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^^^^ # YUBBI DUBBI DOO, GUESS WHAT... * LASER DANCE * # HAS RETURNED TO TERRESTRIAL SPHERES AFTER A LITTLE SUMMER BREAK ! FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE THE POSSIBILITY TO CHOOSE BETWEEN 5 GREAT SYNTHETIC TUNES FROM US IN THIS INTRO CALLED °MOUNTAINIZED°¹! ²USE THE³F-KEYS²FROM 1 TO 5 AND ENJOY... ON, UNDER AND AROUND THE KEYS IS DR. MASTERMIND AND RIGHT NOW I'M LISTENING TO SOME COOL DARK TEKKNO AND... EH... I NEARLY FORGOT THAT WE ARE SOOOO PROUD TO PRESENT THE LASER DANCE DISK CODING SYSTEM #... YOU WILL SOON FIND OUT THAT THIS INTRO IS HALF A DISKMAG B-CUZ OF ITS SEEMINGLY NEVERENDING SCROLL TEXT... BUT FIRST OF ALL, SOME CREDIZ FOR THIS INTRO : NEAT CODING BY * DR. MASTERMIND * ... RAYTRACED MOUNTAINS BY * DR. MASTERMIND * ... COOL SOUNDS : FIRST ONE DONE BY * DR. MASTERMIND * TUNE NUMBER 2 BY OUR NEW MEMBER * MR. SOUNDWAVE * (WELCOME TO THE ZOO!), THE 3RD BY * MR. SOUNDWAVE AND MINDSTORM * , NUMBER 4 BY * MR. SOUNDWAVE AND DARYL * AND THE LAST TUNE IS FROM * SKILLION * ! NOW FOR LOADSA WEIRD KILOBYTES OF TEXT FROM DIFFERENT MEMBERS !!! THE GREETS AND THE MEMBERLIST ARE PLACED AT THE VERY END.. HEHE ! PSSSST ! THIS IS THE FABULOUS SOUND RIP MACHINE WUFF OF GOTHIC !!! BUARGLLL IT IS SMELLING LIKE OLD GYROS, OR WHAT ? HAVE NO FEAR, IT'S HOWIE THE DUCK, KIDDING 'BOUT MY OLD FRIEND WOTW, I HOPE THAT THE LAST SENTENCE WILL NOT DAMAGE YOUR MUSIC CAREER (HAHAHA!) ... OK TODAY NO MORE MESSAGES FROM ME ! ... HI CHICKS'N'DICKS, HERE'S X-ACT ! I'M ONE OF THE LAZY GFX-GODS (!?) IN LDC ! HEY YOU SEXY MOTHERFUCKER, WANNA BUY CHEAP AMIGA/PC QUALITY PRODUCTS ?? YES, THEN WRITE TO A GERMAN COMPANY CALLED ° EUROSTAR °¹AND²MENTION LASER DANCE IN YOUR LETTER. YOU'LL GET THE ADDRESS FROM OUR HQ (DR.M.) OR YOU'LL FIND SEVERAL ADS IN THE 'OTHER-KIND-OF-MAG' ILLUMINATION ! THE PRICES FOR HARD- AND SOFTWARE ARE REALLY CHEAP ! B UP 2 D8 WITH EUROSTAR (X-ACT) !! SO LONG, DINGELDIDONG... PS: CALL 1-800-477-7373 THE EMERGENCY ROOM FOR SOME HOT AND NAUGHTY NURSES !!! VISA AND MASTERCARD ACCEPTED, HEHE... DOC MASTERMIND AGAIN... HAVE YOU KNOWN HOWIE'S HANDLE DOES NOT DERIVE FROM - HOWARD THE DUCK (QUAAAK) - , BUT FROM A PORN ACTOR CALLED - HOWARD DER KLEMPNER - ?? YEAH DUDIES, THE NAME IS THE ONLY COMMON THING BETWEEN BOTH !!! HEHEHE AND AGAIN HEHE HEHE HEHE... HEHE RULZ ! THE SPECIALS FROM ME THIS TIME GO OUT TO 2 CONTACTS WHO SEEM TO HAVE OVERTAKEN MY SLOGAN 'BOOZE IT AWAY, MAAAN !'. YOP, HI TO ALIEX OF CYBORX AND NICK OF RISK INC. !!!! KAMPFTRINKER 4EVER ! THE PRIZE FOR THE COOLEST MILK DRINKER MUST GO TO ... TATAAA ... MR. MAGNOSE OF PARADISE !!!! YEEEAAAHHHH.... NO COMMENTS HERE !! BEFORE JONAH KE!A'S SUBMENTAL BRAIN-DERANGED TEXT IS CUMMIN' UP, I'D LIKE 2 POINT OUT THAT THIS DRUG-INSANE JERK MANAGED TO EXCEED THE (CRUNCHED) 100 KB INTRO LENGTH... SKOL ! ... WELL... EERRMM... IT'S... IT'S... JONAH KE!A, THE BASS-ENTHROBULATED MEGA-RABBITKILLER WITH CHILLED COKE AND ICE-CREAM!!! ALRIGHT FELLAZ! I HOPE YOU AREN'T THAT BORED AFTER READING DOC'S SCROLL-TEXT, BUT DON'T WORRY, I WON'T GIVE UP TOO FAST...! OK NOW, AFTER ALL THESE CLERICAL-INFLUENCED STATEMENTS I HAVE TO BLOW OUT SOME GREETINGS JUST TO MAKE HAPPY ALL THOSE BULL-HEADED BASTARDS WHO THINK THEY'RE SO COOL IF THEIR NAMES APPEAR ON THE SCREEN... WELL, THERE WE HAVE GOOD OLE' PINCHER, WHEREVER HE MAY BE, THEN SOME DUDE WHO CALLS HIMSELF ''KARL'' AND IS (OR WAS) AN OVERWORKED MEMBER OF A GROUP WITH THE RATHER SENSELESS NAME 'ACTIVE', THEN WE'VE GOT A BUNCH OF GALACTICALLY MAD LOONIES CALLED -SCOOPEX- WHOSE MEMBER 'TMB' (OR SHOULD I SAY 'MIRANDAR'?) WAS A CONTACT OF MINE SOME YEARS AGO, A WELL-BUILT FREAK WHO LISTENS TO THE NAME 'GALADRIEL' AND IS SURELY THE VERY BEST ROLE-PLAYER OF ALL TIMES, A MENTAL-BURIED COMPADRE CALLED 'BOZO' WHO WAS A MEMBER OF -REBELS- FOR QUITE A WHILE, AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, PHIL THRUST, THE LEGENDARY PINK DOT OF PROFESSIONALITY UPON THE GREY SKY OF THE AMIGA-SCENE... TIME'S CHANGING, MATEZ! AS WE ARE IN THE MAZE OF LIFE, I CAN'T GIVE YA SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR YOUR HEALTH, BUT: SMOKING MARIHUANA CENTRALIZES YOUR MIND, IS GOOD FOR YOUR SEXUAL LIFE, AND GIVES YOU MENTAL ABILITIES WHICH ARE BEYOND MEASURE FOR THOSE WHO ARE TOO STUPID TO NOTICE THAT YOUR BRAIN IS NOT DESIGNED FOR CALCULATING THE DAILY AMOUNT OF ENERGY WHICH HAS TO BE TAKEN UP BY EATING, OR TO REMIND YOU OF HAVING TO VISIT THE LAVATORY TWICE A DAY! OPEN YOUR MIND! OK NOW, AFTER THIS GALLANT MENTAL FLIGHT OF CRAZED DISABILITY I PROCEED FURTHER TO THE MORE VITAL THINGS... ...MUSIC! WELL, EERRM... ...I THINK THIS PEEPY MUSIC YOU'RE ABOUT TO LISTEN TO HAS BEEN MADE BY THE DOC WITH THAT LOUSY PROGRAM WHICH IS CALLED 'SONIC ARRANGER'... ...OR WAS IT 'PROSAIC ARRANGER'? I DON'T REMEMBER... BUT WHAT I KNOW IS THAT I DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF MUSIC VERY MUCH... DOC KNOWS THAT, BUT KEEPS ON MAKIN' MUSIC LIKE THIS... ...WHAT A NAUGHTY BOY, EH! (NOTE FROM DOC M : BAAAEEEHHHH !!!!) BY THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THIS FASCISTOID SKINHEAD-SCUM AND A POT FULL OF SHIT? HM? ...THERE IS NONE, THE SKINHEAD JUST STINKS MUCH MORE AWFUL... ...WIESO SCHREIBE ICH DIESEN DRECK HIER EIGENTLICH IN ENGLISCH? ICH HAB' MICH IMMER GEFRAGT, WIESO DIE MEISTEN SCROLL-TEXTE NICHT IN DER SPRACHE GESCHRIEBEN WERDEN, IN DER SIE PROGRAMMIERT WERDEN... ALSO ASSEMBLER... HMM... DAS IST MIR JETZT ECHT ZU MATERIALISTISCH... LASST UNS DIESE EBENE DES BEWUSSTSEINS VERLASSEN... WWARP! UND NUN: EIN TOAST AUF ALLE SCHLAUCHBOOT-BESITZER MIT CHROMOSOMENSTOERUNG UND SCHUHGROESSE 46! ...JAJA, ICH WEISS, I NOW THAT IT'S RATHER SILLY TO BRING OUT A TOAST FOR ALL THOSE RUBBERDUCKS, BUT IT'S MUCH BETTER THAN TO BRING IT OUT FOR THE CHILDREN, FOR THE EXTRO-PSYCHEDELIC DRILLS, FOR INSANE MASS-MURDERERS, FOR MANIC STREET-PREACHERS, FOR THE LAST EMPEROR OF CHINA, FOR THE FIRST BABY TO BE BORN WITHOUT A SOUL, FOR DAMAGED DISK-DRIVES, FOR INVISIBLE, OVERHAULED, MAINTENANCED BUT SLIGHTLY DISORIENTED EXHAUSTION-PIPES WITH RUSTY STAINS ON IT, FOR PERFECTLY DEGENERATED DATA-BECKER-MANUALISTS, AND FINALLY FOR A500-FREAX WHO THINK THEY OWN A REALLY GREAT AMIGA... OH YEAH... WELL WELL WELL... BEFORE I FORGET: MANY KISSES AND THE BEST WISHES TO SHEENA HORNE WHO IS MY FRIEND'S FAVOURITE ACTRESS IN ONE OF THOSE THERESA-ORLOWSKY PORNO-MOVIES... (LITTLE NOTE FROM DR. MASTERMIND.. TERESA IS WRITTEN WITHOUT AN 'H'... BUURPS !) IN FACT, I DIDN'T SEE HER YET, BUT I THINK THAT ALL YOU WANKERS OUT THERE KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT...! AND NOW: THE TRUTH ABOUT THE HIDEOUS CONNECTION BETWEEN COMMODORE AND SOME GERMAN WEAPON-MANUFACTURERS... WELL, THERE IS NONE... IN FACT VERY FEW PEOPLE HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO LIFT THE CURTAIN OF DEADLY SILENCE WHICH COVERS THE REAL CANNIBALISTIC FACTS OF THE LINK BETWEEN SOME AMERICAN COMPANIES AND THE IRAQI AGRICULTURAL MINISTRY... POISON GAS, YOU KNOW...! YYAWN... (COUGH!) THE WEATHER HERE IN GERMANY IS AWFULLY BAD... DIE SCHMERZGRENZE IST ERREICHT! MEINE DAMEN UND HERREN: WIR PRAESENTIEREN IHNEN HEUTE - DAS BESTE AUS ZEHN JAHREN JONAH-POWER! DIESMAL: PERLEN-VOR-DIE-SAEUE-PRODUKTIONEN IST SEHR STOLZ IHNEN HEUTE EINE GESCHICHTE UNTER DIE NASE REIBEN ZU KOENNEN, DIE SO UNSINNIG, BLOEDE UND DOOF IST, DASS SELBST MIR IN MEINER EIGENSCHAFT ALS LETZTER VERFECHTER PUBLIZISTISCHER IDIOTIE DER ATEM STOCKT: DAS GA-PFLOMPF! HERE'S OUR STORY: ONCE UPON A TIME, IN THE BACK-GARDEN OF A HUGE EUROPEAN MANSION, A FATHER IS ABOUT TO RAPE HIS LITTLE BABY-GIRL. HIS PENIS IS FULLY ERECTED AND IN THAT VERY MOMENT WHEN THE FATHER WANTS TO PENETRATE THE LITTLE GIRL'S VAGINA, THE GIANT C A R B U R E T O R ROLLS IN!! THE GIANT CARBURETOR IS THE SAVIOUR OF THE UNIVERSE, THE FIGHTER FOR FREEDOM, THE KNIGHT OF PEACE AND LOVE... ...APART FROM THAT HE CHEATS HORRIBLY IF HE PLAYS POKER, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER STORY... SO THE GIANT CARBURETOR SLEAZES THE HEAD OF THE FATHER, BREAKS THE SPINE OF HIM, TEARS HIS FACE TO PIECES AND FINALLY STICKS THE FATHER'S NOSE UP HIS ASS... ...AND NOW THE STORY IS OVER! ...UND WENN SIE NICHT GESTORBEN SIND, SCHIEBEN SIE SICH HEUTE NOCH GEGENSEITIG DIE NASEN IN DIE AERSCHE! ISN'T THAT A LOVELY LITTLE FAIRY-TALE? I LIKE IT VERY MUCH! OK OK OK OK OK... DAS SCROLLTEXT-KOMBINAT ZWITTERFELD-VORPIMPERN LEGT NUN DEN GOLDENEN VIBRATOR AUS DER HAND UND WUENSCHT IHNEN EINEN ANGENEHMEN EISPRUNG! MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE... ...WITH UNICORN! UH OH, I'M SORRY: L A S E R D A N C E! JONAH SAYS BYE... TRY TO FIND ME IN MY LITERAL-DRAMATIC WORLD OF PSYCHEDELIC BRAIN-WASH, THE PRINCIPLE OF S-N-A-F-U, THE EDGE OF TIME, OR THE PATHOLOGICAL TIME-CLUSTER JUST AROUND YOUR NEUROLOGICAL CORNER... A FREE ADVICE ON THE END: ACTIVATE YOUR NEURO-TRANSMITTERS BY FEEDING YOUR BRAIN! ...AND AS THE SEVENTH ANGEL POURS OUT HIS BOWL THERE WAS SILENCE IN HEAVEN, AND THE MAGICIAN OF TIME VISIONS THE LETTERS OF PEACE, LOVE AND FREEDOM: H A N O J! QUETSCHKOMMODENSPIELER ALLER LAENDER, VEREINIGT EUCH! NIEDER MIT DEN KEYBOARDS! OK, I'M OFF NOW... BYEEE! ..... MEANWHILE FLINX THE LYNX (DER GROSSE AKOLYT UND NEKROSOPH) HAS PLUGGED HIMSELF INTO HIS MACHINE BRAIN AND IS GOING TO TRANSMIT SOME WORDS OF LESSER WISDOM. I AM JUST GOING TO SEEK SOME CONTACTS HERE. DON'T GET ME WRONG - NO SWAPPING MATES. I AM SERIOUSLY LOOKING FOR PARANOID NEUROTICS WHO'D LIKE TO SWAP !DREAMS! WITH ME; ANONYMOUSLY, IF YOU PREFER IT THAT WAY. OTHERWISE EVERYONE WHO SUPPOSES HE/SHE IS ABLE TO BECOME A PEN FRIEND OF SOMEONE INTERESTED IN WRITING POEMS/STORIES, GIGER, ROLEPLAYING, READING (FROM KAFKA TO BRADLEY AND MOORCOCK) (DR.M. SAYS: HEEEEELP !!!!), DRAWING, ELFQUEST, OCCULTISM AND BLACK ROMANCE, SHOULD WRITE TO JAN¹MEYRING, BAHNHOFSTR.48, W-4417 ALTENBERGE IN GERMONEY.²I ALSO WISH TO SWAP WAVE/GOTHIC TAPES, AND CONTRIBUTIONS FOR 'ILLUMINATION' SHOULD BE SENT TO THAT ADDRESS, TOO. FINALLY I WANT TO HAIL EVERYONE DESERVING MY RESPECT... SUBWAY MESSIAH (GRUFTIE!!!!!), ANDREAS, DEN NIHILISTEN ('ES GIBT KEINEN GOTT UND DU BIST NUR EINE WANDELNDE KOHLENSTOFFVERBINDUNG'), TIM (FINISHED WITH THE BOMB?), HIS MUTANT FISH, SAAD, UWE, M.A.D.E, NINA, JONAH KE!A AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO IS IN MY 'OFFICIAL' LDC GREETINGS LIST ANYWAY. THIS CHAPTER WILL BE CLOSED NOW. REMEMBER: NON SERVIAM. YEP, SKILLION IS TYPING SOME CRAP HERE ! I'VE REALLY NO BOCK TO WRITE MUCH. BECAUSE OF THIS I'LL ONLY SEND MY ONGELIHIHOPS TO: AMNESTY/PANDORRA (C64) FOR THE COOL SUPPORT, THANX PAL ! ALL MEMBERS OF MEXX 4 THE GREAT TIMES WE HAD AND WILL HAVE ! FIREBALL/SUBZERO, YOU ARE A REALLY COOL FRIEND ! THANX FOR THE FUNNY CALLS AND KEEP UP YOUR GOOD WORK ! SALI-ADALAT FOR NOT CALLING ME (OOPS, WHAT HAPPENED 2 U ? CALL ME UP !) ! BTK/TREACL FOR THE FUNNY FAXES ! CARSTEN SCHLOTE FOR CODING THE SONIC ARRANGER ! SCUBA/X-TRADE COZ HE'S A REALLY COOL GUY ! HEY, YOU CAN CALL MY FAX-LINE 'DROP-A-LINE' : ¹ 49-7131-173445 !! END²OF TRANSMISSION ! COMPLETE GREETINGS TO OUR FOLLOWING MATES ... ° ACUME - BARRAKUDA ° ADEPT - TYRANT ° AFL - SALVATORE ° ALCATRAZ - CONTROL ° AMNESIA - WARDEN ° ANALOG - JASON ° ANTARIX - ART ° AURORA - ROCKET ° AWESOME - GILIUS ° AXIS - KR'33 ° BEYOND - MR.KING,SKINDIVER ° BYTE BUSTERS - SAVAGE ° CARSTEN SCHLOTE ° CENTURA - POISON ° CHAMPS - MC H. ° CHAOS - CRUNCHY ° COAST - EDDY ° COMPLEX - HYDE ° CRACK INC. - BIZARRE/KAOS DESIGN ° CYBORX - ALIEX ° D-29 - AIRBRAIN ° DAMIAN - PER ° DARK STAR - MAGIC,POWERPLEX ° DARYL ° DESTINY - TANTALUS ° DIGITAL - DEATHLOK,NUMBER 5 ° D-TECT - CLAN ° DUAL CREW - LEEBOLD,WDO ° E.S.G/242 - MADOKAN ° FROGS - CYBER-BUG,IMMORTUS ° FUNNY BUSINESS - CHRIS,NENAD ° GOTHIC - MEAN JEAN,WUFF ° HALFAST ° HARDLINE - BLACK SCORPION,TRASHER ° ICE - ARCHIE ° INFECT - GADGET ° INTERACTIVE - TRIPEX ° IRIS - CHRIS ° JASON DEAN ° LSD - DEICIDE,LORD ZERO ° LUNATIC EARLS - DADDY-O,MASTER ° MAGNETIC FIELDS - KEVIN ° MASQUERADE - DR.CRAZY ° MEXX - AIRWOLF,CRAZY CRACK,EINSTEIN,LUI,ROCKETEER,RTD ° MOTION INC. - DONALD ° NEUTRALIZER ° NOXIOUS - ART ° NUANCE - FMD 92,PSYCHO-DEMON ° OPERATION MINDCRIME - MINDSTORM ° PANDORRA - AMNESTY (C64) ° PARADISE - BRUTUS,KILLRAVEN,MR.MAGNOSE,RST ° PARALLAX - LEGEND ° PARANOID - ARONAL ° PLEASURE - COBRA,RIPGUY ° PMC - DARKWALKER ° PRESTIGE - KILLTECH,SWIFF ° PRINCIPES - MCT ° QUARTZ - PILKA ° RAZOR 1911 - FLASH FOX ° REALM - TERMINATOR ° REBELS - LOGIC ° RISK INC. - NICK ° ROOKIES - THUNDER ° SABBEL ° SALI-ADALAT ° SBT ° SHINING 8 - CIBI,EXORCIST,GHOSTRIDER,WARHAWK ° SILENTS - JOL005X ° SILICON LTD. - STRANGER ° SLIPSTREAM - PULSTAR ° SPACEBALLS - YOGHURT ° SUBMISSION - AXE,GHOST ° SUBZERO - FIREBALL ° SUICIDE - DR.DJ ° SUPPLEX - FRAP ° SYMBIOSIS - HIJACK ° TECH - SLAUGHTER,TRONIX ° TEK - RED KNIGHT ° TFD ° TREACL - BTK ° TRSI - TSM,WARHEAD ° TSB - ERROR,REBEL MC ° U.D.O - DO-X ° VANISH - CASTOR ° VENATOR - STRIKER ° XENOX - SELFMADE ° X-TRADE - KREATOR,MANTA,PPJ,SCUBA ° XZESS - LORD CHAOS ° ZENITH - 2-PAC,LEON,TODD-1. ³ OUR CRAZY MEMBERS²ARE : * BLADERUNNER - CODER,MODEMTRADER * DR. MASTERMIND - BOSS,CODER,MUSICIAN,MAILTRADER * DLL - CODER * ELWIX - CODER * FLINX THE LYNX - GFX ARTIST * HOWIE - MAILTRADER * JONAH KE!A - CODER,'MUSICIAN' * MEGAMANIAC - CODER * MR. SOUNDWAVE - CODER,MUSICIAN * SKILLION - MUSICIAN,MAILTRADER * S.K. SOFT - CODER * X-ACT - GFX ARTIST * OK DUDIES, NO MORE TEXT, NO MORE PAIN ! BYEEEE... ³ ¹ ²