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This is ILLEGAL #31, rewritten from paper by King Fisher / Triad.



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|  | |        | |        | |         | |         | |  |   |  | |        |
+--+ +--------+ +--------+ +---------+ +---------+ +--+   +--+ +--------+

                                BUT WHO CARES?




the ballad of...

As everybody has its man behind the mask telling stories without giving his
real name, I'm gonna publish every month a column written by a guy everybody
knows, but doesn't know...

Welcome ladeies and gentlemen, my worthy name is GOGO BROWN and I'm not going
to tell you my real name until I'm forced to do so.

Okey, using an alias means I can talk and slag everybody off if I want to.
That's turning me on. But I'm not going to slag off anyone this time, even
though I was given well damn reason for doing so, so nobody can be sure...

I'm also present at almost every copyparty around, so be careful of what you
say and better wash your mouths with soap...

As last month's "ILLEGAL" was a whol slagging-off to all brain damaged U.S.
importing groups, I'd like to set this idea forth. Up to now all guys hated to
see Americans destroying European cracking culture, putting their at a rate of
99% non-working intros in front of a game Europeans cracked and even being
proud of such an act.

Yet the climax of all this wasn't reached when one can observe that every file
is uploaded which name is unknown, no matter what shit or crap it might be...

So it was no surprise to see the damn yankees importing European demos! And not
only the good ones... Would you like it if I go and put my ugly intro in front
of your program? But still feel even honoured when Americans do import their

The other thing pissing me off like nothing else in this entire world is to see
Yanx being proud of releasing games made with that hell of "Shoot 'Em Up
Construction Kit", though every single ass is able to recognize that if he
takes one look at the game...

Where does this lead to? Total destruction of the brilliant idea of modem
trading itself... What do you think? Jeff is so kind and promised to send every
letter to me if you want to talk to me...

And you see that you already reached the end of my first column "the ballad of
Gogo Brown". Next issue I'm definately going to slag some asses off after I
called them and told them I was an American and just wanted to talk to them, I

should have recorded every word I was told, you would wonder what your best
friends are saying about you when you talk to them and they don't have the
slightest idea you might get your hands at what they're talking about... so...
until next issue!
                                                   Yours sincerely, Gogo Brown!


Yeh, the news spread faster than my death (caused by a certain car accident)
well I'm working for nobody less than SCG from now on...

But you can be sure, that nothing's gonna change, though I'm also raping an
Amiga right now, yeh. But you can expect more news from the Amiga scene as I'm
gonna be more informed in such things from now on... I hope.

A big thanx for all has to go all days to MR.PINGE, IXION and JANITOR for
building me up and making the whole climbing possible, I won't forget you.

By the way, I won't forget any of the following guys of course as well and I
also use this opportunity to send my best wishes to: BEASTIE BOYS (Captain
Future, Accept >thanx for the postcard< and Axiom), EAGLE SOFT INC. (sonofa
Mitch and Butcher), FAIRLIGHT (Strider and GoGollum), IKARI (Justice >catch the
thief< and Dik), the NEW BENCOR BROTHERS (Andy >the best friend one can have at
a party<), BROS (the entire Dutch and Norway section, especially Paco and
Gene), RADWAR (>all men on the ship including the big boss and the writer of
that letter to the ASM<), COMMANDOFRONTIER (Mad All >good luck<, Ram and Leto
II, and Photony >of course!<), TRIANGLE (Swyx, Cozmix and the giant baby,
Scratch), COSMOS (SSD and Antitrack >I couldn't fix it<), THE WANDERER GROUP
(the Beerman and the idiot I had to spend almost 4 days with >Easy!<), INC (two
times Davez), DOUGHNUT CRACKING SERVICE (Mis-tuh Zu-luh >C U in December
Andy?<), the whole JCS bunch (thanx for the posters, Fozz), Shining 8 (Stet and
Reptil >but I can only afford trading with one of you<), REDLINE (again sorry
Alech), END OF CENTURY (yol Pet's Band man), ZENITH (Where's my mag, handy
Hendy), HOTLINE, HACKERWORLD (sorry for 4getting you last issue...), SPHINX,
ORION, ZENOBITS (late but it comes), my old dood IAN, ASH & DAVE, IAN & MIC,
all cnet heroes, PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1 (Colin dooood), RED SECTOR INTL. (take er
easy, man!), T.K. (still living after 'London'?), Hi-tec (?), D'jay (watt geht
ab?), ACU (netter letter), FAME (Michael wird Vater) and all the SCOUSERS,
Weetibicks (Mega mega awesome post office), Masters of the universe: Le-man ,
Junkie, errmmm... eh? I meant... Chunkie of course and Webb ster!

Special thanx to Carlsberg, Mutti und Pappi, Joy Division, BFBS, New Order, the
Smiths, Morrisey, Frankenheim Alt and Funke Alt for all much needed supply
during hard hours of typing...

Next month, same column?
                                                                     Jeff Smart

The PCS 1988.

Here we are, London 1988. We arrived late in the night, stand on the
Westminister Bridge and listened to the bells of BIG BEN at 12.

Saturday, September 17th. I didn't know it would be one of the best days in my
life. After MR.CURSOR, TK and I went through London and I bought several
records and T-shirts in record stored on Oxford Street we took a taxi cab and
drove back to Chelsea to Earl's Court. Yo man. THOUSANDS (and this time it is
no damn exaggeration to talk about thousands) of people wanted to get in, we
bought our tickets and went up the stairs. And you wouldn't believe. You
couldn't see a damn thing, because it was too overcrowed, well 'overcrowded' is
not the right expression, bit I'm sure you know what I mean.

We walked past the OCEAN stand at the entry of the show and I thought that it
could be hard to find someone among all those people. The first guy I met was
CHARLES DEENEN from MANIACS OF NOISE, who was about to eat something at the
snack bar. Then, after walking round and round again, I still couldn't believe

I've been here for some hours and I still didn't know where the different
stands were... Then, at the THALAMUS stand I met old JESTER from PUBLIC ENEMY
NO.1 and my old lar LAZER from the NEW BENCOR BROTHERS who at once pulled me
down into a bar and bought some beer for us (thanx, Andy!).

Walking over the show again I finally met the SCOUSERS (Weetibix, Chunk and
Lee), IKARI (Nik, Just Ice, Tridos, Fletch, Excell), DCS (Mr.Sulu), JCS (the
whole bunch), ZENITH (Steve + Hendy), BOD of HOTLINE, THE GRONK, GENE from BROS
coming from NORWAY... and later on, on the THALAMUS stand (it became our
meeting point) my old friends from COMMANDOFRONTIER (Mad All, Ram, Leto 2.....)
and FAIRLIGHT (Strider, Gollum, Excalibur...), TCS even some guys from TRANSCOM
(naturally not saying a single word).

We all went down into the bar and drank some beers... Ha! The final meeting,
IKARI + FAIRLIGHT + CFR + NBB + TRIAD + SCG + .... all together, talking for
some hours... then back again on the show. As the show closed around 8, I
finally met all I wanted to meet, well almost (IAN?).

Back on Sunday morning, this time we were able to have a look at all those
arcade machines, preview shows, promotion gags, company's stands, posters, bag,
t-shirts, people, equipment and what the hell...

Again we all met on the THALAMUS stand, though I personally think of OCEAN's
one was the very best. Lots of playable games (ROBOCOP, TYPHOON, OPERATION
WOLF...) and arcade machines, promotion gags (a guy disguised as ROBOCOP
itself...). We walked around making jokes, sitting down in the bar. We also
went to the COMMODORE USER stand, made some photos.

But there was really no use to test a game, because on every single arcade
machine you could count 50 small English kids (Oh my God, they're all talking
English!) kicking in their balls... and playing...

I was able to play 'ARMALYTE' from THALAMUS (Delta 2), 'ROCKET RANGER', 'LORDS
OCEAN on AMIGA, a very bad looking 'AFTERBURNER' from ACTIVISION on 64 and what
the dickens I don't remember exactly everything else, but it was damn cool.
Cooler than anything else before. It really was the show!

Mr.Just Ice just grabbed some games and previews just out of the hands of the
software companies (well done!) or took several equipment with him (yol!).

Well... as the time came to say goodbye (FAIRLIGHT and CFR left already on
Saturday...) we all decided to meet again as fast as possible and this could be
at Venlo in December, but... Sitting in the car right now I swear to myself
I'll be back next year when the PCS 1989 will take place.

This weekend will stay in my mind forever and ever as it was really one of the
best a computer freak could imagine, and when do you have the time to meet all
British hackers, the guys from Compunet, all the software companies (really
all!!!) and many interesting guys? Only one time a year when it's PC SHOW time.

See you around next year!
                                                               MR. J.W. SMART!?


Aaaahh. Without taking the glasses down, you pour half a liter of probably the
best beer in the world and you feel that odd feeling in your stomach, in your
head... in your brain. You returned from the meeting of the leading groups,
successful as always.

Hum, the old religion died... you changed the colour of your school bag, only
one group is alive. But what is it? They keep working their ass off, but for
what? Others, so-called good friends, go and just steal all brilliant ideas in
one second while it took them centuries to find them. Bad thing. For what? When
friends become enemies when you turn your back on them. It's really a bad
thing. But who believes a clown? And the drum makes you think faster...

Small kids, shooting stars think they could rule the world. But how? Without
any responsibility? Just for some ripped off ideas? Bad thing. You also find
yourself in betraying the old things, when you took a step closer to the new
system, number 16... but, still your fingers type for no.4 and will always do?
But for what?

Other idiots just tell you to go on, but for what? You examine your wallet, but
nothing is left... Watched from the wings as the scenes were replaying, we saw
ourselves now as we never saw ourselves before. Made a promise for an old life,
made a victim out of your life. When you stand at the door and you trip to the
floor and you feel you can touch all the noise is to mitch, eh, much... and the
seed that are sown and are no longer your own... just a minor operation to
force the final ultimatum. Bad thing.

You shake your head. Is this REALLY ALL you lived for? Nothing... where are the
young men? Where have they been? Knocked on the doors of hell's darker
chambers, pushed to the limits, we dragged ourselves in...

You feel very bad 'cuz you're thinking of the 'good ole' times, but you
couldn't compete, 'cuz you've been too green behind your ears. Bad thing.

You always said: "Be careful... there's another meaning as just the colour..."
but nobody believes you. Who believes a goddamn clown? Nobody, sad thing. BLUE,
everything's gone blue...

I don't think your timing is that flawed, but there's still this appeal
everyone of us kept through his life...

Girls? But who trusts a mad boy? Nobody, no try... no love lost! Who needs it?
I do... very sad thing. We fought for good, stood side by side, our friendship
never died. But stranger ways that froze on highs our vision touched skies...
Mortal list, the points to prove, I point to prove...

I always told 'em that it means something different than just a colour, but...
what shall I say... depressing... Excuse me, but... I had to tell you, a weight
on my shoulder...

Where have they been? Weary inside, now our hearts lost forever. These rituals
showed up the door for our wanderings. OPENED AND SHUT, then slammed in my
face. I took a rope, put it round my neck, I didn't know it's that easy... take
off for a new life.

Never to be continued. Bye, you all!


If one was wondering who this SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP was when some cracks have
been released around beginning of 1987, then nowadays every small kid has heard
of the boys from Liverpool, they really worked hard to get that status they
have today! I spoke to WEETIBIX, their maincracker who advanced without doubts
to one of the very best crackers on earth...

?:    Gimme a hint at your age!

!!!:  I'm currently at the ripe 'old' age of 16!

?:    When did you buy your computer and why?

!!!:  Well my parents bought it for me back in '85... I don't think they knew
      what they let themselves in for! I also have an AMIGA... but not for

?:    Do you have any special reasons for cracking?

!!!:  Well, the enjoyment really (some one's got to crack all these hard
      games!). I don't have any idols just respect the good crackers in general
      (or the dead ones!).

?:    Who are your best friends?

!!!:  Well some lamer from Ger... ermm Jeff Smart!, all the Scouse boys,
      Butcher / ESI, Fozz / JCS, the old TCS bunch and the rest who likes me!

?:    Do you have any enemies?

!!!:  People who start out to be seem to make up there 'differences' after
      having a talk. So, no, I don't have any enemies.

?:    When was SCG founded?

!!!:  It was founded way back in July '86 but we didn't do much in the way of
      "cracking". Things changed, we began mail trading (YEAH!) and here we

?:    What are your fave...

!!!:  Demo: Borderzone from Mat & Psy
      Game: Giana Sisters
      Music: Arkanoid, I like many music groups, Talking Heads, U2...
      Movies: All kinds, except all the gay romance shit!

?:    What are your sparetime acts?

!!!:  Wot sparetime?!!! Well, SLEEP (when there is some!)

?:    What do you think about the 64's future?

!!!:  The 64 will continue for a while yet, but inevitably, the AMIGA (not ST!)
      will become the ruler!

?:    How did you get your name?

!!!:  One time in '85 I altered the scroll text to a game... I just thought of
      'WEETIBIX' and it stuck!

?:    Why did you, yourself, leave for a while?

!!!:  I grew bored with and tired of the cracking scene.

?:    Why did you come back?

!!!:  I wasn't bored anymore!

?:    What's up?

!!!:  Not that old joke, Jeff, pleeeeez!

+:    Thanx a lot.

+:    No probbie-dobbie.


Oh yes, the winter is coming... but that doesn't mean nothing happened...

* Well, as already everybody knows I myself left TRIAD and went to Liverpool,
better said I joined SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP. But that's not all, I also bought
an Amiga! Of course I'm not gonna drop the 64, otherwise I would drop and old
friend and I never drop old friends... Okay, enough about me...

* Questions if TRIAD is still existing should be answered with the following
list: ACU, the only active Triad cracker is gonna stop computer activities
totally. Hi-tec started to work, F.A.M.E. are fully concentrating to work only
for companies, THE SARGE went over to FAIRLIGHT, as you know MR.PINGE, IXION,
JANITOR (there was something about that guy... if I could remember) quitted 64
biz some time ago, DEEJAY and T.K. are about to decide which offer to take and
join a new group, THE GRONK didn't say anything about still working Triad, so
you see, Triad are: 801 DC and TWILIGHT, and if I add that the last things
Triad released were only German products (without any exception) you can gues
that something is gone... forever?

* The list of Scousers looks like: Weetibix, Trans X, Chunk, Webb and JS

* As modem trading becomes more and more important BEASTIE BOYS decided to take
a new, but talented importing guy from Switzerland named AXIOM and he already
proved that modem trading is not the only thing he can do, but also

* Surprise, surprise... JJ THE BREAKER is back! That means that the good old
UNTOUCHABLE CRACKING FORCE released some cracks, but I have some doubts if they
will be the big rival for EAGLE SOFT.

* Germany's best cracker was caught by the police, I'm talking about
MR.ZEROPAGE (who was working for RED SECTOR) on the Amiga. Rumours say that the
police got informed by some traitors from POWERSTATION, bad luck anyway.

* As everybody knows this MARK of FUSION made up a new group when he became too
afraid of the name FUSION, and he called this crap PHOENIX talking bullshit
about lots of future releases, but except giving the F.A.S.T. (Federation
Against Software Theft) hints about English craking groups, not much came out
from him.

* People said I'm myself changing the groups as others are changing their
underwear, though I stayed for about 8 1/2 month in TRIAD. But DARK STAR is now
in his 3rd group within one month. First in BROS, then DRIVE and now OCTAGON,
wondering what comes next?

* We both, MAD ALL / CFR and me officially declare that none of us can be
called responsible for being EVIL EDDY, who's writing the best parts in Jayce's
magazine "Delirious Mag.", I would give a hell to know who that is, because
he's very good...

* What the helluva fuck happened to the good old English post? They had a 3
weeks post strike that was really pissing a lot of guys (including me, of
course) off... Anyway, after another week they seem to be back in old speed,
but I hope that Express letters are not gonna take 4 weeks again...

* Latest news from THE WANDERER GROUP are that INSIDE THE BUILDING, formerly
known as RUBBERDUCK, also stopped all computer activities because of no time
remaining because of working... but what is the real reason, Markus?

* Funny, funny... As everybody was wondering how ACTIVISION would be able to
produce a better "R-TYPE" than KATAKIS from German RAINBOW ARTS, ACTIVISION
finally bought all rights from R.A. and are soon going to release KATAKIS
again, just with one single change and that's the name... I'm wondering who
will be so silly and to crack it again, anyway I'm planning to get through the
whole game without a trainer as I'm reaching currently Level 7...

* Moving over to the Dutch mountains, FIRE EAGLE just changed their name into
SCOUTS (but without CRACKING GROUP behind, any parellels with dead or existing
cracking groups are pure coincidence, eh?).

* Ha, everybody was afraid of going to Venlo again 'cause "It might be possible
that the cops are coming" and so what? Nothing happened there last month (also
concerning new stuff), so it seems to be a safe place to take out our fights...

* It can be taken from a German pirate magazine called "NEWS" that MCG spread
the word that they cracked already "GREAT GIANA SISTERS 2" though it is going
to be released by RAINBOW ARTS in a couple of weeks as the production manager

* If anybody out there is interested in tasting French balls, not French fries,
then he just has to show up at a certain meeting at a certain place in Holland,
when anyone from TRANSCOM (except Jayce) is meeting their best friend,
respectively me. No use to warn them, 'cuz they won't understand it, I don't
speak French and they don't speak English and won't have much time to repeat
learning it...

* MR.CURSOR of THE WANDERER GROUP is gonna sell his Amiga after "finding out
how the machine works in seven days" and then put an Archimedes on his desk...

* Well, I'm not feeling unproud to have a group in my country which is able to
import, okey?

* I was surprised by getting letters from ISRAEL, TURKEY, YUGOSLAVIA and
BULGARIA last month, but one thing made me think hard. A letter from SPAIN from
a group called "EL TORO CRACKING SERVICE". Perhaps someone wanted to make a
joke with me, 'cuz I invented the name just as a joke on the European cracker
map a long time ago... Indeed very funny thing.

* Thus ends it...

Special thanx for news and stuff like that to: CF/BB, ESI, SCG-bunch, DAVE E.,
NY, TK, TWG, Jayce and RSI.

Well, then later on...
                                                                       J. Smart


A big surprise caught me, because the game was not that good as regards the
gameplay on the 64. But not only the graphics have been well improved on the
Amiga, so have the gameplay. Now it also saves the highest scores. TYNESOFT's
SUMMER OLYMPIAD claims to be one of the best sport simulations on 16 bit: 92.

Yet another good old 64 conversion and except of the sound one could also or
better play the 8 bit version without any losses. The graphics are not much
better as they normally should be and the sound is, compared to other sounds
possible on the Amiga, nothing special: 61.

Ha! Only a few games deserve to be called 'standard-setting' (e.g. 'Defender of
the Crown') and here we've got yet another one! Okey, those who can't play
chess won't have that fun with it, but those who can will be fascinated.
ELECTRONIC ARTS are going to reach the name of a top Amiga games producing
company, their latest release BATTLE CHESS features chess with brilliant
graphics, fantastic animation and lot of fun during the gameplay, 10 different
levels, human vs human or computer... Just have a look at it! 94.

Aha, another 64 conversion and it's really not the worst one. The graphics and
sound make well use of the Amiga's capacities. Well, the game was good on the
64 and is even better on the Amiga, let's say: 93 points out of 100.

A new shoot 'em up by PSYGNOSIS should be a real top hit, but it is not. Okey,
the graphics and sprites are not bad, but the game is too slow and too boring
as there exists lots of other more interesting shoot 'em ups, 76 pts.

The game is almost the same as on the 64, but is slightly better. The sound
should have been better, but it is still a fascinating game, 87 pts.

This game is better known as "Zarch" on the Archimedes. The game is really fast
but somehow it gets boring mainly because of the idiotical movements with the
mouse, anyway: 84 pts.

The long awaited new masterpiece by "Defender of the Crown" developers
CINEMAWARE featuring good old ADOLF H.? Though the game will be definately not
published in Germany, it is really a good and difficult one with brill graphix,


Yeah, sponsored by ADIDAS, OCEAN managed to produce the best 'destroy-your-
joystick' sporting game since DECATHLON. Fantastic graphics and animations and
a very good sound make the game to be a real hit: 92.

The new one in the neverending series of MAGNETIC SCROLLS' adventures. Okey,
they're good, but it starts to get more and more boring, take now CORRUPTION
where you have to read lots of texts to proceed, nothing could really make me
to play this game as intensive as I played 'GUILD OF THIEVES' before... 79.

A big dissapointment, the first part is a very, very ugly shoot 'em up stage,
only the second stage deserves to be called 'GAME OVER 2', but the MARTIN
GALWAY sound is missing over the whole game... 49.

The new shocker by ANDREW BRAYBROOK, it's impossible to describe this game, but
it's brilliant gameplay, as expected: 93.

This could also have been one of those MICROPROSE simulations but is not, as it
is from ACTIVISION. Anyway the game is fucking ace, who cares? 94.

This game is coming from the German company RAINBOW ARTS and you see at once
that it's from Germany, because the programmers are not able to write some
simple game descriptions in correct English. A very lousy game for German
standards, veeery boring with some programming bugs, 0.

The long awaited follow up to one of the classic 'Beat 'em up' games, and
PALACE added options to fight either with the guy or with the girl, they added
chambers, different directions, lots of new creatures and in spite of all that,
the game cannot reach it's predecessor, because thinking and beating do nor
belong together, 86.

Those who liked JOE BLADE, will like JOE BLADE 2, the others not. 69.

is the best shoot 'em up ever, and as it is so close to R-TYPE (the Arcade!!!),
ACTIVISION bought it from RAINBOW ARTS and are gonna release it as R-TYPE soon!
Fantastic graphics and fast gameplay, lots of action and saveable high scores
make the game to be a real classic on the 64, wow... 96.


Congratulations to JUST ICE of IKARI...

I.   Just Ice - IKARI
III. Gene - BROS

Thanx to:

JUST ICE of IKARI (GBR) for "grabbing" some games and previews just out of the
hands of the Software companies (e.g. "Game Over II", "Joe Blade II", "Starray
Pr."...) and for a great time at the show.

LAZER from NEW BENCOR BROTHERS for getting all of his friends a beer down below
in the bar ("Hicks"), for meeting the guys from Commodore User and everything

GENE from BROS (NOR) for coming from Norway to England, staying in the most
expensive hotel in LONDON ("Hilton"), letting stay Mr.Zulu of DCS with him.
                                                                     Jeff Smart

| Cracker of the month "November '88"               |                 PUT    |
+---------------------------------------------------+                STAMP   |
| S.C.G.       :     Please sign here:              |                HERE!   |
| E.S.I.       :                                    |                        |
| IKARI        :     _____________________          |                        |
| FAIRLIGHT    :                                    |                        |
| BROS         :     Handle:                        |                        |
| ZENITH       :     Group :                        |                        |
| TRIAD        :     Adress:                        |                        |
| T.W.G.       :                                    |                        |
| RADWAR       :                                    |                        |
| COSMOS       :                                    |                        |
| TRIANGLE     :                                    |                        |
| WIZAX        :     Your opinion about "ILLEGAL":  |                        |
| D.C.S.       :                                    |        To:             |
| BEASTIE BOYS :                                    |        ILLEGAL         |
| SHINING 8    :                                    |        PLK 123144 C    |
| HOTLINE      :                                    |        4250 BOTTROP    |
| STRIKE FORCE :                                    |        WEST GERMANY    |
| V.C.F.       :                                    |                        |
| ORION        :                                    |                        |
| LEGEND       :                                    | It's                   |
|                                                   | "ILLEGAL"              |
|                                                   |  but who cares?        |
|                                                   |    I DO !!!            |


Everybody is talking about the PC ENGINE, a new cool game console from the land
of the rising sun, Japan. It's as big as a normal 5 1/4 disk and features
brilliant graphics and fantastic sound effects. Games like R-TYPE, VICTORY RUN,
GALLAGA '88, CHAN AND CHAN and others are available at a price of more than 30
pounds each. (= 90 DM = $50).

The whole PC ENGINE is at the mo at a price of 500 DM = $300 = 130 pounds, but
as the games are too expensive and there is no chance to 'crack' them, it still
is no real alternative to the home computers.


Thanx for the many postcards you sent back to me, great fun, and so I think
that the 'cracker of the month' charts are getting more representative as about
35 guys took the chance and voted for it! Yeah, among the postcards 5 guys will
be taken out and sent an "ILLEGAL" for free!!!!

Well, I have to excuse myself for presenting this time an "ILLEGAL" in a
somewhat lower level than usual, due to my problems with school. I'm running my
last year and so every test is very important... My week (10th-15th of October)
looks like this:

MONDAY:    skip school, work on "ILLEGAL", learn for Maths.
TUESDAY:   Maths test taking 4 hours time, then work on "ILLEGAL".
WEDNESDAY: print "ILLEGAL", work on layout, copy "ILLEGAL", learn for German.
THURSDAY:  German test taking also 4 hours, then learn for Geography.
FRIDAY:    Geography test that takes 6 (!) hours then sleep.
SATURDAY:  Venlo: release "ILLEGAL".

You see, not much time remained this week to be really up-to-date, but I
promise to produce a very good "ILLEGAL" for the December meeting anyway... but
next issue will be published on November, 19th again at Venlo... so all
articles should be sent up to the 10th of November to me pleeeeez!
                                                     Best regards, yours Jeffie

Wot do you find when you open IKARI's fridge?
Nothing, just ice!
                                                              (C) Photony / CFR


Watch out for "THE COLONY"!


September 17th, the new VENLO meeting after the summer break. Everybody was
afraid that the cops might show up, but... nothing happened... and also nothing
happened what regards new stuff or any cool guys... due to the PCS on the same

Of course, all usual guys were absent, only BROS, nobody from HOTLINE!, BWB,
SF, LEGEND, ORION, SPHINX (who released... guess what... demos!) and of course!
the usual thousands of Dutch lamers and AMIGA idiots... Well, I forgot CFR
(myself) of course. I became a rich man 'cause of selling all "ILLEGAL"s I
brought with me, Hehe!

Well we're waiting and hoping for a better Venlo meeting next time, but due to
the PCS all important guys have been absent...

The snackbar didn't get that lot of money this time, they're also waiting for
yet another in this neverending, unstoppable series of VENLO meetinx... We too.
Wee you in heaven...
                                                                  Photony / CFR


Have you ever heard of groups like "H.I.C." or "F.B.I."?

Well, these crews are from Hungary! At first: They don't have new stuff, but
they create demos that you think were made by IAN+MIC or ASH+DAVE. There is
also an eastbloc-scene like in West Europe. I got demos from POLAND and
U.S.S.R. (Strider is the public enemy No.1 in Russia - Ha Ha). Their hot
favourite games are "Worldgames" and "Enduro Racer" (remember that?).

Jump a little west and you are in Austria! In the last weeks some Austrian
lamers contacted famous crews and told them, that they were members from
COSMOS. These guys are names: NOBODY, MUNDELSOFT, MURDOCK or some others.
Please notice for all time that COSMOS is only: ATT, BIG BEN, SSD, CHC, ICON
and that's already all for this month.
                                                         Salve Big Ben / COSMOS


The second part of "ILLEGAL PRESENTS OLD 64 LEGENDS" will be published in the
following issue, because I didn't have all the time because of school, but be
sure they'll be there next issue, OK?


And so, uncle Chunkle pens his first solo, Illegal article...

To begin with I am going to sort who is who in SCOUSE and who is not:

In a recent Delirious article the member list was quoted as - 'Weetibix, Lee
and Webb'. Piss off!!! Whoever supplied this list was obviously deeply
misinformed, because the member list actually reads as follows: CHUNK (me, me,
me!), WEETIBIX, TRANSX, WEBB, JEFF SMART (who??). Those of you who are
observent enough may notice an unusual addition to our group in the shape of
Jeff Smart! We have know 'Smartie' since the days of G.S.S. and have always
been good friends, and, after meeting him at the PC-Show we mutually agreed
that he was in fact a Scouser who has been disguising his identity by speaking
in a German accent - and thus he was immediately recruited.

One of the most talked-about subjects recently has been 'Americans' so I
thought that I would throw in a few words on this subject.

Once upon a time there was a group named 'Fission' (or something like that...),
now this group was typical second generation crackers, that is - they knew very
little about cracking; using savers and other utilities (that require no skill
to utilize). But this group had something called a modulator / demodulator (a
modem - dumbo) and so, everytime they 'cracked' a game it would be sent off to
some ever-demanding American who immediately ran off to tell everyone how
awesome 'Fission' were.

Gradually, more and more people (sadly including us) began to modem-trade
because Americans decreed that 'fastest was best'. We do not actually need the
Americans, and like a lot of other I would sooner be rid of them. Sadly we have
grown too dependent upon these Americans. Boo Hoo! Sniff, onto other topics
less sad - DEMOS!

Scouse has now had two demos (RETICULATE + HALFWAY) under its belt and in a few
weeks will (hopefully) release another one entitled 'AQUAPAST' which unlike the
previous two (which were aimed more at demo writers that anything else) should
appeal more to the masses. 'AQUAPAST' is going to be my best demo yet and will
include: 1. full screen horizontal interlace, 2. Wireyscroll - wait and see, 3.
The full (!) history of SCG (when, where and what!) depicted in full two
dimensional fishomation, 4. A new application for $D016 bars! (I call it

Enough of my demo, at the show we recieved the new IKARI demos called 'IT'S OUR
SHOW', not mega but not bad, the other one was 'IN FULL GEAR' (written by Mr.
Just Ice) whilst this demo does not contain any new effects or such, I found it
extremely pleasing and a fine example of how a proper demo should look and
sound (cool!).

Well done, Just Ice.

Wowzers, I have exhausted my topics of conversation and so I will bring this
letter to a close...

Huge hellos to Fozz, Bevs, Lazy, Aggy, Motor-x-man and Mr.Wig - flame those
lamers! Lastly to Warfreak of the DOMINATORS - You've got ten legs man!

See you around guys
                                                                    CHUNK - SCG


Thanx for voting this month: EAGLE SOFT INC. (Butcher), IKARI (Just Ice),


1.  KATAKIS                     (-)
4.  OCEAN RANGER                (-)
5.  INTENSITY                   (-)
6.  HAWKEYE                     (9)
7.  BARBARIAN II                (-)
8.  BIONIC COMMANDO             (6)
9.  ALIEN SYNDROME              (5)
10. ZAK MC KRACKEN              (2)


1.  BATTLE CHESS                (-)
2.  STARGLIDER II               (1)
3.  INTERCEPTOR                 (2)
4.  ROCKET RANGER               (-)
5.  KATAKIS                     (4)
6.  NEBULUS                     (-)
7.  SUMMER OLYMPIAD             (-)
8.  BERMUDA PROJECT             (3)
9.  BARD'S TALE II              (5)
10. ALIEN SYNDROME              (-)


As there haven't been any demos except the following three it was damn
difficult to make a demo chart. So what is going down with all you demo

1.  "HALFWAY"                    - S.C.G.
2.  "LET'S DISCO"                - HORIZON
3.  "IT'S OUR SHOW"              - IKARI


1.  S.C.G.                      (1)
2.  IKARI                       (3)
3.  EAGLESOFT INC.              (2)
4.  FAIRLIGHT                   (4)
5.  BEASTIE BOYS                (14)
6.  ZENITH                      (6)
7.  D.C.S.                      (13)
8.  BROS                        (5)
9.  T.W.G.                      (8)
10. TRIAD                       (7)
11. COSMOS                      (10)
12. U.C.F.                      (-)
13. RADWAR                      (9)
14. SHINING 8                   (15)
15. ORION                       (-)


| > "ILLEGAL" tm 1988           |
| > 3rd year of appearence      |
| > (c) 1986 S.C.G.             |
| > Circulation of this issue:  |
|   1000 copies                 |
| > Price: Germany: 2 DM        |
|          England: 50 Pence    |
|          US of A: $1,00       |
| > Date of release:            |
|   October, 15th               |
| > Next number coming:         |
|   November, 19th              |


* Editor:
     Jeff Smart
* Assistant Editor:
     Mad All / CFR
* Staff Writers:
     Austria: COSMOS
     Belgium: CFR, FLT
     Denmark: TRIANGLE, 2000 A.D.
     England: N.B.B., IKARI, S.C.G.
     Germany: RWE, BB, CFR
     Holland: BROS, ORION
     Norway : STARS
     Sweden : FLT, TRIAD
     U.S.A. : ESI, INC, FBR

If you have any comments, you're welcome to write to us!

PLK 123144 C

P.O. BOX 406

Don't let others get your copy...

If you want to get the next issue of "ILLEGAL", then contact:

PLK 012314 B
4630 BOCHUM 6

And please enclose a prepaid envelope plus 2DM / 50p / $1 !

!! Preview !!

* Olympiad of the crackers
* The new novel
* and Gogo Brown slags off


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