This is ILLEGAL #28, rewritten from paper by King Fisher / Triad.
COPYRIGHT 1988 BY TRIAD
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE
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+--+ +--+ +--+ \ +---------+ +---------+ +---------+ +--+
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| | | | | | \ | +------+ | +---+ | | +---+ | | |
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| | | | | | | +---+/ | | +--+ | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | | | +---+ | +---+ | | |
| | | | | | | +---+ | | | | | | | |
| | | | | | | | \ | | ++ | | +---+ | | |
| | | +-----+ | +-----+/| +------+ | +---+ | | | | | | +-----+
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
+--+ +--------+ +--------+ +---------+\+---------+ +--+ +--+ +--------+
/ / \ \
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The story of SYSTEM FOUR continuing
MAD ALL'S GUIDE TO COMPUTER LANGUAGE!
THE ILLEGAL STORY
ALL FACTS ABOUT THE MCG RAID
- FUSION - MAN AND MACHINE: THE GAME IS OVER!!!
THE LATEST NEWS
VENLO - THE ULTIMATE MEETING
ORION'S LION TALK
NEWS FROM SYSTEM 4
ZIP! Anutha month passed by with shocking 'n inciting events that are presented
* FANTASY, EX-F.C.S. leader, tried to commit suicide, 'cuz of losing anutha
match against his girl-friend, who woz fucked by a friend of him. I was told
that he pricked his leg seven times with a big knife until the knife broke into
pieces. Who said that girls aren't ruling?
* After TPI asked TRIAD to join, he wrote back: "Thank you for your offer, but
I built up my own group!". Hup, when did we make him an offer? Tell me when,
Juergen? Hum, anyway his group is called INXS (why music-groups? Where has own
creativity gone?) and several members from the SHARKS joined it.
* Sensation! Sensation! SLEDGEHAMMER from HOTLINE bought a new Jacket! Nobody
wanted to believe his eyes when seeing SLEDGY appearing in a white jacket! I
guess I saw him 10 times before that famous brown leather jacket... First
assumptions were that he now has expanded to selling games, but...
* Ever heard of SOFT TIGER CREW? They joined dead A.C.E., but now look here:
They're buying stuff from several guys, e.g. ORION, FUSION and so on... Maybe
they also paid a lot of AUSTRIAN SHILLING to enter A.C.E., but for that money
one would get a better group?!
* Now... as olde IAN left FUSION (look also on the special article 'MAN WITHOUT
MACHINE'), THE JESTER was kicked out by the two guys remaining, namely MARK and
CRAIG. Now THE JESTER joined forces of the AMIGA group PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1, no
connections with that US group.
* What for the hell happened to good old SURVIVORS ??? It really seems as if
only one guy survived, that's BOBA FETTE, who's still importing all stuff from
NIK of IKARI. Now it can be heard that BADD BOY, after getting one of these
nice telephone bills, built up his own new group called CRIME ... huh ...
shuddering name, eh?
* THE WANDERER GROUP, who have always been very interested in American groups
took in another talented importing gang that is NEW AGE.
* STEVE and IRONFIST of ZENITH were arrested for stealing franked stamps from
STEVE's former employees. Now one can be arrested for being a pirate, but not
for stealing stamps, urghs?!
* Here's the new INTERNAL TRIAD status: As Lucifer was kicked out, IXION's new
emergencyplan activated a guy called ROWDY, who can make excellent cracks now.
Some who doesn't have to prove that they are excellent crackers are ACU from
SOLDIERS AGAINST PROTECTION. Now ACU (2 guys) and another one, called DREAM
DANCER reinforces the German TRIAD section, so watch out for releases of the
* Always wondering who's writing the instructions for all FAIRLIGHT cracks???
As STRIDER told after having drunken several beers, that he always forces his
two little brothers to do this... Nice idea, mon!
* At the mo every German is afraid of the consequences that the MCG raid has
brought about, but read "LION TALK" by MR.DECIBEL of ORION for more thinx about
* HU... HU... as I was told by lots of English guys, ANDY from NEW BENCOR BROS
supplied that official magazine COMMODORE USER (there was a big article about
English crackers announced) with nothing less than this somehow known magazine
called eh, I dunno, well, I guess, hmmm... wasn't it? yes, the "ILLEGAL". The
only thing I care about this, is that the March edition he sent to 'em, was
rather bad comparing this one 'ere. So, maybe I'll send 'em this nu one!
* I got MAD ALL from COMMANDOFRONTIER finally to give out the names from the
new CFR members and so they are not only PRINCE and SHADOW known formerly as
THE AUSTRIAN CREW (hups? Did I miss sumthing?) but also LETO II, who got quite
famous being ex-TRANSCOM grafix man (remember his work for 'ROCK IT'), cuz he
felt that TRANSCOM was a bit too large (that could not happen in TRIAD,
eh?????) and as he WAS a fan of BUBULAND's drawings his choice and CFR's of
course was only natural.
* Now, other German guys had to say farewell 'cuz getting in contact with the
always watching BIG BROTHERS, better known as 'THE POLICE' (yes, I think I've
heard of 'em!). So were FREESTYLE caught getting packages from the post office
on their PLK and LUPO of ONLINE at his home where the police just rang his
doorbell. Now, state at PLASTIC's (from FREESTYLE) home is gone veeery low as
his mother denies that he's at home everyday 24 hours, hum? Rumours said that
his phone is monitored so don't call him saying "well, my adress is....", that
could bring sum trouble with it.
* Everybody's wondering what happened to ORION?! Now it seems that TCF, TBF and
FCT of ORION built up a group called "Spinx" secretly behind the back of all
other ORIONeers to grab all their contacts and come out under this name now.
They also spread some veeeeery funny rumours, for example I was quite surprised
that MR.DECIBEL joined TRIAD (!) and DSH will exclusively work on AMIGA in one
week and join FAC again, NUP! NO! NEIN! NJET! Totally bullshit. Now as they
have to start from the beginning, on the same point they were picked up,
they're going to steal ORION's contacts and spreading false rumours, anutha
funny one is that they get originals from HEADBANGER in the U.S.A., but he's
only on AMIGA right now as he told me, so more crap. Now it seems as they won't
live for long 'cuz ORION sweared revenge which is their good right. But we all
know what happens to such guys who leave bigger groups (take ELRIC of AGILE as
a bad example who was kicked out of TRIAD).
* Waiting for meetings of protest I'm signing off but not without thanking all
these fine guys for all these fine news: MAD ALL / CFR, MR.DEC / ORION, JESTER
/ PE no.1, STRIDER / FLT, OAHAWOOL / FBR, TWG, CF / BEASTIE BOYS, MZP / RED
SECTOR, HEADBANGER and all at TRIAD!
Jeff Smart / TRIAD
64 GAME REVIEWS
This month only a couple of games arrived because of the notorious summer gap
...buhuuuu... no change in sight?
* STAR RANK BOXING / GAMESTAR - Looks totally like "MC GUICAN BOXING" released
in 1986. Movements were improved, now various tactical moves are possible.
Offers save option on disk, saves down world ranking list. Training camp as the
game itself nice, but because of the fact that one fight last for 15 * 3
minutes REALTIME it gets boring by first playing. Hum, otherwise an old idea
has been quite well improved. So, the "ILLEGAL ranking" looks like: 59 / 100
* SAMURAI WARRIOR - THE ADVENTURES OF USHAGI YOJIMBO - Well, we got that game
in a non-full-working preview version two months ago. Now it works perfectly.
Very nice sprites with great animations and jimbajimba sound serve the oriental
atmosphere. Nice graphics also, now it becomes a little bit exhausting after a
while, who cares? Ranks: 81 / 100
* LAZER TAG / GO! - Huh, the "First non-violent shoot 'em up" was announced in
the big advertisements. So how's it? SHIT! The movements of your figure are
that bad as you are used to know from games that have their origin in 1983. The
grpahics are also that 1983 standard and haven't seen any non-violent things as
you are shot down after a few seconds by the lazer armed guys. So what? GO! GO
HOME! Ranks: 13
* CYBERNOID / HEWSON - Brilliant sound from MANIACS OF NOISE makes the dull
game concept more interesting. Now you have to solve (or to shoot) several
tasks with your spaceship by thinking sometimes and shooting like hell. Great
graphics and cute sprites are as included as a nice intro screen. Ranks: 85
* KARNOV / DATA EAST - Ever heard of DATA EAST? Remember the U.S. version of
"IKARI WARRIORS", yes, DATA EAST made that. Remember the conversion of
"BREAKTHRU" which was sooo damn bad, yes, also done by DATA EAST. So, what do
you expect from KARNOV? Nothing, and you're right. The graphics look like
singlecolour, the speed of the sprite is so slow that you can you can easily
drink a cup of coffe while your figure makes a jump, argh... lamest rubbish and
that on two disk sides. Stay east, Data East. Ranks: 10
* SHANGHAI KARATE - Urghs. Slower than a snail, two fighters are trying to
smash their ugly heads to uglier places and you have to move them. Not a nice
job, eh? The graphics do not change, that's not so bad, either, because they
aren't good. No sound can be heard, no tensions can be aroused even if you're
playing one on one human opponent. No, thank you very much, ranks: 09
* BOB WINNER / LORICEL - Hum... nice atmospheric graphics, but such a bad sound
fix that I first in my life switched the sound of my monitor. The game sucks,
too. Moving a bad animated sprite with a tooo heavy movement from left to right
without scrolling isn't that one can dream of, eh? So I advise you to have
instead of looking at BOB WINNER a look at NIKKI PENNY, the public relation
woman of LORICEL because that's more interesting (look at THE GAMES MACHINE,
number 6, page 5), so ranks for her: 95 but for BOB WINNER: 18
* PARANOIA COMPLEX / MAGIC BYTES - A lot of guys will wonder right now, but
only three guys in the pirate market have got this game that will be released
in September. Well, I can only say that this is bad luck for all of you,
because it's the best game MAGIC BYTES released so far. You move with your man
through a large labyrith of a town, where you can improve your weaponry and
things like that. The title sound is fantastic! So, I think you have to wait a
little bit until you'll see it. Ranks: 88
* IMPOSSIBLE MISSION 2 / EPYX - FINALLY! The game appeared after a curious
preview. AH! That's what my heart really wants. Everything's improved! You have
8 different towers to search through for hidden code numbers that let you, in
the right order, enter the next tower. New features like moving on platforms
left to right, up and down, using bombs to destroy treasures etc. have also
been included! After you managed to get through all 8 levels, you have to
destroy all treasures in the towers to get parts of a music song, that doesn't
sound good. Anyway, you have to bring these parts in the right order and play
it somewhere where a secret door to ELVIN's tower opens. HUM? EASY, EH? I would
be glad if writes if he discovered ELVIN's tower, okey? This game will take
your breath for a while, I bet! "ILLEGAL"-ranking: 98!!!!!!
* 4*4 OFF ROAD RACING / EPYX - Take your car and make a drive! It features
elements from OUTRUN and BUGGY BOY, but isn't that exciting game. You have to
be careful on the streets because other drivers like to smash you off the road.
You can choose between 4 different courses, 4 levels and 4 cars. Now you have a
hard race overtaking all other drivers. Hum, not that bad, well it's okey, but
* G.U.T.Z. / OCEAN - Try to escape from a stomach of a monstrous moon, sounds
strange, eh? This game was written by OCEAN's programmer team SPECIAL FIX, who
sign responsible for FIREFLY and FREDDIE HARDEST for example, and they did
their best work so far. The task of the game is to find weapons in the
labyrinths inside the monster (burgs...) and destroy a special part after 4
levels, so a liver and a heart... Fine graphics and a great sound (Fred Gray),
but it soon gets boring after some levels because the labyrinths stay all the
same, so the ranks: 86
all reviewed by JS
MAD ALL'S MAILBOX
EXCELSIOR! Who's been playing dirty, who's died and who's back, read it here
and believe it...
- Finally something is happening in this boring country I'm accidently stuck in
(BELGIUM). B-ART and WOW have decided that strength in members is the way to
the top and have merged dropping both groups and naming themselves after an old
64 legend: FLASH.
- Another piece of homenews for here, can Belgium take it? Ever heard of
LEGEND? Not yet, well watch your screens coz this is a new international group
containing ex-members of Belgium's CHINA SYNDROME, ORION, NEW-LIFE, SIGMA, TSW,
SHIELD and TRILOGY.
- GENESIS PROJECT (ah, not that from the STAR TREK movies) have attracted 2 new
groups to their already big family, to be more specific: RAW and MELMAC TEAM.
- But not all groups are getting bigger this month, those German Sharks lost a
few people like TPI, ULTIMAX and MCT... Ah well the lord moves in mysterious
- I had the pleasure to recieve a reviewer's copy of "DIGITAL NEWS", the
electronic magazine on disc and although my knowledge of German is limited, to
say the least, I spent the best part of 3 hours of enjoyment with it and I can
fully recommend it to all you outthere, there seems to be an attitude towards
pirates not to buy it, coz they think themselves too important to pay for a
disc, but they forget that "DIGITAL NEWS" is a magazine like "64'er" and "HAPPY
COMPUTER", but much better worth that money. So go out and buy it, you have MAD
ALL's approval of quality.
- After half a year of success the VENLO copy-parties seem to be slowing down
after the best one on the 16th of April there won't be any big one before July
or September, coz a lot of people will stay away on the May and June parties
coz those dreaded exams are heading straight ahead and in the summer there
always is a big black hole in the software-releases. Some big names want to
come to the July-edition, but you know that a pirate's world is always
tracherous (otherwise he wouldn't be a pirate - dummy).
- For a good laugh read the preview section in "GAMES MACHINE" when they are
talking about a new mega-game which is just finished and will be released in 6
weeks if we're lucky. Oh yes, the game is called something like: The games:
Thanx for info to LEGEND, B-ART, GENESIS PROJECT. Keep the gossip coming, it's
Later from MAD-ALLigator
MAD ALL from CFR
INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH!
THIS TIME: STRIDER / FAIRLIGHT
Searching through all groups on the pirate market, one hardly finds a group
that was constantly on the top. So here you got STRIDER, the leader of
FAIRLIGHT, the home of the real crackers...
?: How many years are you shocking your parents now?
!!!: I have been kicking my dad's ass for 17 years now.
?: When did you buy your first computer and why?
!!!: I got my first computer, a 64 of course for christmas 1983 but still don't
know why. The at the end of 1987 I finally got an AMIGA to explore the 16
?: When was FAIRLIGHT founded?
!!!: It was formed after a big internal fight in WEST COAST CRACKERS around
?: Where have you got that name from?
!!!: The probably best synthesizer is called: "Fairlight" and as I am a great
fan of such music I took that name. By the way, groups like DEPECHE MODE
or J.M. JARRE are using "Fairlight".
?: How many members do belong to FLT?
!!!: At the moment we are STRIDER, BLACK SHADOW, GOLLUM (the first actual
members) and HOBBIT (who was formerly ANUBIS), GANDALF (formerly LORD
BLITTER), Wilfo and Excalibur.
?: Who are your best friends and enemies in this rough world?
!!!: My best and oldest friends are RADWAR, FAC, HOTLINE and TRIAD, and I hate
people who would hesitate chopping a communist's head in front of his
?: Which games, demos, movies and music do you like the best?
!!!: games (64): ELITE, GUNSHIP, URIDIUM and M.U.L.E.
demo: 'ROCK IT' by C64CG
movies: ALIENS, PLATOON, RAMBO 1, RAMBO 2, RAMBO 3, RAMBO 4, RAMBO 5
music (64): SKATE OR DIE!
?: What are you doing in your sparetime?
!!!: I watch movies, movies and movies... Sometimes when I'm really bored I do
a little homework!
?: What was the best incident you ever had?
!!!: The party in VENLO and especially the party afterwards in BOTTROP, but now
I'll go to the U.S.A. for two months in the summer, yeahr!
?: How do you see the 64's future?
!!!: Maybe it will be OKEY for 1 or 2 years, but I think then the AMIGA will
take over everything.
?: What are you going to do now?
!!!: I have now quit the C64 to start programming on the awesome AMIGA! All the
originals that are released here will be cracked by GOLLUM, but I'll still
be trading like a crazy motherfucker.
+: Thanx for all, Toni and I wish you all the best for the trip to States.
* ACT OUT / DIGITAL IMAGE - Oh my God, another of these non-stopping Breakout
series... This time the company stole the ideas from KRAKOUT and the sprites
almost 100% from ARKANOID. Anyway ACT OUT features saveable HIGH SCORES and an
editor. A new thing is so-called Black Field where the ball disappears and
appear in another Black Field. Up to 2 Players can compete moving their bats up
and down on the left side of the screen, but only using the mouse. The sounds
are normal Amiga standard. So new ideas would have been better, nevertheless
not the worst Breakout-game, score: 68 p
* AAARGH / ARCADIA - Aaargh, also announced to be released on the 64 by
MELBOURNE HOUSE is a kind of RAMPAGE in which you can choose between two
different monsters, that are a dinosaur and a cyclope. Now you have to destroy
some very well drawn cities, villages, castles etc., great stereo-effects and a
funny but difficult bonusgame make the game very interesting, even though the
joystick movements are quite hard, score: 87 points
* BARBARIAN / PALACE SOFTWARE - Another goddamn 64 conversion that features the
same graphics and sprites as on the 64, not much better. But the sound-effects
are as great as some samples speeches. It seems to me as if the game got more
difficult than on the 64, anyway still a good game, score: 82 p
* FRED FEUERSTEIN / TEQUE - After funny graphics and funny speech
(YABBADABBADOOOOOO) the game awaits with a niveau of a 6 year old child. It's
subdivided into two parts, the first consists of painting some walls which is
quite funny but the second part, stone age bowling, is as boring as the game
gets after a short while, score: 43 p
* CAPONE / ACTIONWARE - After two minutes loading, cuz of a bad crack dun by
BST, the game involves you shooting, shooting and shooting up some gangsters
looking at you from houses but one has to be very careful with peaceful guys
appearing, otherwise one life is lost. The screen scrolls steadily slow to the
right, the graphics are quite nice, but not really exciting. Score: 49 p
* WIZBALL / OCEAN - And again a 64 conversion, probably one of the best games
ever on 64 has been converted very well. The game offers great graphics, nice
sounds (as usual from OCEAN) and then the same movements from the old 64
version. Another good game from the C 64 has been converted very well, so that
AMIGA owners can expect a lot from OCEAN as regards their further AMIGA
conversions like "GREEN BERET" (!), "PLATOON" and "COMBAT SCHOOL". Score: 92 p
* POWER STYX - This time the idea was taken up from the old arcade game "QIX",
but it has been "updated" on the AMIGA with nice music jingles, brilliant
graphics and after all the years of "QIX" it still has a very high motivation!
Score 89 p
* OBLITERATOR / PSYGNOSIS - PSYGNOSIS definately reached the standard of
CINEMAWARE but one regarding the game presentation as one can see in this
superb intro showing optimal animation. The game is rather a boring SHOOT 'EM
UP with also brilliant graphics and animations. The game seems to be more
complex, 'cuz it also has a savegame function as it will take more than some
minutes to kill all aliens around there. Score: 91 p
* SARCOPHASER / RAINBOW ARTS - Another SHOOT 'EM UP like old arcade "NEMESIS".
The sounds represents normal Amiga quality, the graphics are nicely drawn and
the scrolling in the higher levels is very fast. Just another good SHOOT 'EM
UP, but no new idea that I always miss, score: 90 points at all.
all done by JS
RADWAR / TRIAD PARTY
HERE IT IS! THE LONG AWAITED SUCCESSOR TO THE BRILLIANT RADWAR PARTY!!! SO IF
YOU LIKE TO BE 3 DAYS OVER A WEEKEND IN THE SUMMER HOLIDAYS IN GOOD OLD GERMANY
THEN WRITE AT ONCE FOR DETAILED INFORMATIONS WITH BACKSTAMPED ENVELOPE TO:
RWE/ TRIAD PARTY
PLK 040201 C
One last advice: Commit suicide NOW if you don't want to see what THE MASTERS
OF PARTIES are going to do for you!
"DELIRIOUS MAGAZINE" vs "ILLEGAL" PART TWO!
Have I talked about "Delirious Magazine", that official TRANSCOM propaganda
last month only in good words, so I HAVE TO CORRECT MYSELF! Now what happened?
It seems as if the old C64CG members again started a war (remember their old
"fuckings" to Beastie Boys, Triad and almost every other group). This time
against the whole "ILLEGAL"-team. So they wrote an article for their magazine
about "ILLEGAL", that we only represent the interests of 2 groups, namely CFR
and TRIAD. Now JAYCE, editor of "Delirious Mag" refused to write that
nevertheless none of us will work his ass off to help them anymore, because
it's always the same with them when they think they've grown too known. So most
of the ANTI-TRANSCOM-POWER is to expect from CFR, so it is to expect a cool
demo soon while TRANSCOM are still learning to speek Engleaschz...
VID.. VID.. VIDEO!
Hello, freaks, LAZER from the NEW BENCOR BROTHERS returns again with some new
VIDEO reviews for ya!
(1) RUNNING MAN - another cool film starring GOD (Arnold Schwarzenegger!). This
time, Arnold is sometime in the future where he plays the role of a contestant
in a futuristic game show. But this is no ordinary game show, because if the
contestants loose, they die! Arnold isn't the loosing type and he certainly
isn't the dying type, so he decides to take on the game show controllers. What
happens then? Go and see the film to find out!!! Rating: 92%
(2) THE UNTOUCHABLES - The untouchables stars Sean Connery as head of a crime-
fighting team of Chicago cops (a sort of 1930's s.w.a.t.). A good film if you
like "King of Chicago" on ya Amiga! Rating: 67%
VIDEO STARS MAP 1988
1. (1) PREDATOR
2. (2) RUNNING MAN
3. (7) FATAL ATTRACTION
4. (9) MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
5. (3) ROBOCOP
6. (6) BEVERLY HILLS COP II
7. (5) NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST. III
8. (-) AMERICAN NINJA II
9. (4) FULL METAL JACKET
10. (10) THE FLY
WANTED: We want VIDEOS now! We especially want pornos that contain: fucking of
children, fucking of dead bodies, fucking of animals, and where people get
killed for real!!! We will give rewards to anyone who can supply these vids, or
LAZER of NEW BENCOR BROS
P.S. All Vids, Votes + Comments for us to Jeffie!!!
THE 11TH OFFICIAL COMMODORE SHOW!
Showtime in England! Next month the COMMODORE SHOW will be in LONDON on Friday
3rd, Saturday 4th, Sunday 5th, of June from 10 AM to 6 PM each day. Adress is:
Novotel, Hammersmith, London W6, England.
Mostly English guyz will be there and so will many Europeans. It costs 3 pounds
for adults and 2 pounds for children (under 16). If you cannot make this show,
don't miss the PCW SHOW in SEPTEMBER - everyone will be there!
LAZER / NBB
MAN WITHOUT MACHINE!
As everybody knows IAN, founder, leader and housemaid of FUSION - MAN AND
MACHINE - quit C 64 to start an AMIGA career. But now, OH WONDER!, he also quit
his AMIGA stuff!
Thousands of false rumours were spread, it can be heard that IAN was fed up
with his friends or things like that... what's the truth? I got a letter from
IAN, so I won't hesitate to print it 'ere in parts... Well, here we go:
"I quit FUSION, the group I started and took to the top. I left not because of
anything other than that I want to spend more time with my family and less time
with computers. I thought that by going Amiga I would be able to cut my input
to the group down, but it wasn't to be. I am trying to decide now whether to
quit computers for good! My family deserves more of my time than I have been
IAN / FUSION
But you can continue supporting Ian with used stamps but not with disks!
Therefore Ian like to print a GREAT BIG THANX to some of the groups who have
sent him stamps: TRIAD, ORION, DOMINATORS, IKARI, ZENITH, SRG, TSK, PAPILLONS,
INX, DCU, TRIANGLE, WOD, SHARKS, KCS, UPFRONT...
"THANK YOU FOR USING AT&T, SIR!"
The European's new kind of playing! Calling Americans telephone service AT&T
(American Telegraph and Telephone) and making "AT&T Calling Card Calls". Now
Well, big American companies give their employees codes for making business
calls that include a fixed amount of money. This code consists of 14 digits,
for example such as 41593089102614. Using this code you can call any American
friend of yours you like to for only one telephone unit. You only have to call
the American AT&T station from your country, give the operator the number of
your American friend and this code. Nothing's easier!
The only problem is that such a code isn't working for a long time, in best
ways up to 5 days.
Now, you can call US doodes that own 3-way and then can call anutha friend of
yours. Normally such a "direct-call" is used for importing, 'cuz it offers
quite a good connection, except from Germany. Anyway, this offers you new
possibilities to keep your telephone bill as low as possible and your parents
wondering why you spend the whole night in a telephone box.
THE STORY OF SYSTEM FOUR!!!
Zip! You just wanted to stand up and go to HER as she suddenly disappears in
one of the back rooms. Hmmm, you think, what's going on here without you...
Anyway, again you start to concentrate on a bottle of beer, thinking about the
possibilities of going to HER and just confess your love to HER (and commit
suicide as she laughs at you...), SHE comes back out of the back room and
stands now toghether with some girl-friends of hers and drinking also a beer.
No, you think, what if she really laughs at you when you fall down on your
knees and say: "I love you, dear!"? No, you just can't do it. So you keep quiet
and wait for the final moment.
You order another bottle and then ZUP! you don't remember anything as you wake
up in your bed the other day. Your head is aching like hell when you grab your
sunglasses and reach out for the bus. School is taking your whole time the next
days, 'cause you want to get good marks to improve in your job and earn lots of
money. So you don't really have the time to seek out for your dream-girl, even
though you now took the same sport course as she did. You're counting and you
notice that you've loved HER for about 2 months now and nothing changed. Your
friends are wondering why you are so unactive at the moment. You spend a
thought on her character and find out that this is maybe not that what you can
consider to belong to a dream-girl, but hasn't she the nicest face ever seen?
The situation in SYSTEM FOUR is really hard, 'cause the ever-present police
catched some of your friends during a meeting that was badly organized by some
IQ-less j-classers. Your luck you wasn't there, why go to a j-class organized
meeting? You were totally right. Those lamers have now been kicked out, 'cause
of being damned by other hundreds of guys who found out that those j-class guys
did things together with the police. Hups, how mean... Anyway, you don't give
them a single thought, even though you know the origin of all evil.
You remember with great pleasure that meeting last month where finally lots of
a-class members shook hands. Aaaah, so why making an own party? Only to enlarge
pleasure a bit? A damn good reason, but if you take that in your hands, nothing
can go wrong. Now, it's normal day-life you meet HER in the bus, but still
without the courage to talk to HER not to loose your first life in the great
game. You haven't counted the times you've thought about talking and emracing
HER, but it seems as if it had now been 2 years instead of 2 months. The more
you hear HER talking the more you recognize that SHE might be a big mistake for
you, but still this feeling makes your heart bumping like hell when you look
into HER magic eyes.
It's Friday as you leave the bus for another frustrating day at school when SHE
appears with a boy-friend (!) who holds HER hands and SHE looks back with a
happy smile. A ROCK HIT YOU! ONE LIFE LOST!
to be continued / JS.
MAD ALL'S GUIDE TO COMPUTER LANGUAGE!
BIT: a word to describe computers as in: "My computer costs a bit".
BUG: what computer companies often do with your adress when they've got your
CHIPS: fattening, non-nutritious food computer users eat to avoid having to
leave their keyboard for months.
COPY: what you have to do with your neighbours' school work as you spent too
much time at the computer and not enough at school.
CURSOR: what you turn into when you can't get your modem to connect.
ERROR: what you made the first time you walked into a computer store just to
have a look.
EXPANSION UNIT: the new room in your house you have to build to house all the
extra memory of your computer.
FLOPPY: condition of a hackers' stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady
diet of junk food (also look at CHIPS).
HARDWARE: things such as water, soap or a tooth-brush and any other equipment
you haven't laid your hands on since getting your computer.
MENU: what you'll never see after buying a computer because you'll have no
money left to eat in a restaurant.
PROGRAMS: those things you used to look at on your television before you
switched your computer on.
RAM: what you do with your head on your drive when it's not working properly.
RETURN: what a lot of people do with their computer after only half a week.
WINDOW: what you throw your computer out of, when you accidently ereased a
program you've been working on for five weeks.
MAD ALL from CFR
Thanx to MAD MAGAZINE for inspiration.
THE OFFICIAL TRIAD RANKINGS DATED 19-5-1988!
IKARI (dididumdumdidi), ORION (hoi!), FAIRLIGHT (all the best, Toni!),
COMMANDOFRONTIER (Allan, a real friend for life!), 2000 A.D., FUCKED BEYOND
REPAIR better known as FBR (JOE!), PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1 (Colin!), SCOUSE CRACKING
GROUP (the bag crew's back!), NEW AGE U.S.A., TRIANGLE 3532, WARRIORS OF
DARKNESS, PAPILLONS, JEWELS, ULTIMATE CRACKING GROUP, NEW BENCOR BROTHERS and
REACTIONS TO THE MCG PARTY
MR.CURSOR of TWG and CORUM of MSC (AMIGA): POLICE PARTY ORGANIZED BY MCG?
Being very impatient, we just entered the town after a very long journey from
the other end of WEST GERMANY. We lost our way several times and arrived later
than intended. Now we may call ourselves lucky as we recognized later! Still
angry 'cause of the loss of time we didn't recognize the men with big walkie-
talkies running up and down the street where the party should take place.
Nobody thought about plain clothes.
The closer we got to the youth-hostel, the more the number of police cars
increased and we arrived just in time to see policemen pushing out some kids of
the house and rummaging their cars! For the very first time in the scene a copy
party was dissolved by the police! About 17 Amigas, 20 C64 and 3000 disks had
been confiscated and 8 guys were led off.
We stopped the car two miles away from the hostel and went back! On the way we
met TOM of MCG who told us some very strange things, TOM had been busted by the
police the day before (!!!).
It is unclear whether it all happened accidentally or whether it was set on
foot by some well-informed persons. We have a strong reason to believe that TOM
of MCG is making common cause with the police. A lot of people phoned MCG the
night befor the party but noone was told that MCG had closer contact with the
police! You really wonder why someone who is caught by the police is giving a
copy-party the day after. Why didn't they just call off the part or just
mentioned that they had closer contact with the police?
As we met TOM he didn't seem to be depressed at all. IT IS POSSIBLE that TOM
promised the POLICE to offer some guys to reduce his own punishment?
Mr.Cursor/TWG + CORUM/MSC
NOW WHAT HAD MCG TO SAY ABOUT THIS?
As I talked to MARCEL/DSI/SLAYER of MCG he told me the following:
"As the police came on the day before the party, I threw my adress book away
into the dust bin and after my brother brought it down, I wasn't able to call
any of my friends. After all I don't know what happened the other day at the
party place, but I don't care about this."
Finally I personally would like to add that even though MCG promised to beat me
up I will write a further article about them here, I decided to print not only
other opinions (as from ORION and TWG) but their own one (LOOK UP!), so at
least I think that's fair and I haven't said my point yet, but even though I
again expect the worst. Nevertheless I would be very thankful for any
additional information about the happenings there, especially from guys that
were directly confronted.
Goddamn state at the mo! It really seems as of the police is looking for all
known guys around here. Nevertheless I have to state that I'm moving to a nu
home, that means a nu adress and nu telephone number. And as it went all on my
nerves that my adress was damn spread as the telephone number was I decided to
give it only to some very close friends of mine to be able to have my sleep in
the afternoon... Aaaaahhhh...
Eh, I have to apologize to all who are wondering where their "ILLEGAL" from
last month had gone to... Now, it's a bad excuse of course, but the truth is
that the goddamn copy machine in the local shop was so fucked that I had to
wait 2 weeks to get my usual copies... Now, this month some problemos, my
printer ribbon is gone empty and and not a single shop in this goddamn town
have a printer ribbon, so here goes a special thank to NICK KNATTERTON for
lending me his one... Signing off this month but not without saying that I'll
be in England for two weeks next month, so VENLO without me (who said:
By the way, special super duper extra special glancified giga mega hyper hellos
to my best friends, as they are: FAIRLIGHT (Tony, be careful of getting Aids in
the Staids! Fred and Hob-Hobbit), ORION (Hoi, Leo, Mike and Mike's little
brother), IKARI (YO, Nik Babe, quite a shortie confie and YO to Mark),
COMMANDOFRONTIER (Allan, I hope you'll pass the German exams again, but with my
help... who doubts?), SCOUSE CRACKING GROUP (George, old dickhead, the bag crew
is bag!), JEWELS (Knight and Spike), TRIANGLE 3532 (the crackin' dane SWYXIE
BABIE), BEASTIE BOYS (be also careful with aids in the staids, Robbie Tobbie
and the Fleewa tuet), THE WANDERER GROUP (Mike the Moese, Inside the building,
Thinker + Mr.Cursor), RADWAR SURPRISES (Markus + rest), FBR (Jese, eh, Joe),
EAGLESOFT INC. (Tron), TAG (Dave), CRIME (John and Kevin), NEW BENCOR BROS
(Andy, give a shit what Colin says), FUS-IAN, PUBLIC ENEMY NO.1 (Colin!), THE
PAPILLONS (Morten!), KKK (Kevin), HOTLINE (old Tjaddie), REDLINE (Alech from
Mechiko), OCTAGON (Mr.Fiend), TSK CREW, MANIACS OF NOISE, STARS (Smash + Gene)
plus lots of others that I forgot here (no goddamn rankings!).
Brother regards to all in TRIAD, esp. to: JANNIE (shining from above can't get
away that smile from his face), MR. and MRS. PINGE (ah, aah, aaaaah! Thanx for
that great mag!), IXION (Dan, take some rouse pills), 801 DC (John), ROWDY (buy
a new pen, greenie), HI-TEC (the mighty enemy of all wobblebugs is back to burn
their pimples out!), T.K. (two weeks without parents. It's not difficult to
become father, but to be one!), F.A.M.E. (fucking, smoking, what next, Mike?)
and ACU (Welcum 2 ze gan', man!).
The two J's are shaking their heads, the trip seems to be not longer possible,
but as far as they heard there exists someone who can make the impossible
possible, so they don't care about 17 or 18, just the cider and beer keep 'em
alive! Goodie buyie says
Jeff Smart / TRIAD
YO (or HOI for Jeff), this is MR.DECIBEL of ORION writing his first article in
"ILLEGAL" and surely not his last. The name for my column is "LION TALK". I
took that name, because I once made a text file for my contacts and everybody
started spreading it as a demo.
Oh, what will I be writing? I try to get some and hot newwies every month,
write some crap about ORION and always send fuckings to old smellie al kajeffie
(haha). No, the last was a joke of course. I think we all have to praise Jeff
for starting "ILLEGAL". I hope we soon can find some people who will help to
make it more professional. I start looking, oh Jeff. But now some latest
THE TRUTH ABOUT THE M.C.G. RAID...
As everybody knows there was the copy party in MARL / GERMANY. MCG (Madonna
Cracking Group) said it was an ORION-MCG party but since DSI was kicked out of
ORION, it was no longer an ORION party. So almost everyone came just because of
ORION and of course not of MCG.
Now as MCG were so very depressed of their first party in December 87 cos it
was so damn shit, so they wanted a success now with every possible means for
example enclosing ORION, even though, but you know we had nothing to do with
it. So they made 3000 copie of the invitation for the party and spread it like
hell. They were so stupid to write the full adress on the invitation, so it was
no wonder that one day before the party took place (on 6th of May) the police
arrived at homes of MARCEL/DSI and MCG. And Marcel freaked out totally at the
police station and started telling lies and giving out adresses and nobody of
MCG warned anyone the guys that wanted to come to the party, no, they made a
deal together with the police to get better punishment when lots of guys are
catched at their party place. Mean, isn't it?
Now as far as I heard, WOD, ONL, INXS and some others were caught! Now they can
thank MCG, that must not show up anywhere around here. Well Marcel, I hope you
can read this, casue whenever I see you, I am going to kick your ass so bad
that... well let it be a surprise for DSI... We'll meet soon, Marcel! Argh.
Now, one wonders what MCG were up to, releasing old shit games with new names,
that's all they can do and when they're going to crack a new game they aren't
able to do it. Take "TARGET RENEGADE", a know multi-load (it's said on the
original cover) game, which best version came from JANITOR/TRIAD. Now MCG made
a one part of it, hahaha! They're really very good when they can pack a multi-
load in one file!
Now only the Americans prefer MCG releases of old games, cause everybody forget
those games. Now MCG are dead and nobody cares! But OKEY, you see right beside
an article from the German daily newspaper "WAZ" for all of you who can
understand German. There it's said that the police got a hint for that party,
cause everybody's hating them. Now, luckily it seems as if nobody wants to
trade with those pigs anymore and that's the best one can do, cause nobody
wants to take the risk that MCG spread their adress again!
| (press cutting from "WAZ" under the headline: |
| "POLITZEI VORHINDERIE MARIER TREFIEN VON COMPUTER-CRACKERN") |
Now, there are of course still cool and nice dudes on the computer scene left.
Let's greet them. My personal greetings go to:
DSH, my best pal.
TRIAD (Jeffie, TK, Janitor and Mr.Pinge)
FAIRLIGHT (Strider, nice talking and nice stuff)
IKARI (Nik, Just Ice, Tridos)
PAPILLONS (I'll call you soon)
THE WANDERER GROUP
and many, many more, just too tired to write more.
Ok, to finish this first edition of "LION TALK" I want to add the all that all
those people who didn't recieve anything or haven't heard from me for a while I
am doing my exams and I will finish them in about 2 weeks (End of May) and
ORION will be same as ever in the meantime, but we'll only get better when I
return and then everyone can trade with me again instead of TBF, who's now back
to being lame. Sorry to disappoint you for a few weeks, but it has paid off for
me, cause it seems as if I'm passing all my exams and sorry for so many
excuses, but I know you all understand...
Mr.Decibel/the lion of ORION
ORION are now only: DSH + MR.DECIBEL
THE ILLEGAL STORE
LAZER of NEW BENCOR BROTHERS presents THE ILLEGAL STORE!
All items brand new and highest quality!!!
All orders including postage, for Europe: £2 DM 7 $3.8
Rest of world: £5 DM 17 $9
WRITE TO: STORE c/o NBB
PLK 123144 C
VHS VIDEO TAPES (180 MIN) £3 DM 10.50 $5.25
VIDEO COPYING KIT £6 DM 21 $10.50
VIDEO HEAD CLEANER £3 DM 10.50 $5.25
VIDEO ENHANCER (makes bad copy 100% copy) £35 DM 120 $61
C 64 DATACORDER £20 DM 70 $35
SUPERPRO JOYSTICK £15 DM 50 $26
ZIPSTICK ELITE £15 DM 50 $26
ZIPSTICK MICROACE £15 DM 50 $26
QUICKSHOT 4 £10 DM 35 $17
QUICKSHOT 5 £10 DM 35 $17
C 60 CASSETTES £0.50 DM 2 $1
C 90 CASSETTES £0.60 DM 2.5 $1.2
OFFER OF THE MONTH:
4 VHS VIDEOTAPES (180 MIN) for £10 DM 35 $17
The best things in life are from the ILLEGAL store!
LETTERS FROM THE READERS
Dear Scouse Cracking Group, it was nice to see someone with a bunch of ideals
in this corrupt pirate society of today... I just wish to remind you that your
views are not totally new to us, infact I have been trying to tell the world
exactly this for a long time. Since I have now quit, you are TAKING OVER a
tradition of quality cracking, not CREATING it... Just keep that in mind, maybe
take a look at TIGER HELL and GOOD LUCK... if I return then you may be crushed
like a maggot under a Testarossa as all our other competitors but if I don't,
GO FOR IT! You have my blessing... finally one thing... OUR INTRO is, I
believe, true ancient history - a fundamental part of what you can call the
good old days!
JANITOR (I'm wicked (or bad?))
THE MEETING REPORTS
THE VENLO MEETING, 16th OF APRIL 1988! Finally the ultimate meeting in VENLO!
Believe it or not, about 600 guys showed up there! Among them, names like:
FAIRLIGHT (Strider and Gollum who came from Sweden), IKARI (Nik, Mark and
Paul), FUSION (Jester), HOTLINE of course, RADWAR, CFR, TRANSCOM, TWG, ORION,
ILLUSION, TRIAD and many others who were almost killed by so many lamers. It
was so overcrowded that it took you half an hour to get from one end of the
room to the other.
Even though NIK of IKARI was wearing a ring around his finger, he let me know
that he still to have. It seems as if all guys from TRANSCOM are very shy as
they didn't speak a single word to me, perhaps they couldn't. SLEDGEHAMMER from
HTL got the biggest applause showing his new jacket. But the time was too
short, when you know that FAIRLIGHT arrived at 1.30 and TONI almost teared the
flag of the GDR in the entrance hall down (God knows why GDR flag is set in the
entrance hall, maybe especially for Toni?).
The new stuff was a minor thing on that day, because it was a historical one!
NOBODY can name a comparable meeting where so many big name groups came
together, even the DANISH GOLD was beaten out by the DUTCH ones! The central
meeting point was a small food shop outside, where nobody could believe that
FAIRLIGHT from SWEDEN and IKARI from ENGLAND really made that far journey. But
unfortunately this best of all meetings ended at 4, so we had to say farewell
to all (buhuuuu...), except FAIRLIGHT, RADWAR and some other very good friends
were secretly invited to THE BOTTROP TRIAD PARTY, same day!
After everybody blamed for not finding the way back at once, we (Toni and me)
opened the first bottle of GERMAN BEER just arrived at MIKE's (of F.A.M.E. /
TRIAD) home. After making lotsa photos for all friends who had the bad luck of
not being here we sat down in a quiet corner of the room, drank our bottles of
KROMBACHER PILS and talked for hours until we went out into town, singing in
the city, eating Greek GYROS (thanx, Toni) and talking to some American girls
from the telephone box that were called by Strider just for free. We crawled
back, everybody looking at a crowd of about 20 guys cheering and screaming in
the darkness. Having stolen two road signs on the way back, Toni and me raped
some other bottles of beer while making some 3-ways. F.A.M.E. composed a new
sound as some guys already tried to sleep but without any chance. Why? Guess
what Jeffie did after 8 bottles of beer? Look on the photo down below, where
old graphician PGI tried to get some sleep but Jeffie opened the window behind
him and sprinkled some water over him.
Guess how TONI looked like after 10 bottles? His eyes were opened only for the
half as normal and he finally sat down in the corner to sleep but before he had
to write a demotext for a small "PARTYTIME" demo that you shall watch out for!
So almost everyone fell asleep at 6 or 7 o'clock (as far as I can remember),
but had to rise 2 hours later as the two Swedish guys had to leave at 10 to
meet GOLLUM's parents waiting at the autobahn. So I left also very quickly so
that I didn't have to clean the room. Remembering these brilliant hours back, I
can say that this was the best party I ever had and it seems as if I am not the
only one who thinks so...
THE SILENTS COPY-PARTY (5-8 APRIL 1988)
This is a short story about THE SILENTS copy-party in Alvesta/Sweden 1988!
There were promised to show up a few big groups, but unfortunately there were
almost just a bunch of Swedish lamers. Okey, I went there and when I arrived I
found the place where the party was held. It was in some kind of big room and
two other smaller rooms. I met some old friends from older times and that was
really cool. But it was terrible to see all these lamers going around and
showing each others demos. Okey, there were some cool guys. Some groups like
XAKK, SSS, DEFJAM (coolest AMIGA-group in Sweden), FRONT/RIFFS and a few more
unknown guys. Okey, there were a few TRIAD members too like: Mr.Pinge, 801 DC,
Ixion, Devil, Skyie & Cozmo. Anyway we had great fun by joking around with all
the lamers at the party. A demo-competition was held and the winner in the
competition was XAKK's 'WHY SLEEP'. Well as you see, not much to say about this
party, but anyway thanx to THE SILENTS for arranging it cause it was cool to
meet my old friends!!
Signed: Mr.Pinge / TRIAD!!!!
CRACKER OF THE MONTH
And here are the results of the "ILLEGAL" jury:
1. IKARI (1) 6.19 pts
2. FAIRLIGHT (3) 5.64
3. TRIAD (2) 5.42
4. ORION (6) 4.38
5. S.C.G. (-) 4.26
6. TRIANGLE (-) 4.10
7. JEWELS (-) 4.04
8. PAPILLONS (7) 3.73
9. EAGLESOFT (5) 3.70
10. FUSION (4) 3.65
11. DOMINATORS (-) 3.41
12. T.W.G. (-) 3.27
13. TRANSCOM (-) 3.18
14. S.A.P. (-) 3.02
15. HOTLINE (-) 2.81
Zip this month was better with entertaining demos, especially lots of demos
from the SILENTS party and Venlo, it was too hard, but:
2. DUAL CASSETTE II
by ASH & DAVE
3. EASTERN DISK
4. IT'S MOVIN'
by SUPERSWAP SWEDEN
5. WHY SLEEP?
6. THE FUNERAL
by TRITON TECHNOLOGIES
1. IMPOSSIBLE MISSION II (-)
2. WINTER EDITION (1)
3. IKARI WARRIORS (3)
4. THE THREE STOOGES (2)
5. GUTZ (-)
6. PARANOIA COMPLEX (-)
7. 4*4 OFF ROAD RACING (-)
8. PRO BMX SIMULATOR (6)
9. IO (4)
10. PLATOON (8)
11. SAMURAI WARRIOR (-)
12. CYBERNOID (-)
13. RIMRUNNER (10)
14. POWER AT SEA (9)
15. REVENGE OF DOH (11)
16. TARGET RENEGADE (12)
17. STAR RANK BOXING (-)
18. CORPORATION (7)
19. TETRIS (15)
20. THE TRAIN (13)
21. COMBAT SCHOOL (16)
22. SINBAD (5)
23. TROLL (17)
24. QUEDEX (23)
25. PACLAND (18)
26. PIRATES (27)
27. PREDATOR (25)
28. BASKET MASTER (14)
29. CHAMONIX CHALLENGE (28)
30. SUPER HANG ON (26)
A BIG "SMACK" FOR VOTING:
STRIDER / FAIRLIGHT, CF / BEASTIES, OAHAWOOL / FBR, JESTER / PE NO.1, THE
THINKER / TWG U.S.A., SPC & ITB / TWG, PHOTONY / TRANSCOM, MWS / RWE, MAD ALL /
CFR, DSH & MR.DECIBEL / ORION + SSD / TSK-CREW
+ IMPRESSUM +
| > ILLEGAL tm 1988 |
| > 3rd year of appearence |
| > No. # 28 |
| > (c) 88 by TRIAD |
| > Circulation: |
| about 500 Copies |
| > Price: 1.5 DM |
| > Date of release: |
| 21st of May |
| > Next number will come on |
| 18th of June |
| > Editor: |
| Jeff Smart / TRIAD |
| > The "ILLEGAL"-TEAM: |
| Mad All - Commandofrontier |
| Swyx - Triangle 3532 |
| Mr.Decibel - Orion |
| > The Sub-Editors: |
| Belgium : CFR, FLT |
| Denmark : TRIANGLE |
| England : NBB, SCG, FUSION |
| France : TRANSCOM |
| Germany : RWE, TWG, BB |
| Holland : ORION, HTL |
| Norway : STARS |
| Sweden : FLT, TRIAD |
| Turkey : THE METRO BOYS |
| U.S.A. : FBR, TAG |
| Good morning, dear. Would you |
| please climb off me? Eh, it |
| seems it was our best |
| decision right now to put |
| your "ILLEGAL" 100% in |
| English. Ups, all articles |
| have to be sent to the editor |
| up to the 7th of June!! So, I |
| hope that you will be still |
| alive after the next month |
| when we prepare for a great |
| Venlo meeting and a cool |
| RADWAR-TRIAD party (beware of |
| our reputation!). So take |
| care, don't dare because the |
| best things in life are |
| "ILLEGAL" JS |
| ANY COMMENT ??? |
| TRIANGLE |
| P.O. BOX 116 |
| 8382 HINNERUP |
| DENMARK |
| CFR |
| P.O. BOX 406 |
| 8400 OOSTENDE |
| BELGIUM |
| JEFF SMART |
| PLK 123144 C |
| 4250 BOTTROP |
| WEST GERMANY |
| Wanna get your issue ? |
| Then don't forget 2 DM or a |
| S.A.E. and send it to: |
| "ILLEGAL-ORDERS" |
| PLK 012314 B |
| 4630 BOCHUM 6 |
| WEST GERMANY |