This is ILLEGAL #25, rewritten from paper by King Fisher / Triad. The German
parts are left out since I can't read, nor translate, German.
everything you do is
THE TRIAD magazine
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Licensed by TRIAD 88
Games Ahoi! At the mo only a few games are gonna come, the most exciting are:
IMPOSSIBLE MISSION II from EPYX (due to release at the beginning of March),
FOOTBALL MANAGER II, another follow-up, by ADDICTIVE, KATAKIS from German
Rainbow Arts, which looks fantastic and seems to become a quite good Shoot'em
up. And also from German software company namely Micropartner should come
VAMPIRE'S EMPIRE in the next days, which look quite superb which makes it quite
interesting and last but not least: PINK PANTHER also from MICROPARTNER. You
can have a look at the titlepicture from it on the ATARI ST, when you move the
monitor-damaged eyes a little bit down... Yep... not so down, you idiot! Well,
that's all about fine games coming (hopefully soon) and with all the best
wishes I leave off with good luck for the following 11 pages. Thanx to MWS /
RWE for the pic!
| (The titlepicture from Micro-Partners game "Pink Panther") |
A warm welcome to another world of "ILLEGAL"! Maybe you've already heard that I
(Jeff Smart) joined together with Hi-tec mighty forces of TRIAD and now people
claimed that TRIAD will always be number one in the cracker charts on the last
page. Yep, they are right! Oh, no, I felt a little bit different when getting
your votes for the charts thiz month. Who gave TRIAD 10 points? I was really
depressed of what should I do, anyway the last thing I would do is to
manipulate the charts and so I leave, even though people doubt my neutrality.
Anyway, here are the greetinx for this issue, in, of course, no ranking order:
STRIDER / FAIRLIGHT (KILL A COMMIE FOR YER MOMMIE, TONI!?), NIK / IKARI, SLEDGE
/ HOTLINE (good movement!), IAN / FUSION (don't spend too much time with
reading the results of the horse races!), CF + ACCEPT / BEASTIE BOYS, THE
DEADLY FRIENDS (so if you want to then write some articles...), ACU from
SOLDIERS AGAINST PROTECTION (great 'Platoon' Version, Alex), JAYCE from DCU
1789, old DAVE from THE AWESOME GUYS in the States - the land of opportunity,
SWYX of TRIANGLE 3532, ISS and NY from PLEASURE (keep going on the good work
Stefan!), MAD ALL of CFR (hoping to meet ya again, dude!), RUB + SPC from TWG,
MZP from RED SECTOR, old eaglestone from (unreadable), A.C.E., TMC of SCOOP,
the rest of FCS, GENESIS*PROJECTS for the titlebegger!, TSK, TAU, SHIELD, SCA,
POPEYE, TDS, all rest girls and Ferrari-owners. Special yohos to: all members
of TRIAD, especially MR.PINGE, JANITOR and IAN + MIC, wish you the best and
that yer dreams come true one day!
JS / TRIAD
THE RESULTS OF THE TRIANGLE COMPETITION "DEMO OF THE YEAR"
Yo, man, it's over. Thanx to all who wrote to me or called me up. So here are
the final results of our competition "DEMO OF THE YEAR": A BIG CONGRATULATIONS
2. TRIANGLE 3532
3. 2000 A.D.
5. AEK / TFD
Dexion won with 27% of all votes. So goodbye and soon more
SWYX from TRIANGLE
THE NEXT COPYPARTIES ARE COMMING UP...
Oh, yes, COPYPARTIES are a fashionable thing. Every groups makes any, a group
without a copyparty isn't a real group, eh? So first of all, this month:
February 20th, VENLO, HOLLAND, the most attractive probably. HOTLINE, CFR,
RADWAR for sure, and then perhaps TWG, TRIAD, IKARI, SAP and so on. It lasts
from 11 o'clock up to 4 o'clock (or 11:00 to 16:00).
February 20th, AACHEN, GERMANY, planned by DYNAMIC SYSTEM, but that will be
nothing, coz people go to VENLO that day, so better come to VENLO or stay in
February 27th, BONN, GERMANY, the WOD "ANTI LOSER PARTY". Perhaps, perhaps, but
I'm sure that there'll be some losers.
February 27th, BIELEFIELD, GERMANY, planned by SHIELD. Known groups announced
their visit, so better choose this one instead of the WOD party.
March 5th, BONN, GERMANY. Will it be or not? The FCS party, the group is dead,
maybe they're reborn, but make sure if it is or not, but it won't be the
success from December.
DANISH GOLD - TRITON TECHNOLOGY and JEWELS prty??? Rumours spread that there
would be some in April in Denmark. That would it be!
TELL ME, DICTIONARY...
Look at your dictionary under "cracker"! Haven't you already wondered what we
choose every month with the "CRACKER OF THE MONTH"??? O.K., Here we go...
1) thin, flaky, dry biscuit (as eaten with cheese)
2) firework that makes cracking noises when set off: THE CHINESE USE CRACKERS
TO FRIGHTEN AWAY EVIL SPIRITS
What do we have more?
"CRACKPOT": eccentric person with strange ideas.
You know: YOU ARE A BISCUIT (look in Yer pandies...) Next issue more, mon!
INTERVIEW OF THE MONTH! THIS TIME: JANITOR / TRIAD
People call him the only real cracker on earth. Is he a simple human being or
something else. Here are 10 questions to JANITOR from TRIAD:
J.S.: Since when does TRIAD exist?
Jan.: TRIAD was born 86.07.26 at 21.30 pm after some phone calls.
J.S.: Who founded it?
Jan.: There were three "parts" who wanted to merge in an attempt to get known
in Europe, they were:
1. "3001" (IXION, SKYDIVE, LUCIFER)
2. "COD" (ARROW, FRED)
3. MR.Z, RND
The person who invented the name and perhaps was in the middle was
IXION, who's the only left from the real beginning.
J.S.: How many members does TRIAD have at the moment?
Jan.: Well, that's our secret, but there aren't much on the 64.
J.S.: What was the 1st TRIAD release?
Jan.: I think it was "DRAGON'S LAIR", there wasn't even a TRIAD intro on it,
cause there was no time to make any. It was just MR.Z's own
J.S.: When did you start computing?
Jan.: I bought my 64 when it was released in Sweden (summer '83), but I have
not started cracking until the beginning of 1987!!!
J.S.: What's your favourite stuff?
Jan.: GAMES: old strategy games like ARCHON, IMPERIUM GALACTICUM and M.U.L.E.
DEMO: KINETIK ADVERTS, an old computet demo.
MOVIE: Woody Allen's RADIO DAYS
MUZAX: The ARKANOID Soundtrack
J.S.: What do you do in your freetime?
Jan.: GUESS THAT!!! (a hint: I'm doing something called cracking, maybe you
have heard of it before, eh?)
J.S.: It was invented by TRIAD, "C" to CHEAT and a RANKED Greetings. How did
you come to that?
Jan.: We also called the RANKINGS: RATING as MR.Z did, compare with today's
cracks! It was 3D's idea. Well, IXION heard that MR.Z always played all
the games up to their end (How many people do this? Oh, me, of course.
Remember all the 101% cracks) and poor IXION wondered if MR.Z was a kind
of an arcade beast to manage that. But MR.Z cheated with some pokes and
finally he released, persuaded by IXION, all games with a special
trainer-modus, that he called "cheat-modus" and after that we gave the
world a hard time to catch up with those versions...
J.S.: How many swap-partners does TRIAD have?
Jan.: We don't swap with ESI and HTL (?)
J.S.: Do you have war with anyone?
Jan.: No. We respect HOTLINE!?!?
J.S.: Thank you very much...
In the next issue I'll probably interview CAPTAIN FUTURE of the BEASTIE BOYS.
THE BEST IS OVER
I am sure that everyone has heard of a Teleconference. In the past year there
were so many conferences, that they became a daily routine. Recently though, a
conference has become very rare. Allience Teleconferencing was loosing millions
each year due to these fraudulent calls. It was not only costing them, but it
was causing them a lot of trouble. They have retaliated by locking out the
numbers called most. They also monitor almost all calls. Conferences are no
longer safe to run, this is why you are seeing so many 3-way calls instead.
Alliance, a sub-division of AT&T, isn't the only phone company cracking down on
phreaks. Due to all of these crackdowns, things are taking longer to spread
around. Usually withing a couple hours of it's release, everyone would have a
new crack, but since all of the crackdowns it now takes a couple of days.
Modeming is rapidly declining. The telephone companies are using methods such
as false carriers, ANI, trap codes, etc, to catch phreaks. Codes are hacked
either randomly or sequentially by your computer: It works, by calling up the
access nuber, entering the code, then dialling the number you want to call.
Depending on the service you have a 1 in 100 chance of finding a good code. But
who wants to sit there and dial a number 100 times! So, you use a hacking prog
on your 64 and it will dial it up and try codes, till it finds a working one.
To check out the code, your computer dials up another computer (in a different
state). If the computer answers, and a carrier is established, then the code
was a good one, and it is stored to disk. If it was a bad one, and no carrier
was established, then it just goes to the next code. Some services have their
computer blast a fake carrier, to make your 64 think it was a good code, even
though it isn't. Thus your time is wasted here, cause you can't determine which
codes are good, and which ones are bad. ANI (Automatic Number Identicater) is
another deadly trap! In this method the service traces ALL calls made to the
service. As soon as you dial the number, they have your number. I am not sure
who uses this method, but some do! The most deadly and most used method of all,
is the trap code. The BASTARDS at the phone co. spread out bad codes to the
pirating world. Once you dial in the bad code, you are traced! There is no way
to tell a trap code from a good one, this is why this is such an effective
method. What happens after they trace you? They will monitor your line, till
they have enough evidence to bust you. I have come DAMN close to getting busted
myself. No one will ever get busted, if they just use their BRAINS. With the
FUCKERS from the phone co. sniffing our asses, I see things going back to mail
trades, and that MEGA SUCKS.
The Mind Slayer / The Awesome Guys
THE RADWAR PARTY
A computer party among loud music and bottles of beer? Isn't that like coffee
and salt together? But it worked! On the 9th of January 1988 in Heinsberg. Done
by RADWAR in the discotheque "LA QUINTA". Who was there? RADWAR (really?),
HOTLINE, TWG, SAP, BEASTIE BOYS, 1001 CREW, MZP, TRISTAR, FAC, TFD and many
Only a small amount of computers were built up in the large discotheque.
HOTLINE brought all the new stuff with them (as they always do at those
parties) and SURPRISE! The Darkness with "To Be On Top". Nobody had this game,
quite surprising, even though it's fucking cracked.
Well, after some guys drank beer (e.g. Harrie of Hotline), it became louder,
because of some fuckin' Discomusax. Some guys from RADWAR ran around with their
Video-Camera, everybody was acting like Bond, James Bond only to get on their
movie and they promised to make some copies of this movie sooooooon. Anyway,
the mass could drink but not eat. The rest of FCS made themselves ridiculous
when speaking through the microphone: "Does anybody know a good, new name for
us?" Suggestion were "FREEZERS" or "MODULE" but they didn't take them.
Anyway, the "DIGITAL NEWS" was presented, a horny newspaper on disk and it was
quite a great success (order yer own one!!!). About 8 o'clock in the evening,
when some people got drunken (some even verrry drunken), the disco-show
started. A amateur band played some songs live (quite promising), a fashion
show (sooo boring) and lots of music, music and finally (guess what?) music!
People from far away could rest in the nearby gymnasium, but some challenge the
night (hehe). After the night the guys woke up with bad (verry bad) headache
(guess the cause of the headache) who had to react fast or they would have to
wait another day for their train. But this was a party different from all
others before, what an atmosphere! It was something new for everyone, even for
those who drunk more that one can endure (Hello, Brian!), but without
ultraviolence, riots or vandalism like people are used to know the older
generation of crackers.
Whew, hopefully they repeat such a party again. Shame on all of you who haven't
took part in it, you missed something really exciting, so watch out for the
next RADWAR Party!
JS/TRIAD + MWS/RWE
ARCADE GAMES REVIER...
THIS TIME: AFTERBURNER
Whew! What an enormous machine! I hope you belong to the lucky one who got a
"PLAY-CENTER" in your town that owns "AFTERBURNER" the new arcade machine from
SEGA (it'll com on 64 by Activision). You enter it, have to fasten your
seatbelt, press the fire button - but nothing happens. The reason: You forget
to enter a coin to play, you idiot or did you think you're in front of your 64
and have the right to choose between infinitive lives and normal game or what?
NO, comrade! That's real life, that's real challenge. After you entered the
coin, the fever involves YOU! The sound changes into a superb motivation, the
graphix looks fantastic and you get a short instruction of what to do and who
to blast int thousand of pieces! A short grap to the joystick with which you
can launch missiles or fire. THE GAME STARTS...
You are the pilot of a hypermodern fighter, starting from an aircraft carrier
while your seat takes a move forward and you get a heartattack. The graphix
looks absolutely great! You have the command of a fighter. With a stick to the
left you can accelerate or decelerate your speed and then: YOUR ENEMIES!
Other planes coming in front of you! Four of them! They're shooting! And you're
firing back... Blast 'em to pieces... The graphix is unusually fast, ultrafast,
and then: A HIT! Your seats moves from left to right as in reality when you're
hit! Whew, cold sweat runs on your skin, YOU ARE THE PILOT HIMSELF, you have
two planes left: Give your best and fight for freedom (hehe).
O.K., after having lost, not only all lives but also thousands of coins, you
leave frustrated your plane, eh, your machine to return to normal life. Back to
reality: I never played a game which brings you so close to a real pilot, the
movements of your seat, the speed, the whole atmosphere, almost everything
makes you forget your surroundings makes you being the fighter.
THIS GAME IS A DRUG, it gives you the real feeling that you want to get when
playing. I'm afraid of a computer conversion because the whole atmosphere will
get lost - so better leave it. Now, be very careful, do not enter any "PLAY
CENTER" because if you see "AFTERBURNER" you can't hesitate to dare it and then
you are influenced by the drug.
ARCADE SCORE: 99 / 100 JS!
NEWS FROM THE INNER SECTION
YOHO, guys, another month, another new column from old Jeff Smart. So let's
start with the most important events from last month, eh?
* The most exciting (at least for me) thing was, that HI-TEC and JEFF SMART
joined mighty TRIAD forces on 15th of January 1988!
* A new stunning cooperation was built. It consists of THE LIGHT CIRCLE, RED
SECTOR INTL. and TEESIDE CRACKING SERVICE. The name should be: RED TEESIDE
CIRCLE (hehe). First releases were JINXTER without codes and many more are
expected to come.
* Does BEASTIE BOYS have a new member? Cause one wondered who CALVARY (sounds
like Calgary) is. He's a former member of the good old YETI FACTORIES.
* What happened to THE SHARKS? When devil was riding on them, when they
"cracked" such games like "MOLECULE MAN" or "ERIK VIII", which are only about
one year old. Do they really want us to believe that the games are new or what?
But then they have to change also the titlepicture, where it's said that the
game was released in 1986. REALLY BAD, TPI.
* Oh, oh, what's FANTASY CRACKING SERVICE without FANTASY? The answer is:
NOTHING, NOTHING and NOTHING. They wanted the audience at the RADWAR Party to
invent a new name for them, but would you give them your great ideas? Our
suggestions were "FREEZERS" or "MODULES", but they decided to call themselves
now "AXIOS" (what's that? A new freeze-frame module?). But rumour spread that
good old FANTASY has returned to the living and soon FCS would be back in good
(?) old style.
* How could one name one's group like a German sex-film mailorder business?
* Where does FUSION get those originals one week before they're released. Maybe
they're working for the Software Companies!?
* THE WANDERER GROUP really (finally) thinks about kicking little VIP out of
TWG, because he always ridicules at any party and so decrease TWG's quite good
* You know that ESI get almost every original from SOHO. Now the guy, who
supplied all the originals, has joined ESI himself.
* Have you already seen the new PACKER from THE PAPILLONS. Better forget it. It
takes about half an hour (almost) to get through the memory. Why can't they use
a normal one like all others do?
* PLEASURE still exists, even though HI-TEC and JEFF SMART left it.
* Yo. I promised in the last issue to present the answer from FREEZARI (as
IKARI was called for a while) to the rumours that they freeze every single
game. I printed NIK's letter as it was originally sent to me, even though there
are some mistakes: I haven't heard it only from BEASTIES, that IKARI is using
FREEZE MACHINE, other groups told me the same AND IT'S ABSOLUTELY WRONG, that
the BEASTIE BOYS changed the cracker-list from December. They only gave IKARI
no points, which is their good right and so IKARI didn't come up to the 2nd
place, but TRIAD was unbeatable.
* Look below. It seems as if RADWAR ENTERPRISES (RWE) got a new, famous member,
eh? But RWE is also the meaning of a big German electricity company in the
Western part, who advertises now with old Boris.
| RWE und Boris im Doppel |
| (piture of tennis player Boris Becker) |
That was all for thiz month. Best thanx for supplying me with all interesting
news are going to: MWS / RADWAR, TK / AXIOS ?, CF / BEASTIEZ, RUB / TWG, SLH /
HOTLINE, NIK / IKARI, HI-TEC and MR.PINGE from TRIAD and all the others...
So it leaves you alone for another month, your
Jeff Smart from TRIAD
MAD ALL'S MAILBOX
Excelsior, welcome to another issue of my mailbox, filled with gossip about who
is doing what to who and why.
Interested? Good, read on...
- MR.PINGE of TRIAD had an experience most pirates dream only about: he got a
phonecall from a 16 year old FEMALE (!) computerfreak who saw his number in a
demo. They talked for a long time but what they talked about... well, that dear
reader, he won't even tell me.
- HARRIE of HOTLINE is tired of doing all the importing from the states, so
SLEDGEHAMMER decided to give it a try.
- DELIRIOUS, the French sister magazine of your "ILLEGAL" is becoming really
good, I got a review copy of it (Thanx Jayce) and enjoyed it tremendously, a
pity though that it is French completely, but "ILLEGAL" used to be 100% in
German, so maybe they will go international, too?!
- Whatever happened to the good old entertaining demo, nowadays most (99%) of
them are just technical bits of code, everybody seems eager to show how good
they handle rasters, but they loose sight of the entertainment and originality,
that's the reason that sometimes we feature in our DEMO CHARTS demos, which are
not super-coded and that we leave technical ones out, so coders get your act
all together now!
- SCN AUSTRIA have now 11 members and in future perhaps more, so there are
still some mamoth groups around.
- TRIANGLE, who made some impressive demos on the 64 are planning to upgrade to
AMIGA, yep they're planning to terrorize the 16-Bit division but without
dropping the 64, good lucks, guys!
- This month seems to be the beginning of a dangerous time for the pedestrians
coz both COZMIX and BUBULAND of respectively TRIANGLE and CFR are getting their
driver's license, rumour has it that they practised on TEST DRIVE, but they
won't be driving Ferraris, they don't like the colour, you see?
- DSH and DSI left FAC to form a new group with some other freaks, ROCKY
however will still continue, his comment was that he didn't know why DSH left
but he kicked DSI out.
- IKARI are getting two new members in, who will be probably taking over the
modem-trading from PAL, the new kidz on the block are known as MARUADER and RE-
- ILLEGAL TRADERS BELGIUM (no connection with the magazine) have joined BELGIAN
ART, so good luck to them...
Well, the gossip tour is over again, dear scumbags, so last but really not
least, a big thank you for supplying me with fresh and dirty gossip: TRIAD,
TRIANGLE, THE THE, IKARI + FAC!
Watch this space... and send me your gossip!
MAD ALL / CFR
WHERE HAVE THE REAL CRACKERS GONE?
ARE WE CRACKING TOO FAST?
It seems these days that the cracking balance is level, the quantity has
improved but the quality took a nosedive! There seems to be an attitude, with
most groups who shall remain nameless, to crack something really fast just to
send it to the States. In the good old days people really cared about how cool,
short and bugfree the cracks were, but now everyone is trying to crack, if we
still can call it cracking, just to write in their intro how cool and fast they
really are. What they don't seem to realise is that most of us just keep the
best version and not the one they got first. Sure they keep the version they
got first a few days but immediately scratch it when they get a shorter or full
working version, maybe it would be better if all groups agree only to put out
full-working versions, because many games which are played until say level 10
crash, because the cracker didn't bother to see if it worked. Comments on this
topic are of course always welcomed, be it positive or negative, the best,
interesting or original letters will get printed in the next "ILLEGAL", so
watch this space...
WRITTEN BY MAD ALL / CFR
ISN'T HE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT??? I THINK SO!
JEFF SMART / TRIAD
THE RETURN OF THE PHONE FREAKING ONES
Yep, good news, guys! Conference are coming up again. Even for all German guys,
who live under the control of the best protected telephone system with its
leader "BLACK SHILLING", conferences become again a daily pleasure, because our
American allies now also own codes for us to be called. And now we get our old
habits back, to put the telephone right beside the bed, to say: "Yes, put me on
the conference line" when the operator asks you how you are and to get all
important telephone numbers back in your minds to have them when you need them.
Isn't that great? Unfortunately Chief Black Shilling didn't agree to that and
try to break all conferences down, and sometimes he wins his game and for all
conference members is GAME OVER, YOU HAVEN'T REACHED THE TOP TEN, TRY HARDER TO
ENTER THE HALL OF FAME. O.K., but the allies will come one day and beat the
whole system, I'm sure, be there, don't sleep, get on the phone after the first
ringing, hold on, goodbye...
| IKARI - FOR THE BEST, TRADE WITH THE BEST |
IKARI FIGHT THE CRITICS...
Hello, good evening and welcome. My name is Nik of IKARI and I am here to clear
up the mess that certain lamers have left by making all sorts of ridiculous
accusations that many people have been foolish enough to believe.
The main accusation is that we 'FREEZE-MACHINE' EVERY SINGLE ONE of our cracks.
This appeared in the last edition of this magazine and after reading this I
contacted JEFF SMART and asked him what was going on as the comment had
appeared in his column. After a long letter from him it was all sorted out and
it appeared that a certain group namely the 'Beastie Boys' had told him that we
were freezing all our cracks. This is a complete lie and why they said this we
still do not know. So, I am about to come clean about all this freezing
IKARI have only ever released 2 frozen games and this is why:-
DRUID 2: I was given this weeks before release at the PCW show as a file on a
disk. This file was a frozen file that had been card-crunched. After several
attempts I could do nothing with the file and so had no option but to give it
out as it was given to me. I only did this because the game was so new.
RISK: This game was obtained as a file on a disk by our member Just Ice. We
managed to get this on the day of release and at this time we one of the few
groups modem trading with the USA, JUST ICE tried to crack this quickly as it
was not yet released in the USA. However, we did not have any time to spare in
case another group gave it to the USA, so unfortunately we were forced to give
it out as it was given to us.
SO, hopefully you will realise that what the BEASTIE BOYS said was a lie and we
guarantee to you that there is not a single other game that we have released
Some people have also said that the Jetboys and Ramparts was frozen. THESE ARE
NOT FROZEN.... The sprites that you see on the screen after the intro are the
sprites from the scroller in the intro..
ANYONE WITH ANY SENSE COULD SEE THIS...........
So, that is the truth. If you don't believe it we don't give a shit as it means
that you must be believing a LIE....
Many groups have released frozen games once or twice and I'm sure that they
also have very good reasons for doing so, for example
HOTLINE -- PSYCHO SOLDIER
DCU -- BUBBLE BOBBLE
and wait for it, the people that started this whole thing..
THE BEASTIE BOYS -- DRILLER
so what happened then BEASTIE BOYS????
AND NOW FOR SOME INSIDE INFORMATION:-
In the cracking charts for DECEMBER, we in IKARI were voted to be number ONE...
HOWEVER, the BEASTIE BOYS did not like this and complained to JEFF SMART and
after much convincing and fone calls he finally gave in and put THE BEASTIE
BOYS back at number ONE. SO GUYS, we were number one last month OK??????? why
BEASTIE BOYS why???? what on earth have you got against us? we have never said
anything against you but you've started all this....
So, let this be the end of it and nothing more should be said on the subject
NIK OF IKARI
THE AMERICAN CRACKER SCENE
This is Dave (THE MIND SLAYER of THE AWESOME GUYS) with my first article for
the "ILLEGAL". I will try to keep you all informed about the American cracker
scene. Right now, things are slow as hell cause not many cracks are being and
good codes are hard to find! SOHO (Suppliers Of Hot Originals) has merged with
ESI. THE ALLIANCE (not teleconferencing but the group) also lost some of its
members to EAGLESOFT INC.. ESI is getting to be a very, very large group!
The weather here sucks! I can't wait till summer and all of those HOT women at
the beach! Ohhhhh... I had better stop before I get too excited!
Well, I don't know if you want to hear about anything else about the UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA, such as hot songs, movies, etc.. If you do, then tell old
Jeff Smart! But for now, I won't bore you. Later on
DAVE (THE MIND SLAYER of THE AWESOME GUYS)
BIG BIRTHDAY ACTION!
Hey, man! Are you tired of all these boring competitions of who's the best of
1987? Then you're right here, cos we have a brandnew idea! What do you think,
when you get a phonecall on your birthday and someone's singing:
"Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday dear XXXXXX,
happy birthday to you!" ???
Wouldn't that be great? The only thing you have to do is to write your birth
date and your telephone number down on a simple postcard and send it to me,
Jeff Smart, PLK 123144 C, 4250 BOTTROP, WEST GERMANY and then I promise to call
you up on your birthday and give you a song, do you agree??? And then I'll
publish your birth date (not yer telephone number, what do you think of me?) in
the "ILLEGAL" so that one gets a full library of famous cracker's birthdates!
So perhaps you'll already see in the next issue: "This month birthday kids:..."
and in addition to the publication you will get a phone call (perhaps you don't
want hear me singing for you - then I say: "all the best - go on or something
like that") on your day. So get up from your computer chair and give me your
date and fone number and then "Happy birthday, mon!"
JS / TRIAD!
The continuation of last month's article "ein bekotztes Hemd am Wochenende"
MICHAEL as BRIAN / TFD
CHRIS as MR.ZEROPAGE / RSI
MARKUS as MWS / RADWAR and
JEFFIE as JEFF SMART / TRIAD
Last month, Brian amd me were invited by Markus from Radwar to stay for a
weekend at his house together with MZP who also came up. After visiting the
Venlo Copyparty on Saturday morning we, foursome, went to the local
discotheque, in which the RADWAR Party took place. We ordered some beer and
Brian said: "I can bear a lot, I always go drinking at home together with
friends, I'm used to drink a lot." But in fact, Brian isn't able to to endure
more than five glasses of beer, whereas MARKUS, CHRIS and me are the real heavy
alcoholics... hicks... CHRIS and me gave BRIAN a lot work to be done, that
means, we bought him 9 glasses of beer (German "ALTBIER") and 2 glasses of JIM
BEAN Whiskey, after having drunken all this stuff BRIAN went finally down... We
left the discotheque... and guess what?! We walked 10 minutes to the
discotheque and we needed about 1 hour to return to Markus' home. Brian felt
down, once, twice, he was sooo pissed, you can't imagine! He embraced all lamp-
posts with the words: "Susan, oh, Susan, wot R youhoo doin' 'ere?" and he gave
the lamp-post a smacking kiss. We three kept on singing and Brian dropped his
trousers, on the middle of the road of course and pissed on it... then he
wanted to phone his girl-friend out of a telephone box. He went into the
nearest box, dialed a number and said: "Wot R youhoo doin' 'ere in myhiah line,
eh?" and then he wanted to leave the box but the didn't find the exit. Finally
he managed to leave the box and came 30 metres behind us. We rang the bell at a
house and ran away, just in the moment when Brian was in front of the door the
opened and an old grandma coming out and shouting: "Who dared to ring my bell!"
And Brian: "Me not, I am too full to ring any bell mam. Good night, darling!".
We finally reached Markus' home, dropped our clothes and began to relax with
playing some games and so on... Brian was asleep, but suddenly he looked up and
said: "Oops, I better visit the toilet!" He stood up and went to the toilet.
Then we heard a noise: BRURG. BLURK. URK. ORK. We opened carefully the door to
the bathroom and saw BRIAN sitting on his knees if front of the toilet and he
vomitted. Poor Brian forgot to put up the toiletdresser and we put Brian into
the bathtub, where he could vomit so many as he liked to. We were tired to
death and so we didn't notice that Brian went into the kitchen and spread out
his vomitted beer. Bad discovery the other day. Brian woke up with a heavy
headache and wasn't able to remember anything. The whole day Brian didn't say
any word, at home he told his parents that he had upset his stomach with bad
fish and played three days the sick boy. Ask him about the 19th of December
when you meet him!
DISK COVER OF THE MONTH...
Delivered to me by Strider / Fairlight! Thanx Toni! Laid 'her?
| FAIRLIGHT |
| (Picture of a disk set to fire by the |
| breath of a dragon saying "HOT STUFF!" |
| and an eskimo warming his frozen |
| hands, saying "FOR COOL GUYZ!") |
| ALAIN 87 |
HA! Isn't that simply great? No, not the mag, sucker, the thing above here. Oh,
man, I mean it was drawn by ALAIN '87 for FAIRLIGHT (can't you read by yer own
on the cover?) Anyway, I really liked it so much that I wanted to publish it. I
hope you don't mind, Toni!
So, all of you, if you have a disk envelope similar to this here or even better
then don't waste your time - make a move and send it to me at once, 'cos I like
funny and exciting disk covers and perhaps we make a series out of it, if you
agree and help me out with your disk covers to become the "DISK COVER OF THE
MONTH" as a reward you'll get a free copy of your "ILLEGAL"!
JS / TRIAD!
CRACKER OF THE MONTH
Who was the major group in January 1988? Still TRIAD? Maybe BEASTIES again or
perhaps IKARI? Or how or what?
1. TRIAD (1) 7.46 pts
2. FUSION (9) 7.33
3. IKARI (3) 7.14
4. HOTLINE (6) 5.73
5. FAIRLIGHT (4) 5.14
6. BEASTIE BOYS (2) 4.8
7. EAGLESOFT INC. (-) 4.27
8. S.A.P. (-) 4.3
9. T.D.F. (10) 4.07
10. T.W.G. (5) 4.06
Status: points stay the same...
This month TOP FIVE EXCITING DEMOS
1. SNOWBALL SUNDAY by
ASH & DAVE
2. OUT MANOUVERED by
3. STARPIC by
IAN & MIC / TRIAD
4. WIZE MIXES by
5. VIETNAM by
NOBODY / SHIELD
Heya, Compunet and other artist! Do YOU wanna c yer demo in the "ILLEGAL" DEMO
CHARTS? Then pleez send yer creation to us, mon, and we'll give you a special
1. PLATOON (-)
2. TETRIS (-)
3. COMBAT SCHOOL (1)
4. BASKET MASTER (-)
5. BMX KIDS (-)
6. FLYING SHARK (2)
7. T.R.A.Z. (-)
8. SKATE OR DIE! (3)
9. OCTAPOLIS (-)
10. JINXTER (-)
11. THE TRAIN (-)
12. INT. KARATE + (6)
13. RASTAN (-)
14. BANGKOK KNIGHTS (5)
15. CHAMONIX CHALLENGE (4)
16. COSMIC CAUSEWAY (14)
17. HAT-TRICK (-)
18. MINIGOLF (-)
19. GREAT GIANA SISTERS (-)
20. R.I.S.K. (15)
21. KNIGHT GAMES II (-)
22. QUEDEX (16)
23. PIRATES! (25)
24. CARD SHARKS (-)
25. SIDEWALK (7)
26. TO BE ON TOP (-)
27. NEBULUS (19)
28. TEST DRIVE (28)
29. HUNTER'S MOON (9)
30. FIRETRAP (23)
THOUSANDS OF THANX FOR VOTING:
NIK / IKARI, SLEDGE / HTL, MAD ALL / CFR, ACU / SAP, CF / BEASTIE BOYS, MZP /
RSI, MWS / RADWAR, SSD / TSK, PLEASURE, FALCONS and last but not lease MR.PINGE
+ IMPRESSUM +
| > ILLEGAL tm 1988 |
| > 3. Jahrgang / 3rd year |
| > Nr. 25 (!) |
| > (c) 88 by TRIAD |
| > AUFLAGE / CIRCULATION: |
| ca. 400 Kopien / Copies |
| > unverbindl. |
| Preis: 1.60 DM! |
| > Erscheinungs datum / |
| date of release: |
| 8. Feb. 88! |
| > CHEFREDAKTEUR / EDITOR: |
| JEFF SMART / TRIAD |
| > REDAKTION / "ILLEGAL"-TEAM: |
| MAD ALL - COMMANDOFRONTIER |
| MIND SLAYER - AWESOME GUYS |
| SWYX - TRIANGLE 3532 |
| MR.PINGE - TRIAD |
| > RED. MITARBEIT / |
| SUB-EDITORS: |
| Germany : RADWAR |
| Belgium : CFR |
| Denmark : TRIANGLE 3532 |
| Sweden : FAIRLIGHT, TRIAD |
| Holland : HOTLINE |
| France : DCU 1789 |
| U.S.A. : THE AWESOME GUYS |
| England : IKARI |
| YOHO! We have a small jubilee,|
| you are holding the 25th |
| issue of the "ILLEGAL" in |
| your hands! A big thanx to |
| all of you, who took part in |
| making your mag more and more |
| known. |
| Well, even though it's not |
| for if the FCS party will |
| take place on the 5th of |
| March 1988 in Bonn, the next |
| "ILLEGAL" will appear on this |
| day. Make a trip to your |
| local dealer to get it! |
| Anyway, best wishes from the |
| whole "ILLEGAL"-team to all |
| of you... |
| ANY COMMENT ??? |
| TRIANGLE |
| P.O. BOX 116 |
| 8382 HINNERUP |
| DENMARK |
| CFR |
| P.O. BOX 406 |
| 8400 OOSTENDE |
| BELGIUM |
| RADWAR |
| PLK 040301 C |
| 5138 HEINSBERG |
| WEST GERMANY |
| JS / TRIAD |
| PLK 123144 C |
| 4250 BOTTROP |
| WEST GERMANY |
| Wanna get your issue ? |
| Then don't forget 2 DM or a |
| S.A.E. and send it to: |
| "ILLEGAL SUBSCRIBEMENTS" |
| PLK 012314 B |
| 4600 BOCHUM 6 |
| WEST GERMANY |