Preview
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entropy; issue #1. Ôʾ Ä¿ ÄÄÂÄÂÂÒÂÒÒÒ»³QÀ
~ ~ ~~~~~`
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | INTRODUCTION. ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
welcome to issue #1 of ENTROPY, which has been so painstakingly created for
you (the reader) by myself (the author).
chances are, you don't want to read a lengthy introduction.
furthermore, it is also likely that you don't even want to read any even re-
motely lengthy introductions.
perhaps you downloaded this expecting drawings, or because it's got my name on
it, or simply because i e-mailed it to you. or whatever.
one way or another, if you didn't open this file in order to read things...
TOO FUCKING BAD.
upon opening this file, you have essentially signed a contract between your-
self (again, the reader) and myself (to reiterate, the author) which LEGALLY
REQUIRES YOU to read a minimum of 75% of the text within.
don't want to read? fine.
see what i care when vito shows up at your house to crack your fucking skull.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³ LITERARY JUSTIFICATION
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ OF THE USE OF THE WORD
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | "FUCK" IN WHAT IS ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : OTHERWISE LOQUACIOUS ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù PROSE. . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
i use the word "fuck", and many derivations of the word "fuck", fairly freq-
uently.
you may or may not have noticed this.
the reason for this is fairly cut-and-dry; it gets a point across like no oth-
er word possibly could.
for example, when used to accentuate an adjective (i.e. "that's fucking brill-
iant"), "fuck" adds a caustic, sarcastic tone which no other modifier could
ever hope to achieve. it's the absolute in terms of a cutting, biting tone.
it is also a very insulting word. this is a positive aspect, in that i feel
insults to be among the highest forms of artistic conversation (and written
narrative; if you don't believe me, check out j.d. salinger's _franny and
zooey_).
third, "fuck" in its verb tense has a far more detached, emotionless (not to
mention kinetic) connotation than does any other equivalent (e.g. "intercourse"
"coitus", or "lovemaking"). you don't fuck somebody you care about (see foot-
note). anonymous, intoxicated randoms get FUCKED - girlfriends and loved ones
(like, significant others...not siblings) have sex with you (if you're a real
nerd, you might even "make love" to them. i've never known anyone to do that
[or, if they did, to admit it in public]). sex is slow, romantic, and emotion-
al - FUCKING is carnality, pornography, perversion. it's the difference be-
tween taking it slow and taking it in the ass.
in conclusion, i feel that this piece should provide a valid literary argument
(or excuse, as it were) for my somewhat frequent use of vulgarity in my wri-
ting.
you prune-fucking imbecile.
* FOOTNOTE: you don't fuck somebody that you care about...AT THE TIME. in
retrospect, however (especially in "guy talks"); when the emotion is a thing of
the past; you'll probably state that you did, in fact, FUCK them. this is, in
my eyes, morally acceptable.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿ LONG-TERM IM-
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | PLICATIONS OF HAVING ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : GONE UNDER THE KNIFE ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
"By my calculations, I haven't gone to sleep before midnight on any given
night, regardless of what time I had to be awake the following morning, since I
had my surgery.
"God, that's weird.
"...or is it? Perhaps my surgery actually _explains_ my insomnia.
"Perhaps, while anaesthized and oblivious to that which went on out- and even
INside my own body, a tiny microchip was implanted in my brain (presumably via
my nostrils...close scalp examinations have revealed no detectable surgical
scars whatsoever [much to my chagrin, might i add]) which detected drowsiness
in my system and promply overrode my bodily functions, ordering my brain and
hormones to secrete chemicals such as adrenalin in order to keep me awake!
"If that's the case, then there's no wonder why I'm always so nervous and
paranoid all of the time, or why i shake constantly!" said Pat, at 1:00 on a
Thursday morning, at a twenty four hour restaurant, while drinking coffee by
the potful.
"There's just no other logical explanation."
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | DAN LOWDER'S EDU- ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : CATIONIAL CORNER. ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
this marks the first installment of DAN LOWDER'S EDUCATIONAL CORNER, a semi-
informative segment of ENTROPY in which my roommate, dan lowder, will offer
some of his vast intelligence (involuntarily) via his class notes, which have
been stolen and subsequently typed out for your benefit by me.
this installment of DAN LOWDER'S EDUCATIONAL CORNER features a page of notes,
typed entirely verbatim, from dan's "severe and unusual weather" class.
any questions, comments, or discrepancies may be adressed directly to dan at
lowder@uiuc.edu.
NOW GET YOUR LEARN ON.
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
www.wunderground.com
_millibars_:
14.7 lb/iný = 29.92 in Hg = 1013.25 mb
in Hg ³ mb
32.01 ³ 1084 - Highest sea level pressure ever (siberia) recorded
30.86 ³ 1045 - High pressure
29.92 ³ 1013 - Normal
28.94 ³ 980 - Low pressure
25.70 ³ 870 - Lowest sea level pressure ever recorded (typhoon)
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³ 135ø F - 2ND - DEATH VALLEY, CA (1936) ³
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ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Dan and I hope that this helps.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | DRINKING COFFEE MAKES ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : YOU A GOD AMONG MEN. ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
yeah, i drink a lot of coffee. it sort of runs in my family. over the years,
i've noticed many benefits to this noble habit. observe:
1.) IT MAKES YOU SMARTER.
now coffee has not directly made me into an overnight Einstein. however,
caffiene is a stimulant. stimulants increase bloodflow. as your bloodflow in-
creases, your brain recieves more oxygen. as your brain recieves more oxygen,
it gets happier.
coincidentally, i drink coffee while doing homework. i'm a lot more recep-
tive to knowledge, given that i've got a HAPPY BRAIN.
not only does coffee assist my comprehension, but it also aids in my reading
speed, as my eyes dart uncontrollably across the page.
2.) IT MAKES YOU MORE PRODUCTIVE.
coffee is the antidote for sleep. sleep is nothing more than a monumental
waste of time (read "sleep = waste", found in adrian tomine's collection
_sleepwalk_, for further details). a sleeping human can accomplish far more
than can a sleeping human, i.e.:
HOMEWORK
READING
SITTING ON IRC, WATCHING OTHERS WHO ARE ASLEEP IDLE
MASTURBATION
and so on.
3.) IT MAKES YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE TO THE OPPOSITE SEX.
sit at a restaurant. watch the coffee-drinking loner (there's always at least
one, provided you don't go to nice restaurants) and all the beautiful women who
approach him. it's utterly inspiring.
for example, just last night, a girl came up to me and asked the tell-all
question:
"are you straight?" (referring to sexual orientation.)
shit, i'm fucking irresistable.
4.) YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT INTERESTING "WAR STORIES" TO TELL
not a day goes by in which you don't hear some zany story about someone's ex-
periences while under the influence of caffiene.
oh, wait. that's alcohol.
never mind.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | HINTS ON GETTING ALONG ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : WITH PAT HAJDUCH - ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù FOR GIRLS . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
now, some of you may be concerned with your ability to maintain a long-term
friendship or relationship with me. hence, i have drawn up this convenient
list of what to (and not to) do in order to remain my compadr, as it were.
1.) TALK TO ME. I CANNOT READ YOUR FUCKING MIND
note that i say talk "TO" me, and not "TALK TO PEOPLE WHO WILL CONVOLUTE AND
FUCK UP YOUR MESSAGE AND DELIVER IT TO ME IN SOME 6TH GRADE, TELEPHONE-TREE
SORT OF MANNER". things to come DIRECTLY TO ME about include:
WANTING TO BREAK UP WITH ME
FALLING IN LOVE / BEING ATTRACTED TO ME
THINKING THAT I HATE YOU
WANTING TO KILL YOURSELF WHILE GOING OUT WITH ME (SEE FOOTNOTE)
and so on. you know - important shit. some messages are acceptable for
inter-acquaintance transfer: for example, it is your annoying friend's birth-
day.
this brings me to point #2:
2.) LEAVE YOUR STUPID, ANNOYING FRIENDS AT HOME
this is pointed more towards girls who fit in the "relationship" category, but
is generally a rule of thumb, seeing as i probably don't like your friends
(provided i wasn't friends with them before we met).
see, YOU AND I are hanging out - not YOU, ME AND AT LEAST ONE CLINGY, CHATTY
IDIOT WHOSE PRESENCE I CLEARLY RESENT. i probably ditched MY friends to hang
out with you; hence, don't allow your moron tag-alongs to come out with us.
3.) DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
this is inevitably a tragic situation, and one you'd rather not touch. you
may think i'm "THE ONE" or what have you, but trust me:
I'M NOT.
YOU MADE A MISTAKE.
however, these tragedies do occur, and when they do, please refer to point #1.
furthermore...
4.) IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH ME, AND IT'S NOT REALLY RECIPROCATED
(i.e. we're not even going out, we went out and broke up already, etc.)
THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT
seriously. cut your losses, i'll still try to be your goddamned friend; act-
ually, in many cases i'd rather be your friend than your mate in the first
place. i'm not the only guy in the world.
HEAR THAT? I'M NOT THE ONLY GUY IN THE WORLD
okay. now repeat that to yourself until it gets into your fucking head.
5.) IF I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, THEN LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
it's really not that hard. if i say that i want to be by myself (i'm tired,
i'm pissed off, or what have you), i probably mean it. this means:
YOU CAN'T FOLLOW ME HOME FROM WORK AND SUBSEQUENTLY BEG FOR ME TO LET
YOU INTO MY HOUSE UNDER THE GUISE OF "JUST WANTING TO TALK" AND SUBSEQ-
UENTLY GUILT-TRIP ME INTO FUCKING YOU.
YOU SHOULDN'T SHOW UP PLACES THAT YOU KNOW I GO TO IN ORDER TO BE
ALONE. I AM OBVIOUSLY THERE IN ORDER TO BE __ALONE__.
IF I'M AT HOME, DON'T CALL ME EVERY TEN MINUTES TO RE-ASK ME TO COME
OUT. DON'T SHOW UP AT MY DOOR WITH CUTESY LITTLE GIFTS, EITHER. I
WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE - HAD I WANTED TO BE PERPETUALLY PESTERED AND
IRRITATED, I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR THAT, INSTEAD.
and finally:
6.) DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR PERSONAL PSYCHOLOGIST, BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING
BASKETCASE MYSELF.
this is pretty self-explanatory.
watch out with this one, because if you come to me for help, you'll probably
wind up more fucked up than you were in the first place.
* FOOTNOTE: i mention telling me if you feel like killing yourself "while we're
going out." keep it to yourself if we don't hang out anymore; don't turn into
some sort of melodramatic weirdo. nobody appreciates that.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | EVERY AUTHOR WANTS NO- ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : THING MORE THAN TO BE ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù PUBLISHED. . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
the following text is a letter i wrote in my creative writing class.
first, let me tell you that my creative writing class was the most shameful
nonsense ever to be labeled "creative" (and this includes bot Dave Matthews AND
Sinbad). my teacher was one of the most wrathful, vengeant she-demon i've ever
encountered. (well...)
regardless, we were required as an assignment to write a query letter and art-
icle for any given magazine and were REQUIRED TO SUBMIT IT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
obviously enough, my query letter (i never got around to writing the actual
article) flew out to the largest source of hip-hop news on the planet, THE
SOURCE. observe:
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
NEIL O'FLANAGAN
EDITOR
THE SOURCE
Neil -
A tall, green MC steps up to the mic. "One, two," he calls out. From there
begins a soulful, bootylicious evening - as hosted by the Photosynthetic MCs.
Over the last few years, rap's biggest new underground talents have come not
from the Earth's fauna, but rather from it's flora. Plant rappers, such as the
"gangsta" styled solo MC Venuz Fly-Trapp to hip-hop supergroup the Intergal-
actic Cactus Connection, bring their mean, green styles like none other.
I propose a 3,000 word article documenting the rise of hip-hop amongst vege-
tation - including local scene reports, rising stars, and record labels - such
as Los Angeles' Pesticide Studios.
I am a high-school student and experienced liar. My talent at fabrication of
entirely idiotic concepts knows no bounds.
I hope to hear from you soon!
Fondly,
Pat Hajduch
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
POST-SCRIPT: neither the source, nor its fictional editor Neil O'Flanagan, ever
gave any sort of response whatsoever. on top of that, my creative writing
teacher practically failed me in what was commonly known as a "grade booster"
class.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | WITNESS, AS MY POETIC ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : FINESSE MANIFESTS IT- ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù SELF. . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
Hi.
I haven't written anything in a long while.
So, anyhow, to follow a tradition begun years ago with Warpus' incredible Warp
Zine, I present to you, the reader: FUNNY POETRY!
HAIKU #1
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Hi, My name's Jesus!
This haiku was really built
around the first line.
A POLITE REQUEST
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
"Please, guys, just leave me alone,"
said Pauly Shore
while being kicked in the face
HAIKU #2
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Gentle waves wash me
along the sunny shoreline.
Being sand is gay
HAIKU #3 (THE HUMBLE BEGINNINGS OF THE JACKSON FIVE)
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
A humble Gary,
(Tito, go fetch me a switch)
Indiana home.
IN DEFENSE OF A NOBLE LIFESTYLE
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
"Please,
tough looking drunk guys.
Don't beat me up
just because I choose
to dress
like a woman."
HAIKU #4
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
I stand, majestic.
I'll stomp your fucking ass, 'cause
i'm an elephant
HAIKU #5
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
By the liquor store,
kicking dope-ass freestyles with
my man, the RZA.
HAIKU #6
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
"I'm way too god-damned
old to be worthwhile," said Bob
Dole, gun to his head
HAIKU #7
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
You are mistaken.
Despite your statements, the han-
dicapped ARE funny.
HAIKU #9
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
In countless houses,
in homes across the nation,
props are being kicked.
PLANET REEBOK
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Life is short -
End it now.
...Thank you.
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | OBLIGATORY FUNNY ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : QUOTES SECTION ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
We've all seen it before: the art scene magazine standard, the "random quotes"
section. However, I'm going to break format a bit.
First off, these aren't IRC quotes (unless I manage to find some). They're
real-life quotes which I happened to write down.
Second off, I am not your ordinary art scene magazine writer. I am an egoma-
niacal spastic with a dream. Hence, approximately ninety percent of the quotes
herein will be my own, primarily due to the fact that I'm funnier and generally
more interesting than everyone I know or meet.
Anyhow, here goes.
"Funny quotes."
Oh, god.
ùùù
"I've never been mooned by a girl. I fancy I'd commence masturbating im-
mediately."
- Me
ùùù
"It's my unalienable right to hate everyone I see."
- Me, in halls of school
NOTE: The above quotes are from an old journal and a different, more cynical
Pat. Proceed as normal.
ùùù
"People's opinions give me a headache."
- Me
ùùù
"You make lepers sound like zombies."
- Me, to friend Tom
ùùù
"That's different; that's date rape.
She was asking for it."
- My friend, Brett
ùùù
"The key to being prolific in your creativity lies in lowering your standards
to the point of non-existance."
- Me
ùùù
"There are two things you can do here [The University of Illinois] in order to
have fun on the weekends:
You can drink, or you can leave."
- Me
ùùù
"ROAR."
- Gigantic mutant bear
ÉÍÏÏÏÏÏÍ»
ÉÍÍÍÄÄ-Ä- - ³³³³³³ ÚÁÄ×ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ×ÄÁ¿ ³³³³³³
³ © ' ` ` ÚÁÁÁÁÁÁÄÅÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÅÄÁÁÁÁÁÁ¿
; ù ENTROPY #1 | ù | ù| |ù | ù | I DON'T NEED TO TAKE ` ù
ù . : ; : ;: :; : ; : THIS; SCREW YOU, I'M ' ;
ù | ù |ù ù| ù | ù GOING HOME . . , ` ³
ÀÂÂÂÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÂÂÂÙ - Ä-ÄÄÄÄÍÍͼ
³³³ ÀÄÂÂÂÂÂÂÂÄÙ ³³³
That's about it.
We are currently on line 580, according to Sinned Soul's calculations as dis-
played at the top of the ACiD Draw editor screen.
(Note: for every mention I make to ACiD Productions [or pHluid, Remorse 1981,
www.acid.org, ACiD Productions Gear {new hoodies out soon!!!}, the RadCam web
site, the ACiD Artpacks Archive, or any other ACiD Productions - related pro-
ject], RaD Man [ACiD Productions' founder] has agreed to pay me a small adver-
tisement fee for a "product placement" of sorts. "It's all about getting rec-
ognition, and having the ACiD Productions name out there," says the modest-yet-
ruggedly-handsome Christian Wirth. "I mean, without advertisement, who would
even remember us as the people behind the wildly popular ANSI/ASCII/XBIN/BIN/
VGA viewer, ACiDView?" I encouraged him; he was drunk at the time. And my
lawyer informs me that regardless of blood alcohol content, a legal binding
contract remains as such.)
So, in conclusion, I say this: thank you for paying attention, loyal reader.
I really appreciate the fact that you read all of this, even though I probably
managed to personally insult you on several levels repeatedly (often sublimin-
ally, might I add).
I figure that you're a thin-skinned Nancy-boy enough that you'll be too much
of a femme to say anything to my face, anyhow.
See you next time!
HAJI.
hajduch@uiuc.edu