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THIS SCROLL MIGHT DISTURB YOU. IT IS NOT AT ALL UNLIKELY THAT THESE WORDS AND THE TRUTH THAT LIES THEREIN WILL HAVE SUCH A DEVASTATING INFLUENCE ON YOUR APPREHENSION OF THE UNIVERSE AND PERHAPS ON YOUR SANITY THAT YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN A STATE OF PERMANENT AND EXTREME CONFUSION. IT CAUSES ME GREAT PAIN TO BE THE ONE TO REVEAL THIS, THE ULTIMATE AND FATAL KNOWLEDGE, AS I AM AWARE THAT THIS ANNOUNCEMENT MAY WELL BE THE BEGINNING OF AN AGE OF CHAOS AND DEGENERATION. YET, I AM PREPARED TO SACRIFICE THESE DARK YEARS TO MAKE WAY FOR AN ERA OF ENLIGHTENMENT THAT WILL SPRING LIKE FRESH WATER FROM A DARK WELL IN THE MISTY CAVERNS BEYOND THE BORDERS OF TIME. I SHALL NOT BE THE ONE TO JUDGE YOU IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO FACE THIS, AS I MYSELF WISH FOR LITTLE MORE THAN TO LIVE ON WITHOUT THIS REALISATION CASTING ITS OMINOUS SHADOW OVER ALL OF MY ACTIONS, AND IT IS THEREFORE I GIVE YOU THIS LAST CHANCE TO TURN YOUR BACK AT THE ILLUMINATING LIGHT OF THE RIGHTNESS OF MY WORDS, AND RETURN TO YOUR MERRY LIFE, UNAWARE OF THE ACTUAL STATE OF THINGS, BY LEAVING THIS DEMO AND RETURNING TO THE PAWNS OF THE EARTH. SO BE IT. YOU HAVE STAYED, AND THUS I WILL SHARE WITH YOU WHAT I HAVE HITHERTO ONLY HINTED AT: THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS. THIS SAID, I KNOW THAT MY TASK IS FULFILLED, AND SO I WILL LEAVE THIS IMPORTANT MATTER AND TELL YOU THE NEARLY AGONIZINGLY INTERESTING TALE OF T H E G R E E T I N G S ! AND HERE THEY ARE: SPECTRE OMICRON Q BRANCH (THANX FOR THE BEER) SCOOPEX MUTE 101 REBELS WARFALCONS DEADZONE THE GANG PHOENIX TRILOGY DEMONS D.MOB TOP SWAP HYPNOSIS LEGION RED SECTOR INC. PUBLIC ENEMIES CRANE SIGN TWILIGHT TOMMY KNOCKERS TETRAGON NORTHSTAR ABANDON WORLD VISION WIZZCAT TORNADO RIGOR MORTIS FLASH PRODUCTION POWERLORDS NECATRIX RAZOR 1911 UNIQUE MARAUDERS DRAKPAK ELITE SUBWAY CLASSIC HORIZON BYTERAPERS PHENOMENA ACTIVE POWERDRIVE REVOLUTION THE LINK URGLOAD RIOT SOLDIER OF FORTUNE AND PROBABLY A FEW OTHERS WHO ARE LIKELY TO SEND US LETTERS DRENCHED IN HIGHLY POISONOUS LIQUIDS.AND WITH THAT, MY JOURNEY HAS REACHED ITS END, AND I WILL RETURN TO THE FAIR LANDS BEYOND THE NORTHERN HORIZON... AND NOW, HORACE WIMP LEAVES YOU WITH THE FOLLOWING WORDS OF ALMOST INFINITE WISDOM: HE WHO TRUSTS IN THE LORD OF A THOUSAND EGG YOLKS HAS NOTHING TO SELL! (GO AHEAD, READ IT ONCE MORE!)
WHO AM \I? WHO AM\ I? I'M EVERYBODY\. I'M NOBODY. AAARGH!!!!!!! SORRY FOR THE WEIRD SHITTALK BUT AFTER THREE DAYS OF NONSTOP COMPUTING,INCIDENCES LIKE THESE HAVE A BAD HABIT OF POPPING UP IN MY MIND.I FEEL LIKE A ZOMBIE.A ZOMBIE DEJECTED BY STONES THAT IS. RIGHT NOW I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT TO WRITE IN THIS FUCKING SCROLL.MY DOCTOR TELLS ME I'M SUFFERING OF THE NOT-KNOWING-WHAT-TO-WRITE SYNDROME.HIS LONG LASTING ADVICE IS: TELL THE CREDITS! IN LACK OF ANYTHING BETTER I'LL FOLLOW IT. HERE THEY COME:\ CODING AND BORING DEBUGGING BY ME,GRAPHICS BY LIZARD(EXCEPT LEVELMETERS BY TRITON) AND MUSIC BY HORACE WIMP\(BE CAREFUL OUT THERE WIMPY). ALL YOU LAZY FELLOWS IN SHORTAGE OF BAD EXCUSES LISTEN CAREFULLY: I'M SORRY I COULD NOT DELIVER THE STUFF TODAY,BUT WE HAVE JUST BOUGHT A PUPPY WHICH I HAD TO FONDLE WITH THE WHOLE WEEKEND FEEL FREE TO USE THIS ONE WHICH I HEARD FROM ONE MEMBER IN MY GROUP.BUT I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY IF YOU SEND A SMALL AMOUNT OF RUBEL AS A SIGN OF YOUR BIG APPRECIATION.IF I GET ENOUGH MONEY I MIGHT EVEN BUY A TOP-TRIMMED LADA TURBO WITH WOOD COVERED SPORT RIMS. OH NO,I CAN NOW SEE AN ENORMOUS PHANTOM COMING TOWARDS ME,WITH HATE IN HIS LOOK,POWER IN HIS FISTS AND MURDER ON HIS CONSCIENCE.I THINK HE IS GOING TO GET ME!!! -DO NOT BE AFRAID BOY,IT'S ONLY ARCHER COMING TO RELIEVE YOU IN SCROLLWRITING WELL WELL, THIS IS ARCHER, THE NEWEST MEMBER OF AURORA TYPING... THE LAST HACKER SHOULDN'T GET A FINGER INTO SCROLL-WRITING, SO I TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY TO SAY A FEW WORDS, THE PEOPLE FROM AURORA PRESENT AT THIS CONFY IS: THE LAST HACKER (CODER), DREAMWEAVER (CODING, MUZAK AND GFX), SPY (GFX), HORACE WIMP (MUZAX), LIZARD (GFX), SPUTNIK (CODER), ACKURAT (SWAPPER), TOM (SWAPPER), DOLBY (MUZAX, SWAPPER), GHERKIN (CODING), ARCHER (CODING, GFX), HELLCAT (GFX), TRITON (CODING, GFX), MR LAPP (EQUIPMENT-CARRIER (HAW-HAW!)), NOPE! TO BE SERIOUS, IT'S GOOD TO HAVE SOMEONE CARRYING 6 TONS OF STUFF.... AAAAAHHHHHAAAAHHAAAAAA! WELL, AS YOU ALREADY KNOW, THIS IS ARCHER TYPING AND HE IS TOTALLY OUT OF INSPIRATION! NO, NOT TOTALLY BUT ALMOST... OH, YES! I ALMOST FORGOT, I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MY (MY) LATEST EXPRESSION: ARSIST @ AND NOW I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY, IT'S ABOUT HOW ATARI BECAME WHAT IT IS. HERE WE GO: ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WERE TWO COMPUTERS, AN AMIGA (YEAH!) AND AN ATARI (HMM!) ST. THESE TO COMPUTERS WERE FIGHTING ABOUT A CONTRACT WITH CANON. AFTER A COUPLE OF YEARS' QUARREL, THEY DUELLED. THE ATARI THREW ITS MIDI-INPUT AT THE AMIGA BUT THE AMIGA PARRIED WITH ITS STEREO-SOUND. THERE THE ATARI STOOD, TOTALLY UNARMED AND HELPLESS. THE AMIGA ROSE ITS BATTLE-BLITTER AND GAVE THE ATARI A LETHAL BLOW, CLEAVING ITS CPU. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT A COMPUTER WITHOUT FUNCTIONING COMPONENTS, IS NO COMPUTER, AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT IS.... NOTHING! @ BY NOW I AM TIRED OF TYPING PILES OF SHIT WHICH NOBODY READS, SO I'M GONNA HAND THE KEYBOARD OVER TO TRITON.... DEPRESSION... A FEW HOURS AGO THE ENTIRE WORLD TURNED BLACK AND WHITE... MY FUCKING INTERNAL DRIVE COLLAPSED COMPLETELY IN THE VERY BGINNING OF THIS CONFERECE!!! ..DEPRESSION... I WON'T BE ABLE TO CODE FOR SOME TIME... (DON'T SMILE SO DAMN HAPPILY!!!) IF YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ME, ANY CONTRIBUTIONS WILL BE THANKFULLY ACCEPTED. BUT NOW LET'S CHANGE TO MORE CHEERFUL TOPICS, LIKE POLITICS ? NO LET'S TALK ABOUTDOLBY'S TASTE (?) IN MUSIC. HE IS PLAYING SOME LOUD CRAP (ULAN BATOR (ISN'T THAT YHE CAPITAL OF MONGOLIA?)) ON AN OLD GRAMMOPHONE HE USES (MOSTLY) TO CONNECT THE COMPUTER TO TWO LOUDSPEAKERS... IT DOESN'T SOUND VERY GOOD. NOW HE'S PLAYING AN OLD SWEDISH DISCO HIT BY 'GYLLENE TIDER' (GOLDEN TIMES (?))... IT DOESN'T SOUND ANY BETTER!!