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HELLO AND WELCOME TO A RAVE MIX CALLED -TOTAL KAOS- FROM LSD, BEFORE WE KICK
OFF WITH THE MESSAGES, HERES THE CREDITS, CODING BY SHAGRATT AND MAXIMAN, MUSIC
BY ECHO, AND GRAPHICS BY WATCHMAN. OK HERE WE GO WITH THE MESSAGES FROM ECHO...
HELLO WORLD AND WELCOME TO RAVIN' WE'RE RAVIN'... OOOPS.. NO, I DIDN'T
MEAN THAT REALLY, SO I'LL TRY THAT AGAIN... I'M SITTING HERE... BORED AS
BUGGERY... SITTING NEXT TO ME IS A
M8 OF MINE WHO'S GOT A CATTERPILLAR GROWING UNDER HIS NOSE. HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN A GINGER CATTERPILLAR? NO? NEITHER HAVE I... HE ALSO USED TO HAVE
A LOT MORE FACIAL GROWTH, BUT THE WIND CAME UP AND BLEW THAT IN-A-GAIN (POOR
OLD MICHEAL FINNEGAN BLAH...) HE IS AS BLACK AS ICE AND NAMED XENO.
BUT LESS ABOUT HIM... LETS TALK ABOUT ME! YEAH... BUT AS IT HAPPENS
I'M GETTING PRETTY BORED OF THINKING OF CRAP STUFFZ TO WRITE, SO I'M GONNA TELL
YOU ABOUT THIS MUSIC... INSPIRED BY MUCH OF THE OLDER 'RAVE' SOUNDZ, I
DECIDED TO TAKE TO THE AMIGA AND FIGURED THAT RAVE IS A DODDLE TO WRITE BECOZ
ANY FUKER CAN WRITE IT. EVEN A COMMUNE OF TONE-DEAF HEDGEHOGS IN A BAG WITH
EAR-MUFFS ON! SO, ALTHOUGH THERE ARE NO HARD-CORE BEATS (BCOZ MY SAMPLER IS IN
FAST'S HANDS AT THE MOMENT (THANX PAZZA)) IN THIS MUSIC, THE IDEA WAS THERE (AND
IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNT'S, AIN'T IT.) I HAVE PLAYED THIS AT RAVES NOW AND
THEN (ON THE STAGE 'LIVE' WITH THE AMIGA, PROTRACKER AND 35K OR TURBO SOUND!)
WELL, I'M GETTING EVEN MORE
STUCK FOR DRIBBLE, SO NOW IT'S ONTO THE FEW GREETINGS TO PEOPLE IN THE VIRTUAL
WORLD OF REALITY I ACTUALLY STILL KNOW.... YAZ/DIGITAL - YES, I KNOW IT'S SAD,
BUT YOU STILL USED SOME OF THE SAMPLES.... ASSASSIN/DMX - HI THERE LEE! OK,
SO WHEN'S THE DMX PARTY (DMX PARTY? WOT DMX PARTY?!) I'D LUV TO SAY HELLO
TO SOME MORE FOLX, BUT I'M IN A FUCK OF A RUSH SO.... ERM.... BYE..
AND OVER TO WATCHMAN...
DRUGIES BOOSERS STRUMPETS AND LOOSERS ITS YOUR OLD MATE WATCHY HERE WITH A
FEW LITTLE MESSAGES TO A COUPLE OF FRIENDS. MUB... CHRIS YOU BLOODY LOUT IM A
COMIN TO GET YA! ... PAZZA... HEY MARTIN, TULL RULZ ... DESTINY...
PLEASE DONT MARRY MUB, HES FAR TO UGLY ... RED DEVIL... MATE ID LOVE TO
SEND YOU A PACKAGE BACK BUT I JUST DIDNT GET YOURS, SORRY IF YOU THOUGHT THAT
I WAS A PIG HEADED SON OF A BITCH, WELL HAVE TO MEET UP AT THE QUARTZ PARTY...
GOLLUM... GO ON THEN FIFTY QUID AND ITS A DEAL ... SHANNON... MY MY YOU
SOUND GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT... TORCH... DONT BE AFRAID BE VERY VERY AFRAID...
BAA BAA... TIM MY OLD DRUGGIE HOPE TO MEET YA AGAIN SOON, SEND SOME GANJA
DESIGN STUFF... FISHY FISHY FISH... HIGH RES HIGH RES NEVER TOUCH IT CAN
HURT YOU VERY MUCH... TRIPPER... YOUR MOMS A HAMSTER AND YOUR DAD SMELLS
OF ELDERBERRYS... JON FROM DUDLEY... THOSE WHO MOKE WOULD MOKE A TOKE,
INDEFINATLEY KREST... NICE HIGH RES PICCYS DUDE, LETS HAVE A CHAT ONE OF
THE DAYS... BERNARD SUMNER... RAVE SMELLS... EVERY ONE IN QUARTZ...
THANX GUYS I REALLY NEEDED THIS PARTY... WELL THATS ABOUT IT, ERM I HOPE
YOU LIKE THIS PRODUCTION WHATEVER IT IS AND REMEMBER TO HAVE A GOOD TIME ALL
THE TIME, BECAUSE IF YOU DONT ITLL GET VERY BORING INDEED AND YOULL START
LISTENING TO RAVE MUSIC, THEN YOULL TURN LIBERAL AND START VOTING FOR GUN
CONTROLL AND FROM THEN ON ITS ALL DOWN HILL. SO TURN UP THE TULL MOKE A TOKE
AND RELAX.............. FFP................
AND OVER TO OUR FRIEND DEADBEAT... DEADBEAT HERE! SENDING MY RESPECTS AND
REGARDS TO... DMAN, PAZZA, TORCH, DATA, CHIME (LSD)... CIARS AND RAZOR BLADE
OF ALLIANCE... DAN AND 2TUFF OF CRYSTAL... RED DEVIL AND CLARVOYANT OF DUAL
CREW... AUTOPSY OF SCOOPEX... KITARO OF FAIRLIGHT... INTREQ OF ROTOX OF
DIGITAL... OVERDOSE... OK THATS THE LOT... BYEEEEEEEE...
AND OVER TO PAZZA... HI DUDES, WELL, ITS THURSDAY NIGHT (6/8/92) AND WE HAVE
JUST PUT GRAPEVINE TOGETHER, AND I MUST SAY IT IS THE BEST YET... BUT GRAPEVINE
ISSUE 12 WILL BE EVEN BETTER. WELL WHAT CAN I SAY, IVE BEEN TOLD BY THE POLICE
VIA MY SOLICITER THAT IM GONNA BE PROSECUTED FOR SOFTWARE THEFT, SO KEEP READING
GRAPEVINE FOR UPDATES. ERR... MY CAT IS DUE TO HAVE KITTENS ON 12TH OF AUGUST,
AND MY DOG IS STILL STUPID. TOMORROW WATCHMAN, BERNARD SUMNER, FISH, MUB AND
AMB ARRIVE AT MY PLACE READY TO GO TO THE QUARTZ PARTY, WHICH IS WHERE WE
RELEASE THIS. SHAGRATT AND MAXIMAN SHOULD ALSO SHOW UP AT MY PLACE, BUT
SHAGRATT CANT MAKE THE PARTY, AND IM NOT SURE ABOUT MAXIMAN! MIND YOU IM ONLY
GOING TO GET PISSED AND MEET MY FRIENDS! SHOULD BE KEWL! TIME FOR A QUICK
ADVERT, CALL THESE KEWL BOARDS, ODYSSEY (WHQ) +1 314 644 0403. SYSOP:
NIGHTWIND OR MILLENIA (UK DISTRIBUTION SITE) +44 (0)91 284 3142. SYSOP:
KITARO. LETS TALK ABOUT THINGS I DONT LIKE, SUCH AS PEOPLE THAT CODE
UTILITIES FOR LAMERS, SUCH AS CUSTOM CRUNCHER DECRUNCHERS, WHAT ELSE, PEOPLE
THAT SAY THEY DONT LIKE THINGS ABOUT GRAPEVINE WHEN THEIR DISK MAGAZINE HAS
THE SAME FEATURES HEHEHEHEHEHE AND YOU THINK IM JOKING! FILMS THAT ALAN DELON
IS IN, WHY DO ITV SHOW THESE DUBBED FRENCH FILMS EVERY MONDAY NITE, AND THEY
WONDER WHY SKY IS POPULAR! DONT YOU THINK THAT MARIELLA FROSTROP FROM VIDEO
VIEW, HAS SAGGY TITS? AND SHE LIKES SHIT MOVIES, I WONDER IF SHE IS RELATED
TO BAZZA NORMAN? I FOUND A PROBLEM WITH HAVING A SHOWER INSTEAD OF A
BATH, IN A BATH YOU CAN MAKE GREAT BUBBLES WHEN YOU FART, BUT THERES NOTHING
WHEN YOU FART IN THE SHOWER! MAKES YOU THINK HUH! AND I REALY HATE FILMS
ON TV WHEN THEIR NOT SHOWN IN WIDESCREEN, WIDESCREEN RULES! AND WHY ISNT
THERE ANOTHER SERIES OF THE GREATEST TV SERIES EVER -DR WHO-? MIND YOU,
SHAGRATT HAS MANY OF THE STORIES ON VIDEO! ARENT THE JAPANISE CARTOONS ACE,
SUCH AS AKIRA, DOMINION AND FIST OF THE NORTH STAR! GOOD JOB SHAGRATT BUYS
ALL THOSE TOO! HEHEHE! ONTO SOME MESSAGES TO FRIENDS
SHAGRATT - ANOTHER JOB WELL DONE, GOOD LUCK WITH THE VECTORS, ALTHOUGH I KNOW
YOU DONT NEED LUCK. ECHO - GREAT RAVE, AND WHEN SHAGRATT CODES THAT NEW IDEA
YOU WILL GET TWICE AS MUCH ON! WATCHMAN - GREAT GRAPHICS AS USUAL, BUT DO I
REALY NEED TO SAY THAT? LOOKING FORWARD TOO SEEING YOU! BERNARD SUMNER - HI
PHIL, SHOULD BE A GREAT PARTY HUH? AMB - WILL YOU TIRE IF THOSE PLAIN PIZZAS,
GO FOR THE HOT ONES LIKE ME, AND MUB LOVES THEM... NOT! FISH - CHEERS FOR
TALKING YOUR WIFE INTO DOG SITTING FOR ME! MARIE - THANX FOR LOOKING AFTER MY
DOG, HOPE YOU HAVE A LOT OF FOOD TO KEEP HER BUSY! MUB - SKIN UP! CHIME -
WOW, NICE ROUTINES, I LIKE THE GAME ALSO! MAXIMAN - LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR
DEMO STILL! GODD LUCK WITH THE JOB. SPIRIT - HOPE THE GAMES FINISHED THIS
WEEKEND, A PITY YOU COULDNT COME WITH US! ECHO - YOUD RATHER RAVE THAN PARTY
HUH? POPPY - WOOF BARK, KITTY - WHERES THOSE KITTENS, JAZ AND MUTANT MANGO -
GOOD LUCK WITH THE PARTY! SOUL - LOOKING FORWARD TOO MEETING YOU AT THE PART!
MAJIC MUSHROOM - WELL YOUR INTO RAVE HUH, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? DR
BUTCHER - HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMIGA AGAIN SOON! 2TONE - GREAT AD&D MODULE, KEEP
THEM COMING! JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME - BERNARD SUMNER SAYS YOUR A PUFF! TORCH -
COSMIC? MELLOW? LAID BACK? NO I DONT THINK SO! MCGRIEVES - IM NOT GOING
TO SAY GET SOME WIMMIN... DOH! DEADBEAT - IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOUR TOO
CLOSE. DMAN - 3.5 MEG ISNT THAT BAD HUH, LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU!
NIGHTSTALKER, DESTINY, DIZZY, CATMAN AND THE REST OF OUR USA DUDES - MISSING
THOSE CONFERANCES, AND MARISOL SAYING -OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SO CRAZY-
DYNAMO - SORRY I COULDNT MEET YOU AT THE PARTY, (THIS SCROLLER HAS JUST HIT THE
6,000KB MARK, THERES A REALY DULL BIT OF TRIVIA FOR YOU!) MORE MESSAGES SOON,
NOW SOME MORE BORING CRAP FROM ME, IT SEEMS OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN HAS BREAST
CANCER, I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS FLAT CHESTED ANYHOW, SO THERES NO LOSS THERE!
WHY IS AMERICAN GLADIATORS SO SAD? AND WHY ARE THEY MAKING A UK VERSION OF IT?
DID YOU SEE -THE GONG SHOW MOVIE- ON CHANNEL 4? SO SAD! IF THE ROAD TO HELL
IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS, WHATS THE M1 PAVED WITH? MAKES YOU THINK DOESNT
IT? AND HERES ANOTHER ONE, HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOBBLY RAMPACK! HEY, IF
ANYONE OUT THERE HAS A VIRUS ON THEIR FAX MACHINE, THERES A KILLER COMING OUT
FOR IT FROM TORCH SOON! IT SHOULD BE IN GRAPEVINE ISSUE 12! HERE COME SOME
MORE MESSAGES FROM ME... ORCRIST - HOPE YOU IMPLIMENT THOSE IDEAS IN JED MUB
GAVE YOU! NOT THE MOMMA - COOL ARTICLES. SCHITZO - MAYBE ILL SEE YOU AT
THE PARTY? FRANKLYN - THANX FOR THE SONIC DEMO, ILL REPLY SOON (HONEST!)
STU - THANKS FOR THE CALL, ILL SEND SOON! MOZ - HI MATE, I LOOK FORWARD TO
YOUR ARTICLES, A GOOD READ! LIGHTBRINGER - YOUR AD&D MODULE WAS REAL COOL!
TANTLOS (I THINK THATS HOW YOU SPELL IT!) - HI ANDY, LONG TIME NO HEAR!
RAZOR BLADE - HI MATE, HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON! CLARVOYANT - ARE YOU SURE I CANT
CALL YOU CLAIR? DELBERT - IS THERE ANYBODY THERE? WHATS HAPPENING? TORCH -
HELLO AGAIN, MY FAX IS REALY FUCKING ABOUT WITH THAT VIRUS, TORCH WILL FIX
IT THOUGH! BY THE WAY, LSD ARE LOOKING FOR QUALITY ARTISTS, SO IF YOU ARE
INTERESTED RING PAZZA NOW ON 0427 677463, OR WRITE TO ME FOR ANY REASON AT
PAZZA, 2 SOUTH PARADE, GAINSBOROUGH, LINCS, DN21 1UQ. BACK TO THE MESSAGES,
2COOL - HI TREV, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, LOOKING FORWARD TO THE ARTICLE EDITOR
AND THE CRUNCHER! CYGNUS - YOUR THE COOLEST GUY I KNOW! (PROBABLY!) DATA -
HOPE THE GAME IS COMING ON WELL! FLEX - LONG TOME, HOW ARE YOU AFTER THE
OPERATION? THEY WANT ME TO GO INTO HOSPITAL FOR 3 WEEKS TRACTION FOR MY BACK!
SOL AND SPECTRAL - HOW ARE THINGS DOWN UNDER? (WE HAVE HIT THE 7,000KB MARK!
ALISTER - LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOUR GAME FINISHED SOON, HOPE YOU AND DAVE
SORT OUT YOUR CODING PROJECT, BUT I KNOW YOU BOTH WILL! HERES A THOUGHT, WHY
DOESNT THE POPE RELEASE A RAVE MIX? OR THE QUEEN. WHATS THE DIFFERANCE
BETWEEN CURTAINS AND TOILET PAPER? YOU DONT KNOW, YOU DIRTY BASTARD! TORCH -
HEY CRAIG, DO YOU LIKE SEX? DO YOU LIKE TRAVEL? WELL FUCK OFF! I HEAR
HI-TEC SOFTWARE HOUSE HAS CLOSED DOWN, WELL THATS THE END OF THE AMIGA, ALL
THOSE QUALITY GAMES... I DONT THINK, ARE YOU MISSING THEM YET! ARE YOU STILL
READING THIS? YOU SAD PERSON! OK NOW A PLUG FOR ME... IF YOU WANNA BUY ANY OF
THE LATEST PD UTILITIES, DEMOS ETC, THEN CALL ME 0427 677463! IM FASTER AND
CHEEPER THAN ANY PD HOUSE! I THINK THATLL DO FOR THIS SCROLLTEXT, I WANNA GO
TO SLEEP NOW SO ITS GOODNIGHT FROM HIM AND GOODNIGHT FROM ME! (WOW 9,000KB!)
ITS NOT ACTURLY GOODNIGHT AS I HAVE TO TAKE THE DOG OUT FIRST, SO IM GONNA
HAVE TO GO FOR A WALK NOW! OH VERY COOL, TARGET IS ON SKY NEWS, WITH NORMAN
UNDEAD TEBBIT, AND AUSTIN INTERESTING MITCHELL, AND BRIAN GOOLE OF THE LABOUR
PARTY, WHO IS THE SHADOW MINISTER FOR FUN! BORING BASTARDS, HOW ABOUT A
MINISTER FOR GETTING BLASTED? OR A MINISTER FOR PARTYS? OR A MINISTER TO KEEP
THE POLICE AND FAST AWAY FROM ME? A MINISTER FOR FAST PIZZA DELIVERY, NOW THAT
WOULD BE USEFUL. HEY JAZ, I HOPE THEY HAVE GOOD PIZZAS AT THIS PARTYPLACE, OR
IM GOING HOME EARLY! CHEERS FOR THE MAPS!
OVER TO ECHOS FRIEND XENO... WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF BABBLING
WAFFLING AND GENERALY JUST TYPING AWAY TO FILL UP OTHER PEOPLES SCROLLTEXTS...
I SUPOSE I COULD TRY AND MAKE READING THIS TEXT A LITTLE LESS BORING BY
TALKING ABOUT SOMETIHNG MORE INTRESTING THAN YOU USUALY GET IN ONE OF THOSE
STUPID 'AIN'T THIS COOL, WE'RE ALL COOL, AND GRETTZ TO ALL COOL PEOPLE'
SCROLL TEXTS ... YOU KNOW THE ONES .. YES THATS RIGHT, THE ONES THAT REALY
GET UP YOUR NOSE .... IT'S A DAMN SHAME I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHNG MINDBLOWINGLY
(LONG SILLY WORD) INTRESTING TO TALK ABOUT ... ER ... UM .... OH AH! YES YES
YES ... NAH .... OH I KNOW .... ANYONE BEEN TO THE CINEMA RECENTLY .... WELL
THERES ALWAYS ONE ISN'T THERE! IT'S OKAY JUST SITTING AT HOME WATCHING VIDEOS,
BUT THE CINEMA EXPERICENCE JUST CAN'T BE BEATEN .... ANYWAY WHERE WAS I
RUDLEY INTERRUPTED BY THAT ANTISOCIAL GIT WHO HAS NEVER BEEN TO AND NEVER
WANTS TO GO THE CINEMA ... OH YES ECHO AND I WENT T SEE 'THE LAWNMOWER MAN'
... RATHER GOOD I THOUGHT ... SHAME HIS VR SETUP ISN'T AS GOOD AS MINE!
AND ANOTHER THING WHO NEEDS ALL THOSE STUPID DRUGS TO IMPROVE THEIR BRAINS
LEARNING ABILITY ... READING A MANUAL WORKS WONDERS IF IT'S WRITTEN IN
GOBBLEDY GOOK AL THE BETTER I SAY! WE ALSO WENT TO 'WAYNES WORLD' PARTY TIME
IT'S EXELLENT .. ( I LOVE YOU MAN ... I LOVE YOU MAN ... REALLY I DO ...
NO,NO I MEAN IT MAN I REALLY LOVE YOU ) IF THIS HAPPENS TO YOU JUST SAY
THANKS, OK PRETTY SIMPLE 'T' 'H' 'A' 'N' 'K' 'S' OR ELSE THINGS COULD GET
WAY BAD! KNOW WHAT I MEAN. WELL I WOULDN'T WANT A GUY LIKE THE ONE IN THE
MOVIE TRYING TO KISS OR HUG ME TO DEATH IN A STATE OF DRUNKEN/PARTIED OUT/
CHEMICALY RINSED BRAIN TISUE FRENZY GRABBING AT ME ... NOT MY THING AT ALL ...
MIND YOU I KNOW I CAN'T SPEAK FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE! OH EH! ....
<COUGH COUGH CHOKE SPULGHTER> SORRY ABOUT THAT, IT'S ECHO TELLING ME HOW MUCH
HE ENJOYS SMOKING, CHEWING, SNIFFING TOBACCO. AND ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT --I'VE--
NEVER SEEN HIM DOING ANYTHING ELSE OK, SO THERE, OK MISTER ... WELL I RIGHT
I KNOW HE MIGHT ... PROBABLY DOES, BUT I HAVEN'T WITNESSED IT MR NICE POLICEMAN
AND THATS NOT A PRE-FABRICATED CONFESSION MR AND MRS MIDLANDS SERIOUS CRIME SQUAD
TYPE PEOPLE OUT THERE ... WHO SHOUDN'T BE READING SUCH A SOCIALLY CORRUPTING PIECE
OF TEXT .. OR LETTING ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 137 DO SO EITHER ... BOY DO I HATE
SILLY AGES OF CONSENT ... 16 TO SHAG ... 16 WELL I NEVER ... I SUPPOSE YOU'LL
HAVE TO BE 18 BEFORE YOU CAN READ ABOUT IT NEXT ... YOU DO ... BUGGER ME! ...
HANG ON .. HOW OLD WOULD YOU HAVE TO BE TO DO THAT ? 21 ... HOW DO YOU KNOW
YOU FUCKING PUFF! POOF POOF , WATCH OUT LADS BUMS AGAINST THE WALL!
I GUESS I'VE SAID ENOUGH FOR NOW ... THAT WAS MY AMIGA SCROLLTEXT DEBUT ....
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS DRIVEL AND I HOPE TO BE INFORMING YOU OF ANYTHING ELSE
NOT WORTHY OF A PROPER AUDIENCE IN ANOTHER TEXT SOMEWHERE SOMETIME ... MAYBE NOT TODAY,
NOT TOMORROW, BE SOON, AND YOU'LL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
... TOTAL KAOS WAS A PRODUCTION OF THE ADULTS TELEVISION WORKSHOP .... BROUGHT TO YOU TODAY
BY THE LETTER 'X' AND THE NUMBER '42' .... TODAYS OTHER PROGRAMS ON THE AMIGA TODAY INCLUDE
'RUBARB AND CUSTARD' 'CAMBELL WICK FUCKING GREEN' AND 'SUPERTED IN BED WITH PLAYBOYS CENTREFOLD OF THE YEAR'
THIS ISN'T ANDY FUCKING QUEER PETERS ON CHILDRENS ATV ... GOOD NITE!
WE REALY DO HAVE TO GO THIS TIME
SO BYE ONE AND ALL! SCROLLTEXT WRAP!
HMM ARE YOU STILL READING? IVE GONE, THIS ISNT ME
ANYMORE, ITS SOMEONE ELSE! NOT! LOOK, CANT YOU STOP READING
NOW! SSSTTTOOOPPP RRREEEAAADDDIIINNNGGG NNNOOOWWW!!! THERE IS NO MORE TEXT
TO READ, SO -GO AWAY-, YES YOU, LEAVE NOW! THATS IT NO MORE TEXT FROM ME EVER!
THIS TEXT HAS HIT 15,000KB AND IM GONE! BYE ONE AND ALL. LET THERE BE LARD!
ITS A WRAP!