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File date:
2014-07-20 23:02:09
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    A ONE-PARTED    
  **  HOT-WIRED  ** 
     GRAPHICS BY    
     RICO HOLMES    
     ALL MUSIC BY   
       CODE BY      
       EL CUBO      

           hold on !      wheeeeeeeee !!!       here we go again !        those fabulous furry       crusaders      % are back . . .    this time with a little different kind of production.   we didn't know whether to call this a "mini music disk" or a "multi music demo" .. i guess "mini music disk" is most suitable, because this isn't much of a demo, is it?   allright, press the keys F1 - F4 for the 4 different tunes. All music was composed and tracked by      Dr.Awesome      % who is also writing this poor excuse for a scrolltext...   never mind, just send all your complaints about this scrolltext to dr.awesome ... i'm used to it !  The fantastic piece of art you are witnessing was made for us by the ever so great      rico holmes     % who also answers to the name "beanbag", but that's a different story...  beany, we're forever thankful and have already asked martyn to kiss your behind for us, so we hope it's all taken care of ...?  we hope you'll join martyn and come over to visit us here in norway as soon as possible ... let's see if you can beat martyn at downhill skiing ... also, if you have any more graphics that you want to get rid of, that shouldn't be any problem as long as we're around... which reminds me of the legendary words of dan akroyd . . "girls, as long as i have a face, you'll always have a place to sit". anyway, another guest artists in this "mini music disk" is the unbeatable and always helpful       dr.c of rsi     % thanks once again mate!   last but not least, the coding is by       el cubo        %      yup, this all started with the picture, rico holmes ladies and gentlemen, remember the name, you're gonna hear from him again, check out the games releases from "team 7" featuring more of rico's stunning work. we thought we'd make a little demo just to present the picture, but with a lot of unused songs in stock, we figured we might as well put them in here, and whopps! we had a "mini music disk" before we knew it...  you might also have noticed that this music isn't made with Noisetracker. I still think no other tracker can beat the Noisetracker, but for storing multiple songs in memory, you have to use synthesized sounds. I have not quit using Noisetracker and I don't think I ever will, but a little change now and then is nice.    wait a minute ... it's address time - if you'd like to get in touch with me, dr.awesome, then try this address :      dr.awesome      %      kroken 9      %   2010 strommen    %       norway       %    note :     n o   illegal stuff to this address, i am   n o t   interested in games swapping or any other kind of piracy, but feel free to contact me for music or any other reason.    well well well well well well as most of you probably know, the e.c.e.s. , european computer entertainment show, is closing up, and if you want to meet up with the crusaders over a beer or 12, why not come to the eces show in london, starting september 13th and lasting all the way thru to sept. 16th. we'll gather as many amiga freaks as possible, main organizer being martyn "super skier" of newsflash, so contact him if you want to join in !! you can reach newsflash on the following address :     newsflash uk     %      po box 13     %       ossett        %   west yorkshire   %  england  wf5 ote  %      or you can try to meet up with the crusaders, simply by being at the commodore display at exactly 18:00 on friday september 14 !   by the way, newsflash is by far the best disk magazine for the amiga, and if you still haven't checked it out, contact newsflash uk or u.g.a. holland immediately and see what they can do for you.  newsflash offers the most and the best in articles and utilities, humour, competitions, reviews and previews, and the best of music and art for the amiga. if you haven't seen it - you don't know what you're missing.  allright, that was the commercials, should we get on with the "helloes and general bollocks" perhaps ?   awrite, a personal hello from dr.awesome to stefan ufnowski of course ... hope to hear a lot from you in the months and years to come, steff. best of luck with your releases !  hello and "blimey you fat bald bastard" to       spadge         % you're the best friend anyone could ever have, mate.  lets stay in touch till the day we snuff it !!!   fyfan krampe i balla !! .. and this is where i refer to spadge's legendary reflections over the russian team in the football world cup 1990 .. here's how he saw it :  "i was most surprised to see the russian team heading home so early on in the proceedings, but i guess it's not that strange afterall, with a defensive back 4 by the name of naffhov, soddov, buggharov, and peesov..."  a true word of wisdom, spadge, the best you've written in a while, i often think of these words as i meditate and then fart in your general direction...   lots of helloes to all of ecstacy uk, especially havok and big al,  hey guys, when we get to london, i'll teach you all the norwegian curses you want, for one beer per curse !  howz that sound?   you can impress the girls with real international swearing !   hehe no seriously guys we're looking forward to meeting you in london, and don't forget those parties you were gonna throw!   many thanks and helloes to all the guys in     united forces    %  for all the favours etc. etc. and a very special thanks to rapid ram runner for his cool artwork. we'll definately use it !     hello to quantarc of amiga freelancers, thanks for the graphics to you as well !!   and the same goes for Accopole of "circus of power". thanks!     best greetings to garfield of germany ... congratulations on your new country !!     Hello to all the good old, loyal users of the Crusaders whq bbs in Norway, for instance wiseguy of triumph, the moose, gandalf, and of course the rest of em, we can't mention 900 names.     at last i just want to send out a short little "hello" to some amiga musicians who i respect for their fine work ... hi to :  4-mat of anarchy, uncle tom of razor, allister brimble, fred hahn, romeo knight of rsi, sebastian lentfert, devastator of burning independence, bug of razor, danko of phenomena... well it looks like that was all the greetings this time. if you're looking for a standard greetings-list, then you'll have to stick around for a while, cos it's not going to turn up...  greeting-lists are old-fasioned.  out.  the new thing is small personal helloes and messages to the best friends...   anyway, how about a little joke perhaps?   ok, there was these two older men who went to a restaurant to have some dinner...  well, when they'd got their food served and started to eat, one of them asks the other : "well, how did you find your steak, bill?", whereas bill replied : "i merely looked behind a potato, and there it was!"  hahahaha ok, so that wasn't a very good one... sorry for telling such lousy jokes, but believe me, i don't know any better ones! .. it isn't my fault, i'm just a result of poor environment and unfortunate circumstances... like the fact that my mom and dad ever met...  ok, i'll try another joke as well, but this one is about homosexuals, so if you're a faggot, reset your amiga now!  ok here goes...  ooops! wait a second, just thought i'd mention that this joke has in fact been presented on a crusaders demo before, but that was ages and ages and ages ago, and i don't think any of you remember.   ok, here we go... there was these two homosexuals who had been spending the night together in a hotel room, and had a really really good time all night, if you know what i mean...  well it had been going on all night, and now it was in the first of the early morning light and they were both exhausted. well, one of them got thirsty, so he said to the other "i'm just going to get a drink of water". and just as he said that, he noticed that the other faggot had a tremendous hard-on! a real boner, so to speak. well, the thirsty guy, said "you just lay off that, don't touch it, cos i wanna take care of that one myself, when i get back!". "ok" said the one with the boner.  so this guy goes out to get his drink of water, and then returns to the bedroom, where a horrible, disgusting sight meets his eyes. there's sperm all over the room.   a l l   over the room. on the curtains, dripping from the ceiling, and the walls are covered in sperm. yak!  "what the hell has been going on?!?" said the one coming back from the kitchen. "I told you not to touch that wonderful hard-on, cos I wanted it for myself!". the other one looked very confused as he said: "i didn't do nothing with it... all i did was fart !!!"    hohohohoho allright, settle down, settle down.  that was a good one, i know. i just hope there aren't any homsexuals reading, cos they'll be coming after me... oh dear, i better watch my back - literally !!!    here's another one, this one about lesbians..  two lesbians are leaving a nightclub, one of them says : "your face or my face ?"  hihi     ok, it's time to tell the world what's going on in crusaders at the moment. our plans for the near future is a new "multi-part" demo, the official eurochart issue no. 6, a special music disk called "crusaders does genesis", and maybe a couple of new intros. we're also working on an adventure game, real old-fashion style with text and graphics and music, but that's gonna take a while, because the game is still very early in the development stage. keep an eye out for more quality products coming to an amiga near you !    you wanna hear another joke?  ok, check this one out : a guy who studdered walked up to the counter in the local shop, and said "g-g-g-g-g-give  m-m-m-me  a  c-c-c-c-c-c-c-coke p-p-p-p-please". the guy behind the counter got him a coke and said "th-th-th-th-that will b-b-b-b-be 80 p. s-s-s-s-sir.."  the studdering guy walked a few feet away and started enjoying his coke, when another man came up to the counter, and said "I'll have a coke as well, please', and sure enough, the cashier got him a coke and said "Well my good man, that will be 80 p. sir.", perfcetly without any studdering at all. the studdering guy heard this, went up to the cashier and said "Hey m-m-m-an, a-a-a-a-are you m-m-m-m-making f-f-f-fun of me?!!!?!", whereas the cashier said "n-n-n-n-no, i-i-i-i'm making f-f-f-fun of that other g-g-g-g-uy!!!"    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahohohohohohohohohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo !!!!!!! let's glide over to the usual music talk, as i always do... the following text includes some of dr.awesome's personal view on a few new, and a few older albums, and general music small-talk. all music freaks, read on... as some of you know, there's a new prince album out, go check it out today, it's called "graffiti bridge" and it's the music score for a film by the same name. the film is also written by prince, and we're all looking forward to that aren't we?  hehe i know most of you guys out there hate prince, that's why i like writing about his music, to upset you. blaaarrrgghhhhh !  prince? that skinny mother****** with the high voice?   never mind...  here's a little joke taken from a prince song, called "Vicki Waiting"... have you heard about the woman who asked her lover "why is your organ so small"... he replied : "I didn't know i was playing in a cathedral..."   haaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhahahah !!!        sod it..      %  jean michel jarre has recently released "waiting for costeau", and as ever, it sells like nothing else. where does all the jarre fans come from? i reckon it's all those who like to think that they listen to "serious" music and don't want to listen to any disco crap... the pure and undisputable truth is that jarre's music is just as simple and fast-produced as any boring disco album, and listening to his music is just about as interesting as watching a tree grow.  boooooooring!  it's just a matter of owning the right pieces of equipment, and anyone could do what he does.  his new album was probably composed, recorded and produced within a couple of weeks.  the problem is that jarre can do that now, because loads and loads of people will buy the album anyway.  to everyone who listens to jarre ... wake up, listen closely to the album and ask yourself: is this interesting music?  nope. it's just monotoneous and boring.   next subject: right now i'm listening to marillion's "season's end" which is a great album. to hell with fish and his scotch bagpipes and his boring music, long live marillion and their new vocalist steve hogarth. i had the pleasure of seeing marillion play live with steve hogarth in front, and they are better now than they've ever been before.  i think that we've seen yet another proof that the band itself is much more important than the vocalist. it happened to genesis back in 1974 and now it's happened to marillion. although their front guy and vocalist fish left them, they haven't lost their touch at all. this just proves that fish was never really important to marillion. it was the other guys, steve rothery, ian mosley, mark kelly and pete trewavas, who made the music, and created the "marillion" atmosphere. fish was just a singer and was easily replaced by steve hogarth, who does a better job than fish ever did. so there.  here's something you should try: on a cold, grey and rainy day, just stay inside, put on your jamas, light up the fireplace, pull out the telephone, make yourself a nice cup of tea, put on "season's end" on the stereo, and just sit back and enjoy it. i guarantee maximum pleasure!   anyway, another band which does great these days is "rush". surprisingly few people have even heard of this fantastic band. hmmmm, strange. well, they have their personal style, but their music should appeal to many, especially the latest album "presto", produced by the genious of sound, rupert hine.  i suggest you go and check out this album the next time you're in a record store.   rock group "magnum" has released a new album, and although i haven't heard it myself, el cubo here says it's pretty good, so that might be worth checking out. for those of you who like a piece of decent, all-black, down-2-ground slamming funk, i suggest you check out the latest album from george clinton, which isn't really brand new anymore, but who cares? The album, titled "the cinderella theory" contains some great funk and was recorded and engineered in prince's very own studioes at "paisley park".  another funky "thang" worth checking out is the latest from "the time", called "pandemonium". funk to the bones, raw super-hot rythm, with neat guitar riffs. danceable as nothing else, with a lot of humour put into the lyrics.   ... . . . bip bop ... . awrite, i think this should be enough bollocks for one scrolltext - it's time to go and do something useful, like yoga or something...  allright then - see you all in the next crusaders production - same time - same boogie...                       sniff..