Preview
@BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ+--- -- - - - [MO'SOUL!] - - - -- ---+
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MO'SOUL PRODUCTiONS ART BOMB ISSUE o1
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| CHARTS - INTERVIEW - NEWS - MUSIC&MOVIES |
|_ thoughts from DEATH ROW and more.. _|
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· t h e s e r p e n t n a v i g a t o r ·
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M O ' S O U L P R E S E N T S I N J A N U A R Y 1 9 9 7
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\\//(_. WHEN THE BOMB iS DROPPED. ._)\\//
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| _____/\ ART BOMB PREMIERE ISSUE - THE HOLY CONTENTS /\_____ |
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C H A P T E R | O N E - T H E U R B A N J U N G L E
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| PREFACE (enter the dark kingdom) · CREDITS (the gods) |
INFORMATION (educate yourself) · LOYAL POSSE (holy people!)
THE NEWSROOM (the world turns) · INTERVIEW (terrorist captured)
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C|H A P T E R |T W O - T H E M I G H T|Y C H A R T|S
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THIS ISSUE'S BEST ASCII ARTIST · THIS ISSUE'S BEST ASCII BOARD!
THIS ISSUE'S BEST ASCII COLLECTION · THIS ISSUE'S BEST ASCII GROUP!
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C H A P T E R T H R E E - T H E C H I L L O U T Z O N E
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|DEAD MAN TALKIN' - by an inmate serving life at DEATH ROW|
| |BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA| |
| THE PRODIGY - SOME INFO'Z (pictures available) |
playstation preview!: TEKKEN III (screenshots available!) |
playstation preview!: RESIDENT EVIL 2 (screenshots available)
|playstation preview!: SOUL EDGE (screenshots available) |
| playstation preview!: ALIEN VS PREDATOR |
| playstation preview!: BEDLAM! | |
| playstation preview!: HEART OF DARKNESS |
playstation hardware:|NEW 360 SLOT GAME SAVE CARTRIDGE! (pic.available)
| | PLAYSTATION NEWS! | |
| | YO MAMA JOKES - PART #1 | |
|more charts -|TOP 10 CD'S TO LISTEN TO WHILE MAKING ASCII|
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. ... R E L E A S E T H E P R E S S U R E ... .
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PreFACE - ENTER THE DARK KINGDOM \_
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the un-dead warriors thread through the forest, their rotting flesh
scraping against the bark of the giant trees. throu the woods, into the
dark cemetary and forth; to the castle 'millenium'; the home of magicians
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you could hear the ringing of church bells through the thunderstorms. the
castle guards retired from their out-posts, darkness was coming; nightfall.
e v i l w a s o n i t ' s w a y
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figures stood up from their graves, the cemetary became alive. the warrior;
the re-animator; smiled. they will feed on the blood of magicians and priests
tonight.. all the magicians heard was a deep growling noice before the cold
steel, serving at the hands of dead, brought them to another life..
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not their guards, magic or dragons could save them; true evil had come back
to life to claim what was theirs; hidden inside the castle walls; the
holy book...on the cover, the golden letters read: 'art bomb'
_ ___ ___ _
( welcome to issue number one mortals )
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[ aRT^BoMB ISSUE:oNE // \
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|/ ___\ _//_ // //_ //_____)) _// /____ \|
| cDr \ / _/ / _/ / / | \_ / m's |
|\____ /_________\______ ____________/_______________|___________\ ____/|
the credits for ART BOMB, the premiere issue, goes out to
A L M O S T A L L A S C i i L O G O ' z
crusader / mo'soul!
A L L D E S I G N / M A I N E D I T O R
mark ryder / mo'soul!
T H E A R T B O M B S T A F F
b / mo'soul
crusader / mo'soul!
desoto / mo'soul!
fatal / epsilon design!
manta / mo'soul
u-man / arclite
vinzi / mo'soul
mark ryder / mo'soul!
THE ART BOMB SUPPORT BOARD!
ANOTHER STEP - SYSOP: FATAL/EPSILON DESIGN - DIAL: +46-21-330-975
join the "art bomb" conference and upload your support for us
( please, name your file something unique )
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[ aRT^BoMB ISSUE:oNE // \
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| / / _\ / _/ / I N F O R M /\ T I O N
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____.| // \\_ _//____// _ \\_ /
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____ _______________________/____\/ ____/\___|____|______________/_____\
cDr|____|m's
if you like to support us with articles, news, votes or whatever,
you can find us loonies at these places
b / mo'soul ... b@opkuula.pp.fi
crusader / mo'soul ... janne.kotta@janus.swipnet.se
desoto / mo'soul ... desoto@2die4.com
fatal / epsilon design ... fatal@swipnet.se
manta / mo'soul ... manta@mailbox.calypso.net
u-man / arclite ... u-man@kq.qd.se
vinzi / mo'soul ... vinzi@varberg.se
mark ryder / mo'soul ... mark@idgonline.no
ANOTHER STEP - SYSOP: FATAL/EPSILON DESIGN - DIAL: +46-21-330-975
join the "art bomb" conference and upload your support for us
( please, name your file something unique )
snail-mail: AASHEIM, NORDBYVEIEN 209, 2013 SKJETTEN, NORWAY
(don't write anything else or it won't come through!)
MO'SOUL WWW-PAGE: WWW.VERY_VERY_SOON.I_HOPE
we're on IRC (channel #ascii) - try us live ;-)
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________ :: ______ ______ ________ _____ _____ ____ ___________________
\_ |____| // \\_ /_/ /_\ /____
| | _| / /_/ / _\ / t H /\ N X !
|______|___\. ____/\___/______\_____\___________\__ _________________
cDr|_____|m's
the holy people are listed here
:::.......::::
:::::::::::::: wise-k/jedi arts
:::::::::::::: tommy/epsilon design
:::::::::::::: axeblade/low profile
:::::::::::::: 2fast/jedi arts
:::::::::::::: siegel/tristar & red sector inc
:::::::::::::: weapon-x
:::::::::::::: tango/Twisted
:::::::::::::: mark ryder/mo'soul
:::::::::::::: vouck!
:::::::::::::: ranx/jedi arts
:::::::::::::: exocet/arclite
:::::::::::::: u-man/arclite
:::::::::::::: boheme
:::::::::::::: crusader/mo'soul
:::::::::::::: folar
:::::::::::::: hash
:::::::::::::: dartagnan
:::::::::::::: trooper
:::::::::::::: vietcong/oma
:::::::::::::: chrombacher/epsilon design
:::::::::::::: Java/epsilon design
:::::::::::::: nicko/twilight
:::::::::::::: warchild
:::::::::::::: the whole art bomb staff
::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT
::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::: IN ISSUE NUMBER ONE
::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::: PLEASE COME BACK FOR
::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::: ISSUE NUMBER TWO
::::::::::::::
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\\:::::::::::::://
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\\_ (____ _/ | \ \_ | \_ | \_ | \_ ____) _//
( // | \ | \ | \ | \\ )
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| \/_/ \________|______/__________/___T______/__________/ \_\/ |
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|\ ART BOMB PREMIERE ISSUE - CNN SPECIAL REPORT - THE NEWS /|
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_|________ /\_____)\\ / //(_____/\ _______|_
\: // \ _ _ / \\ :/
\ _ ___\( THE WORLD KEEPS TURNiNG )/___ _ /
_/ \_
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| · ··· A R C L I T E ··· · |
| |
| SY-KLONE and his board WHITE ROOM are no longer in arclite.. |
| (reason? when did you last see a colly from good'ol sy-klone? -ed) |
| |
| H2o! (formerly Contra-Leader) and his board RAVELAND have joined.. |
| |
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| · ··· A R T B O M B S T A F F ··· · |
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| right now it's all of mo'soul, and some talented homies like |
| FATAL/EPSILON DESIGN and U-MAN/ARCLITE working to ensure the |
| quality of the magazine. |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· C O N T R A ··· · |
| |
| H2o!, the leader of contra, left for ARCLITE with his board |
| RAVELAND. the inside story is that it was due to the in-activity |
| of most of the CONTRA members (nooooh, really?! -ed) |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· E P S I L O N D E S I G N ··· · |
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| TOMMY left EPSILON DESIGN. the reason is reported to be |
| that he thought the group had grown too big. |
| |
| |
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| · ··· F I R E A N D I C E ··· · |
| |
| big plans almost went through, FIRE & ICE almost came back to life |
| with the help of a fusion between the two groups: CONTRA & MO'SOUL |
| but that never happened. "why not?" you ask? MARK RYDER was moving |
| into his own appartment (good job son! -ed) where there was nooooo |
| phoneline installed. "so they had to do some organizing via snail- |
| mail then?!?" you wonder? nopes, 'cause h2O didn't want to do that |
| and that's why there's no FIRE&ICE alive today. (end of story -ed) |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· J E D I A R T S ··· · |
| |
| 2FAST didn't join up with LOW PROFILE, he's still |
| a member of JEDI ARTS |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· M O ' S O U L ··· · |
| |
| MANTA returned to the ascii scene. hearing that m'S wasn't taking |
| inn any more members, he joined STYLE. hearing from MARK RYDER |
| that mo'soul accepted more people & wanted him inn, he quickly |
| joined the evil servants - mo'soul ascii productions |
| (welcome mate'y! -ed) |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· O L D L E G E N D S ··· · |
| |
| we wondered where SKIN, AMBLIN and GODHEAD were at, and this is |
| what we found out. rumours or facts? who knows, you decide.. |
| |
| SKIN sold his amiga, and is now working to make money on the PC. |
| ( what the hell that means, you figure out...-ed ) |
| |
| AMBLIN is said to be active still (!!) - but only to call berlin |
| boards to leech stuff for his super wildcard (hands up those who'd |
| like a logo from him -ed). |
| |
| GODHEAD is said to be using his amiga to make body-pumping music.. |
| (body-pumping music!? body-fuckingwhat?-music? -ed) |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· S T Y L E ··· · |
| |
| MANTA came back to the ascii scene and joined up. |
| |
| MANTA left STYLE and joined MO'SOUL |
| |
| |
| |
| · ··· TRISTAR AND RED SECTOR INC! ··· · |
| |
| TRSI-INNOVATIONS has now got their own WWW-PAGES, take a look |
| at "HTTP://WWW.TRSI.DE/INNO/" |
| |
| the TRSI-INNOVATIONS crew has got some new e-mail addy's: |
| |
| siegel@trsi.de (Leader/Berlin section) |
| dr.dre@trsi.de (Leader/West Germany section) |
| strider@trsi.de (FAME Coder) |
| BloodRock@trsi.de (FAME.library, FileID.library) |
| Beatnik@trsi.de (FAME FullEd, FAME FFS) |
| ByteAndi@trsi.de (NewFiles, FileID, ByteKiller) |
| |
| |
|_ _ _:_ _ _|
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[ aRT^BoMB ISSUE:oNE // \
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___(_____))_ //_ _\\_ //_ // |
\ / / | | /_____/ _/ / i N T E R V I E W ! |
/__________/_________|______|__________\_______\ |
. cDr/m's__ ______ ______ _________ ____ .
| ______\// //______))_ // |._______ :
|_ \ \/ /_____/ || //|
:_/__________________ ____\___________________________________/\_____//_|
|_ _|
|/ \|
(_ ART BoMB PREMIERE ISSUE · ASCII TERRoRIST CAPTURED · THE INTERVIEW! _)
|/ \|
| (/) HiJACK/ARCLiTE got grilled >LIVE< by MARK RYDER/Mo'SoUL (/) |
_/| |\_
\_|___________________________________\___________________________________|_/
: _/ \_ :
\\_ _//
: _ ____(·)____ _ :
| |
| |
| interested in how my interview with.. |
| |
| [ H I J A C K O F A R C L I T E ] |
| |
| ..went? then turn the page and find out, it's all here! |
| NOTE! read in the NEWS section about the whole FIRE&ICE thing going on in |
| this interview (yes, I'm to damn lazy to edit it out now..) |
| |
| |
| this interview was made live & online with no pre-calculated questions or |
| other shite stuff...on a private channel on IRC |
| |
| >>> !IGNORE ALL THE FIRE&ICE REFERENCES IN THE INTERVIEW! <<< |
| >>> !READ THE NEWS SECTION WHY! <<< |
| |
| PS! "serious" people turn their heads away, please. |
|_ this was made in the middle of the night (hint!!) _|
|/ \|
/___ _ _ H E R E C O M E S T H E C A P T U R E _ _ ___\
[ MR ] goodie!!! you're here! this is a spontanious inverview that'll be in
the first issue of ART BOMB, which is going to be a FIRE&ICE
production - what do you think about that? (it's a m'S prod! -ed)
remember - all you say here will be in art bomb :)
[HiJACK] wait a mom =) ... I gotta invent something intelligent to say ;)
[ MR ] that line will be in art bomb, but I guess that's ok - it sounded
smart :) arn't you going to ask me how it's going to be a FIRE&ICE
production? not curious about that? please ask me, pleeeeeease... :)
(it's a mo'soul production, read the news section -ed)
[HiJACK] Why is it going to be a FIRE&ICE production?-)
[HiJACK] (remember to put YOUR lines too, or I have to make a capture ;) )
[ MR ] well, let me tell you Hijack: MO'SOUL and CONTRA are joining forces
and h2O wanted to re-start FIRE&ICE. so that's how come it's going
to be a FIRE&ICE production (yes, I'll put mine inn!! :))
(it's a mo'soul production, read the news section -ed)
what's up with ARCLITE these days? it seems dead the whole group..
[HiJACK] Hey hey hey! It's not dead... actually we are going to release the
biggest coop ever...
We got everybody on Arclite working on it, except g.e.m. (even
SY-KLONE is involved!)
[ MR ] excuse me while I have an orgasm..
any saucy details to give away? (art bomb prolly wont' be released
for a while 'cause I'm such a slow-ass ;))
[HiJACK] Also some non Arcliters are involved, like couple of graphicians
(Cyclone/Illusion, Mistral/Parallax, ...), and music is propably
going to be done by tjm/parallax... and the gui is coded by
mop/essence
[ MR ] sounds like a demo...IMPACT "world of ascii II" :) or is it going to
be like the old UPPERCLASS release that got some gfx&music from..
hm..TRSI methinks? (isn't this interview going well boys&girls?)
[HiJACK] Well first of all, impact's demo was an assembler coded demo which
was made to look like ansicoded one. My collection is going to have
an ansicoded intro which is ment to look like an assembler
coded one =)
[ MR ] a-ha, do you fake orgasms too? just wondering ... or do you do real
orgasms to pretend you're faking them?
[HiJACK] The collection itself is kinda like the collection from upperclass,
except that all the logos are ANSIANIMATED, and the gui is more
complex.
[ MR ] ok, enough serious talk - what about the orgams? I WANT TO KNOW!!!
[HiJACK] So what was the question? Do I fake orgasms? Yes of course. I'm a
100% fake. Every picture tells a lie.
[ MR ] oh,take pictures too,eh? know what I mean, nudge nudge,know what I
mean?
[HiJACK] Humm... not really. I don't confess anything. Everything you have
heard about me is a lie. Stay awake. You are what you see.
[ MR ] that's a jedi mind-trick that there, rite? hah, you can't fool me!
I know what you're trying to do!! but to get back to the arclite
power release: why isn't G.E.M featured? lazy? dead? gone missing?
homosexual? abducted by aliens?
[HiJACK] Well it is a mystery really. I think he was abducted. Exocet visited
his place, and it was empty. There was only a little note on his
desk....
IN CASE OF ABDUCTION
1. Remain where you are
2. Give or do whatever they ask
3. Forget everything that happens
(end of note)
[ MR ] awh, how sad. well - guess the aliens are trying to make him
pregnant now by mating him with another male they took from earth..
poor Green Erotic Monster..or, was it Green Eyed Monster? his name
suddenly sounds ironic (enough kidding about G.E.M, we love you!!)
anything you want me to ask you about? any question you'd always
dreamt about answering?
*** Sent DCC CHAT request to hijack
*** DCC chat connection to hijack[193.166.133.10,2536] established
[HiJACK] Hummdidumm. Dunno...
[ MR ] If I say "cream", what do you think of?
[HiJACK] Arclite. Cream of ascii scene
[ MR ] oh, I was thinking of putting some on a pair of female breats and
licking it of..oh, kids might read this? erm. cookie, that was what
I was thinking..erm..caugh..if I say "kingz"?
[HiJACK] Arclite. The kingz of ascii scene.
[ MR ] no question about the "Z" that's not supposed to be there at all?
[HiJACK] Nope. I guess it just your inventions, since you are so cool warez &
codez kid ;)
[ MR ] well, not I've got a GOOD one for you: why the HELL did I request a
DCC CHAT from you when we're not /MSG'ing eachother?
(donno what we're talking about? get a modem + internet abbo and get
on IRC!) I mean "now" not "not"..gawd, it's 00:45..what can you
expect for fucksake? 8) I mean darn's-sake..eh, no! I MEAN FUCKSAKE!
ANARCHY! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
[HiJACK] I guess you are just plain stupid?
[ MR ] sssssh, don't tell anyone!!
[HiJACK] Sorry.. you can edit that part
[ MR ] damn, now they all know :-( well, ANARCHY! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! now,
greet ONE person. not two, but ONE person. go on, I dear you - greet
ONE person..
[HiJACK] Greetings to SCHWA
[ MR ] see how that made the interview more interesting?
[HiJACK] You are not very good at this are you? Interviewing people I mean..
You gotta dig the dirt =) ... let me do the job for you...
[ MR ] SSSSSSSSH!!!! DON'T GIVE AWAY ALL MY SECRETS YOU GIT!
[HiJACK] Dear mister Hijack, is it true that you are actually the YOUNGEST
arclite member alive?
[ MR ] well...is it?
[HiJACK] Well yes it is true. But I am 20,5 years old, so the others are
pretty old farts
[ MR ] anyone in wheelchairs playing bingo?
[HiJACK] Nope, everybody is younger than 30 =) OK.. next question.. dear
mister Hijack, is it true that you bought a +PC!?!?!?!
[ MR ] pc? if you bought a pc, I'd have to kill myself right now..
[HiJACK] Yes it is true. I bought a pentium 150Mhz. And I don't hate it.
[ MR ] why? [there's a knife in my hand...hm]
[HiJACK] Because I'm studying datacommunication engineering, and it's kinda
hard without a PC. I need programs like word, mathcad, microcap,
excel, corel, c++, ...
[ MR ] but why not upgrade a toaster with a color tv or something nice?
btw: what a bunch of crap programs, none of them show's jpg's..?
[HiJACK] Blaah.. next question.... dear mister Hijack, is it true that you
have FINALLY moved to your own apartment?
[ MR ] no, I want to discuss the PC!! can't we, please? sod the appartment,
tell me about the toaster!
[HiJACK] Sorry interviewer, this menace to society (markryder) wants to talk,
but I'll get back to you soon, ok?
OK rydie, what about the pc?
[ MR ] erm...what color is it?
[HiJACK] Almost the same as my amiga... and it has a cool Hijack sticker in
the front... and an alien sticker
[ MR ] can I have the alien sticker?
pretty please with suggar on top?
[HiJACK] If the Xenon coated sticker is red, you have recently been abducted,
but I have forgotten everything about it Shit ... I ment I have been
abducted ;)
[ MR ] can't you give me something interesting? here I am trying to make a
perfectly serious and good interview,and you're just kidding around.
what am I going to do with you?
[HiJACK] It turns red every now and then....
Humm.. /bye ?
[ MR ] already? what if some one wants to know more? let's ask...anyone?
[HiJACK] AL-READY.LHA ... my next collection...
[ MR ] that's good piece of information that there! damn nice, fucking
great, pissin' awesome and phat shit - all in one. best we've had
this whole interview! I'm going ape shit now! but to end it all...
anything you'd like to add before we go? (funny jokes, stories
about horrid aliens?)
[HiJACK] You wanna end already? I was just getting started :)
[ MR ] ok - tell me about life in finland and how you feel it is to have
an own appartent while trying to study?
where do you keep the appartment while studying?
[HiJACK] Well I put it to my closet
[ MR ] is it also the same color as your amiga?
[HiJACK] Nope... I have confession to make. I don't even have my amiga here.
[ MR ] ARE YOU TALKING TO ME FROM YOUR PC?!?
[HiJACK] YES! And I'm also checking out some ufo pages with netscape..
that's why it takes so long to get an answer from me :)
[ MR ] ARGH! PC! ANARCHY! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! BLOOD EVERYWARE!!! AAAaa*...
[HiJACK] Check out http://www.ufomind.com/ Uhmhmm... dear mister Hijack, is
it a good time to ask some questions from you now?
[HiJACK] Not really, but go ahead anyway...
[HiJACK] Dear mister Hijack... is it true that you FINALLY got that
v.everything?
[HiJACK] Yes yes. And I also got a ti-92 with no batteries.
[ MR ] I AM THE GHOST OF MARK RYDER!! is that the same color as your amiga?
[HiJACK] Nope, they are both black. My amiga is red
[ MR ] red? poor thing, did you cut your wrist when your dad came hauling
with a PC too? or are you a part of some satanic cult that
sacrificed your amiga?
[HiJACK] Nope, I just have some leftovers from my adventures. It's actually
XENON coated alien blood, it is normally GREEN, but when it's within
1 mile of an alien, it will turn red.
[ MR ] red leftovers from adventures? what adventures? hijack goes pussy-
hunting at the all-virgin school of sex? oooh, did a virgin xenon?
naughty!!
[HiJACK] And as you know, THEY ARE HERE NOW.
[ MR ] RUN RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!
[HiJACK] Dear mister Hijack, do you have any final words?
[ MR ] lucky me, I've got a portable amiga so I can ask questions while
running...so, got any?
[HiJACK] Yes, I would like to send some greetings to all the nice dudes I
know, especially to all the Arcliters.
[HiJACK] Feel free to send fan mail to: rt3097@tutech.fi
[ MR ] what's all this green stuff around me all of a sudden?
[HiJACK] ARCLITE - There is no escape, because they are BIGGER THAN YOU and
that's why YOU MUST LOVE THEM
[HiJACK] P.S. I'm not schizophrenic, I'm stezotehic.
[ MR ] ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
where's Sigorney Beaver when you need her?
(btw: thanks for the interview mate -ed :))
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· THE CHARTS - INVALID AS F**K! (kind of..) ·
the charts this issue is here more to show how it CAN look,
not like how it really IS. what the hell am I babbeling about?!
MOST people got the votesheet where you could give 3 points at BEST
SOME people got the NEW votesheet where you can give 10 points as BEST!
THAT IS WHY THE CHARTS THIS ISSUE ARE TOTALLY *INVALID*
(sorry, we all fuck up..)
that is also why we've dropped the ALL-TIME charts this time!
we cannot start the all-time charts with the points given this issue,
it wouldn't be right.
be sure to get the NEW votesheet and VOTE FOR ISSUE #2!
here are the invalid charts..atleast you get SOME idea of who people like
...
__________
__________ _____ ______\_ _/
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. · bEST aSCII aRTISTs · /
|_ _____ __________________________ //\ _
\//__\\/
: :
| : . THE ARTISTS VOTED AS BEST ONES THIS ISSUE : |
| t h|a n k s t o a l l w h o t o o k t i m e t o v o t e |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| NoW | LAST | ARTiST GROUP | POiNTS |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| #o1 | NEW! | mogue arclite | 28 |
| #o2 | NEW! | u-man arclite | 17 |
| #o3 | NEW! | exocet arclite | 15 |
| #o4 | NEW! | h2o arclite | 14 |
| #o4 | NEW! | stylez contra | 14 |
| #o5 | NEW! | danzig arclite | 13 |
| #o6 | NEW! | crusader mo'soul | 9 |
| #o7 | NEW! | mark ryder mo'soul | 6 |
| #o8 | NEW! | b (ex.nup!) mo'soul | 5 |
| #o8 | NEW! | hijack arclite | 5 |
| #o8 | NEW! | karma arclite | 5 |
| #o8 | NEW! | rapid contra | 5 |
| #o9 | NEW! | desoto mo'soul | 4 |
| #o9 | NEW! | sy-klone arclite | 4 |
| #o9 | NEW! | trivial low profile | 4 |
| #1o | NEW! | 911 g-style | 3 |
| #1o | NEW! | gozz epsilon design | 3 |
| #1o | NEW! | maz upperclass | 3 |
| #1o | NEW! | redskin art | 3 |
| #1o | NEW! | shapechanger arclite | 3 |
| #1o | NEW! | vinzi mo'soul | 3 |
| #11 | NEW! | 2fast jedi arts | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | 610 nettwerk | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | chrombacher epsilon design | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | fatal epsilon design | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | godhead - | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | manta mo'soul | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | red devil dezign | 2 |
| #11 | NEW! | tommy ex.epsilon design | 2 |
| #12 | NEW! | nemesis save our souls | 1 |
| #12 | NEW! | rasta epsilon design | 1 |
| #12 | NEW! | rip art | 1 |
| #12 | NEW! | stezotehic style | 1 |
| #12 | NEW! | tango twisted | 1 |
| #12 | NEW! | vouck indy | 1 |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| ARCLITE POWER! woo-hah, they've got us all in check. damn!! |
| congratulations & free hookers must be sent out to MOGUE for beeing |
| n u m e r o u n o ! |
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| : . THE ASCII BOARDS VOTED AS BEST THIS ISSUE : |
| t h|a n k s t o a l l w h o t o o k t i m e t o v o t e |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| NoW | LAST | BOARD SYSOP | POiNTS |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| #o1 | NEW! | boondocks sal-one | 13 |
| #o2 | NEW! | final impact u-man | 1o |
| #o2 | NEW! | spaced out zoltrix | 1o |
| #o3 | NEW! | another step fatal | 8 |
| #o4 | NEW! | the northern palace zinko | 7 |
| #o5 | NEW! | mos eisley demolee | 6 |
| #o6 | NEW! | wastelands zanok | 6 |
| #o7 | NEW! | interchange princip | 5 |
| #o8 | NEW! | raging fire trivial | 4 |
| #o9 | NEW! | death row shadower | 3 |
| #o9 | NEW! | digital underground stz | 3 |
| #o9 | NEW! | route 69 el gun | 3 |
| #o9 | NEW! | the charge ecs | 3 |
| #o9 | NEW! | the junction slapshot | 3 |
| #1o | NEW! | bumble bee land baffle | 2 |
| #1o | NEW! | digital suicide airworx | 2 |
| #1o | NEW! | homeless slime | 2 |
| #1o | NEW! | ice zone phobia | 2 |
| #1o | NEW! | skynet zod | 2 |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| sally's hitting strong with boondocks. no wonder really. who hasn't |
| heard of boondocks? let's give him some megz for the number one spot! |
| congratulations mate! (now give us a colly! hehe) |
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| : . THE COLLECTIONS VOTED BEST THIS ISSUE : |
| t h|a n k s t o a l l w h o t o o k t i m e t o v o t e |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| NoW | LAST | FILENAME ARTIST | POiNTS |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| #o1 | NEW! | m's-knok.txt mark ryder | 9 |
| #o2 | NEW! | a&m-back.txt u-man & mark ryder | 8 |
| #o3 | NEW! | m's-odds.txt desoto | 5 |
| #o3 | NEW! | se-getse.txt stezotehic | 5 |
| #o4 | NEW! | al-tet.txt mogue | 3 |
| #o4 | NEW! | c!-space.txt h2o | 3 |
| #o4 | NEW! | h!-yaf.txt threaz | 3 |
| #o4 | NEW! | lp!-spin.txt trivial | 3 |
| #o5 | NEW! | al!-dod.txt mogue | 2 |
| #o5 | NEW! | c!-hoh.lha 2fast | 2 |
| #o5 | NEW! | e^d-scgr.txt gozz | 2 |
| #o5 | NEW! | e^d-guru.txt grimlock | 2 |
| #o5 | NEW! | m's-evil.txt mark ryder | 2 |
| #o5 | NEW! | se-nse.txt speeddevil | 2 |
| #o6 | NEW! | lp!-hate.txt ramon | 1 |
| #o6 | NEW! | se-kasin.txt stezotehic | 1 |
| #o6 | NEW! | sos-quit.txt wise-k | 1 |
| #o6 | NEW! | -t-tatf3.txt relief | 1 |
| #o6 | NEW! | .vk-anti.txt vouck | 1 |
| #o7 | NEW! | NO ENTRY | O |
| #o8 | NEW! | NO ENTRY | o |
| #o9 | NEW! | NO ENTRY | o |
| #1o | NEW! | NO ENTRY | o |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| I like this chart, there's something very very special about it :-) heh |
| congratulations to me, I hit the number one spot! damn, I'm smooth! :-) |
| (yee, yee - enough..) |
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| : . THESE ARE THE GROUPS VOTED AS BEST THIS ISSUE : |
| t h|a n k s t o a l l w h o t o o k t i m e t o v o t e |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| NoW | LAST | GROUP | POiNTS |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| #o1 | NEW! | arclite | 51 |
| #o2 | NEW! | mo'soul | 33 |
| #o3 | NEW! | epsilon design | 27 |
| #o4 | NEW! | contra | 19 |
| #o5 | NEW! | style | 7 |
| #o6 | NEW! | twisted | 4 |
| #o7 | NEW! | art | 3 |
| #o7 | NEW! | jedi arts | 3 |
| #o8 | NEW! | dezign | 2 |
| #o8 | NEW! | nettwerk | 2 |
| #o9 | NEW! | head | 1 |
| #o9 | NEW! | house of style | 1 |
| #o9 | NEW! | low profile | 1 |
| #1o | NEW! | NO ENTRY | o |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| ARCLITE?!? AGAIN!?! FUC...oh well, they're good - let's just face it :) |
| congratulations matey'o's, keep on rockin |
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___\ _/___.| //_____)) // /____ / _ \\ // //_ _/
\ \ || / / / / / \\ | |
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cDr. |_____| _____ _______ ________ _______ :m's
: ____\ // _ \\_ //_ /____ :
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/__________________/___________________\
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. | \ / /__\\ //_ ' | .
|____ /__\ /___\ ____|
/__________ /\ ____________\
· )// _\\( ·
: / \ :
| _ __ __ _ |
|_ ( THE CHILL OUT ZONE - LET YOUR MIND TRAVEL FOR A MOMENT! ) _|
|(_ _)|
| / ..F.E.A.T.U.R.E.D...S.T.U.F.F.. \ |
|/ \|
| |
| |
| BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA |
| |
| THE PRODIGY - SOME INFO'Z (pictures available) |
| |
| playstation preview!: TEKKEN III (screenshots available!) |
| |
| playstation preview!: RESIDENT EVIL 2 (screenshots available) |
| |
| playstation preview!: SOUL EDGE (screenshots available) |
| |
| playstation preview!: ALIEN VS PREDATOR |
| |
| playstation preview!: BEDLAM! |
| |
| playstation preview!: HEART OF DARKNESS |
| |
| playstation hardware: NEW 360 SLOT GAME SAVE CARTRIDGE! (pic.available) |
| |
| PLAYSTATION NEWS! |
| |
| YO MAMA JOKES - PART #1 |
| |
| |
|__ _ __ __ _ __|
| // (_ PSX AND PRODIGY SHOTS? hope you downloaded M'S-001B.LHA _) \\ |
:/ _/ _ _ _ _ _ _ \_ \:
/__/\__\\_______________________\//( )!( )\\/_______________________//__/\__\
/\ \/ \\:// \/ /\
/__\ _/ /__\
\
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· ··· DEAD MAN TALKIN' BY DEAN ··· ·
To the viewers of "America's Most Wanted".....you are idiots to even pay
attention to a program hosted by a man who has profited so financially from
his son's death.....FUCK JOHN WALSH!!!
Dean is currrently an inmate at San Quentin Prison in California and is
awaiting his fate on "Death Row". His desire in these columns is to give you
an idea of what it is like as you wait to die. Bill Noquera is also on Death
Row a few tiers down from Dean and spends his time drawing.
Column #1 of 11
Hello, my name is Dean, I am sitting here in my cell on Death Row in San
Quentin Prison. I do not intend to discuss my case because that is not why I
have agreed to do this page. I would not feel comfortable using this forum to
try and focus attention on myself, I am not the issue here. What I do feel is
important is I give you a perspective of the Death Penalty, the justice (or
"just-us", as a wise man once said) system, life in prison and hopefully I
can give you a reasonably coherent account of what it is like from where I
sit. You have all heard what the media, politicians, and others who have
their own agenda, have to say about crime and the Death Penalty, so maybe I
can provide some balance to that.
Although I said that I do not intend to discuss my case, I want to say that I
vehemently deny committing the crimes that I am sitting here on Death Row
for. The reason that I mention this is because I feel it is important for
you to know this since it is why I have the attitudes and opinions that I
will be talking about.
After Alex and I discussed doing this page, I hung up the telephone and it
started to sink in and I wondered what I had gotten myself into. Trying to
explain what life on Death Row is like, fighting for your life in the court
system, and trying to keep a grip on your sanity in the process. One of the
difficult things, is to keep your perspective and not let yourself become
overwhelmed by the incredible pressure and stress that you have to deal with,
not just in dealing with the system, but also in just trying to stay alive
and survive from day to day in here.
There are people in here that give up and commit suicide, others slowly lose
their mind and end up being medicated. The prison is concerned to the point
that anyone here is able to function from day to day until they are to be
executed and psyche drugs help towards that goal.
After talking with Alex, I didn't have a clue where I should start, what to
say and how to say it. There are so many different dynamics involved that I
seriously doubt if it is possible to adequately explain what it's like. It
would be like somebody from another country asking you to explain what
America is like. You can talk in generalities, but when it gets down to the
nuances that really get to the heart of it, you just cannot put it into words
that will do it justice. The best I can do is talk about some of my
experiences and observations and let you draw your own conclusions based on
that.
I am not a spokesman for anyone else on Death Row, or in prison, or the
county jails, nor is it my intent to be one. Every person going through the
system has their own thoughts and opinions about this insane environment that
we try to survive in and I wouldn't presume to speak for them. But, you are
stuck with me and, even though I will try to be objective about it, I can't
help but be subjective in many of the things I will say. You can take what I
say with a grain of salt, you might think that I am full of shit, or you
might agree with what I say, all I want is for you to keep from making a
judgment until you hear what I say. The news media says that more than 80% of
you support the Death Penalty and since we all seem to dance to whatever tune
the news media plays, I will assume that most of you are not sympathetic
towards me, or the others sitting on Death Row. All I ask is that you keep an
open mind.
There is the sense that people on Death Row are slobbering animals that
should be kept in a cage and executed as soon as can be arranged. I have even
heard on talk shows where people have advocated an electric chair right in
the courtroom, and as soon as the verdict is rendered, strap the person in
and cook them. Never mind that the system makes mistakes, what are a few
innocent people being killed, as long as you can get rid of the others in the
process. But most of the people on Death Row are fairly normal. Sure, there
are the ones here that I would never turn my back on. There are some people
here that would make Hannibal Lechter seems like a nice guy. But as I said,
most guys here are not slobbering lunatics or cold blooded killers - but
there are some here that could be put in that category.
If anyone is interested in asking me any questions, I will do my best to
answer them. You can send them into the e-mail address on this page. It takes
about 3-4 weeks, after the mail arrives at the prison, before I will get it,
so be patient, and I will do my best to get back to you. I will not talk
about my case, my personal life, or anything else that could be interpreted
as self-serving. I will be glad to talk about the issues, life in here, or
other related topics if you want to ask about them. Just don't be discouraged
if it takes a little while. Also, if I get too many questions, I will not be
able to get to all of them. A bit presumptuous of me, but I was just trying
to cover all the possibilities.
One last thing before I go. I am not being paranoid when I say that I will do
this page for as long as I can, but I have no doubts what-so-ever that the
prison will harass me for doing this. And they do some really dirty things to
people that they have a grudge with. They hate for anyone to talk about what
it is really like in here, or what the system is like, so they could come
down on me or set me up in some way so that they can cut me off. If this
happens, Alex will be able to inform you. It isn't that I intend to try and
portray anyone, or anything in a false manner...it isn't necessary because
the truth is enough. I will write for as long as I can and I look forward to
being able to "talk" to all of you.
Peace, Dean
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· ··· BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD, MOVIE STARS? ··· ·
Yep, MTV's simple-minded metal heads have leaped from the tube to the silver
screen in a feature-length Hollywood epic -- well, sort of -- called "Beavis
and Butt-head Do America."
The movie's Tinsel Town premier drew the likes of director Quentin Tarantino
and TV sitcom star Roseanne, and the goofy teen-age duo has already appeared
on David Letterman's show and on the cover of Rolling Stone.
It's also been an interesting time for the man who created them, Mike Judge.
Especially considering his hard-to-believe "secret."
"I haven't told my mom about Beavis and Butt-head yet," said Judge, trying to
keep a straight face. "She thinks I'm a stockbroker.
Judge is making money like a stockbroker, anyway. Back in 1992, while still a
graduate student, he invested in a $200 camera and made a small cartoon about
two 14-year olds obsessed with sex and bodily functions.
INSTANT CELEBRITIES
Beavis and Butt-head became almost instant celebrities when they appeared on
MTV's animated show "Liquid Television." Their own, self-titled show
followed.
The characters gained unwanted attention when a 5-year-old boy in Ohio set
his sister on fire. Beavis and Butt-head's unabashed fascination with flames
set an example the boy followed with tragic consequences, claimed the dead
girl's mother.
Other parents criticized an episode in which the characters took a tumble in
a clothes dryer. A harmless ride in the world of animation, but not really a
good example for impressionable youngsters.
MTV learned its lesson and soon moved the show to a later hour. Now in its
fourth season, "Beavis and Butt-head" has spawned countless merchandising
opportunities and is the network's highest rated series. What else was left
except the big screen?
ON THE LOOSE
The movie's plot is simple, if appropriately ridiculous: Our heroes lose
their TV and set off across country, with government agent Robert Stack in
hot pursuit. Cloris Leachman of "Phyllis" fame plays an elderly lady on a
plane. And then there's a familiar voice not credited at the end of the
movie. Demi Moore, perhaps?
Judge won't say. He merely plugs the movie when asked who the voice is.
"Ummm, you know, you can figure it out for yourself if you go watch it," said
Judge
Paramount, the studio backing the dim-witted duo, is promoting Beavis and
Butt-head like major stars. And what do the two kids think of all the fuss?
If you watch regularly, you already know: "This sucks."
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· ··· T H E P R O D I G Y - I N F O z ··· ·
their coming album, entitled "YEAR 2000", has (for those interested)
the following track listing
FIRESTARTER, BREATHE, BLOW YOUR MIND, FUNKY SHIT, BENNY BLANCO
WE EAT RHYTHM, MINEFIELDS, ROCK'N'ROLL, SMASH MY BITCH DOWN
THAT RAGGA TUNE?, MONKEY MAFIA MONKEY, WE CAME HERE
there will come an OFFICIAL PRODIGY WWW PAGE. right now, we've only
got independent people making their own prodigy pages. the OFFICIAL
page can be found on HTTP://WWW.PRODIGY.CO.UK
already online, an FTP with pictures & music - try it at:
FTP://PRODIGY.IHR.QLA.AC.UK
_ ___ ___ _
( THE STORY ABOUT THE PRODIGY )
The Prodigy story starts with a 12'' EP called What Evil Lurks the four
tracks of which were taken from the youthful Liam Howlett's first demo tape.
The EP was enthusiastically received on the then-massive rave scene, and it
remains a hardcore club anthem to this day, as well as being one of the most
sought-after pieces of dance vinyl of all time. On the back of the
underground EP's success, The Prodigy gigged extensively throughout the UK,
and were able to make their first trips abroad. In Italy they were hailed as
pop royalty and mobbed by ecstatic ravers. On August 12th 1991, The Prodigy
released their second single - the legendary Charly. There was a huge buzz
around the track months before it's release, and that excitement was
justified when Charly shot to No 1 in the National Dance Charts and to no3
in the Gallup Top 40. 'Charly' inspired a string of copycat records, and
triggered the notoriously heated 'is rave dead' debate. Amid all the furore
it was easy to miss the fact that Charly was one of the most successful dance
records of the time, and far better than any of the opportunist tunes that
came in it's wake. Twenty-two year old Liam Howlett is the musical force
behind the Prodigy sound, although there are three other members who
contribute to the live performance - Maxim Reality, Leeroy Thornhill and
Keith Flint. Liam was once the DJ for the London rap act Cut To Kill, but he
became dissilusioned with the rap scence's aggressive attitude after
experiencing the 'Love, Peace and Happiness' that dominated the rave scene.
Liam is also a classically trained pianist, whose ambition once was 'to get a
record deal and put out a few tunes'. That goal was acheived very quickly, so
Liam is now concentrating on maintaining his status as the most successful
hardcore underground act, blending his unique sound of hip-hop beats and
manic house music, and, most importantly, keeping the crowds happy. The next
single was released on December 30th 1991. Although Everybody in The Place
made an earlier appearance as a track on the What Evil Lurks EP, it managed
to better the chart success of 'Charly' by peaking at number two. Only the
shamelessly reissued 'Bohemian Rhapsody' kept the single from the top spot.
The following September, Fire became The Prodigy's third hit single, paving
the way for an album. Up until the release of The Prodigy Experience there
had been no truly successful long players from the hard dance scene. The
Prodigy's debut, however, completely rewrote the rule book. The band were
determined to give their followers value for money, and the combination of
new material and otherwise unavailable remixes of the singles which made up
the album was clearly appreciated by the thousands who bought it. The Prodigy
Experience entered the chart at number 11, was quickly awarded a gold disc,
and then remained in the Top 40 for 25 weeks. Out of Space followed hard on
the heels of the L.P, and became another Top15 hit, as did the last single
from The Prodigy's first phase, Wind It Up. Despite the huge success of The
Prodigy's rave-oriented, breakbeat - derived sound, Liam was increasingly
feeling the need to develop his musical style. Because of touring in
Australia, Holland, Germany, Italy and America and remixing artists as
diverse as Jesus Jones, Front 242 and The Art of Noise, Liam had been exposed
to a lot of new influences, and he wanted to reflect that in his future work.
As he put it, "I realised that the band had to progress and evolve, that I
had to get back to the music and move forward". When One Love appeared in
October 1993, it was clear that Liam had done just that. One Love had more of
a techno feel than The Prodigy's previous work, but the band's supporters
took this change of direction in their stride and the single shot to Number
8. The single's progress was no doubt helped by the most ambitious video that
the band had made so far. The One Love video was completely computer
generated, made using brand new technology from the States, and put together
over a demanding six weeks. The result was fantastic, and a definate advance
for the band. No Good (Start The Dance) was released on May 16th 1994, and
became one of The Prodigy's most successful records to date. The single was
perhaps more accessible than anything else the band had done, and it reached
number 4 in the charts, spending an incredible seven weeks in the Top 10.
There could have been no better introduction to the band's second LP. When
Music For The Jilted Generation was released in July 1994 it was phenomenally
successful both critically and commercially. As the album entered the charts
at number 1, the 'indie' papers unleashed torrents of praise. The NME
described Liam as 'a Robocop and a modern day Beethoven rolled into one'.
Select said Music For The Jilted Generation was 'the best electronic pop
record you'll hear this year', while Melody Maker called the album "bloody
essential". The public agreed. Music For The Jilted Generation went Gold
within two weeks of its release, and has now sold over a million copies
worldwide. A spate of award nominations have followed in its wake - the band
were nominated for the Mercury Music Prize, won the MTV Best Dance award, won
the best Dance LP at the Independent Dance Awards, and have been nominated
for Best dance Act at both the Brits and the NME's alternative: The Brats
Throughout their career, the band have toured almost non-stop. 1994 and 1995
continued in this proud tradition, as The Prodigy played all round the world,
and became a leading fixture on the International festival circuit. Keith's
radical flame-haired image put him on the cover of the NME and many other
publications worldwide as the band wowed audiences from Iceland to Japan and
back again. In 1995 'Poison' became The Prodigy's 9th consecutive top 15 hit,
Electronic Punks put them into the video chart as well as the music chart,
and they were universally hailed as the best act at the Glastonbury festival,
confirming the band's metamorphosis from rave crowd-pleasers into one of the
most exciting and adventurous live acts in the world. And what Liam's new
material - due to see the light of day in January 1996 - will bring is
anyone's guess. The Prodigy just keep moving forward.
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· ··· PLAYSTATION GAME-PREVIEW [ TEKKEN 3 ] ··· ·
t e k k e n I I I
_ ___ ___ _
( shots available in archive : M'S-001B.LHA )
According to SuperZero Game Xpress, Tekken 3 was revealed at the AM Expo in
Hong Kong. Currently only 30% complete, the game is just out for testing.
There were 9 characters selectable. They move even more realistic than
before. This game is very important for the PlayStation. Tekken 3 is supposed
to be running on an upgraded version of the System 11 board, and when it
comes out for the PS, a plug-in will be included to upgrade the PS'
capabilities. This will insure a near-perfect arcade conversion, and perhaps
other high quality arcade games will be ported over as well.
"Namco has finally released the first official Tekken 3 information, and it's
amazing! The [Image] storyline takes place 19 years after Tekken 2.
Apparently, Jun Kazama won the King of Iron Fist 2 tournament, and, in the
process, was somehow impregnated by Devil Kazuya. Er... No, I guess I don't
really want to know how that happened. Immaculate conception or not, Jun
gives birth to Kazuya's son, who she names Jin. His grandfather, Heihachi,
realizes that a mysterious, living power called "Toshin" or "Fighting God"
exists in Jin, and when Jin turns 15 he begins to train him. Four years
later, The King of Iron Fist Tournament 3 is called,
and the 19-year-old Jin enters.."
"Since Tekken 3 takes place nearly two decades after 2, all of the returning
characters are [Image] extremely old. For instance, Paul Pheonix is now 46,
Lei Woolong is 45, Law is 46, and King is 51. Evidently, these five
characters plus the seemingly ageless Yoshimitsu are the only characters to
return... all the rest will be new. Gameplay details are non-existent, but
from these shots we can infer that some stages have actual walls, Fighting
Vipers-style. There's still no word on the hardware, (other than that it's
definitely not System 11) either, but rumors point to an upgraded version
of System 11 called System 12..."
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· ··· PLAYSTATION GAME-PREVIEW [ RESIDENT EVIL II ] ··· ·
r e s i d e n t e v i l I I
_ ___ ___ _
( shots available in archive : M'S-001B.LHA )
The main characters Leon and Elza are both from different backgrounds, in
fact, they don't even know each other, but eventually will wind up meeting
each other somewhere. Depending on which character you play, the story will
have some differences. But unlike the prequel, using either character will
not have a difference in the difficulty, that means both are of equal
challenge !
The plot is the direct continuation from the prequel, but none of the main
characters from Resident Evil will be reappearing. This time, Capcom is
making the game much more closer to reality, with additions of realistic
traps and dungeons. The ending of Resident Evil 2 is expected to give the
audience a deeper side to Resident Evil. This is one thing we can't wait to
see! The game will also be concentrating more on the "height" element, so
players will now have to be more cautious of what is above and below them.
the weapons featured in the game will include a new model of beretta, which
can fire three rounds with one pull of the trigger(sort of a semi-automatic
handgun ). This beretta will have 21 shots in 1 cartridge. The shotgun and
colt python from Resident Evil will also be making a comeback. At certain
times, players can pick up a certain weapon in the room to kill off the
zombies... probably SMGs and flame throwers are in this category, but
Capcom has yet to reveal what this is all about. There are costume changes
in Resident Evil 2, such as bullet proof vests to increase protection. If a
particular costume has a pouch of some sort, it enables the player to store
more items than the usual..
In other Resident Evil news, a PC-3D Engine version of Resident Evil is
planned to be released, which will include original features that were not
in the Playstation version. Also, Capcom has made an agreement with a German
movie production company Constantine Films to make a motion picture based on
Resident Evil. It is set for release in Japan end of 1997, and the production
cost is estimated at $20 million. Constantine Films will be directing the
movie and Capcom will be handling cinematography with the usage of CG
animation..
The horror continues...... And forget about what you have heard earlier
about a Saturn Resident Evil 2. Capcom has no plans of releasing it on any
other system other than PlayStation. Circa July 25. The members of S.T.A.R.S.
reportedly missing have now returned safely. From their testimony,
investigators have found that the building in the deep forest was a
laboratory experimenting and manufacturing biological weapons. Based on the
studies of the chemistry team, it has been revealed that the giant medical
corporation "Umbrella" has been performing the biological experiments. The
top executives of Umbrella were immediately arrested, and the company was
shut down completely. Now called "The Umbrella Incident", media around the
world has made aware their biological experiments and conspiracies of
terrorism. While this was occuring, another fearful incident was already
starting... The peaceful Racoon City is showing signs of abnormality once
again. It all started with a small skin disease. The citizens demanded an
investigation, as they suspect the skin disease may be related to the
Umbrella incident. But the government assured them that the case was closed
and the skin disease was just an unrelated incident. But this skin disease
has infected the whole city with tremendous speed. The peoples' entire bodies
become sore, then immediately their speech, sight, and movement functions are
damaged. Within a few days after the attack of the disease, hundreds of lives
are lost, and the place has become a death city. Then they all arise from the
dead and a new nightmare has begun. Attacking the few survivors, these dead
men walking devour them! Those attacked now also arise as they join the rest,
leaving the city completely disfunctial. This story will start off at the
Lacoon Police Department. In search of a way to escape the horror, the
desperate survival begins!!! Leon Scott Kennedy has just finished full
training and now is a rookie cop. He is to report to the Racoon Police
Department, as he gets involved into this horrific incident. Will his
training cover up the inexperience? Elza Walker, 19, female. She tours around
the country joining motorcycle races. As she receives word that she is
accepted for the Racoon University, she heads off with her bike not knowing
whats about to face her. She is very calm in any situation, and takes
courageous actions(?) as she passes through the city full of zombies. In
Resident Evil 2, their costume change will affect the character status and
the items which they can hold. Now, both weapons and costumes are an
important factor in the game. Few hand guns and a shotgun are already
prepared for weapons to be used, but specific models of the guns are still
under plans. Leon, at start, only wears light clothing and has a shoulder
holster with his gun. He can later on acquire a police uniform and bullet
proof vest. As for Elza, she wears a bike-racer suit in the beginning, but
she also will acquire bullet proof vest and gun belt. The characters from the
prequel are reported to be in a nearby hospital, but there is a possible
chance that they may reappear in the story. Elza reaches the police
department as she managed to evade the zombies on the streets. But what she
saw was the entrance gate about to be crushed down as the policeman zombies
are squeezing in. Leon is inside the office as he waits for rescue teams. As
his comrades become zombies with time passing by, increasing the danger of
his life, he decides to find a route to escape. To serve and protect, these
police officers now have turned into zombies, and both Leon and Elza are now
their bait...
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· ··· PLAYSTATION GAME-PREVIEW [ SOUL EDGE! ] ··· ·
s o u l e d g e
_ ___ ___ _
( shots available in archive : M'S-001B.LHA )
GAME DEVELOPER : Namco NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 2
SPLIT SCREEN OPTION: No SAVE GAME OPTION: Yes
Grabbing your opponent by the scuff of the neck, throwing him into the dirt
and slicing him in half with a razor-sharp blade should be double the fun,
but so far on the PlayStation it hasn`t been!
Criticom and Toshindens characters carried weapons, but the implementation of
them into the gameplay of each title was poor and no match for the sheer
excitement of the hand to hand combat offered in Tekken!!
Now Namco (the makers of Tekken and Tekken 2) are set to put this right, with
a conversion of the highly acclaimed arcade game SOUL EDGE.
The setting is 16th century Japan, a country beset by civil wars. The myth of
the Soul Edge, an invisible sword, lures eight fighting heroes together.
Incorporating day to night transition, beautiful 3D backdrops and fighters
that will exceed the standards that Namco set in Tekken2!
Six of the eight characters use their weapons to defend themselves. During
the game, when a player blocks with their weapon, an energy bar records the
damage. When this bar reaches zero, the weapon is lost, leaving the character
to continue the fight using hands and fists -- a bit of a disadvantage when
you are faced with an opponent wielding an AXE THE SIZE OF RUSSIA !
Two of the characters do not have any weapons whatsoever, but are protected
with leather-like skin and thus lose far less energy than would be expected
The true 3D nature of this game will allow fighters to roll in and out of the
screen, moves such as side-stepping the opponent will now be possible. This
should take the fighting genre to a new level and push the PlayStation even
further than before..
So basically, SOUL EDGE will be TEKKEN 2 with weapons and must therefore be
at the top of every beat-em-up fans wish-list!!
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· ··· PLAYSTATION GAME-PREVIEW [ ALIEN VS PREDATOR! ] ··· ·
a l i e n v s p r e d a t o r
GAME DEVELOPER : Fox Interactive NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 1
SPLIT SCREEN OPTION: No SAVE GAME OPTION: Yes
The Story So Far...
SURVIVAL IS THE ORDER OF THE DAY, when inside research station Pandora, on
Varicella 413 (a frozen planet in a far off galaxy), scientists are
experimenting with the most dangerous biological weapon of all time - THE
ALIEN.
Sabotaged by rivals, Pandora becomes a slaughterhouse filled with
experimental breeds including the cunning PREDATOR.
Take your pick and play as either the Alien protecting the hive, a Predator
hunting for honor, or a Colonist defending the base.
The objective to all of this is quite simple........ the last one alive, is
the winner!
The graphics are rendered in HIGH RESOLUTION 3D and the audio will utilise
bone chilling sounds, to deliver a first person action thriller that aims to
supercede all that have gone before it!
Expected release spring 1997
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· ··· PLAYSTATION GAME-PREVIEW [ BEDLAM ] ··· ·
b e d l a m
GAME DEVELOPER : GT Interactive NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 1-2
SPLIT SCREEN OPTION: No SAVE GAME OPTION : Yes
OPTIONS: 2 player Deathmatch
The Story So Far...
Set in the future, genetically engineered BioMechs have rebelled against
their human masters and gained control of the planet. Forced to live
underground in the sewers, you take charge of a crack 3 man mercenary team.
Armed to the teeth, you must defeat the BioMechs and return the planet to
mankind.
Following an impressive rendered intro, you are dropped into one of 5 city
locations to begin your battle for freedom. Set over 36 levels, your 3 man
team must perform a number of missions, each of varying difficulty. Your
orders could be to liberate the captive humans, locate hidden switches or
perhaps to destroy a chosen building. You are able to switch between team
members at any time as all three are under your control.
On each section you will be required to perform a number of tasks that will
help your squad to move swiftly through the level. By switching off electric
fences and lowering platforms, you will access new areas, where power-ups may
be collected. If you pick up any golden money icons, they can be cashed in at
the end of the mission in exchange for extra weapons, bombs, or armor, which
can be shared among your squad.
Using an isometric view point, similar to Project Overkill, allows you to
marvel at the detailed graphics where just about everything on the screen can
be blown up.
Mirage, the developers, are looking to include a timed, 2 player link-up
Deathmatch mode which can only add to the lastability of Bedlam.
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· ··· PLAYSTATION GAME-PREVIEW [ HEART OF DARKNESS! ] ··· ·
h e a r t o f d a r k n e s s
GAME DEVELOPER : Virgin Interactive NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 1
SPLIT SCREEN OPTION: No SAVE GAME OPTION: Yes
The Story So Far...
Close your eyes........ and drift into the the world of dreams known as THE
HEART OF DARKNESS. All of the creatures that have haunted you in your
imaginary dreams suddenly come alive, with the intent of preventing you from
ever awakening!
A combination of movie quality animation and arcade style action has made
this game one of the most anticipated PlayStation releases for quite some
time.
Seven worlds have to be negotiated, each inhabited by creatures more deadly
than the last. You will need to use all of your adventure gaming experience
to solve the many puzzles on offer together with the fast reactions of a
shoot-em-up expert to defeat your foes.
A completely original music score will add a further dimension to this game.
Written by Bruce Broughton (of Tombstone fame) and performed by a full
orchestra, this game promises to set new standards in PlayStation gaming.
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· ··· PLAYSTATION HARDWARE [ NEW 360 SLOT GAME SAVE CARTRIDGE ] ··· ·
_ ___ ___ _
( shots available in archive : M'S-001B.LHA )
The latest product in the hugely successful Memory Card Plus range, the new
360 slot game save cartridge, is now available for the Sony PlayStation.
Designed and developed in the UK by the team responsible for the award
winning Pro Action Replay range of video game enhancers.
TECHNICAL INFO AND FEATURES :
* 24 Meg of game save storage.
* Provides 24 times the capacity of a standard
game save cartridge.
* Compatible with games with save feature.
* New flash technology for high speed data
compression.
* Features new LED page display system.
* Joypad page selection system.
* Gamesave indicator.
* Simple plug in design.
* Styled to compliment PlayStation
* 1 year warranty
* Price £49.99 available NOW!
For more information on the new Datel product range or to obtain review
product please contact Mark Wallace at Datel on 01782 744707 or e-mail
mark@datel.co.uk Also check out Datel's website, HTTP://WWW.DATEL.CO.UK
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· ··· PLAYSTATION NEWS! ··· ·
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"X-COM - The Terror From The Deep" News! Microprose will release of X-COM for
the PlayStation. However it will be released ONLY in Europe due to some
decision made by Sony.
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Die Hard Trilogy
Fox Interactive's three-in-one blowout experience Die Hard Trilogy will hit
approximately 10,000 retail locations nationwide simultaneously on Sept. 18.
More than 125,000 units of the PlayStation version of Die Hard Trilogy are
being shipped initially, which will be compatible with nearly a half dozen
different video game peripherals. Inspired by Twentieth Century Fox's hit
"Die Hard" movies, Die Hard Trilogy is the first "next generation" video game
title to offer three original and different games on one disc. Die Hard
Trilogy is rated M (Ages 17+) and will carry a suggested retail price of
$54.98.
"We know the anticipation has been building in the wake of unprecedented
positive reviews. The PSX version is here," said Jon Richmond, president, Fox
Interactive. "When gamers load in Die Hard Trilogy, they're getting three
totally different games -- each one an amazing adventure on its own. Even
better is the fact that there are some incredible peripherals available to
make the Die Hard experience even more captivating." Peripherals currently
ready to "plug and play" for Die Hard Trilogy include Konami's "Enforcer,"
Namco's "Negkan," Mad Katz' "Steering Wheel," Nyko's "Cobra Gun" and the
PlayStation mouse. Additional Die Hard Trilogy-compatible peripherals are
currently under development by additional manufacturers. Richmond added that
the Sega Saturn and Windows 95 versions of Die Hard Trilogy will be available
for holiday shoppers, with an equally-impressive selection of peripherals.
Fox Interactive, an operating unit of Fox Filmed Entertainment, a News Corp.
company, is committed to developing bold and engaging interactive
entertainment. Drawing from the hottest properties that Fox Filmed
Entertainment, Fox Television and other News Corp. companies have to offer,
Fox Interactive creates truly interactive products that capture the
excitement of proven entertainment. Check out Fox Interactive at
www.foxinteractive.com.
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N64 vs. PlayStation
Now that we're almost on top of the release of yet another "next-gen" system,
you know which one, the question of which system is the best comes up.
Playstation or N64?
Let's get the bad news (for us PS owners, anyway) out of the way first. The
N64 is technically superior to the PS. It can do things instantaneously that
the PS would take precious seconds to accomplish, if it could accomplish the
effect at all. However, the improvement over the PS is not as huge as the PS
was over the Super Nintendo. Smoother edges here, less blocky textures
there. Just little things that add overall polish to the graphics.
The good news is that the N64 has (and for the next 5 months or so, at least,
will have) precious few games. This is where the PS pulls ahead in the race.
The PS has lots of games, in a good variety of styles. This relates to Sony's
policy on which games it allows to be released. Some developers (notably
Capcom) have complained that Sony has told them that it wants nothing but
3D games for its system, which is a bad decision on Sony's part. But for
Nintendo developers, it is much worse. Nintendo rules with an iron fist over
it's licensed developers.
Remember how Nintendo cut out the blood from Mortal Kombat for the SNES?
Their policies are not that much different today. To paraphrase Next-
Generation, Nintendo wants to be the Disney of the video game industry, and
it's games will reflect that desire. Don't expect to see any adult themes
or graphic violence in a Nintendo 64 game unless it's a big-name arcade
translation (Nintendo may be conservative, but they learned their lesson
with Mortal Kombat). Resident Evil type games are almost surely out of the
question. And I wouldn't be surprised if Doom 64 has a few of the more
blatant Satanic symbols removed, like the pentagrams and goat's heads. And,
since cartridges and probably 64DD disks are so expensive to produce (about
20$ each vs. about 1$ for CDs), most developers don't want to bother with
games that they aren't sure will sell well, because they won't make their
money back on the manufacturing and development costs. This means sequels
and remakes, which is already a problem with most systems, but will be
worse with the N64 since developers have more to lose on a game that flops.
What it comes down to is that the Playstation is not out of the game by a
longshot - expect it to last as long as the N64 does in the marketplace, and
to have a greater number of original and deep games than the Nintendo, if not
for performance reasons than for reasons more political and economic
in nature.
Great games will be available for the N64 as well, though. My advice for
people with system envy: buy both.
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Used Nintendo 64s Available in Japan as Sales Drop
JAPAN, AUGUST 26, 1996 -- According to reports published over the weekend in
Japanese newspapers, Nintendo 64s are selling very sluggishly, and used
systems are already available in stores. The used systems, which have been
bought back from disenchanted owners, are cutting into sales of new machines.
The much-ballyhooed new 64-bit system made its Japanese debut June 23 and
immediately sold out its initial supply, but sales have dragged in the last
few weeks. Analysts credit the slow sales to the lack of software. Analysts
are also expecting Nintendo's pretax profits for the year to fall by almost
1/3 to 80 billion yen. Nintendo stock fell dramatically on Friday to 6500
yen.
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SONY VS. SEGA SALES VS. N64: We have been reporting to you, how sales of the
PS have been trouncing the Saturn since their May price cuts to $199. The PS
had at a time been outselling the Saturn at a 6-1 clip. It is now only about
3-1, PS over Saturn. Sales of both have doubled over the period since May.
That all said, D-day, September 30th will bring the real showdown. Although
SONY and SEGA will look for a pre D-day strike by releasing some heavily
promoted games prior to the N64 release. This could prove to be only a
boost for them, but not an immediate hurt for Nintendo. Literally all
500,000 N64's that are scheduled for release prior to Christmas have
already been pre-ordered. With SEGA's release of the much bally-hooed
NIGHTS on August 20th and the equally highly promoted CRASH BANDICOOT (see
Preview section) for the SONY PS on September 9th, they will begin their
assaults.
It will be very interesting to see what will happen once the buying public
find no N64's for sale come October, November and December. Will they wait
a little longer or will they just say, "forget the N64 and give me a PS or
a Saturn".
I also wonder whether or not Sony and or Sega will decide to lower their
prices again. A $149 price point against the $249 of the N64 could spark
sales even higher.
Nintendo fully expects to easily sell out their 500,000 units within the
first weeks of release and another 500,000 from January thru March 30.
Beginning on the launch date Blockbuster Video will be offering the N64 for
rental. At $16.95 for 3 nights with, we believe, 2 games, Nintendo has
predicted they will not only sell 1 million N64's in the US by March 30,
but will also have rented 1 million units by then. There will also be a
contest with 35,000 prizes running at Blockbuster in conjunction with the
rental promotion. Blockbuster will certainly not be alone in renting the N64.
We will wait and see, Literally drooling at the thought of a real price war
in the industry.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Namco of Japan has announced 4 new games for the PlayStation:
1.A new Ridge Racer game
2.Ace Combat 2
3.Time Crisis
4.Gun Bullet
Also, Namco stated that a "Fighting Stick" will be released with Soul Edge.
Special designed gun controller will be released with Time Crisis and
Gun Bullet too.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
FMV Skipping Fix
Here's the info on turning the laser power up.........
You need to remove the five screws which hold the top cover of the PSX to
the bottom. Now turn the PlayStation the correct way round and remove the
cover (ensure that no CDs remain in the drive). Right locate the CD-ROM
assemble (the black triangular section which holds the laser), this has
a ribbon connector and a four cable connection (if memory serves me right).
At the top of the ribbon cable you should see a small screw pot... turn
this (just a little) clockwise and test. You can test with the cover off
by placing a CD in the drive turning the machine on and hold down the lid
switch with the screwdriver or something, but be careful, the powersupply
will be on.
The PSX should only require a small adjustment to the power pot, but you
may have to experiment. I hope this information helps, but I do not take
any responsibility for any problems you may have.
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Megaman 8 is dedicated to the 32-bits machines. It looks like the old 16-bits
versions, but the sprites are now much bigger and a lot more colorful.
Megaman can now upgrade himself by trading items between stages.
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Final Fantasy VII
Square realized that it was impossible to get so much data and realtime
graphics on Nintendo 64's 64Mbit cartidges. Therefore they decided to leave
Nintendo and instead, FFVII will be a PlayStation game. With the use of
PlayStation CDs, Square did not have to worry about data overflow, and the
same time keep production costs low. Square has revealed that FFVII will use
2 CDs, and you can't really squeeze over 1 gigabyte of information into a
cartidge.
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Street Fighter 3 info
In an interview in the September issue of British magazine "Computer and
Videogames" Capcom officials will reveal some very interesting things about
the company's future plans for Saturn and Playstation as well as the long
awaited Street Fighter 3. It seems as if Marvel Super Heroes has been
cancelled for Playstation which is further proof that Capcom regards
Sony's machine as primarily a platform for 3D games. On the other hand,
Resident Evil 2 and Star Gladiators will be Playstation exclusives.
The most juicy information in the interview however are those regarding
Street Fighter 3. Capcom has taken it's time, but it seems as if it just
might be worth the wait. While still 2D (thank god!) it'll be running on
an entirely new hardware engine. All the earlier SF2 and SFA games have
been based on the same engine which, while still powerful, is getting on
a bit now. At least four times the animation frames is promised. Rumors
that Nintendo has snapped up the exclusive rights for a home version now
seems to be wrong since Capcom states that there simply is no current
machine available that can handle a conversion.
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2 MILLION PLAYSTATION GAME CONSOLES SOLD! Since the launch of the PlayStation
game console in the United States, Sony Computer Entertainment America has
sold 2 million PlayStations. Global sales have reached around 7.2 million
PlayStation game consoles.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADD ON DISCS
Sony are due to release a new Data Disc which will enable extra levels to be
added onto an old game. Looking similar to a memory card, the disc will
contain only the data needed to create characters and environments, and not
the information to display graphics.
The idea is that the disc will be inserted into the memory card slot before
the machine is turned on. Once the game is loaded, it will recognize the
information on the data disc and will load in the additional levels to the
existing game.
This is great news for old Joe public, as there are a lot of games out there
just gathering dust on the shelves. This will avoid paying full price for
extra levels and new tracks on what is basically the same game engine, thus
avoiding the criticisms that was given to games such as Final Doom and PGA
Tour '97.
This idea has been available to PC users for some years now, but with Data
Discs selling at a price of around 1/ 3 of the retail price of a new game,
this will be a first for the console players market.
With Worms and Actua Golf being lined up to experience the add on discs, it
appears that in 1997, console gameplayers will at least feel they are no
longer being shortchanged by the Industry.
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CHEAPER PLAYSTATION ?
Last month, Sony announced the introduction of a new Playstation. To be
launched in Japan for a trial period, the SCH-5500 new model console, is a
simplified design of the PSX.
The SCH-5000 uses a reduction in the number of internal parts, which in turn
will increase productivity by a massive 1/ 3. This can only result in a
reduction in costs for the new cheaper models, which in turn can be passed
onto the customers.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
WHITE PLAYSTATION?
So far we have had the Grey Playstation, then we hear of the Black
Playstation, and now there is word of a White Playstation. The new machine
will feature the ability to play MPEG CDs and will incorporates an extra
security chip which will attempt to lock out pirate games. Watch this space
for the Pink with Red Spots Playstation.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
GAMES NEWS
At long last, Syndicate Wars is finally on its way. The eagerly awaited 3D
shoot-em-up should be released in Europe during January '97.
The long awaited arrival of Destruction Derby 2 has been put back to Feb '97,
and the reason? Overcrowding of the market during the Festive Period.
With the PSX lacking a Rally racing game, the announcement that the release
of TWO Rally games during 1997 will be warmly welcomed. Total Drivin' is
expected early '97 and RAC Rally Championship should be ready for the Autumn.
Our American readers have been raving about Twisted Metal 2 over the last few
weeks, set in surrounding such as Holland, Paris, and Moscow. This sequel
will be released in Europe during February '97.
Other Euro release dates include The Need for Speed 2 : Autumn '97, Ten Pin
Alley : March '97, Allied General : May '97, and the latest Euro-date for
Dark Forces is March '97.
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· ··· YO MAMA JOKES!! ··· ·
THIS IS THE FIRST PART OF OUR 'YO MAMA' JOKE-SERIE.
PART TWO COMING IN ART BOMB, ISSUE 2 (duh?!? -ed)
Yo mama's so fat...
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her
good side.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but thats her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the
other side to get her through.
Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't
change.
Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the
screen.
Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio
station.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion
machine.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:
"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the
milk carton.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in
bed.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the
doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the
wall.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled
something burning.
Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mam's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went
on.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks
"Where can I try that on?"
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.
Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her
to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.
Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is
clear."
Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other
side."
Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her
waist they spelled "BouleVarD."
Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got
the part as the big rolling ball.
Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says
"Okay."
Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said
"Sorry, we don't do curtains."
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she
gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off,
I was still on her.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word
for it!
Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.
Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she
couldn't identify them.
Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy.
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she
starts eating.
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate
it.
Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose
weight.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.
Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the
lightbulb.
Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound
test!
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back
party.
Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still
on top of the bitch.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group
insurance!
Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.
Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.
Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an
oil spill.
Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet
spot.
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the
fuck off."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out
of the car."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."
Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."
Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.
Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a
new world.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter
scale.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You,
Come Again."
Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming
pool.
Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and
oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English
Muffin.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.
Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone
layer.
Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA,
he'd seen her too.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it
up!"
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.
Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H
d.
Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of
gravy.
Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.
Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache is real.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips
saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of
your show.
Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people
walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"
Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn"
sign.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales started singing "We
are family!"
Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride
the wave in.
Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come
down, except Yo mama."
Yo mama's so fat, they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.
Yo mama's so fat, she bungee jumped and went straight to hell.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses blanket as a washcloth.
Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing
up.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy,
Free Willy."
Yo mama's so fat, when she backs up she beeps.
Yo mama's so fat, she plays pool with the planets.
Yo mama's so fat, she's taller lying down.
Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is
the dressing rooms.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep
trying to get up again.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to install speed bumps at the all-u-can-eat
buffet.
Yo mama's so fat, she pulls up a chair to an all-u-can-eat buffet.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Yo mama's so fat, you can pinch an inch on her forehead.
Yo mama's so fat, you could go swimming in her bra.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.
Yo mama's so fat, she has a greater gravitational attraction than a black
hole.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.
Yo mama's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry.
Yo mama's so fat, even Richard Simmons laughs at her.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people call her "Taxi!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think its the school
bus.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater people call her "Barney."
Yo mama is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her
feet like a blanket.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass
back in the water.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across
Lake Michigan.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires
pop.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't know wether she's walking or rolling.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to fuck her I didn't know if I was hitting the
hole or a roll.
Yo mama's so fat, when my dog went to fuck her he had to peel too many fat
rolls and said "Fuck It."
Yo mama's so fat, when she fart the whole planet came out.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, we're inside her right now.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo mama's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got
lost in her.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it
was American Airlines biggest jet.
Yo mama's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.
Yo mama's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.
Yo mama's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of
shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have
to install speed bumps.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds
without getting called for a key violation.
Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.
Yo mama's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.
Yo mama's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.
Yo mama's so fat, and her back is so crooked, when she lays down...people say
"I didn't know we had mountains."
Yo mama's so fat, when she travels, she's gotta make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, they call her "Big Fat Ho."
Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
·
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/ | \/ | \/_______ \| / |___/m'S
_/ /__¯__\ \_ | \_ | \_ _/ | \_
mR!/ T \ | \ | \ / ¯ \
:___ / | \ | \ | \ \ ___:
| (___ \ | / ¯ / ¯ / / ___) |
| \\\________|______/__________/__________/_\_______________/// |
| _ _ |
| \/ : ALL-TIME TOP 10 CD'S TO LISTEN TO WHILE MAKING ASCII! : \/ |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| NoW | LAST | ARTiST/GROUP TiTLE | POiNTS |
+-----+------+---------------------------------------------------+--------+
| #o1 | NEW! | VARIOUS RAVERMEISTER VOLUME 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 | 1o |
| #o2 | NEW! | VARIOUS FUTURE FUNK | 9 |
| #o3 | NEW! | VARIOUS JUNGLE MASSIVE COLLECTIVE 1 | 8 |
| #o4 | NEW! | PHOTEK THE HIDDEN CAMERA | 7 |
| #o5 | NEW! | A GUY CALLED GERALD BLACK SECRET TECHNOLOGY | 6 |
| #o6 | NEW! | THE PRODIGY EXPERIENCE | 5 |
| #o7 | NEW! | VARIOUS SPECIAL BREW | 4 |
| #o8 | NEW! | ORBITAL IN SIDES | 3 |
| #o9 | NEW! | VARIOUS STRICTLY UNDERGRND / REMIXED COMPILATION | 2 |
| #1o | NEW! | VARIOUS NORDIC RAVE VOLUME 1 | 1 |
| | : | |
| : : |
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_|______ __ _______|_ |_____ _______ : ________\_ / cDr/m's
| \\__ _/ _| //_ /___ _|_ ___\_ / / / ____
| tHE END _/ |____\ /____/ /_ T _\ /____/ /________ \_ :
|_________ \______| \________________\ | /_______________/ / //|
| /________//_|
(ART BOMB iSSUE #oo1)
(THE END - FINAL WORDS)
it's gray, windy and +2 degrees outside. marvelous weather for finnishing
this issue of art bomb. i don't know about you reading this magazine, but
as far as i'm concerned, this isn't the *WORST* first issue of something
i've seen. sure, to some degree this sucks donkey dicks, but it's a first
issue - it can't all be perfect. the voting was the worst I guess (damn!)
but it'll get better in issue two..
so what's going to be in issue two of art bomb? who knows!? i'll have to
see if anyone even liked this first issue before I decide on making issue
two you know...so FEEDBACK is very welcome! ( e-mail: MARK@IDGONLINE.NO )
a bit more than "this sucked/this was cool" would be nice. like, what you
liked/hated about issue number one would be fun to read about..
that's about it. many thanks to all who supported in some way!!!!
the NEW votesheet - send us your votes!
( you do NOT have to vote in ALL catagories )
CUT ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## CUT
· ··· M A I N C A T A G O R I E S ··· ·
BEST ASCII ARTIST (1optS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o9ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o8ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o7ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o6ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o5ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o4ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o3ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o2ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII ARTIST (o1ptS) HANDLE+GROUP-NAME:
BEST BOARD (1optS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o9ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o8ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o7ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o6ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o5ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o4ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o3ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o2ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST BOARD (o1ptS) BOARD-NAME ONLY:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (1optS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o9ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o8ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o7ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o6ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o5ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o4ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o3ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o2ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII COLLECTION (o1ptS) FILENAME+ARTIST(S)-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (1optS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o9ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o8ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o7ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o6ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o5ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o4ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o3ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o2ptS) GROUP-NAME:
BEST ASCII GROUP (o1ptS) GROUP-NAME:
· ··· B U L L S H * T C A T A G O R I E S ··· ·
( if I get enough votes, some of these catagories will be in issue #2 )
COOLEST CD (5ptS) ARTIST/GROUP-NAME+TITLE:
COOLEST CD (4ptS) ARTIST/GROUP-NAME+TITLE:
COOLEST CD (3ptS) ARTIST/GROUP-NAME+TITLE:
COOLEST CD (2ptS) ARTIST/GROUP-NAME+TITLE:
COOLEST CD (1ptS) ARTIST/GROUP-NAME+TITLE:
PHATeST PLAYSTATION GAME (5ptS) TiTLE:
PHATeST PLAYSTATION GAME (4ptS) TiTLE:
PHATeST PLAYSTATION GAME (3ptS) TiTLE:
PHATeST PLAYSTATION GAME (2ptS) TiTLE:
PHATeST PLAYSTATION GAME (1ptS) TiTLE:
MoST WICKED WWW SITE (5ptS) HTTP://
MoST WICKED WWW SITE (4ptS) HTTP://
MoST WICKED WWW SITE (3ptS) HTTP://
MoST WICKED WWW SITE (2ptS) HTTP://
MoST WICKED WWW SITE (1ptS) HTTP://
FILLED OUT BY (YOUR HANDLE&GROUP-NAME) :
CUT ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## ## CUT ## CUT
if you've got news, articles or anything else you want to say then place it
below your handle & group-name. thank you kindly for all support!
that's about it I guess, see you all in issue #2..don't forget:
if you like to support us with articles, news, votes or whatever,
you can find us loonies at these places
b / mo'soul ... b@opkuula.pp.fi
crusader / mo'soul ... janne.kotta@janus.swipnet.se
desoto / mo'soul ... desoto@2die4.com
fatal / epsilon design ... fatal@swipnet.se
manta / mo'soul ... manta@mailbox.calypso.net
u-man / arclite ... u-man@kq.qd.se
vinzi / mo'soul ... vinzi@varberg.se
mark ryder / mo'soul ... mark@idgonline.no
ANOTHER STEP - SYSOP: FATAL/EPSILON DESIGN - DIAL: +46-21-330-975
join the "art bomb" conference and upload your support for us
( please, name your file something unique )
snail-mail: AASHEIM, NORDBYVEIEN 209, 2013 SKJETTEN, NORWAY
(don't write anything else or it won't come through!)
MO'SOUL WWW-PAGE: WWW.VERY_VERY_SOON.I_HOPE
we're on IRC (channel #ascii) - try us live ;-)
and don't forget, you've been vitness to a...
.___________.
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\/ __ ___)\/ | | | | | \/(___ __ \/
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\/_/ \___ · | | | | | ¦ ___/ \_\/
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_ __ _\_ ___/_____ _\____ \ _\_ / _\_ ___/_____ __ _
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_ __ ____\ _________\ _____/_________________________ __ _
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______ | _|_ | ((________ ___ __ _
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_ __ ___ _______)) | + |
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| \ H2o! / |
|___________|
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( MO'SOUL ASCII PRODUCTION 1997 )
original size: 3444 (lines) original size: 157.ooo (bytes)
¢ the end!