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HEJSAN!    3P$BET!    SALUT!     HI!     THE TIME IS NOW 2.10 AM. IT'S SEPTEMBER FIFTEENTH, 1001. IT IS SUNDAY. THE TOWN IS ASLEEP!        ONLY TWO DEMO#FREAKS (MIMOS AND VIRUS OF DEATHDEFIES)  ARE AWAKE IN THE SMALL SWEDISH TOWN CALLED KARLSHAMN!       IT'S COLD AND MOIST AND THE FOG IS LIKE OAT MEAL PORRIDGE (HAVREGRYNSGR6T) LYING ON THE GROUND.    EVERYTHING IS PURE SILENCE...                         THEN...       
  AN INTENSE BANG SOUNDS OFF FROM THE MARKET PLACE!!!  ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE TOWN IS WOKEN UP! IT WAS PETER RIEDEL TRYING TO GET HIS AIRPLANE STARTED!    HE WANTED TO FLY HOME FROM THE LAMER PARTY HELD AT PUZZ (UNGDOMSG4RDEN)!          IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO PETER RIEDEL IS, I'LL TELL YOU!                MR.RIEDEL IS A LAMER!!!                  PERHAPS THE BIGGEST ONE EVER!!!                              ALL RIGHT! BACK TO THE STORY...          PETER GOT OUT OF HIS AIRPLANE. HIS HEAD WAS A BIT SHAKEN, SO THAT SOME OF THE CORK FROM INSIDE FELL OUT! POOR PETER...  NOW HE CAN'T FLOAT ON THE WATER SURFACE ANYMORE (IT'S MUCH MORE EASY TO DROWN HIM NOW,HEH HEH!!!).          A FEW YEARS AGO, HE HAD THREE BRAINCELLS.    TWO OF THEM WERE FIGHTING ON EACH HALF OF THE BRAIN AND THE THIRD WAS ON VACATION IN THE DJUNGLES OF AFRICA!      THE TWO FIGHTING CELLS KILLED EACH OTHER WITH AN ATOM BOMB AND THE THIRD ONE GOT MALARIA. SO NOW, THERE'S NOTHING BUT CORK!!!                              WELL! PETER STARED AT HIS PLANE AND ASKED HIMSELF   #WHAT HAPPENED?        #I DON'T KNOW! WHO AM I ASKING?            #I MUST BE SENILE, I'M TALKING TO MYSELF!!!          THEN HE LOOKED DOWN TOWARDS THE GROUND AND FOUND THE CORK!      HIS HEART BEGAN TO BEAT HARDER!        #I'VE LOST MY CORK, HE SCREAMED!            HE GOT A SMALL BAG AND STARTED TO PICK UP THE CORK.          THEN, ANOTHER BANG!           PETER LOOKED UP. AND SAID  #WHAT WAS THAT?!?             PETER LOOKED AROUND AND SUDDENLY AN UGLY CREATURE CAME OUT FROM THE SHADOWS! IT WAS...                  #DAMIEN!!!                   OUR PROFESSIONAL LAMER EXTERMINATOR!!!                   AS USUAL, DAMIEN HAD USED HIS  LAMER#EXTERMINATING#DEVICE#MODEL#0C (PUH) TO BLAST A BIG HOLE IN PETER RIEDEL'S STOMACH!    WHEN NOTHING HAPPENED EXCEPT THAT PETER'S GORE WERE FLYING AROUND THE TOWN FOR A MIDNIGHT SNACK AT "PETTERSSONS GATUK6K", DAMIEN GOT ANGRY! WHY DIDN'T THIS LAMER DIE?!?    HE MUST BE SO FUCKED UP IN HIS BRAIN THAT HE DIDN'T REALISE THAT HE WAS DEAD!!!     THIS MUST BE SUPER#LAMER!!!       PETER LOOKED DOWN AGAIN AND THIS TIME HE SAW HIS LIVER ON THE GROUND, SHAKING BY THE WIND.   PETER SCREAMED AGAIN AND TOOK A SMALL WOODEN BRANCH TO KILL DAMIEN WITH!   DAMIEN GOT UP ANOTHER WEAPON!   HIS SUPER#LAMER#KILLER#UNIT#A LA BOFORS    (100 KRONOR I DETALJHANDELN).    PETER APPROACHED SLOWLY.    DAMIEN LOADED HIS SUPER#LA...   WEAPON!        PETER GOT CLOSER.     DAMIEN AIMED AT THE LAMER.                THEN, TIME STOOD STILL FOR A SECOND!     THE TWO COMBATTANTS ATTACKED AT THE SAME TIME!      PETER SWUNG HIS BRANCH AT DAMIEN'S BALLS AND DAMIEN PULLED THE TRIGGER!                                COMMERCIAL BREAK...                  DRINK COCA#COLA!!! 
                      END OF BREAK...                 THE EFFECT OF DAMIENS WEAPON WAS DEVASTATING!!!    TWO BLOCKS WERE RUINED!!!   BUT NOT THE SUPER#LAMER.   NOT ONLY DID HE SURVIVE!  HE ALSO MANAGED TO HIT DAMIEN'S LEFT BALL!!!             POOR DAMIEN!     HIS FAMILY CAREER IS FUCKED UP!!!        NOW DAMIEN IS REALLY MAD!!!              HE GRABBED THE LAMER BY THE HAIR AND SHOOK HIM ON AND OFF FOR A FEW MINUTES! BUT NO EFFECT!!!   REMEMBER, THE CORK WAS ALREADY OUT OF THE HEAD!!!          THE LAMER REPLIED BY GRABBING DAMIEN'S RIGHT BALL AND MAKING A MILKSHAKE (ON BANANA) WITH IT!!!     DAMIEN'S LIFE PASSED THROUGH HIS EYES,   #WILL I EVER SEE MY MUM AGAIN, HE THOUGHT!   THEN PETER DROPPED THE CRUSHED BALL AND LOOKED FOR SOMETHING TO KILL DAMIEN WITH!!!      THEN, DAMIEN GOT UP WITH A GREAT EFFORT AND PULLED OUT HIS GREAT SCHWARZENEGGER#RAMBO#LUNDGREN#VAN DAMME#SCHPETZNAZ#KNIFE AND SLICED THE LAMER IN FORTYFIVE SMALL TRANCHES!         THE LAMER IS DEAD, I ASSURE YOU!!!                              NOW YOU HAVE GOT NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF!    IF YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR DAMIEN, WE CAN TELL YOU THAT HE'S ALLRIGHT AND HE'S RIGHT NOW HUNTING FOR MORE LAMERS!!!                       YEAAH!  SOME CREDZ...          CODE # MIMOS    
     MUSIC # MIMOS    
     FONT # MIMOS    
   TEXT # MIMOS N' VIRUS
       LOGO # OOPS     
                       A SHORT NOTE...              DAMIEN IS NOT A DEATHDEFIER ANYMORE...     WE FIRED HIM...