Preview
.-------------------------------------------------------------------------.
|() DIZ IZ HOW IT SHOULD BE DONE ! STYLE , TYPICAL IDENTICAL WITH NONE! ()|
`-------------------------------------------------------------------------'
.___ _ .-----------. ___.
| / _ _ /_ _ _ _ .----------------. __ | WhirLwiNd | /\ \ |
| / _/ // \ _\ \ _ (_) | MorTiMeR tWaNG | \/ `-----------' / /\ \ |
|/ _\ \ \\ /_ `-----_.--._-----' · ________ / /\ \|
· / /\ /\ \ _(\_\ /_/)_ _ O /\_ __ _/\ \/ / \ ·
| / //\\ //\\_ \_ _\ \ \ / / /_ (_) /\__ __ __/\ \/ / /\ |
| \_ / \\ // \ / \ _(\ _\/_ /)_ / /\___ __ ___/\ \ / \|
| /_ _// . \ / . \\_ _\ _\\ .\\ // //_ /\____ __ ____/\ \/\ \/|
| \ \ | / \ | / / _ \ ( |\\\///| ) / \___/\_ _/\___/ \ \ \|
| \_\__// \\__/_/ (_) )_(_||\ /||_)_( _ \\_O YY O_// \ \ |
| / /_ · · \ _o_ \ `-/ \-' / (_) \\_(..)_// \ |
.-------.\\ _ / ) _ ( ( ·· ) _ (( ____ )) \ |
| rAmoN | \_ ( _/ (__\/_) \_ O / / \ )/(___.)\( /\ /\ \|
`-------' \___/ () . . () )___/ / . \ \____\\/ _ __ / _\ ·
._____._____. -. :¯ ( _ ) ¯: __ /_ | _\ __ _ \\ _ / / _/ \
| | | .|. | . \_ _/. | _/ / / | \ \ \_ /__ ¯_ \ / _ \_\
| . | | 0 __/ Y Y | _\ _)_ / / | \ \ _(_ _/ \_ \/ _/ \
| | | o |\\ | · |_ | \_ __ __ __ __ _/ ____ ____ \_\
|_____|_____| o |,\\___· · \__\. _/ \___Y___/ \_ / /Y ¬Y ¬Y\ \
| . |H o' ./`---------'.`O \__) \_o o_/ (__/ / | | | \ \
| | |O )- ___ OoO· \__/ - \__/ _) | | | (_
| | |S \ \ / / _ \__o__/ \ |___O|___O| /
|___________| /¼ _ _/ \µ ¼\ (_) .-------------.\/\ Y /\/
| _______|P / ) ( \ | wiShbRingeR | \\__|__//
|_____. |O / / \½ \ `-------------' \__Y__/
| | |S /_ _/ /_ _).----------. .------.
| | |S |_______| |________| aXebLade | | niKe |
|___________|E /_________\ \_________\---------' `------'
W O T M A K E S T H E M O T H A F U C K E R S S O D A M N F R E S H ?
· __
____. _____ ____ /_ ____ _____ / | ____ ____
/ _|__ / \/ /_ __/_ \__/_ \/ | __/_ \__/_ \
/ / \/ \__ \ / / / / _/ |/ /___/ / /
_/ /_ \_ \/ \_ _/ /___/ /_ \_ _/ / \_ /___/¯\_
\______\_____/_______/_______/ \_______\______\____/ \__________/________/
. / _ _ _ _/ |
| · ___ \\\\________|__ _
| _ /____ / |___ / _________ ¦
| _ / / / / /_ \_ _ / ·iN 96· :
|___/ / /--/ \__ \/ \/
_ / _/ / \_ |/ \_ \_ _ _ _
|//___________\__________/___ /_______/______//// _ ____©nUP!/m'S____ _
/
·
RAMONBURGER 16$ - NIKEWITHCHEESE 6$ - FRIEDWHIRLIES 12 $
HOS PRICE LIST IN 96 !
Chapter 1
House of Style in 96 !
New prices in the Ascii scene !
new elite guys are joining the scene , new elite boards are opening ,
new elite ascii groups are formed from new elite ascii artists
And everybody iz azkin : How can i get an ascii from a major ascii
group for my board , my file.id , my new collection .
Here is THE ANSWER for all u new guys in da scene . ( huahua )
Chapter 1.1
The prices for an ascii are relative to the position , skill , group ,
behaviour and knowledge of an artist.
an ascii artist is judged on a scale from one to ten.
one means : better fuck ya motha , ten means : legendary
so the price depends on the ratings an ascii artist has . you can find
these ratings in the A.R.L. ( ascii ratings list ) that was released in
middle of 1995 by the major ascii wizards of europe.
We take nike / hos for example .
His Position : Leader of Hos - means 2 points
( a new member or a more passive member gets under 1.0 points ! )
His Skills : Doing all kinds of style - means 1,6 points
( ascii drawed heads for ex. get a bonus of 0.5 up to 0.8 points )
His Group : House of Style - means 2.8 points
( Groups with famous guys get an additional score of 0.8 )
His Behaviour : coolin , chillin , a quite superstar - means 2.2 points
( an arrogant artist for ex. would get a minus score from 0.4 - 0.8 )
His Knowledge : ex-member of artcore , newest cygnus ed versions - 2 points
( other-ed users get a minus from 0.2 - 1.0 ( depends on used editor )
Total Score : 10.6 Points means u need much money to get an ascii frum him
Chapter 2
new prices , extra prices
Some peeps might dont know that ascii art is a full-time job , and the
artist has to do a hard job day by day. so he needs to get paid coz
himself has to pay bills too ! The artist gets a monthly salary by the
A.A.T.U. ( Ascii Art Trade Union ) from min. 250 $ up to 900 $ .
Good Artists also get an extra for commercial breaks in their artworks
from 30 $ up to 320 $. But the main salary depends on YOU ! You order
an ascii from the artist and have to pay a certain ammount in recognition
to his work. Many examples prove that an artist has to have a good
reputation and much more , to achieve a normal social lifestandart. One
of the most sad artist-fallin-down syndrome happend with axeblade. He
made it to the top , felt down totally but luckely hes back on track !
But now let axeblade speak , coz he knows wot its all about !
- Well you are right. Its a hard business day by day , and u have to
prove yaself every day , in every new colli , in every new style , ya
knowmsain. As all of u might know , i was a famous member of the famous
artcore clan. These days where great. I had a big house with pool n stuff
like dat , i mean swimming pool , and pool like billiard ya know and also
a whirlpool from whirlwind & co inc. . They made me a fuckin cool whirpool
with a bar , under and overwater Tv , an electrically controlled marmor
table , very good to use combined with cocaine , just press a button and
the table comes out , brmrmrmrm , and boooom , you smash da coke on the
table and baaaaam , sniff it like fuckin hell. And i had this fuckin phat
15000 Watt Power Amp Sound System with a jamaican lady Dj. She woz soooooo
hot. uuuuh. Sometimes i was fed up of the guys and girls standing in front
of my house , screamin , crying and stuff , but after a while u get used
to it...like u get used to all da partys everyday in everytown and u
always get invited, and u start drinking and drinking and tons of weed
and cocaine and lsd. It was GREAT. yes. Ya know , you come to a party. All
da people are high and stoned and drunk , and you come in and the first
thing you hear is...- hey baby...u wanna fuck with me ?? - but i usually
say no , coz the second thing you hear is - Hi , come in , sit down ,
smoke sum stuff , sniff sum snow and enjoy the evening...well and after
that i can fuck...i mean i can really fuck...like one of these manga
monsters...just killing and fuckin...thats great.......
but then.....it happend...the D.S.S ( Dope Style Syndicate - this
foundation managed the whole ascii scene by money , rulez , social
treatments and many more ) crashed on the wall street.....and just 2 days
later it also losts all credits in japan and suisse...a total chaos
followed...Many friends of mine went kind of hysteric...we all needed the
money of course...so we all had to form new groups and a new Social Net
to achieve the high level in the past.....and in this time i started to
sell all the things i got...i needed the luxuries of the past , means i
needed to get drunk and stoned and high and all the parties with these
fuckin kewl bitches n shit....And that broke my neck...artcore was dead
and also the requests...i had no income at all...at this time i started
traveling around as a free artist...i made sum dollars here , some dollars
there , but thats no big deal...well...yes...i sleeped on the beach...
in trainstations, in forests and so on...sumtimes i had no food for 3 days
but i always had money for stuff n weed n so on...and that saved my life !
One night in Spain ( i just sold sum asciis for sum pesos to sum scene guys
in a little town ) i was sittin at the beach with a lovely spanish mama mia
lady , and we took sum trips. And i had this vision about flying over the
water , and the girl cried - stoop , what are u doing whats going on ? -
but i didnt heard anything, just the beautifull silence of the nature , the
wind was so loud but so quite and soft , the water was so powerfull and
intense but so smooth and fresh. The sky was red and green colored and it
started to rain. but no waterdrops , it was lsd pills. Tons of pills.
I took one , and suddenly an airplane appeared to my left. A nice lookin
stewardess said - good evening , sir. Isnt it better to come back on board
of the plane ? - well , yes i said and climbed on board...the plane was
full of toasty sexy chicken , cool dudes , tons of the best food , drinks
and so on...i started with an ananas-chicken sandwich with mushroom dip and
ended in a separated room together with 2 bitches , champagne and coke...
and as usuall i fucked the hell out of em...but i guess i fucked too hard
and the ground fall apart and yes...i felt down...and down...a bird asked
me for the time...but i had no watch...and down...and down...another
bird asked me for the time...and i said shut up...and down...and then i
was back in holland...so then hos was born and the cool life came back !
Ehm...yes..thank u axeblade...very interesting...
Chapter 2.1
In the past sum groups made the mistake and demanded the same money for
3 letter asciis and for 10 letter asciis. The new hos price list is more
flexible than the old ones !
General Prices for everybody
Newest style of a hos artist : 0.10 $ per letter
_______________ _______
_______/\____\__ ____ /_____) __ /___
\ ____ \/ \ / /_\ _____/ /\
/\ _ \ / /\____\/ /\ _ \ / / \
/____\\ \/ / \ /______// \_\\ \/ / /
\ \______// /\__\ \\ /\ \______// /
\_____\ \\ /rN! \______\/ \_\ \\ /
\_____\/ ______ \_____\/____
_______\_____\ \ __\______ _ __
____) ___ / ______ _ __________\ \__ ____ _/__/_____________
\ _____/__\ \ ______/_\ \ / \/ ____ /\
\ _ \ / /\_____\ _ \ _ _ /\____\/ /\ \_ /____// \
/__\\ \/ / \ /___\\ \/ // \ /____/ /_____/\\ \\ /
\ \______// /\_\ \_______// /\__\ \ \ \ X\____\/
\___\ \\ / \____\ \\ / \____\/\_____\/
\_____\/ \______\/
________ _____ _______
_______ _____) __ /__ /____/_) __ /__
_ _) _____/_\__ ______/__/_______ / \ / ______/__/_____________
___________ \/ _ \ / \/ ___/X \/ _ \ / \/ ____ /\
\ _ \ / /\_\\ \/ /\ _ \ X \ /\_\\ \/ /\ \ / /__\_
/____\\ \/ / \ \ ·/ \_\\ \/ \ / \ \______// \____\/ / /\
\ \______// /\_\\_ // /\ \______// /\_\ \\ /\ /_________// \
\_____\ \\ / \__// / \_\ \\ / \_____\/ \__\ \\ /
\_____\/ \ \\ / \_____\/ \_________\/
\_\/
...so this example would cost you 1.30 $ ( 13 letters )
Additional background : 0.10 $ each block !
.--------------------------------------------------------------------------.
||¯ _______________ _______ |
| _______/\____\__ ____ /_____) __ /___ |
| \ ____ \/ \ / /_\ _____/ /\ |
| /\ _ \ / /\____\/ /\ _ \ / / \ |
|/____\\ \/ / \ /______// \_\\ \/ / / |
|\ \______// /\__\ \\ /\ \______// / |
| \_____\ \\ /rN! \______\/ \_\ \\ / |
| \_____\/ ______ \_____\/____ |
| · ONE · _______\_____\ \ __\______ _ __ |
|· EiGHT · ____) ___ / ______ _ __________\ \__ ____ _/__/_____________ |
| · SEVEN · \ _____/__\ \ ______/_\ \ / \/ ____ /\|
`------------\ _ \ / /\_____\ _ \ _ _ /\____\/ /\ \_ /____// \
/__\\ \/ / \ /___\\ \/ // \ /____/ /_____/\\ \\ /
\ \______// /\_\ \_______// /\__\ \ \ \ X\____\/
.-------------\___\ \\ /----\____\ \\ /-----\____\/\_____\/-----.
| \_____\/ \______\/ ¯ ¯||
| |
| |
| |
| ________ _____ _______ |
| _______ _____) __ /__ /____/_) __ /__ |
: _ _) _____/_\__ ______/__/_______ / \ / ______/__/_____________ |
___________ \/ _ \ / \/ ___/X \/ _ \ / \/ ____ /\ |
\ _ \ / /\_\\ \/ /\ _ \ X \ /\_\\ \/ /\ \ / /__\_ |
/____\\ \/ / \ \ ·/ \_\\ \/ \ / \ \______// \____\/ / /\:
\ \______// /\_\\_ // /\ \______// /\_\ \\ /\ /_________// \
:\_____\ \\ / \__// / \_\ \\ / \_____\/ \__\ \\ /
`-------\_____\/------\ \\ /------\_____\/-------------------\_________\/'
\_\/
...two blocks means 0.20 $
Additional text to make ascii complete : 0.05 $ each line !
.--------------------------------------------------------------------------.
||¯ _______________ _______ · THE MEN BEHIND THE TRIGGER · |
| _______/\____\__ ____ /_____) __ /___ WHiRLWiND, SOULTAKER, JACK |
| \ ____ \/ \ / /_\ _____/ /\· TiB, SvEN, SLiME & RADAVi |
| /\ _ \ / /\____\/ /\ _ \ / / \ · ROYAL AMiGA! WHQ · |
|/____\\ \/ / \ /______// \_\\ \/ / / · CORRUPT DHQ · |
|\ \______// /\__\ \\ /\ \______// / · EFFECT PC EHQ · |
| \_____\ \\ /rN! \______\/ \_\ \\ / · HOS^DS! ASCii DHQ · |
| \_____\/ ______ \_____\/____ |
| · ONE · _______\_____\ \ __\______ _ __ |
|· EiGHT · ____) ___ / ______ _ __________\ \__ ____ _/__/_____________ |
| · SEVEN · \ _____/__\ \ ______/_\ \ / \/ ____ /\|
`------------\ _ \ / /\_____\ _ \ _ _ /\____\/ /\ \_ /____// \
/__\\ \/ / \ /___\\ \/ // \ /____/ /_____/\\ \\ /
\ \______// /\_\ \_______// /\__\ \ \ \ X\____\/
.-------------\___\ \\ /----\____\ \\ /-----\____\/\_____\/-----.
||¯ ¯ ¯ \_____\/ \______\/ ¯ ¯||
| · AMiGA! · MAC · PC · PC DEMO · SNES · SEGA · PSX · ANSi^ASCii · BBS · |
| · RUNNiNG A3OOO/O3O^882@ 1O MB RAM · 1.O GiG HD · ALL NODES 28K8 V34 · |
| · N1:+31-blubberbl · N2:+blabberbrubl · N3:+31-ELiTE! · N4:+31-NETWORK |
| ________ _____ _______ |
| _______ _____) __ /__ /____/_) __ /__ |
: _ _) _____/_\__ ______/__/_______ / \ / ______/__/_____________ |
___________ \/ _ \ / \/ ___/X \/ _ \ / \/ ____ /\ |
\ _ \ / /\_\\ \/ /\ _ \ X \ /\_\\ \/ /\ \ / /__\_ |
/____\\ \/ / \ \ ·/ \_\\ \/ \ / \ \______// \____\/ / /\:
\ \______// /\_\\_ // /\ \______// /\_\ \\ /\ /_________// \
:\_____\ \\ / \__// / \_\ \\ / \_____\/ \__\ \\ /
`-------\_____\/------\ \\ /------\_____\/-------------------\_________\/'
\_\/
...ten text lines means 0.5 $
So the complete price for this bbs add would be the following :
1.3 $
0.2 $
0.5 $
-----
2.0 $
...plus the rate of the artist , ( as shown in chapter 1.1 ) so if this
nice piece would have been drawn by nike than he would get an xtra money
from : 0.10 $ multiplied with 10.6 Rating Points , means 1.06 $ !!!
So 3.06 $ ALL inclusive
Easy to understand , isnt it ?
Chapter 2.2
Xtra Prices for different UserGroups
Group ( I )
The largest requester-group is the group of sysops and co-sysops.
They always are in need of new and fresh asciis , ansis and anims ,
to be on top of the competitive bbs market. Old rotten asciis means
no new users no new paying accounts etc...
The one eight seven example above shows a bbs add . The sysop gets
different bonus possibilities to lower the price.
Using the ascii in the login screen : 0.5 $ lowering the price to 2.56 $
Using the ascii in the logoff screen : 0.3 $ lowering the price to 2.76 $
Using the ascii in a dms banner or lha : 0.7 $ lowering the price to 2.36 $
So if you take all these three together u have a price of 1.56 $ !!!
Another possibilty the sysops have is to give free-download or call back
function to pay the bill instead of the artist.
Free download lowers the price of the FIRST five asciis done for the
sysop by 0.4 to 1.0 $ depending on the quality of his board !!
The same happens with call-back function...!
So it can happen that a sysop has not to pay at all ,if he garantees all
of the above !!
Group ( II )
Another requester-group is the group of crackin groups. They need asciis
for file.ids , info-files , banners and to prove their first chick that
they can also be creativ and NOT only sittin infront of this monitor and
typing sum useless and strange numbers and letters just to break the
protection of a game.
Chick : Yo , are u again writing this strange shit on your computer ?
Little elite-dudee : No , i painted some pictures that came out of my
intellectual mind .
Chick : How ramontic , i mean romantic and artisticly u are. Let me see
it.
Little elite-dudee : Here look at thiz sweetheart.
____
/___/ __ ___________ ____________
____ / / / / / / _/_ _/ / / / / /
/ / / /_/ / / / / ___/_ _\__ / / / / /
/ / _/ / / / / / / / // // / / / / - i love u sugar cream
/___/ \___/___/\___\_____//____/___/___/
Chick : Oh , how nice .
Little elite-dudee : You give me so much inspiration and motivation. You
are the circle of my live !
( a 14 year old coder , cracker , would never be able to say such things
but in this case he read the Hos Manual "How to get the chicks in my bed"
released on april 95 by Dr.Sommer Sommer Ramon Fuschnik xtra Dr. with
1000 usefull conversations to get the dick into da chick)
Little elite-dudee is showing the next picture. The first important step
by saying the right smooth words (according to the book "How to get the
chicks in my bed") is done.
_____
((^,^))wB!
)) o ((
/\ _____ _\_/__ ____ /\
\_)___/\o__(_o)/\___(_/
\ \( )/__/ /
__/\ \ . / \_)/
(_(_/\___*___/
Chick : Yeah baby , letz fuck.
They go backside , smoother the light and start to fuuuuuuuck..
ah , ah , aaaaaah shit...
Chick : U fucked me for 6 seconds ! dats it ???
Little elite-dudee : baeeeh , buaaaah , oeeeh , aah
oh oh , we maybe should also write a book about "How to fuck the hell out
of a chick" ( will be our next project )
But u can see . Crackergroups are really in need of good asciis !
Now lets come to the prices !
As usuall we are supported by many groups , so we get the newest games on
cd for all computers. So if your new formed group need asciis you have
to send three playstation and 3 amiga gamepack cd^s first and then 2 cd^s
monthly ! There are also other possibilities to pay . Therefor you have to
read chapter 5 !
Group ( III )
The last very important group is the group of ascii artist themself !
The major groups have different alliances , contracts and agreements
alltogether. The system is based on exchanging styles for the group and
their members , giving ascii respects in the final part and giving
asciis as a gift to an artist.
Here are sum examples how it can work.
You are a new group by the fictious name of " Supa Dupa Ascii Art "
and u wanna get asciis from a major ascii group with the fictious name
of " Old Skool Motherfuckin Motherfuckers "
First of all u need a " Best Ascii Groups " part in your collection !
If its your first collection : It looks good if you make one or maybe
two asciis in a special " Gift to the best " part. BUT MAKE THEM GOOD !!
If you are IN for a while u give out respects to the best groups in the
end part ! But pay attention !! Dont try to greet good and weak groups
in the same part !!! For eXample :
Finally i come to the respects !
To da best crews out in da magic ascii scene
Famous Fab Force Five , Old Skool Motherfuckin Motherfuckers
Soul Sonic Force , mega ascii kids , Azkee Bomb Squad , House of Style
... you see the mistake ?? well , mega ascii kids is no big crew at all ,
so this name belongs to the " my lame friends " greetings part !
Also important is , how you personally deal with an ascii artist !
One similarity to group-behaviour is , that u cant name a good and a weak
artist in the same line. Like in the group respect list !
Here are sum hints how u may get respect from a star !
1 : Always point out in your collection , this or that artist is my ...
A : Idol
B : King
C : God
2 : Write things like , this or that artist ...
A : ...inspirates my whole life
B : ...makes me feel allright
C : ...I WANT TO SUCK YOUR DICK
3 : Find out the artist favours ! Write sum sentences in your colli like :
" right now im sittin here and ...
A: Smoke Joints
B: Drink Beer
C: Smoke Joints , Drink Beer , Fuck a chick and take a lick.
( usually all major ascii dudes are impressed by these things coz they
practise it every day !! )
4 : If you suddenly meet an artist at a party than give him a ...
A: Joint ( or offer sum waterpipes blows )
B: Bottle of vodka
C: pack of mushrooms
(ps) ... if you do all this shit with him together and go around in the
town , make sum trouble with him , gather sum chicks and pardy all nite
long , than the relationship to him betters rapidly !
As long as u stay cool in the scene and do not begin your colli with
" this is my first collection and ... " you may get a little chance...
U may never heard the word ripper before , and dats good for you . The
description of a ripper can be found in Chapter 6 !
Chapter 2.3
Prices for Ansis !
The Main Prices are the same as the ascii prices plus additional charges
2 Color Ansis costs a plus from 0.2 $
4 Color Ansis costs a plus from 0.4 $
8 Color Ansis costs a plus from 0.7 $
3d lookalike coloring costs a plus from 0.3 $
Psychadelic colored ansis cost an additional of 10 $ !!! dats the price
a pack of mexican or hawaian mushrooms costs in holland ! it can be
bought in the headshop , mushroomlan 12 in 6534 Kerkrade .
But u get an extra-special ansi , and we get much much fun !
At usual , all the house of style asciis are blunted , stoned , coked
mushroomed , skunked , smoked and so on ! Normally you dont have to pay
an extra for that !!
Chapter 2.4
Prices for Anims !
Well, you will never get an anim from us ! , but due to a contract with
decent , its possible to arrange your anim by ordering an ansi , ascii
from the hos group with the new price list , plus 1 $ arrangement costs
plus 2 $ and a pill for segoy / decent !
Chapter 3
Bonus Packages and Sell outs
U may cannot afford a new style so we give YOU the CHOICE to select
an old style or mix them together with the newest style...
Nikes 94 style costs 0.40 $ !!! not depending on the rating neither on
the amount of letters and backgrounds...
·--------------------------------------------------------------·
| |
| |
| |
| |
| __________ |
¦ \ / ¦
____________\ / /______ _______________ _____ ________________________
/ _ | _ | | | ______ _________/
/ | | / | | |_______ | ____/_
____________\______| |_____ |_____ |____ / |____ |
`------' `-----' `-----' `------' `------'
_________
_______________________________ __________| ______/__ __________________
| _ | _______/
h o u s e o f s t y l e | / | \ i n 1 9 9 4 !
_______________________________ |_____ | ___\ ____________________
`-----¦-----'
___________ _____ ______ ________
__________ /___\__ |____\ ____________ ________________________
_____ | ______/ | | | _______/
| \ | | | | __/_
____ |_____ |_____ |__ |____ |______________________nK__
`-------' `----' `------' `---' `-----'
This example of axeblades work is worth the normal price due to the
freshness and bluntedness of his art.
___________
___________ ____________ __________\.____ /...............
\.____ /________\.____ /____\.____ /| _/ /__ :
| / / _ | /____/__ / _/ /_|. \___/ |--------------.
| /___/ \\ | __/ /____/ \___/ | | _ : |
| \ | | __/| |_________| _\/_ : |
|__________\ _||______| | |__________| \/\/ : |
| \______| |______| ._____. :.......... _____________|
..|..................... | |____. \._____ /|
: |_ : ________| | _|_________|_ / /_|
: \/ - cOFFEe sHOP! - : _/ _____/_ ._| \. _ / _/ / \/
: | _ : ._\______ \ \__ | / / \____/ |
: `------------\/--------| \/ / | | /|_____|-----'
: : ||_ / |____||_ /`ab
:......................: |__________/|_____| |______/
But You can buy his amazing sell out style for the amazingly low price
of 0.66 $ !!!
_
___________|_\ ______________________ _____________________ _________
_/ ___ \___ / \/ _________ // /___/ ___ \____ /____ \_/ _____o
: / \_ / \_ ___>_____/ _/ / \__ / \\__/ _/ / \\_____ \__
: / / /| // \/ /\ \ /| / / /\ \ / / / /
: // /_ // \ \_ // / \ \\_ \_ //
~\_____/~\______/~~\_____/____\ /______/\______/____\ /_____/~\_____/~
\ /ab \ /
\/ \/
Nikes Killer Style refers to the pricelist plus a bonus of 0.4 $ for
developing a legendary style !
____________
_______ __________ \ ______/_ ________ _
\ \____\ __/_______ _\_______ \ ///
_\ \ \ _\________/_ ____________/ _____/______ ___________
\\\_______________\ /_ /____\___ \ __\_____ /
_________ ______\________/// /_________\\____ _/ _/_
\ /__\______ / _________ ________\_ _ /_\ \
_\_ __/_\___ _/ _/__\_______/_ _\_ ____/_ /_____/_ _\______\
/ \___ \__\ \ _/_____/_____ \ \________///
/_______________\ \______\______/ _ /________\
/______/_____/nK
And this style gets a bonus of 0.6 $ for minimalisticism
/\ /\
/ \ _____ / \
// \ _________ ___________/ /___ / \\
_ _\____/_ /_____\ / / \_\____/_ _
\\--/ \______| \ O __/_ _________\ \----------------//
| /__________\ /_________\____\ \ /__________\ |
| \___\ |
| /\ -[[ iNQUISITION! BBS ]]- |
| /\ / \\ |
| / \_______________ / \ ____________ |
| // \_________ _\____/_ _ \ _______ |
| __________ _\____/_/ |/____/ \__________/ /______ |
| _\ _____/_ \_____| /___________\nK /_______| \|
| | \_____ \________\ /_________\
`-|_____________\-------------------------------------------------------'
Ramons Hypoactivemushroomeddopestyle is unpayable !
______ ______
/ _ __/_ __ / ____/_
/ \_\_ \ ____ \ ________ \
/ / /\____ __ / __ \ ______ __ ____/_ __ / \
.-/ /___/__\ \----\/---/ \/ \/ ___/----\/----/ _ /_ \ \/ /____\--.
|/_____/ / _/\_ \ /________\ _/ _____ _ / / \ \ /rN!! |
| _ __ / \/ /\____ _ /__/ _ \ __/\ /_ _\ \/ __ _ |
||_ |__ /_________/__\ /_ |_| |_| \ \/ \_/ \___\ __| _||
| ____/ _ / \ · O·F · _\______ `-----' |
| · H O U S E \_ / \/ /\____ ____/ ____ / \ · S T Y L E ! · |
`--------------/__________/__\ _/_------/ / \ / /____\----------------'
___ \_____ \ / _/____\ /
.--------------------\_ ____ / _\__/___\ \/-----------------------.
| Numba One! \ / /___/ __ / \ /\ Competition is none. |
`------------------------\ /---/ ______/---\ /__\----------------------'
.----------------------\/---/ \ ______--\ /-----------------------.
| /____\ \ _ / Y |
| NIKE · AXEBLADE · WISHBRINGER \ \/ / · RAMON · WHIRLWIND · TWANG |
| \ / |
`----------------------------------\/-------------------------------'
This sell out style style can change his owner for 0.6 $ !
___\_
_ _ ___ ___/ //
____ \_\_\_ \ __ ____ _/ ____/__ _ __\_
/ __/_ / / \\// /_ _\_____ \\// (__ /
/ \_ \/ / _ \/ / \/ / \/ ___)_
/ / \ / /\ / _ \ / /\ / _ \
/ /______\ / /__\ / \ / /__\ /____\\_
/ / \/ _ \/ ___\/ \/ / ___\_
/___/ _ / \ _ _ ____/ / //
.--------/ / \/ \___/---------------------/ /-------------.
||¯ _//__________\ / ___\_ / / ¯||
| \ _//___/ ___/ // rN! ___/ / _ __:_\_
| \ _/ ____/__ ____ _/ / _ ____\_ / (__ /
.--: |_ _\____ \\// \ _\_____ /_ / // / ___)_
||¯`--------------------/ / \/ / \ \/ / \/ /___/ / _ \
| -:- / / /\/_ _\ \ / /\ /_ \ /____\\_
-:- hOusE oF sTyLe : _//____/ _//__\/ \_ \ / _//__\ /____\ / /
`-----------------´ \ \ \ / \/ \ \/ \/
\/
Mortimers Ascii-drawed freaks can only be used by prior permission and a
bonus contract by your side !
._ :
____,/__:_____,
__\ \___.-
__/ ___________ /_'-.
`_)__( . . )___/
_/\______,_/_\___
/ /
._/ /_ _ / _
\ ) ( \||
\___/__________\__/__\__
\____[hOS]___/\__/ |
) _ (_|_\___/
__/____\_______\j____l
_\______\_________/----`
/ / \ ©Mt
(________(____________)
\_______|____________|
His Iff Asciis depend on his rating ( refer to the A.R.L ) plus the amount
of lines (multiplied with 0.15 $ ! ) plus a dpaint bonus of 0.5 $ !
In this case , ramon would get a photoshop 3.0 bonus of 2 $ and a windows
braindamagedanger bonus of 100 $ ( well....yes...i still have to work
much with the pc....shame on me...)
_____µæmµ___
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¯|¯ ¬ØØ ØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØ ©Mt :
_____\|___________æØØØØØØØØØØØØØØØ&______________,:._____________________
:
the flower is for free !!!
And here is a little present to all who still read this ehm..this..ehm
this...serious textfile....this ramon head is for free !!!!
ok ok , now please sit down , stop jumping and cheering and read on !
_
_ _ /_ _ _
_/ // \ _\ \ _
_\ \ \\ /_
/ /\ /\ \
/ //\\ //\\_ \_
\_ / \\ // \ /
/_ _// . \ / . \\_ _\
rN!\ \ | / \ | / /
.------\_\__// \\__/_/---------.
||_ / /_ · · \ _||
`--------\\ _ /-----------'
\_ ( _/
\___/
There are also affordable bonus packages of older style INCLUSIVE a
charakter !! This example would cost you 2 $ because of the old style.
A newer style would be bout the double price !!
_
__\
.-----. _ __ _ _____ \ \
_|_ _ _|__ _____. \ _____.__ ____/. \__:-----:__ _ ___/____\__\
\_\_\_\_ \\_ _ |__\\_ _ | \\_ _ | \_:_ _:_/_/_.___))- _/ \
| . | \ | \ | \ |_ \: | _ \| \ | \
|__:__. \___. \___. \____/ | | \___. \_ | \_
: l_____/ l_____/ l_____/ l____| | l_____/_ | / _
_:__________________________________:_ _:____________\ · /____:_:
·-· _____ ___ ___: _ :__ ___ \ / :
______ ._/ .__/___/___\ ___( . \(_)__/. \ ___/__ \ \ / :
_/\/¯_ _¯\/\_ _|_ _|_ \\_ \_ \\_ _ | \__\__| \\_ _\_ \ \/ :
\ / /_ _\ \ / \· | \ | \ |_ \ \| \ | \ .-. :
\\ /_ _\ // \ | \___| \____/ \___. \___| \_¯:¯¯¯¯¯¯:¯:
/_\// __ \\/_\_ \ | / l_____/ \ / l_____/ l_____/ : ¯
\\ ___/\___ //____\ · /____________\ /____________________:_
\\¯(..)¯// ·----.\ / ___ ___\ / _____ ·-·
(( ____ )) :¯¯¯ \ /__/__ \ ___( . \/:-----.___\___ \_ : .
(/(___.)\) : .-.\/| \_ \\_ | __):_ _:_/_._____/_ -÷-----:-
\____\\/:¯:¯¯¯¯:¯ | | \ . \| | \| \ : rN! :
\\ ¯ : |____| \___|_ |_____|___. --\--÷-----÷----
.---------¯-------:-. l_____/ ·\ :/ : l________\ · :
:<---------------> ¯ <--------------->\\ //
:bLuNtEd·gAnJa·aRtZ iS aN rEgiStErEd /_\/_\
:tRaDeMaRK aNd oNlY hIgH qUaLiTy sTuFf \/
:will be released unDeR diZ lAbeL! _
`----------------------------------:-·
:
wHisHbHrHinHgaHs banner style is for free...or would u pay for it ???
_ . _ __ \____ ___, ___, ___ _ .
__(_ made on reQuest:. )_ _\ ( O U_\___ e _\__ __ _\___ t \__/ L e _ _
. .\ _ __/.. o \ _ __/ _ _/..
BUT DONT FUCK WITH HIS BITCH !!!
_____
((^,^))wB!
)) o ((
/\ _____ _\_/__ ____ /\
\_)___/\o__(_o)/\___(_/
\ \( )/__/ /
__/\ \ . / \_)/
(_(_/\___*___/
His Alternative style costs the normal fees plus a no-modem bonus , stamps
and inactivity bonus makes a total of 1.6 $ !!
___
_(__/ .
/\ ___ .\ / _.____
/ \ ______ _ _( /__ ___ _______ _____._ \_/ _\___ /_
/ \ _\___ /_ __ ___/ _(_o/ _) ____) _) ____) \ \___)
__/ /\ \_\ \___)/ (_ __ \_ \ _\_ \__ __ \_ \__ __ i \___\
\___/__\____\___\ \___//__)) ___) _/____//__) _/__._//__) c r ____.__
__________ e c _) ____)
_\ _\____/ l \ \._ __
\___/_ ___ \ ___//__)
__/____/ _( / .
. \ /_ _
_\___//_)
wB!
Whirlwinds asciis are unpayable coZ his art only can be found in many
highly rated european museums like Louvre, Ludwig Forum etc...
-> MY PLaCe DuTCH DReaMZ! <-
___
__________ ______ _______/ T__ _________________ ___
\______ \\_ T __ __/__\_ _______ T \
/ T \/ | \/ !_/ \/ \_____/ \
/ ! \ ! / \ / . \
\ _________/ ________\ _________/ ________\ ___!_____/
+\_/-[WhW!]-\_/--------\_/--------\_/--------\_/--------+
__________ ___________ ____________________________________ __________
\______ \\______ \\_ ______ __ \ _/ ______/
/ T \/ T __/ / ____// l \/ . . \/ \______ \
/ ! \ . \/ / . / | | / \
\ _________/ ___| \ _______\ ___!____\ ___!____!____\ __________/
+\_/--------\_/--!_____/\_/-------\_/--------\_/-------------\_/---------+
Now we come to the situation that u may have only 1.30 $ left but are in
big need of an ascii...
____/_____
\ / / ____ _______ _______ _______
\/ / ___\____) __ (___\__ _\/_ __/__) ___ /___
/\ /__\ \ ____ \/ \ / \/ _____/ /
/ \ _________\ \ / /\____\/ /\ _ \ / /
\/ \____\/ /rN! /____/ \_\ \/ /
/____/ \______/
This ascii would cost you 0.40 $ plus ramons rating price of 1.1 $
But we can offer you THIS !!
____ _______ _______
_\____) __ (___\__ _\/_ /
\ ____ \/ \ / /
L \ \ / /\____\/ / E
\____\/ /rN! /____/
/____/
You can choose the letters u wanna have replaced by ordinary letters , in
this example its the L and the E ! So you just pay 1.30 $.
Another possibility is to allow commercial banners from our group . each
banner lowers the price down to 0.05 $ ! ( tag not included ! )
____/_____ hOs hOs hOs
h\ /h /hOs hOs _hOs _hOs___ __hOs__ _hOs__hOs s
o\/o hOs ___\____) __ (___\__ _\/_ s __/__) ___ /___ o
s /\s /__\hOs\ hOs ____ h \/hOs\ /o \/hOs _____/ /h
/ h\ _________\ \ /o /\____\/h /\ _ \ /HOS /
o\/hOS hOS\____\/s /rN! /____/ h\_\ \/ /e
s rulez hOS/____/ hOs hOS ous\__hOs_/l
hOs e-of-sty
So this logo would cost you nothing !! 30 multiplied with 0.05 = 1.5 $
A very popular method is to order a mix of a cheap and an expensive style.
Looks good ? haeh...
.__.
: : ____ _______ _______ _______
: : ._______) __ (___\__ _\/_ /__/ ___ /
: :__: \ ____ \/ \ / / .____/_
:_________:\ \ / /\____\/ /: : :
\____\/ /rN! /____/ : ^-- :
/____/ :___________:
And finally a COMPLETE Font from A-Z without any tags . This special
offer has to be permited personally by our side. Dont try to use them
without our knowledge . If you break these rulez you can get a prison
sentence up to 5 years...so think twice!
_____ _____
_____ \ _\___________ ___________/_ / _______
_____) ___ \_\__\______ __/_________ \ ______/__/__) __ /___
\ ____ \/ _ \ / \/ _____/__\ _ \ / \/ _____/ /
\ \ / /\_\ \/ /\ _ \ / /\_\ \/ /\ _ \ / /
\____\/ / \______/ \_\ \/ / \______/ \_\ \/ /
/____/ \______/ \______/
________
___ \_______\
_________/ /____ ________ _____
__________\ _ _____/\__ _\________\__ _/ _____ / /
\ _____\/ _ \ _ \/ \______ \/ \___\ __/ / /
\ _/ \_\ \/ /\ \ / /\____\ _ \ / /
\ \ \______/ \____\/ / \_\ \/ /
\____\ /____/ \______/
_____ ___ ________ ____ ________________
\ _\/ _/____\__ _/____\ /____ ____\__ ____ __/_____________
\ \______ \/ _ \ _ \/ _\/_ \/ \ / \/ ____ /
\ \ / /\_\ \/ /\ \ / /\____\/ /\ _ \ / /
\____\/ / \______/ \____\/ / /____/ \_\ \/ /
/____/ /____/ \______/
______
________________ ____/ ____/_____
_____________\__ ____ __/__________\ /______ __/_____________
\ ____ \/ _ \ / \/ ____ \/ _ \ / \/ ____ /
\ _\__/ /\_\ \/ /\ \ _/ /\_\ \/ /\ \ /____/
\ \_______/ \_________\____\ _/ \ \______/ \____\
\____\ \________\
_____ ___ ___
____\ \________ _______ / /____________ _______ ______ / /
/ /\ \ _/__ __/_/ /\ \ _/ \ __/_\ _/ /__
/ /__\ \ \ / \/ _/ \_ \ \ / \/ \____ __/
/______________\ \/ /______/\______\ \/ /\ _ \ / /
\________/ \ o/\o / \_\ \/ /
\ / \ / \____/
_____________ Y .. Y
\ ____ / ( )
_\____\__/ / abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz ) o(
\ _____/___ BY ^---^
\ \ _ / rAmoN!
\ \/ /
\_______/
Chapter 4
Ordering Infos and pay-agreement sheet
The House of Style Foundation has several offices in all continents.
Select your country or the country your country is the nearest to .
8 Offices in Europe
Germany - 52088 Aachen Kifferstr.1 - hOs german Skunk plantage
Holland - 6000 Amsterdam Cocainlan.33 - Hos Opium Hq
France - 51000 Paris Eifeltower at the top - Hos Bungee Place
Hungary - 4710 Gyoer Dimitrovsetaj.4 - Hos lets fuck bitches corner
Sweden - 9999 Skunkoeping grasaden.99 - Hos back to the nature hideout
England - 2000 London Junglstreet.1 - Hos Recording Studios inc.
Norway - 4000 Oslo Dopoegrund.20 - Hos Dope Spreadquarter
Suisse - 7070 Gruetzi BergTalstr.22 - Hos Snowboard Section
2 Offices in Africa
Marocco - 2123 Ketama Hadabeldulan.12 - Hos Haschisch Habladubaldub
Egypt - Cheops Pyramid - Hos Archeologic Centre for Alienstudy
3 Offices in Asia
India - 2202 Manali Hajakaja.22 - Hos Chillout Hash Temple
KAshmir - Udugua Hmjajaka.120 - Hos Dope-Cocaine Fusion Centre
Japan - 99000 Tokyo Van-chen-chung.15 - Hos Electronic Office
2 Offices in North America
West Coast - 20300 Los Angeles Holywoodblvd.333 - Hos Western Rap Studios
East Coast - 10000 New York Gangstablvd.123 - Hos Eastern Rap Studios
2 Offices in South America
Columbia - 2341 Tacco Hassienda del sol - Hos Drug Headquarter
Nicaragua - 1202 Santo del mio oh sole - Hos Revolution Base
1 Office in Australia
Sydney - 2302 Cangoru Coalastr.22 - Hos Ozone Testquarter
Completely fill out the ordering sheet...if you try to fake us and dont
answer the questions truthfully than u may get into serious trouble !
.-----------------------------.-------------------:----------------.-
: Name - : Amount of Letters :
-:---------------:-------------:-------------------:----------------:-
: Street - : Cost of Background :
-:---------------:-------------:-------------------:----------------:-
: City / Code - : Names of asciis :
-:---------------:-------------:-------------------:- :
: Country - : :
-:---------------:-------------:- -:- :
: 3 Numbers of : :
: cool bitches : -:- :
: in your town : :
-:---------------:-------------:-------------------:----------------:-
: BanK Account : Xtra wishes :
-:---------------:-------------:-------------------:----------------:-
: Parents work : Artist :
-:---------------:-------------:-------------------:----------------'
Send letter with a disk , the money ( or the other stuff ) , the sheet
to one of the hos adresses...
You also can transfer the money to : Banque de Suisse - Hos 110111112
Or contact us on any board we can be found on...
Chapter 5
Other paying methods
There exist several paying methods that allows you to send us something
else than money. The paying method depends individually on the behaviour
of an artist , can be found in the ratings list. Here are the hos accepted
wares u can send us instead of money :
Nike : Tobacco , Liquids , new shoes (adidas) , Playboy , porsche
summer holiday outside of holland ( would be his first time )
Cheese ( Gouda and Emmendaler or sumthin like dat
Axeblade : Psychadelic-Pill-Mashine , Spraycans , Mushrooms ,
Tobacco , New Underwear , Lsd , winter holidays outside of
his neighborhood , a new liver , new fresh brain cells
Cheese ( Gouda and Emmendaler or sumthin like dat
Wishbringer : a Ganja-Skunk-Astma-Inhalator , a selfplaying guitar
alternative cd^s , a new home , neuken in de keuken
Cheese ( Gouda and Emmendaler or sumthin like dat )
Ramon : Gras (no lame joints please ! i really can do it myself ) , Dope
Mushrooms , Dat-Recorder , Jamaican Rum , Tobacco plus papers
Cigaretes , Tapes , Lp^s , Danone , a pack of skunk that never
gets empty , Mescalin , Salamis ( Pork only ) , a new lung
Mortimer : Spacecakes , India Tea ( Hash Oiled ) , an appartment in london
a bitch that never says no , calling cards , valium , natreen
Flyers , Sunshine and a warm summer
Whirlwind : an own hos collection , doc file how to install and start ced
weapons , a new identity , cornflakes with bloody taste
Cheese ( Gouda and Emmendaler or sumthin like dat
Splatter Movies
In the past , users send us shit like vitamin-pills , milk , chewing gums
intellectual books , long letters ( we dont read ! ) etc...
Please stop nerving us with such a shit ! Only serious gifts will get
serious results.
Chapter 6
Informations , Projects , Future
6.1
Basic Informations
The House of Style Coorporation in 96
Nike - Supervising Supervisor , Dutch Skunk Minister , Hos Leading Leader
Axeblade - Managing Manager , Dutch Lsd Advisor , Hos Co-Leading Leader
Whirlwind - Killing Killer , Dutch Violence Instructor , Hos Co Co L.L.
Wishbringer - Alternate Alternative , Dutch Peace Maker , Hos Co Co Co L.L.
Mortimer - Jungle Junglist , Scandinavian Tundra Smoker , Hos 4xCo ca in L.
Ramon - Blunted Blunter , German-Hungarian Salami Trademinister , BlaBlaBla
Chapter 6.2
House of Style Products in 96
The House of Style Product Palette has a wide range this year.
32 Collies , karaoke Music Release , the pricelist for 96 (this one)
pHat jungLe muZak-diZk soon , pHat orb-hos gRaF dEmo soon !
A N D !
1 : The Secrets of Ascii - written by Prof.Dr.Ramon for H.O.S.inc...!
214 Pages , 130 Illustrations , Workshops , Interviews , 100 % Hemp
99.99 $ makes it the most economic book in this category.
Bertelsmann International writes on 21.1.96
The master himself came down to the unholy ground to surprise the
world with this historical milestone in ascii business. The Reader
gets a deep impression in art creation and interpretation with the
effect of an indipendent Ascii Developing Understandment by the
Reader himself. Structural Analysation and Functional Functioness
are just two of many brilliant features of this book. A well done
Ascii Lexicon completes this fantastic release. We give you a sample
of the Lexiconical Part
Chapter 22.4
R wie Richard oder Ricardo oder Ralph oder Rocker oder rezlig-neram
Rookie - ascii artist in his first sceneyear
Respects - slimy asslicking attends
Ramon - just unexplainable
Ramirez - totaly unimportant
Releases - tu matsch bullshit
Return - comeback of artist coz of smoking and drinking away all da money
Remember - respects to xyz bla bla and to all i cant REMEMBER.
Ripper - a not so god artist that borrows sum elements from anotha artist
- a bad artist that steals sum elements from anotha artist
- a bad lamer that steals the whole idea of anotha artist
- a stoopid idiot that just use the fuschnik-powersnapper v 2.2
- a slimy little piece of shit that sits home and jerks off all day
- the most hated creature on earth
- the most unimportant creature on earth
- the most most dis dis liked liked ass ass hole hole on earth
- the most hunted creature on earth
- the most despised lowest form of life
A ripper usually lives under bridges , in containers , in caves . Sometimes
its possible to see them in parks near the centre of a city. The range of
people a ripper can fool is small. He only can operate in his current
enviroment. Normally he makes 4 calls a month by using an internet cafe
in town. The first call is for leechin new Collections , the other 3 calls
are to gather the incoming requests. He can not release an own collection
coz the scene would unmask him at once ! After he gets the requests from
his selected user group , he starts ripping. To do this , a ripper visits
a shopping centre with electronic sections. First he conquers an amiga
an exhibition model) and start ripping letters from the new stuff and
adjust them together according to the requests. The Managment of the
electronic sections are helpless. The rippers are in Possession of several
viruses that make them invulnerable against the attends of the personal to
get them away from the amiga exhibit. Up to Modern Civilisation its
unexplored how they got a disk with ced + doc viruses , several libraries ,
different keymaps and fonts . In two cases we found even a registered
ced 3.5 version after we eliminated four maniac rippers. Maybe there are
some traitors in the scene that also are in connection to one or two
potential rippers , maybe a ripper committed a robbery in the past
and unfortunately got in posession of the one or another programm. We wont
find out. So after Ripping together all the requests he starts wandering
around in his town , gets to his customers , gives them the faked wares and
collects the money...The group of interested people is the group of phobos
fastcall , aminet , mailway-net and pc user. Coz they dont know nothing !
When he gets together all da money , he directly spends it on stuff. As
you might know , 100 % of the Rippers are addicted to heroin , xtasy
patex and poppos. The average life expectation is 29 years.
tHere iZ another form of ripping that is quite unusual and it happend just
at the time when i wrote this book...i did a hos banner that i thought
will be used by da hos posse for other releases...it looks like diz :
__________
_\ ____ /_ ____ _
____ \ \ / / __/_/__
\ _\______\__ \/ /_____ /\
\ \______ \/_____/ _ / / \\
.---/\ \ / /\ \ \/ / //------------------------------.
| /______\/ /_ \_____\ _ ___// / |
`--\ /____/\/------\ \\ /--------------------------------'
\_____\ \ \ \_ ___\/
\____\/
nO tag, only the names of the asciis were inside the small box...
bUt there is a clever dude who tried avoiding paying the price of
1.45 $....sO he did this...
__________
_\ ____ /_ ____ _
____\ \/ / / __/_/__ .tHe sOs m8s.
_ __/ __/\__ \/ /_____ /\
_// /______ \/_____/ _ / / \\
.---/ _ / \ \ \/ / //------------------------------.
| /____ \/ /\_____\ _ ___// / rN! |
`-------\ _ ___// /----\ \\ /--------------------------------'
\ \\ / \_ ___\/
\_ ___\/
well...a ripper would have done diz...
__________
_\ ____ /_ ____ _
____\ \/ / / __/_/__ .tHe sOs m8s.
_ __/ __/\__ \/ /_____ /\
_// /______ \/_____/ _ / / \\
.---/ _ / \ \ \/ / //------------------------------.
| /____ \/ /\_____\ _ ___// /jTr! |
`-------\ _ ___// /----\ \\ /--------------------------------'
\ \\ / \_ ___\/ /.\
\_ ___\/ :
:
JackTheRipper
...but xcZ tried to replace the first letter as good as possible...he did
quite a urgz job...but he made a rN!...pretty amazing...but his job was
not 100% and he broke article 12 of the ACL (asciis constitunional law)
tHe 100% version would be like diz...
__________
_\ ____ /_ ____ _
_______\ \ / / __/_/__
\ ___/_\__ \/ /_____ /\
__\____ \/_____/ _ / / \\
.---/_ _ / /\ \ \/ / //------------------------------.
| /_\ \/ / \_____\ _ ___// / rN! |
`--\ \__ _ _// /------\ \\ /--------------------------------'
\__\ \\ / \_ ___\/
\___ _\/
...and the newest updated version 1.4 is kinda diz one...
____________ ___________
\ _______/_____ \ ______/______
__\_________ _ /____/\____\_________ /
\ _ _ / \/ ____ _ _ _ / /h
\____\ \/ /\ _ \ / \____\ \/ /o
\_________\_\ \/ /rN! \______/s
\______/
...well fortunatly ( for excluziwe ) only article 12 of the ACL
(asciis constitunional law) existed, that means 30 hours of forced labour
and 200 $ fine...but we thinks datz not enuff, so we in hos released an
own law to forbid such things in da future......and unfortunatly ( for
excluziwe ) this law is valid now till 6 month back in time...so start
sellin your car and your house and so on...its gonna be very very expensive
...now lets welcome prof.dr.Hrundi bakshi...he will try to explain the
reasons for different law violations and tries to find the source
of such unsocial behaviours...
- well prof.dr.hb...my first question is : Why ?
-...hmhm..a very good question...hmhm..yes...very very good..go on...
- ehm..yes..thank you...okay..tell us please..why ?
- well...we have to analyze this example above..then we will see the huge
spectrum of possibilities, that finally can end up in such results..
we have to know about xcz social lifestandart...about his culture...and of
course about his underwear...where is he living...small town...or a big
city...is there a possibility for him to make phonecalls ?...inside of
scandinavia...or also outside...can he speak and write correctly fluent
english...has he sisters...or brothers...or both ?...or maybe an animal..
- sorry to interrupt you...but why is an animal necessary in this
discussion ???
-...a good question...yes...eeehm..hemhem..very good..sooo i thiiink..ehm.
well...yes..of course...he has to go outside with the dog maybe four
times a day...thats maybe 2 hours...other guys write much letters and
make much calls to request directly from an artist...and xcz is maybe in
the forest all day...
- ...i dont know if i can believe that...hmhm..sounds strange..
-...no..its true..all i say...is true...so its maybe the dog...yes...the
dog.....
- and if not ???...
-....oh yes...if not?..if not..if not...theeeen..eehm...the food...pizza
maybe...
- pizza ?
- yes...some old rotten and bad pizza...fried pizza....and xcz has to
stay in bed..but he needed that ascii for sum extra income..maybe...to
higher up the quality of his colli and that means more money..of course..
that must it be...
- why are u telling me such crap ?
- well...hmhm..why..i dont know...maybe i have no better ideas ?
-...and if you would have betta ideas ?
- hmmm...well...then i would say...ehm....communication problems...yes..
of course...thats it...communication problems...yes...that sounds good
he just calls in scandinavia...and rn! just calls in central europe..
xcz had no other choice..dont u think he did a good job..
- well...not bad...but..
-...no but..i mean...you are just sittin there and ask me a lot of
stupid questions...and i have to answer them...and if it do not fit
into ya mind then u start gettin nervous n shit and jerk on me...
- hey...you get money for your work..and that is to analyse and interpret
and WE pay you right now...and im here for questions...nothin more...
understand ???
- ..yes...i do...but if u would ask me sum easier questions...than it
would be also easier for me...
- maybe u are right...okay...so who will be nba world champion this year ?
- hah..dats easy...the bulls of course..
- do you can explain me : why ???
- no problem..well his airness , and beam me up scotti , dennis da menace
and slam dunks in you face and the croatian sensation toni , luc duke
longley and nike air shoes and yes..the fans...the coach...the season
record of more than 70 wins...and america..and..and...and...and....
...hmhm...i wrote all da shit some weeks ago and HEY ! bulls only need one
more win , than they DID IT !
Damn...they just lost game 4 ! argh...tonite at 3 o clock, just afta i
release this shit will be game 5 live...! Please god ! let them win !
2 : Guitar Tuning made easy - Jimmy Wishbringer explains new techniques
340 Pages , Many Colored Pictures and Tabulators , Example Cd
New York Times writes :
The most usefull and best and so on production in the musical booklet
market. Buy , buy , buy and buy.
3 : Medical future with drugs - Axe Hippie Blade about amazing discoveries
280 Pages , no colors , little bag with all kind of drugs
220 $ makes this package together with 6 different lsd , 4 different
gras , 2 different cocaine , 4 different mushroom and 5 different
xtasy sorts very cheap and usefull.
The first time you look into this amazing book , it seems boring and
ununderstandable. But after taking the first trip it becomes full off
colors , fantastic pictures and even quite soft music. The author bases
his theories on the traditional behaviour and ability of drug consumers
to achieve a never reached level of potential agreement. He wants
headache pills and other medical medicals replaced by lsd cocain and so
on to achieve a higher level of medical help. Or do you think the
headache stays after u sniffed away a one mile long line ?
Chapter 6.3
The Future of Hos
Well , WE are the future !!!
Chapter 7
The war with divine stylers
NoRMALLY a war is useless and causes damage on both sides. But we are
not normal , even not human...We are kinda undestructable killermashines
only thinking of killing , chilling , smoking and doin da nasty...And dats
the reason why ds! totally fucked up...A war has the image to be bad and
cruel...but not this one...naaaaah...or do you think that someone cares
if one of the useless , ugly wannabee scandinavian ascii scene dudees
fucks up ? ...noooohohohoho...So here is the REAL stohohohory !
Mortimer left ds! but said that he would be always down with ds! in the
muzak section...but his influence in ds after the trade stayed huge...
who will become leader of ds now , many asked. Normally Orlingo...he
was very very angry about mortimas influence , mt was the obstacle to his
leadership. So he saw only one way to become the most important person in
ds. Revolution ! Yes , you heard right. Revolution. Unbelievable but true.
The whole story in the past was a fake. Propaganda , Espionage , corruption
national treason and many more ! Do you think that we ( Haus of Schteil )
would drive to scandinavia and only kill 2 or 3 dudees ??? Do you really
think that ?? Huehuehuauargz...We are no 14 year old kiddis that maybe have
one or two kills to mention...naaahaha...So there it goes...The story
begins in the very special moment when the phone starts to ring at the
house of style hassienda del sol in tacco de la columbia on a late
afternoon just after axeblade kicked sum lines and after whirlwind blowed
all his sperms into a hot sexhungry-ladys pussy.
Phone: RingRangRungtaetaelaeee...
aXeBlade: Sniiiiffff...
wishbringer ( pickin up da phone ) : Hassienda del sol del mar
Casa dela stilicio , Jasper a los phonos.
women: ela una europanos callos fromos scandinavios. Vaja condios
remainos calmos una secunda por favor mon amigo.
wishbringer: Si Si seniorita...
Orlingo ( on the phone...where else ?? ) : h...h..hh..he.heellooo ?
wishbringer: Hassienda del sol del mar Casa dela stilicio ,
Jasper a los phonos.
Orlingo: Hello. Im Orlingo. From Europe. hehe..heh..ehm..can i talk
to mortimer please ?
wishbringer: Yo...wait a minute...i try to find him...uno momento...
Jeeeeeeeeroen !!!
aXeblade: Snnnnnfffffff...yehehehhuaaa yes ??
wishbringer: U saw Lucas ??
axebLade: well...sniff sniff...i think hes outside. at the pool or
in the field or at the beach...eye dunnohohoho...hey..i just found the
scarface video we missed...i will watch it now..have to take sum lines
first...like tony montana...huaaa..yyyes..ratatatat sniiiiiiff...puuuuto
im tony montana....aaaaaaah...u wanna watch it too ??
wishbringer: eh..hmhmm..well i think we are going to watch a film
tonight in our private cinema in da city.You forgot ? Quentin ,
Harvey and Bruce will be there. So i dont want to watch a film right now
axeblade: uhh..ooh...thats kewl..maria wants to come too ? right..
wb ( hmhmh...i just found out that its easier to write wb than
wishbringer...huehue...argh): Yes...Of course. Maria will be there
tonight...i think she likes you very much...
ab: do you think so ?? really....snnnnniiifffffff....great...
wb: but hey...be nice to here...i mean...shes no bitch...
ab: hey...i know...i dont want a one night fuck and over and out thang.
wb: oki..huuups..the guy from europe is still on the phone...i look
for mortima....c u l8er...
ab: jajaja...aaaah....maaaaria....hechelhechelhechelechz...
Wishbringer leaves to the backside of the hassienda...12 minutes passed
so far.....meanwhile in hoostoking , sweden in the communication center
where all the calls are routed.
Swedish PhoneCompanyEmployee ( short SPCE) : ....blablabla...and so it
looks like i will loose my job.
Spce2: But why ?
Spce1: Well, unfortunately nearly no calls are routed trough my office,
as u know, we have 650 offices and every office has one routing line
to observate , listen in and intercept calls...and now the managment
thinks about closing my office and divide my route to other offices..
i need calls that together are worth 500$...the final date is in
2 days...
Spce2: hmhm...wot u need is a wonder, my friend...
hmhm...look...maybe thats your wonder..
Spce1 (looks to the monitor): a call from sweden to columbia...hes 14
minutes on the line right now...ohh please be my wonder and dont hang
up !!!
Back in Columbia outside Hassienda del sol del mar delos poppos. You stand
outside dela casa...a small way to the nw brings you back to the house.
The beach is to the south. In the east direction you see a large plantage.
There is a pool next to you. You see a table with sunoil and a cocktail.
Ramon and Gordana are inside the pool.
What shall we do:
wb: first of all stop with this text-adventure thing...i really dont
like text adventures...it only damages my brain...
okay...okay...
wb: Hey andy...You know where lucas is ?
rn: well...aaaah...gordaaaahhhna...dont stop pleeeeaaahhse...ehm..i think
hes at the bea...beeeah....biiiiatch....beach...
wb: oki...someone is one the phone waiting for him...well...u havent
forgot tonight ?
rn: nooo....of course NOT...u think i would forget, that quentin and
staff is comin...naah...by the way...he called up today...you
where in town at that moment...we talked about you...
wb: oh..yes ? about what ????
rn: well, he read your script...and he loves it...
wb: whaat ?? really ? ohh..keewl..thats nice to hear...
rn: like i said to you when i read it...but u have been always so
unsure about it...the scene where the young girl comes to the shop
to visit her friend and goes to the toilet and the light is broke and
she thinks that the guy inside is her friend and starts fuckin him but
its the old man that went to the toilet in a previous scene with a
porno magazine and started to jerk and died coz of a heart attack and
she fuhuhucks him...hahahue...and comes out with a smile and the guy
is back in the shop and she asks how quick he got on his cloth and that
he was so cute...that she did all and he said no word and did nothing
and so on...hehehe and than they recognize that she fucked with a dead
man....thats also the scene that quentin went crazy when he read it...
just great...
33 minutes passed so far...
Meanwhile in sweden.
Spce1: oooh yeees...thats great...33 minutes...thats about 100 dollars so
far....ohh...god....if u can hear me....i have 4 children...they are
so sweeeet...help me please....
Back in Columbia
wb: well i take a look at the beach..its 7 o clock now...hmm i think
we have to be ready at about ten...so dont be late..
rn: of course not...or am i too late honey bunny ?
gordana: noooo my steel banana...you always come at the right moment..
rn: you hear it , jasper...thats the truth...by the way...you saw
the phillies box ? i checked out the new indish ganja-x-tract oil on
a cigarette...and its great..i made an own box with 30 cigarettes...but
they are gone...
wb: oh..yes..i saw them...axeblade has them...
rn: arrgh...i knew it...hes so lazy...hes too lazy to roll a joint..
i will grab this motherfuckin fucker right now...
Jumps out of the pool and runs inside...
Wishbringer reaches the beach...Mortimer , Nike and 2 beautifull black
women are sitting in the sand talkin to each other.
nk: yo there comes Jasper...hideehoo...
wb: yoho...wats up!
mt (talkin to one of the women):...so i need a female vocal part for
my new jungle trax...you sang at Pubo del Tequilla one week ago
and u have a fantastic voice...
sheela: thx...but its nothing compared with my voice when we both
would be together in bed...
mt:..uuh..eeh..ehem..wow...u are really straight in saying things..
sheela: thats the temperament of this country...
wb: ...jo lucas...someone is one the phone for you...
mt:..eeeh..yoyo...one minute...hey baby , we will meet us later this
evening , at 11 o clock infront of da cinema ...
sheela:....ohhh keeeh...well actually im so hot , i will go home now
take a shower and do it myself...and l8ter we do it together..
mt:(lookin angry to wb) who the fuck is callin ???
wb: someone , i forgot the name ...
mt: (stands up) fuck fuck fuck , okay , bye boyz-n-girlz , see ya
later !!
He takes a last helpless look to sheela , and then disappears together
with wishbringer besides the sandhill.
...back in sweden...
SPCE1: 46 minutes and 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 seconds ,
HEEEEEYAA , 26 , 27 , 28 , 29 , 30 , HEEEEYAHEEEYA ...
...back to columbia...
mt: blablabla...blabla...blub...
wb: blub blub hehehe...blablabla...blub...
hmhmhm.....nothing interesting happening here...
...back to orlingos place....
orlingo: grggrgr...hmmmppf...graaah...
...something happens in columbia....joining the scene again...
mt: hey , look wot i found in da sand....a biig faat joint...hey if we
smoke it , we will have luck tonite...an old fairy tale says that
he who finds the hopeless soul of a ganja joint , he will gather all
the luck and happiness in this universe and looses the fear of
evil mind capture and slaveness ends when ganja comes into the heart
of any human beeing of this holy planet and respect overcomes each
the respect of life , and the fun of smokin a big phat motherfukin
ganja-blunt...
wb: ehm...well..oki...lets smoke it...
mt: (lights da fire) flash!....pfffffffffuah...huuuh...hah..
gruaaaaaaaahr...grugh....grugh...uhuaa...aaah..eh..heh...
grgrgrgraaargh....hechel..hechel...hey...dats a good blunt..
wb: (takes a lick)...pfffffffffuah...huuuh...hah...yes...very good...
hey look...theres a name written down here at the filter of the
joint...this joint belongs to ramon...if u smoke u die !...
hehehe...too late for him...
...back to sweden...
SPCE1: 59 minutes and 14 , 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 , 19 , 20 seconds ,
HEEEEEYAA , 26 , 27 , 28 , 29 , 30 , HEEEEYAHEEEYA ...
36 , 37 , 38 , 39 , 40 , HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAHAHA....
52 , hey man take out the champaign , 55 , its in my bag , 59 ,
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE HOUR !! horray....
...back in columbia....
Inside the house...
Tv: come on , COME ON , HEH , U WANNA FUCK WITH ME ???
U WANNA FUCK WITH TONY MONTANA ??? HEEEEH ? RAATTATARARARATA KAWOOM
sPLASH ... IM THE FUCKIN BEST...
ab: Yeah tony , shoot their fuckin asses...kick it ...
TV: COME ON...AAAH...I KILL Yortor.rgr-..hmpf...
ab:...yo wot the fuck..? fuck...fuck..the end of the film is erased...
ooooh...fuck...fuck..
Axeblade goes back to the main hall where he fortunatly sights some nice
lookin lines on a table...
ab: hey...i take a sniff and then call this stupid video rent and tell
them my opinion...motherfuckers....
....sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif..
wow..dat woz long...
He goes back to the other end of the hall where the phone stands...
ab: who the fuck took up the phone...(picking up the phone and dialing)
peep pep peeeep
orlingo: heeelo peep he pep lllo...
ab: wot are u doing in the line ?? hey...
orlingo: ehm..im waitin for mortimer...
ab: hes not here rite now ! call back later...
orlingo:...no..no...wait..i`m wan...
KLICK !
arghghgh !
ab: now i call this fuckin video shop...damn it !
_.______________________________________________________________________._
_|______________________________________________________________________|_
Will Axeblade get a new film ?
Will Wishbringer die bekoz of the joint ?
Will Ramon find his pack of phillies ??
Will Gordana wait for him in the pool ??
What is Nike doin at the beach with the ladys ???
Will he take both of em ???
Will Mortimer find it out ??
And Whirlwind is still fucking ???????????
Will the nice swedish operator-employe lose his job ??
We didnt forgot about the ds!-war...
...but such things , described above , are more relevant !
...hehehehehe...
SO THIS SEEMS TO BE THE END OF PART 1
DONT MISS THE SECOND PART ! WILL BE OUT SOON !
Chapter 8
Sum last Words
This TextFile seems to be full of explicit drug lyrics.
But Ganja is no drug at all , also mushrooms and other natural plants
Its a political drug, means the politicians and other powerfull people
are afraid that the people start thinkin bout their own life in another
point of view, means ganja brings ya more back to your roots and u have
more motivation to act against the system, instead of underthrowin
yaself to the society...If Ganja would be legalized now in germany it
wont be any extraspecial effect to the society in this period of time
but maybe in 50 years...So thats the point peeps must learn...
Cigarettes, alcohol and medicals are more dangerous than all
the stuff you can earn and learn from da nature..
About this shit ?!?
Well this thing was done for fun , but there also are
many things that are worth thinkin about !!
Btw : Yo XcLuZiwe ! Why are u doin such fuckin shitty things ???
A Logo from me would neva look like the one u "re-mixed"
u even changed the O by an additional / !!!! Why ?? And a 3d block
is missing on the first S ! and sum little more mistakes...
damn...stop doin such faked stuff !!! well take the sos 100 % version
if ya like, but dont blame yaself with such stoopid actions !
Special Guest Appearance
Nup / Mo-sOuL
Greetings Corna
Steel , Bullock , Double , RamireZ , Spellfire , Probe , Lazy , Hotwire
Sal-1 , Mogue , Nup , Axeblade , Wishbringer , Nike , Radavi
Whirlwind , Red Demon , Treach , Mephisto , Mortimer , Stylewars , Segoy
Aweson , Linus , Dragon , H2o , Clairvoyant , Leprosy , Slime , Yop
HOUSE OF STYLE IN 96
NIKE AXEBLADE WISHBRINGER WHIRLWIND RAMON MORTIMER
...rAmoNe says peace and outta here...
@BEGIN_FILE_ID.DIZ
.__.________._____ .---------------------.
| | | . | ___/ | HOUSE OF STYLE |
| . | | |___ | | PRICELIST IN 1996 ! |-.
|__|__|_____|____| `---------------------' |
| . | |
| | | A COMPLETE ASCII-SCENE ANALYSATION |
|_____| WITH ALL IMPORTANT RULEZ !! |
| .___/ TIPS HOW TO BECOME AN ALETE DUDE ! |
|__. | THE TRUTH ABOUT THE DS!-HOS BATTLE |
| | | AND OUR NEW VERY CHEAP ASCII-PRICES|
|_____| ...done by ramon of coZ ! <------'
@END_FILE_ID.DIZ