somewhere here ! Check out the advertisement !

SIGNED : Crackbrain /
Cyberdream



The Nine Satanic Statements (by Darky)            



THE NINE SATANIC STATEMENTS
---------------------------

  Ok, here ya get something very interesting or not so interesting 
reading. It's tell you all nine Satan's statements. So, let's start...

 1. SATAN REPRESENTS INDULGENCE, INSTEAD OF ABSTINENCE!
 2. SATAN REPRESENTS VITAL EXISTENCE, INSTEAD OF SPIRITUAL PIPE DREAMS!
 3. SATAN REPRESENTS UNDEFILED WISDOM, INSTEAD OF HYPOCRITICAL SELF-DECEIT!
 4. SATAN REPRESENTS KINDNESS TO THOSE WHO DESERVE IT, INSTEAD OF LOVE WASTED
    ON INGRATES!
 5. SATAN REPRESENTS VENGEANCE, INSTEAD OF TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK!
 6. SATAN REPRESENTS RESPONSIBILITY FOR PSYCHIC VAMPIRES!
 7. SATAN REPRESENTS MAN AS JUST ANOTHER ANIMAL, SOMETIMES BETTER, MORE OFTEN
    WORSE THAN THOSE, THAT WALK ON ALL-FOURS, WHO 'BECAUSE OF HIS DIVINE
    SPIRITUAL AND INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT    ANIMAL OF ALL!
 8. SATAN REPRESENTS ALL OF THE SO-CALLED SINS, AS THEY ALL LEAD TO PHYSICAL,
    MENTAL, OR EMOTIONAL GRATIFICATION!
 9. SATAN HAS BEEN THE BEST FRIEND, THE CHURCH HAS EVER HAD, AS HE HAS KEPT 
    IN BUSINESS ALL THESE YEARS!
by: Darky/Equinox


Iron Maiden Review (by Grimmy&Strangler)          



Music review.

First of all, if you are a techno/rave fan, and just hate that
heavy metal music, then stop reading this right now !

This article is a review of the newest album from IRON MAIDEN.
The album is named FEAR OF THE DARK, and is released some
months ago. On the album there is these tunes:

- Be quick or be dead         - From here to eternity
- Afraid to shoot strangers   - Fear is the key
- Chillhoods end              - Wasting love
- The fugitive                - Chains of misery
- The apparition              - Judas be my guide
- Weekend warrior             - Fear of the dark

All the tunes are typical Maiden style,and they are very good!

Rating:

 COVER  : 95 %
 MUSIC  : 98 %
 TEXTS  : 90 %
 OVERALL: 95 %
The very best tunes on the album must be : 

- Be quick or be dead
- From here to eternity
- Wasting love
- Weekend Warrior
- Fear of the dark

The other tunes are extremly good to, but we prefer these
tunes. We spesialy like the guitar solos,and the very good 
voice of Bruce Dickinson.

The IRON MAIDEN is:

Bruce Dickinson - Vocals
Dave Murray     - Guitar
Janick Gers     - Guitar
Steve Harris    - Bass
Nico McBrain    - Drums

Personaly we think this is the second best album Maiden have
released. The best is ofcourse THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST.

                     UP THE IRONS !

Written by: Grimmy/Independent & The Strangler/Awe !



How to Get Rid of Lamers (by Terminator)          



HOW TO GET RID OF LAMERS

Man has made several attempts to get rid of lamers.For instance man had 
invented virus's such as 'Lamer exterminator'.There is always some way to
get rid of lamers.But before you attempt to get rid of lamers,you must be 
sure to know them.Becuase lamers are such a failure,they really know shit.
Heres how you can tell if your friend is a LAMER.:-
(A) They dont except demos,utilities,only games.
(B) The only part of the keyboard used when not playing games is CTRL A A.
(C) Most lamers dont know what processor their Amiga has.
(D) Most lamers dont know what to do if their disk b'come infected by virus.
(E) They dont know how to get contacts.
(F) They dont know what a bootblock is.
(G) They dont know how to turn off extra memory.

Well i know that is a short list,but at least you can identify the lamers.
Now,once you know the lamer, the first attempt to get rid of the lamer is to
give him a latest game (With lamer exterminator virus)..If the lamer asks why
you are giving him the game, just tell him that the game doesnt work on your
computer!
Now,becuase the disk is infected by the virus,make sure that every disk
inserted in the drive is 'unprotected'.The virus will do the main job! 
However,if the lamer asks why you unprotected the disk,use an excuse such as,
the game has saving features,or it wont load,etc..
Ok,so most of the lamers disk has a 'Checksome value'? Be honest and tell him
that his disks probably got infected by a virus.So,you should tell him that
you have the best virus killers,and instead give him a old virus killer.Such
as LINK VIRUS KILLER,etc.The virus killer shouldnt detect the (latest) virus.
If the virus killer says that the disk has a 'unknown bootblock',just tell 
the lamer that the disk contains an intro,and so the virus killer cannot 
distingush the intro,etc.
Well now,you have half his disks destroyed! What can he do? well,most likely,
the lamer will copy over the infected disk,but dont forget that the virus
will still spread on 'Dos disks',which are pretty hard to detect..HeHe.

But in most cases involving lamers,some can detect virus's..However not file-
virus's! I recommend that you use SADDAM FILE virus...This will corrupt the
disk as you may know! 99% of lamers will not detect this virus,not only
becuase its a file-virus,but also because most lamers dont have a Saddam 
virus killer! A simple fact!

Well,even if a lamer gets past the virus,it doesnt mean that you have failed
to attempt to get rid of him! Afterall,if you know the lamer,he will suspect
that you are his friend! So why not make good use out of him? I'm so sure 
that you'll save heaps of money! For instance you can 'borrow' some disks off
the lamer (Free disks),or you can use his mail-box for illegal wares...There
are so many things you can do with a lamer! Or if this lamer has a modem,
wouldnt it be lovely to make all those FREE calls?? Just imagine! You can 
also save on your electricity bill too!



But in the end,who would want to risk your reputation with a lamer? I'm sure
i wouldnt! So to end the so called 'Friendship' just pull out some hardware
while the computer is on! This should 'short circuit' the board,causing the
screen to go 'berzerk'.If the lamer asks what happened,tell him that the game
crashed,and the screen wont come on! Tell him to switch off the power and 
wait! The screen might come on,but depending on what hardare you pulled out,
it'll be damaged! So imagine if the lamer had 3 disk-drives!!

Well i know i wouldnt want to damage someone elses hardware/computer,who can
be so cruel??? And i also know that man will never get rid of lamers,but at
least one by one,maybe someday lamerism will come to an end..But until that
time comes,keep on terminating?HeHe 

Terminator/Realm



Critic (by Beholder)                              



CRITIC! 

Have you heard about Finnish phone-service named 
PELILINJAT(COM 2001 Oy)or something like that ?
(Their phonenumber is 9700-4556.)
They promised to send you a FREE game with BIG box.
They also said that the game's price is normally
about 200-300 FIM and you will get it FAST.
I believe them and I order a game from COM 2001 Oy.
I wait for a MONTH(is that fast?).Today i got it.
When I open the packet i saw a SMALL box.
I insert the disk to my diskdrive(Guess what then
happened.).The game wouldn't work.And when I look
the manual(it was LITTLE paper.) I nearly got 
heartattack.The manual is made to C64 and AMSTRAD.
And the game was made on 1988.Guess what the game's
price was.It was 245 FIM !!!(Cheating?)

				Beholder/Diffusion



Wanna be a cool guy? (by Tachal)                  
Do you want to have the reputation of a cool guy?
-------------------------------------------------
written by Tachtal/Fun Factory



Well, everywhere in the diskmags you see some adverts where a dude/dudette
wants to swap cool, or with a cool guy/gal. If you don't consider yourself
as a cool being, try to follow these guidelines to success:


 1) On the last day on spring in school, insert a herring or some other
    fresh underwater-liver into your locker. It mighty fun then in the
    autumn.

 2) Go to the Kauppatori in Helsinki and show your testicles.

 3) When travelling on a car, put your face to the window. All the kids
    in the bypassing cars will now have something to think about when there
    is a weird dude in the car next to theirs.
 4) Kick the anal of your worst enemy.

 5) Go have a visit in the old people's home and tap those fragile grannys
    to their shoulders (gently, heh heh).

 6) When you are having religion in school, stand on your chair and say to
    your teacher, that you want to lick her cunt. 

 7) Fill twenty plastic bags with water a bury them into a playground's
    sandbox. Then get up early in the morning to watch children play.

 8) After the sports class in school, in the shower, piss on someone else's
    legs.

 9) When a lesson in school is about to start, find your way into a crowd
    of pupils and shout: Shhh! SHHHH!    When everyone is staring their 
    eyes off at you, tell them to go fuck themselves, it isn't nice to stare
    at people.

10) Fuck your girlie with slow, but determined strokes. When she is about to
    have her orgasm, go away.



11) Have analsex to your girlie, even if she has tell you not to do it when
    she's shitting.

12) When you are having dinner with your girlfriends/wifes parents, take 
    her sister from behind, then take her mother from behind, father from
    behind, and the dog from behind.

13) Woops!


If you follow these instructions, I am quite sure that you will be called
a cool guy among your friends. They might call you pervert, but then again,
any publicity is good publicity or what? 

-Tachtal



Typical Australian Live (by Terminator&Joshua)    



                          A TYPICAL AUSTRALIAN LIFE

Everyone has heard of Australia! But just how many people have heard of the 
lifestyle of an typical Australian? And by the term typical Australians i 
dont mean families from an European background like ours! I really mean pure
Australians such as those who had their parents born in Australia!
        Well,let me start by telling you that their are good Australians as 
well as bad Australians,just like any country in the world! But i wont tell
you about the good Australians since its so boring! Anyway,as far as i know 
the Bad Australians, and the poor Australians usually reside in a suburb 
called BROADMEADOWS.In this suburb,its just like CENTRAL PARK in America! At
night there would be gangs hanging-out on trains,drunken attacks,rape,or
simply a domestic dispute,etc,etc..Pretty bad i guess!
        But apart from the violents in Broadmeadows,lets look at their living
conditions..Most of the people in Broadmeadows come from poor or violent
backgrounds.The main reason why they choose to stay in Broadmeadows is 
because housing is extremely cheap! Most of the houses in Broadmeadows are
supplied by the government,these are called 'Commission Houses'.They are 
usually given out to people/families who want to start a new life,or for
those who simply are in need of shelter!
        Anyway,if your wondering what the houses look like,i can try to build
a picture in your mind.Firstly,the houses are build on a large block of land.
The actual house itself is a small single story with 2 Bedrooms,with a small 
kitchen,and possibly an outdoor toliet! And of course they have other small 

rooms such as a lounge room,etc.And by the way the commission houses are 
built with cement,not bricks!
        But despite the commission houses being built on a large block of 
land,many Australians dont make the exceptional use out of the land..They
dont have a garden,or a garage,only a tiny shed which is big enough to fit a
lawn-mower! And do you think they make good use out of the lawn-mower? Nope!
They let the grass grow about a meter before attempting to cut it!
        And since this suburb is Broadmeadows,most Australians dont work! 
They are simply known as 'Dole Bludgers'.What happens here,is that they dont
go to work,or try to find work,they simply let the government pay their
income of about $230 every fortnight! This may not be enough to live with,
especially that you have to pay other expenses such as 'Telephone Bills',etc.
However,most dole bludgers are married,or live with their girlfriends,etc.So
they usually lie to the CES saying that they are single,so they end up
doubling thier income of about $460.Still its not enough in most cases,so 
some people find a part-time job,so while their on the dole,they get paid
even more money by having the dole,and the part-time job! Or course they dont
tell their employer that they are on the dole! HeHe!
        Australians have also found a way of beating the system by getting
their wife or girlfriends pregnant! Here,they have about 3 children,and then
try to get thier daughters pregnant! Of course this means even more money for
them,because they now have plenty of children to support! So now not only do 
the couples earn money on the dole,or part-time work,but even in the 'Child-
Support Benefit'.Its quite sad isnt it? The children have to be brought up



in a bad suburb,with bad education.So, ofcourse the children usually grow-up
and follow thier parents way,etc.They are the ones who increase the crime
rate,they are the innocent ones who where brought up not becuase of love,but
for money!
        And what about marriage? I never been to a wedding in Broadmeadows,
but i have come close! You see, my cousin married an Australian 'lady'who  
who has around Eight kids,now Nine! The reason she has so many kids is 
becuase she had married Five times! And i got to tell you the truth,that the
wedding was the worst wedding i have ever seen in my life! No,sorry i never 
went to the actual wedding,but i did go to the reception..Now that was bad! 
        Firstly,since we Europeans dress in class at weddings,i came dressed
in very neat formal clothing becuase of the hot weather.In total i had to pay
around $200 on clothing just fot that stupid reception!!! I had to wear 
shoes(I hate shoes),pleated pants,shirt,and a Tie (I hate ties),etc..Can you
imagine what the Australians wore at the reception?? Well,i'll tell you this,
one guy came with a singlet,and thongs!!!! Other Australians came with in
track-suit (cheap no-name brand),as well as T-shirts with beer-cans printed
on them!!! What the Hell....It was so embarassing for me and family,and 
relatives! But it was especially embarassing for me,because my friends told
me about what to expect at an Australian wedding/reception!!
        Anyway,the food was also cheap shit! I didnt manage to eat it or 
look at it,becuase i left the scene and went to McDonalds (Lucky my dad 
brought some money!)...While i was at McDonalds i met some Asians guys,so we
went down to a local arcade! The rest was history!!



        Well,i know that alot of people will find this offensive or disrupt-
ive,but the fact is its all true! Infact,most countries have bad places,so
i guess what i written is nothing new..Anyway for the last couple of years
the Broadmeadows council has attempted to fix the image of the suburb...They
have tried building a nice railway station,but it only lasted around 2 months
before it became vandilised!!! Speaking of vandilism,i recently saw a house
covered in spraypaint! I cant really remember what it said but it had some-
thing like this 'VANDEL STRIKES AGAIN.....'.I cannot remember the last few
words...... 
Terminator & Joshua



Credits                                       



Writen by Admiral/Leader Prods

 Credits to Readers Dream issue #1:
CODE!  TIM!


GFX!    LOOM!


TUNE!  THE!  STRANGLER!
B/AWE

 Main editors:
               Readers Dream                 Readers Dream              
               Loom/Leader Productions       Admiral/Leader Productions
               Peltoniementie 27 c12         Jarvelantie 63
               Sf-73100 Lapinlahti           sf-60550 Nurmo 
               Finland                       Finland
Norway reporters:
Readers Dream
Grimmy/Independent and The Strangler/Awe
Solveien 12
N-4890 Grimstad
Norway
Germany reporter:
Readers Dream
Red Knight/The Electronic Knight
Klewergarten 7
D-3000 Hannover 91
United-Germany



 If you live in Norway or Germany then you can send articles,news,comics
 advertisiments...etc to our reporters in those countries. If you live 
 on some other country you send your support to Loom or Admiral.
 We are also searching reporters from other countries. If you are interested 
 the write to Admiral.Next we would like thanks to following persons:

     Our article writers in Finland:
Beholder/Diffusion
Commander Z/The Fun Factory Produtions
Dr.Blitz/The Fun Factory Productions
ZeroLine/Zenith
Tachtal/Deadline
Darky/Equinox
In Australia:
Terminator
Joshua
In Norway:
The Strangler/Awe
Grimmy

 We would like to thanks all our supporters in whole world. I hope that we 
 meet also in our next issue nro #2. See ya! 



Story of KPT.Cynsy (by Dr.BlitZ&cmdr Z)       




   The story of KPT.CYNSY 

Once upon a time, kapitain Cynsy was a happy kid who owned an Amiga.He had many
games and his friends had also. But then..Cynsy started to drink! First he just
went to the city with some other guys, boozed and had fun. Then he ran out of
money. What did our Kpt.Cynsy did then? Well...he sold his Amiga! And now he
had again money to booze all night long! 
   But then something happened...the other friends started to code! And our KPT
was a bit talented in making graphics. Of coz the coders found this out, and 
forced our little Kpt.Cynsy to draw them some logos, fonts and pictures. But
KPT was unable. His gfx were lame. So, the coders started to whip him. And they
also cut him with a knife! It worked! Soon they were able to utilize Cynsy's
logos, cos they weren't that bad anymore!
   Now kapitain Cynsy wants to buy a new Amiga. But all his money goes to booze.
The coders try to stop him, but they can't! Of course, our coders would NEVER
even think about boozing! But kpt.Cynsy thinks it very often. Every weekend,
three times in a week. I bet he now uses drugs and all that kind of stuff. One
day he was so drunk, that he claimed to be a skinhead! This scared one of the
coder's contact.
   Well, we don't know what happens to our Kapitain Cynsy now. Maybe we should
do something..I know he is boozing right now somewhere! Someone, DO SOMETHING!

  Signed   

       Dr.Blitz and Cmdr Z of Realms.

HUOM! All persons in this story are not fictional. All similiarities are
absolutely true. We are sorry, if someone feels hurt because of this text.



Shopping Information (by Loom)                



Shopping information

   Supermarkets selling food and other goods.

   Sweetshop.also sell tobacco and some basic foodstuffs,like milk and bread.

   This is sub-post office,so it is more like alittle shop.
   Besides the usual things,it also sells paper,cards,etc.
   mainly newspapers and magazines but also sweet,tobacco and paper.

   Cooked food to take home.this means the tradition 'fish and chips'
   and also other kinds of 'take-away' food.

   Mainly for women,but they also cut men's hair as there is no barber in the
   village.

   Not only medicines but also cosmetics,alcohol,films,etc.

   Mainly for drinking but you can also eat in many of them nowadays.
   If you are between 16 and 18,you can go into a pub but you cannot buy
   alcoholic drinks until you are 18. 



Gfx Slavery (by cmdr Z)                       



          Too lazy GFX-artists ??
          -----------------------



Are you a coder? Have you ever faced a problem like this: you don't have logos,
fonts or  other kind of gfx, but your best friend can make nice gfx, but he
doesn't want to draw them. Then we got an answer to your problem. You should
find at least one of these things: a belt, a knife or something like that.When
your friend is coming to visit you, load DPAINT or some else program and take
out one of those special tools. Now force your friend to draw! If he refuses
then whip him/her with the belt or stab him/her with the knife. Now he/she
can't refuse and he/she will draw something. If gfx looks ugly you should do
more whipping and if he/she stops drawing for a moment, don't hesitate to use
those tools. And now you have always several logos etc. ready. This method was
tested our KAPU (Kpt.Cynsy) and it worked wery well. And this thing probably
works with musicians and all other artists.

This true story was written by Cmdr Z of Tffp.



Competition (by Loom)                         



                      Virukset Aisoihin Ehkaisemalla 


    Virukset,nuo tietokonemaailman talla hetkella akuuteimmat uhkatekijat,
    ovat saaneet suurimmatkin ohjelmatalot varpailleen.Pattentti varmaa
    hoitokeinoa virus uhan turjumiseksi ei miljoonista dollareista huolimatta
    ole saatu kehitettya.
    Tehokkain tietokeneojelmien puhtaanapito tekniikka on edelleenkin
    ennaltaehkaisy. Markkinoilla on useita eri mahdollisuukksia ennalta ehkai-
    syyn.


 Floppykondomi:

       Floppykondomin tarjoama virustorjunta turva on kaytannossa 100%.
       kondomia on muistettava kayttaa koko kopiomistoimituksen ajan sita
       ei saa poistaa levykeen paalta kesken toimituksen!



 Rytmitystekniikka:

       Moni vanhemman polven tietokonekayttaja luottaa yha rytmitystekniik-
       kaan. Eli han kopio tiedostoja tietokoneeseen vain ns.varmoina paivi-
       na. Tarkan paivienlaskun ym. takia tekniikka on hankala ja
       epaluotetta.





    ps.(tama pikku juttu ripattu yhdesta suomalaisesta huumori lehdesta
        kuka arvaa mista lehdesta on kysymys niin voi heittaa kirjeen

             loom/leader prod.
              peltoniementie 27 c12
               73100 lapinlahti

                 pikku palkinto sille joka tietaa tai arvaa.)



Assembly '92 (by Einomies Porkkakoski)        



 ASSEMBLY'92 PARTY-REPORT


 Assembly'92 was meant to be the biggest and finest organized party in
 Finnish history. It was the biggest, but definetly not the finest. All
 things in organization that could go wrong, did it.

 I started my party-trip at 6am on friday morning. After some sleepy
 hours in train I reached the railway-station of Kauniainen. From there
 I had a painful walk with all my heavy equiment. Rebels said in their
 invitations that there will be lots of signs to guide towards party-
 place, but some nasty guys have turned 'em to show everywhere.

 I reached the party-place at 10am. Just in time I tought. The party was
 supposed to start at 10am. But what? There was a HUGE line at the front
 of the door and a sign saying:

 PARTY WILL BE OPENED AT 11am DUE SOME TECNICAL PROBLEMS!

 Really good start for party of the century! I went to nearest shop to
 buy some beer.
 Next fun thing was the lining. I had to sit TWO FUCKING HOURS at the
 line. It even moved sometimes couple of centimeters towards the doors.
 Bloody great. Some guys were even drinking beer while lining. Nice. But
 I really can't stand how Rebels could waste two hours with registering
 30-40 people in their computers.

 Finally I got in and I bought the promised 'cool Assembly t-shirt' with
 the price of 50mk! Okay, the picture printed in back of shirt was really
 nice but in front there was a commerical of really lousy Rebels board
 reading: 'Or was it all just WASTED TIME? '.

 I travelled around the party-place and looked how all lamers had already
 started x-copying and playing Pinball Dream etc. I throwed my stuff in
 one room and headed towards the downtown of Kauniainen to buy some booze.

 The alcohol shop was really well hidden. I searched it about one hour
 until I found a nice grandma who told where the fucking shop was.

 When I came back to party-place I saw that there was some problems with
 drunken guys. Meegosh/Rebels throwed some boozers out but after a second
 they came back again. I got a bit hungry and ordered a pizza through
 the cafeteria of the party-place. It just took ONE HOUR to get that
 pizza!
 It was about 6pm when the promised trip to beach-party was supposed to
 be arranged. Lots of guys were waiting with their full bags of beer. It
 was said that Sonic will arrange the bus-trip. But when the bus came,
 it just passed by the school without even slowing down! This I could
 call grrreeat arranging! I dropped the idea of beach-party and started
 to booze at the near woods. Later I heard that there wasn't been ANY
 beach-party at Hietsu's beach at all! Just normal friday night boozing.

 Many guys had made same decision as me. Lots of guys was boozing near
 the school area. I met some old friends and we had such a good time.
 Many dudes were boozing at the back-yard, and Exotic Men had parked
 their party-bus there (they even offered a free beer to me. THANX!).
 They also had build up their computers inside the car, so they could
 code their party-intro without entering at the 'real' party-place.
 Cool! There was also groups like Bloodsuckers and Accession drooling
 and drinking around.

 Now the list of some groups that were present at the party: Accession,
 Bloodsuckers, Damones, Byterapers, Complex, Rebels, Damones, Exotic Men,
 Dual Crew, Nikki Corruptions, Reflects, Midnightsun, Dai, Genocide,
 DiskNet, Grace, Spectral, Vectra, Wizzcat, Shining 8, Black Robes,
 Stellar, Extend, The Silents, WDI, ex-Cave, Damage, Talents, Chrome,
 Seikkailu P{hkin{, Sonic, Digital, Banal Intrustries, The Skudvanchers, 
 Virtual, Image, Beyond Force, Aurora, Calibra, Morque and much much
 more Amiga/PC/64-groups and independents. Organizers said that there
 were about 700 persons present.

 At the Saturday morning all 'sport'-competitions like disk/frisbee-
 throwing and football were held. Place was sports-field near the
 school. Bunch of many guys from many groups won the football-match
 and Stellar came second. I can't however remember who won the disk-
 throwing-compo.

 Actually, the whole Saturday was just waiting. Everybody was coding
 and finishing their contributions to intro/demo/gfx/music-compos.
 Whole day was actually dead boring. Police however visited at the
 school-building once. Too bad that they weren't seeking after copied
 games, but just to arrest(?) some boozers. Some people said that
 they have came to stop Exotic Men because they broke an Amiga 500
 outside and arrangers thought that it was stolen from the party-place.
 However I don't know is this true or not.

 Some more nice faults at arranging happended when the competitions
 should have been started. First the big-screen-equipment broke down.
 Then there was allkind of mess, and the compos started about three
 hours after promised. Music-compost was so boring that I fell asleep.
 Contributions for gfx-competition were shown fast, and the demo-
 competition lasted forever. After atleast 3 hours of sitting in really



 hot and dump room I was really mad. And when I went outside arrangers
 said that if anyone goes outside, he can't get back inside!! That was
 because some local people were coming inside without paying! Really
 great!

 Voting-system was advertised great. However the arrangers managed to
 fuck it too. There was two Amigas where you can vote for all those
 contributions for gfx/music/intro/demo-competitions. But after 100
 people had voted, the whole system fucked up! So arrangers made a
 special 'emerengy-jury' which picked up the best contributions!!!!!
 Really fucking LAME!

 Afterall this party was yet another disaster in Finnish party-history.
 Arrangers just were too tight-arsed and started to panic if someone
 was drinking beer or pissing at the school-yard. In Finland it is
 impossible to held a party without alcohol, but still all those
 arrangers tries to do it.   ...And all of them have failed...!



Einomies Porkkakoski



About Splatter Movies (by Einomies Porkkakoski)



 ABOUT SPLATTER-MOVIES


 At the 1960's softporno-producer Herschell Gordon Lewis invited the magic
 formula. He tought: What was missing from all movies. Answer was: Violence,
 graphical and simple violence.

 Lewis was the real father of splatter (he called splatter as gore). In his
 movies like BLOOD FEAST (1963), 2000 MANIACS (1964) or COLOR ME RED (1964)
 was the last taboo of movie history broken. All was clear. Splatter was
 the circus of special fx's. Whole movies on rolled with plain shocking fx's.

 Next pioneer was George A. Romero. His movies like NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
 (1968), DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) and DAY OF THE DEAD (1985) were much more
 acvanced that Lewis's simple and empty movies. Romero also invited the
 modern zombies, which were afterwards copied by many directors like Lucio
 Fulci.

 Tobe Hooper was creator of the famous TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974), which
 was quite big success. Later parts haven't ever gain the same classic-
 status than TEXAS 1 got.



 At the 1980's many producers, writers and directors saw how popular the
 splatter has come. FRIDAY THE 13TH was one of the first little budget
 expoitation movies which was sold to the big companies. Paramount-studio
 has bought the FRIDAY-serie and gained a huge pile of money with it.

 The fantasies of destroying the human body have estrangemented the splatter
 movies from horror. Sam Raim changed splatter to splatstic with his EVIL
 DEAD (1984) and EVIL DEAD 2 (1988). Dancing bodies, talking and flying
 heads, running hands or laughing books doesn't fit to the standard world
 of splatter. Raimi's movies were again made with little budget but have
 came very popular.

 Many other film-styles have came after splatter. Films like Nekromantik
 (1987) or VIOLENT SHIT aren't anymore a movies. They are just hardcore
 splatter, without any idea or script.



Einomies Porkkakoski



Napalm Death Review (by Loom)                 



Napalm Death Rewiev

You,who listen to cool and fast music.. this article is for you.. 
albums named is UTOPIA BANISHED.

Songs of album:

 -I Abstain                     -Dementia Access
 -Christering Of The Blind      -The World Keeps Turning
 -Idiosyncratic                 -Aryanisms
 -Cause And Effect (part II)    -Judiacial Slime
 -Distorting The Medium         -Got Time To Kill
 -Upward And Uninterested       -Exile
 -Awake (To A Life Of Misery)   -Contemptous

 I'Like  Very much this album 

 COVER  : 99 %
 MUSIC  : 99 %
 TEXTS  : 99 %
 OVERALL: 99 %

 and next time will be coolest music style " P U N K  M U S I C " rewies¤




News (by Admiral)                             



Sorry for these poor news and rumours,but.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Deadline
Tachral/Tffp and Dr.Header joined. Xendi,Virage,Nulcare and Mellow-d maybe
join Centura
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diffusion
Icebeat joined
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Equinox
Darky and McGee/Realms joined.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Entice
is dead, ex-members formed new group called 'GameService United'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leader Productions
Will soon release a game,Trackmo,Music file and several intros,
and now diskmag (you are reading it now).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lsd
Opened their first board in Norway,call it on Norway-05-124682 (Creep Show)



Menace
Dr.Header left them for Deadline
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Silents
They are going to release a 10-disk demo which needs 2 mb to run
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Fun Factory Productions(Tffp)
Beholder,Tachtal,Beathawk and Dr.Header left them and whole Culture team
joined them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zenith
CrackBrain/CyperDream joined and renamed himself to Zeroline.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------


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