CRUSADERS PRESENT BASS-O-MATIC Press arrowkeys up/down to scroll text Press HELP for Menu and Controls -------------------------------------------------------- Hoe Hoe Hoe... what have we got in the bag for YOU? YES, it's another one of those swinging-and-a-swaying- and-a-hoppin-and-a-boppin music disks from the ever so adorable C R U S A D E R S This one is curiously enough titled: ========================= B A S S - O - M A T I C ========================= \\\ >>---(oo)---> /C \ /___/\ \ U / >__< ~~ \/ ~~ And as ever, we follow the tradition and give you some kickass beats from Dr.Awesome and Fleshbrain, some light entertainment, this time in the shape of El Cubo's cute Bass-Invaders game, some strips with our favourite cartoon character (keypad 4 and 6 to change strip!), and a text output instead of a scroller, so you can read at your own speed and so you can actually read for more than 30 seconds without getting seasick or turning into a drooling vegetable. Hi to Prologic, who also used this kind of text output on their music disk #1. *************************************************** Bass-o-matic contains the following songs: F1) BOP TILL YOU FLOP - DR.AWESOME - 06:33 - DISK 1 F2) OBSCURE SEASON - FLESHBRAIN - 05:13 - DISK 1 F3) SIDEWALK STRUT - DR.AWESOME - 03:04 - DISK 1 F4) JAMBUG - FLESHBRAIN - 05:27 - DISK 2 F5) BUD PECULIAR - DR.AWESOME - 06:39 - DISK 2 F6) GHAZA - DR.AWESOME - 02:49 - DISK 2 F7) GROUND ZERO - FLESHBRAIN - 05:24 - DISK 1 F8) FIRE ON HIGH - DR.AWESOME - 06:20 - DISK 2 F9) BASS KETBALL - DR.LONESOME- 02:11 - DISK 2 F0) CHROM ATOM - FLUSHDRAIN - 06:26 - DISK 1 1) BINARY NIGHT - FLESHBRAIN - 08:55 - DISK 2 2) GAZER - FLESHBRAIN - 05:22 - DISK 2 *************************************************** Ok, let's hear the credits: Design/Concept....................Switchblade/Dr.Awesome Music..............................Fleshbrain/Dr.Awesome Main Code....................................Switchblade Bass Invaders and loader code....................El Cubo Bass-o-graphics (intro)..........................Bustman Additional main sreen gfx....................Switchblade Scanned graphics (Calvin)............................Zeb This text.....................................Dr.Awesome ASCII drawings - special guest star......Wiseguy/Triumph Boy were a lot of guys involved this time! Gone are the good old days when a couple of guys sat right down in front of the Amiga and didn't get out of the chair until the product was finished! Nevertheless - the more, the merrier!! (Which reminds me, that's the same thing a girl said to me once, but that's a different story, wink wink ;-) ) __ /__\ |(oo)| Arf... tune me in to that groOOOOve... /C \ /___/\ \ U / >__< \/ After the credits, there's usually some personal greetings and stuff. I know that you see, because this isn't my first scrolltext. It's not my second either in fact. So here's your BIG chance to have your name mentioned in this text, as we're about to generously send away personal greetings to every corner of the world (except maybe Mozambique, known for their tremendous modem scene (Hi Razor and CRB)). :-) -------------------------------------------------------- DR.AWESOME WANTS TO SAY HI TO: -------------------------------------------------------- Martyn "Spadge" Brown Yes you got to be first, aren't you lucky? :*) Tobias Richter - you're the best in the biz. Vad (Vadder Vaddest), Andy & the third guy who's name I can't remember, but he's the one with the pen up his nose. Steve "Havok the Hammock" The Motion mob (Bud, Outrage, Devil, Basse, Mastermind, Lace and the rest of those dooz) Next, to my following good friends: Andre Schelker Tony Fonanger Grant Ovenden Big Al / Ecstacy Sakari Hannula Ezy / Ecstacy Allister Brimble Andrew Barnabas Ann & Stefan Andreas Korzinsky Kim Pedersen Ron Fonteine TSR/Powers of Pain All members of Crusaders, especially our new freaky deaks, Scumbag and Silencer. Amiga Freelancers (Anders, Lars, Rune, and "I-cant- remember-his-name" The Moose) with great big thanks for ProTracker, and good luck with your first commercial project. The SysOps of these BBS's: Zirkonium - Mediafoto - Golden Power - Styx Some greets to my favourite musicians: Maestro/Flash Prod - Tip/Phenomena Jesper Kyd/Silents - Uncle Tom - Firefox/Phenomena and of course -- > Sir Fleshbrain And finally, a very big, \\\ long, and suspiciously cosy (oO) hug to Patsy/Brainstorm. /C \ (What are you doing this /__/\\ weekend, sugarlump?) \\__// >_U< (By the way, I heard you had been ~~ \/ ~~ Alex an eye.. way to go Alex!) :-) ------------------------------------------------------- BUSTMAN WANTS TO SAY HI TO: ------------------------------------------------------- ...his good friends: Flemming Vestergaard Robert Ling Per Carlsson Alan Rogers Frode Fredriksen ------------------------------------------------------- SILENCER WANTS TO SAY HI TO: ------------------------------------------------------- Everyone who calls my board! Thanks for making it such a cool place to hang out! All members of the ASC! All Crusaders, especially the ones who own modems! Hi guys! Storm/Divina - Nice chats dude! . SCSI/Betrayal - Told ya! .: . Hermann Rorschach - Cool Tunes! (\/\/) Necromancer/KrionyX - VMB dude?! >>---(oO)---> Presto - What a bunch of uploads! /C \ Juxta - Hi there, get a car! :-) /___/\ Lord Jagged - Got some codes man?! Hickup\ U / Venom - Good luck with yer board! >__< C|~| / \/ \//| | All the cool 415 SysOps... // T|\/ === Andeveron, Prokem, Warehouser //____| and Master Blaster... >---(oo)---> half of the effect-commands, and | /C \ it falls behind on speed and | / \ comfort, something which is very | \ - / important to a musician - you're | >__< supposed to spend your time and | \/ concentration on the music, not | on looking through a hundred ---------------------- menus. For MIDI and/or synthesized sounds I will recommend MED 3.00, but for samples only, Protracker offers the most powerful effect commands and fast and easy editing. Most the sound digitizing is also done in ProTracker's own sampler-screen. It offers basically the same functions and sample-handling options as Audiomaster 2, but where Audiomaster uses 2-10 seconds on an operation, ProTracker does it instantly. In addition, ProTracker has the "Boost" and "Filter" functions, and now that I have them, I can't see how I could ever live without them. A couple of "boosts" can do wonders with a dull snare or hihat. The hardware I use is an Alcotini | \\\ stereo sound sampler. I chose this | [GURU] sampler because it has a different | /C \ and better kind of A/D (analogue to | /___ \ digital) converter than most other | ??? \ U \/ digitizers. One drawback is that | >__< it needs to be plugged into both | ~~ \/ ~~ the parallel and the serial ports, but this is because the mentioned A/D converter needs 12 volts instead of just 5 volts like most other digitizers. And the 12 volts can be found on the serial port only. As mentioned, it is a stereo digitizer, but I always use it in mono mode. When making music, you have no need for stereo samples - if there had been a mono model of the Alcotini, it would probably have been cheaper, and I would have bought that. The samples (sounds) come from here and there - most of them have been digitized from different synthesizers, a few from various CD's, and a few are sampled by other musicians, and I have ruthlessly ripped them.. Just like a lot of you are going to do with the ones I have sampled. Which brings me to think - what on earth makes musicians do such a thing as to rip off ALL the samples from ONE song, and just rearranging the song with exactly the same samples?? It sort of pizzes me off when people do this to my songs - sure, ripping an instrument here and an instrument there is perfectly ok, I don't mind that, but when you take ALL the samples from one of my songs and just write some new patters, that makes me sort of.. pizzed. The latest couple of examples on this are my songs "Space Deliria" and "Tranze Seven", so many times ripped to pieces, that the samples from these songs have now been used more than the original ST-01 samples! I think I know the procedure.. load my module into ProTracker, select "Clear Patterns", and start writing some new patters without so much as touching the instrument setup.. Oh and maybe the drums-track, which some people don't even bother changing at all! I think the first one to do this with "Space Deliria" was Dr.Feelgood of Cave, and after that it's been done by many many others. As for "Tranze Seven" it's been even worse, I think only here in Norway, there's been made at least 10 songs using the exact same instrument setup and rhythm pattern. Ok, a couple of the samples in "Tranze Seven" were ripped by me in the first place, but most of them weren't, and none of them from the same song. Hmm I hope the next version of ProTracker comes without the "Clear Patterns" option. At \\\ | least it would mean that these (oo) | leeches would have to do a bit more /C \ | work... Don't misunderstand me - I / \ | don't mean to slag off everyone who \ - / | rips some instruments, but I don't >__< | want any more of this "Let's rip ALL ~~ \/ ~~ | the instruments from that song and | rearrange the patterns" business. Ok, after that little moaning and groaning, we go on with a bit more about each of the songs.. I can really only tell you about my own songs, because I don't watch over Fleshbrain's shoulder when he's at it. The tune "BOP TILL YOU FLOP" was made in a hurry... It's been a long time since I last completed a song in less than 24 hours, but this was the case with this one. I guess it was because when I started on it, I hadn't made anything at all in about 2-3 weeks, so it just poured out. Bop Till You Flop is the one and only song on this disk where ALL the samples were custom made for this song only. All instruments were digitized while I made the song. The drums were sampled from the CD "Big Generator" by Yes. The speech samples are of course Dan Aykroyd in his "Super Bass-o-matic '76" sketch. The bass was sampled from my newest PCM sound card on the Roland U110, and all the rest of the sounds were created on a Korg DW8000 synthesizer and then sampled from there. "SIDEWALK STRUT" is a strange piece - I _ _ have to admit that this song is not }\/{ completely my own composition, some parts >>---(oo)---> of it are very much like a song done by /C \ Chick Corea and his "Electric Band". The /___/\ weird synth samples in the start of the \V V / song are also from this song. All this >__< is mixed with about 50% of my own ~~ \/ ~~ material. "BASS KETBALL".. well what is there to say about this one..? Hmmm it's really just a joke - somehow we had to fill up the two disks, right? I did this one in a couple of hours. "GHAZA" - getting moody here... This was thought of as some sort of movie-like atmostpheric and romantic piece. The samples are from a Kawai K4 and (as ever) the Roland U110. \\\ "BUD PECULIAR" is on that more or less \\\ follows the style of "Bop Till You \\\, Flop", although Bud Peculiar was made ##- first (so I guess it's the other way Dig! /C \ around, really...). What kind of music /___/\ is this anyway? Hmm to be honest, I \ U / don't know.. you tell me! If anyone >__< finds out what kind of music this is, \/ please do contact me and let me know! I used quite a lot of time on this one, polishing the details for a couple of weeks. Most of the samples are from the Roland D-50. The flickbass is from the Roland U-110, and the filtered bass is from the Korg DW8000. I got the snare from Kim Pedersen, thanks dude, what a powerful snare it is too! "FIRE ON HIGH" - Not much to say about this one really. There's an acoustic 12-string guitar in there which is quite new in ProTracker music, at least I haven't heard it before. My favourite part is the "bridge" about 4 minutes into the song. Most of the samples are from the Roland U110. - - - Guess what - it's time again for some general smalltalk! The thing is, I've got all the time in the world to sit here and write, but I haven't got the slightest thing to write about. Guess I'll just pladder on for a while. I overslept pretty badly this morning, you see, so I have to be at work till late, and what better way to spend a working day than writing silly and meaningless scrolltexts? All due credit must go to Share and Enjoy here, the fella(s) who wrote the scrolltext for "Amazing Tunes 2" Or was it 3?... Anyway, superb scrolltext guys. I'm looking forward to some more of them. Good job also from the musician who made the very first tune on this 3-disk music disk, I think the tune was called "Swift" or something like that... Anyways, this song was no less than /// bloody brilliant - when will there >>---(oo)---> be some more??? I also liked the /C'\ Spectrum font - it brought back a / ' \ lot of good memories, shit it almost \ o / Sniff had me weeping all over my keyboard >__< and getting myself electricuted! ~~ \/ ~~ So what do y'all think of our cute little Bass Invaders game, eh? Not to brag of course, but I think it's utterly fab myself. :-) Naturally, we had to call it "Bass Invaders" in order to avoid lawsuit by the guys behind Space Invaders (TM) - although they're probably all dead and forgotten by now - that game is ancient! Who remembers that really old version, where the colours were just strips of tape placed on the glass over the monitor? Hehe, those were the days! Of course, if you want to, you can make your own colour-version of Bass Invaders too - just go and ask mom for some coloured tape or even cellofan paper. Or use the red/green glasses you bought at the Lillestrom-party to watch CRB and Exit's 3D demos, cut them up (the glasses, not CRB and Exit) and get a friend to hold the red and green pieces in front of the monitor while you play. For those of you who are wondering what the hell :-) and :-( and stuff like that are suddenly doing in the middle of a sentence, well I'm not going to tell you. Try buying a hint-book from Whats-their-name-Larry-Company and look for it there, or call up any good BBS and get the answer there. I hate to say this but I am in fact typing this on a PC :-( because that's all I have access to here. To be more precise, it's an AST Premium 386SX/16. If that doesn't tell you all that much, then you're one of the lucky guys, because it means that you never had to deal with it. Of course, I could borrow an Intergraph 3D CAD workstation, but being developed for designing oil rigs, I don't think it's very suitable for scrolltext- writing.. Strange... this company has all these superfancy computers, but I've yet to see a single demo or music disk released. I'm sure they could sell some copies and make a nice little income, like all the PD distributors do. I think I'll go to my boss tomorrow and suggest that we start a demo-writing department here. I wonder what he'll have to say about it... probably "uhum.." or "You're fired for smoking weed at work". Well it's worth a try, innit? I'd like to remind all Norwegian | freaks (and the others too, for | \\\ that matter) that this summer you | >>---(oo)---> will have the chance to see the | /C \ Crusaders live in concert, | / \ playing some kick-ass rock'n'roll | \ . / at our annual out-door gig | >__< somewhere near Oslo, Norway. The | ~~ \/ ~~ band is called "Random" and | consists mostly of Crusaders, or | to be more exact: --------------------- Dr.Outtasight - Lead vocals El Cubo - Guitar & additional vox. Dr.Awesome - Drums / Percussion Dr.Shitface - Keyboards Sten Beck - Bass Guitar As you can see, a hilarious band setup, this is an obvious disaster (Hi Phenomena), but nevertheless it will be great fun as usual. Everyone is welcome of course, and what's so great about it is that it doesn't cost anything - all you have to do is bring yer own beer. So don't miss this event folks, it will take place sometime in June or July. For more information, read our future scrollers, or follow the development in the EuroNews! Gee, I wonder if there are more Simpsons fans out there, or am I the only one?!? The Simpsons are just so adorable, I think I'll vote Homer Simpson for President! And Marge for Secretary of State or something.. Another favourite show of mine is Saturday Night Live, but these days we can't get it anywhere.. :-( All the stations we take down are European, I'm afraid - I don't think Saturday Night Live is on the European MTV anymore either! Baah.. Don't you all just love those old-time classics with Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray and John Belushi? Well I certainly do - not to mention the Church Lady of course. Who saw the one where the Church Lady played drums and Danny DeVito sang "Santa's coming tonight" ?!? Was that fucking great or what???? Not to mention "The Bastard Batallion"... or Dan Aykroyd in the "Dragnet" parody when he goes "The story you are about to witness, is true - only the facts have been changed.." And now for something completely different... Somebody told me I should include "The History of The Crusaders" in this scroller.. ok here goes: We formed Crusaders in 1988. Then different stuff happened. And now we're here, with Bass-o-matic. Right, that's as far as I will go with the history of Crusaders, as I find it utterly boring, and I'm sure you all would too.. Tell me honestly, when you're looking through a diskmag, how many of you read articles that start with "This is the history of our cool group!". I should think somewhere between 0.02 and 0.05 percent of you... That's why you should read the EuroNews, cos that's the mag where you will find only the interesting parts, and without all the boring stuff in between! Does anybody know when the E.C.E.S. show is this year? We gotta go this year too, the show itself was shitty last year but we had a great time nevertheless, thanks to some friendly fellas from Ecstacy, Pizza Hut, the sandwich cafe down the road and of course the 32 oz steaks we had up in Yorkshire. Somebody told me there will be a | \||/ conference held in London at the | >>---(oo)---> same time the ECES (by the way | /C \ is it ECES or CES ???) is going | / __/\ on. If whoever's arranging that | He he \ U / conference is reading this (of | ___>__<____ course, I know who that is but | | \/ | I'm not allowed to tell you, | | /\ . | see?), make sure you set it up | | /\ \ | | for the public days - that way | | /\ \ \|/ we can have the trade days at | | \ \ \/ the show and then "retire" to | | _\ \/ your guys' conference on the | |/ \/ public days, when the show will | | be nothing but a pit full of | 10-year-olds screaming for the | .: the szoot suit :. latest games anyway. |---------------------- We were there for about 15 minutes on the first of the public days last year and it was absolutely *terrible*! Well, now I think it's time for a commercial break! ======================================================== A D V E R T I S E I N T H E E U R O N E W S ======================================================== From now on, it costs hard cold hard cash to advertise in the EuroChart/EuroNews - but don't despair, because it's really cheap! An ad can be 38 characters wide, 22 lines tall, and here's what it costs: ======================================================== 1 ad 3 ads ---- ----- Norwegian Kroner...........20........50 Swedish Kroner.............20........50 Danish Kroner..............20........50 Finnish Marks..............15........40 German Marks................5........12 UK Pounds...................2.........5 US Dollars..................4........10 ======================================================== See? That's not all that bad, is it? ======================================================== Send the ad(s) and the cash to: EuroChart P.O.Box 45 1474 Nordbyhagen NORWAY ======================================================== For those of you who are waiting for the results from the Crusaders EuroChart Hot Sister Competition, the reaction to our competition has been very good indeed, so we will release a separate special issue of The Gallery - a special Hot Sister issue. Boy have we got some great pictures to print - wait for it guys! I never knew so many freaks out there had so gorgeous sisters, I myself have fallen in love at least 5 times since we launched the competition, and now I want to know if it is possible for any of you guys with those wonderful sisters to set up a couple of dates for me.. hehe. Ah there was one from France who was absolutely irresistable - I'm coming over!! Anyway, we are still | /// collecting new pictures every | (oo)\ day, so maybe we will wait | /c \\\ for a while and then release | /___/\\\ the Hot Sister Special on 1 or | \ U / 2 disks. I don't know exactly | >__< when it will be released, but | \/ it will probably be some time | HotSister-91 in May or June. It's not too | late to send pictures, guys! So here I am, still at work.. shit, I wish I could get my act together and learn to get my sleepy ass out of bed in the morning! If I had got up early today, I could have been at home by now. Oh well, I guess it's not really that bad. Some music helps on the mood - right now I'm listening to "Losing it" by Rush, and it's bloody good! It goes: "Some are born to rule the world, to live their fantasies.." Well I don't know who that might be, but it sure as hell isn't me - with me ruling the world, it would be a fine mess.. First of all I would have free synths for everyone - then I would have 80% girls in the world, so every guy could have a few of them :-) Naah stop it Doc, before the local sexism fighting red-sock meeting-women come and get you.. Hmm isn't it strange that the girls are always complaining that they're so discriminated etc. and they want to be treated like guys in every possible way - but when it comes to things that guys have to do, and they don't, that's where their quest for equality stops! Like military service for instance. Also, isn't it strange that if somebody should make a magazine or something especially for men, then it's sexism and discrimination and oppression of \\\ | women and all that - but if someone (oO) | makes a magazine for women, nobody /C \ | ever complains. Here in Norway a /~~\ \ | few months ago, there was a big \ / | company holding what was known as a >__< | "Gentlemen's dinner", a traditional \/ | party they have been holding since a hundred years ago -well this year of course the women had to start screaming. "IIIK! They're holding a dinner and we can't come! Sexist pigs!!!". That's just the sort of thing that makes me wonder, you know.. I'm convinced that if it was a "Ladies' dinner" nobody would have said a word, because they would only say that "Oh us women are so undermined today that we have to get together and talk about it. And don't try to stop us, sexist pigs!". I guess no matter what we do we'll always be sexist pigs, guys.. So when it all adds up, when you think about it, it is really the men who are oppressed and discriminated today! By the way, what an utterly stupid thing to talk about in a scrolltext! Let's talk about something nice instead. Like for instance the latest \\\ Phenomena demo "Enigma". When it OO ( ) comes to demo-creating, you just /C \ WOW! gotta hand it to those guys.. That /___/\ rotating cube with the filled \ U / vectors, the hidden line vectors >__< and the starfield almost had my \/ eyes popping out of my skull.. -----> What's happening to the demo scene today I think is very positive - demos have got to have a certain amount of design and style these days, which makes demos so much more enjoyable. Remember the good (?) old days when you ran a demo and everything just popped up on the screen at once.. you had 10 scrollers, 80 bobs, rasterbars in all directions, colourcycling, vectors, all of it in one big ugly looking chaos. Luckily, the term "design" has entered the demo scene and now a demo is often great to watch for 15-20 minutes, while say a couple of years ago, you would watch a demo for no more than 10 seconds. Mind you, it's not so strange that people did it that way back then, because whenever there was a democompetition going on, the arrangers would only show each demo for about 15 seconds (!), so if you didn't get it all up on the screen right away, your demo would never be seen! Luckily, that has been changed now. I think the first ever demo to really introduce real "design" to the demos was the legendary RSI Cebit '90 demo. This demo set the trend for the "new look" on demos, which has been followed and further developed by many many groups. Wonder what the demos will be like in another 2 years..? Probably a lot better than they are today, so I think what would be very very smart indeed was to take that megademo you are planning to release in 1993 and release it next week instead! :-) I can't see why nobody has thought of this before..?! Sitting here looking through an | \\\ old issue of Amiga Format, I | [68040] could not help but noticing 3 | /C \ outstandingly smart tips to help | /___/\ the everyday life a bit easier | \ U / for us Amiga owners. Here's | >__< what it says: ~~ \/ ~~ Crap tip 1: Replace the ball of your mouse with a large, well-sucked gobstopper. This not only provides superior traction, but also picks up any stray hairs which may be on your mouse pad. Crap tip 2: Be sure to wear your mother's washing-up gloves when sitting down to a long keyboard session. This will help to prevent your fingers slipping off the keys, thus reducing typnig errord. (I sometimes wear her underwear also, but this is just a personal preference of mine.) Crap tip 3: Stick a two-inch wide piece of masking tape across the top of the screen of your monitor or TV. Then, when that old spoil-sport Mr. Guru Mediation pops up, you are able to carry on undisturbed. Hehe. I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna try them all when I get home (IF I get home today - phew, it sure is getting late! And not only am I still up - I'm still at work..) Well at least today is Friday, for the next 48 hours I will not give a shit about what time it is. It's always a bit of a problem when Monday morning comes though, because during the weekend, I have turned night and day completely upside down, so going to bed Sunday night is no use, as my poor disoriented body will think it's the middle of the day. Well somehow I always manage to get through the mondays anyway - it's really just a matter of getting enough coffee. Yyyyaaaaawwn... I think I'll just go home \\\ now, and continue this scroller there. I've (--) got some Baccardi somewhere - think I'll /C_\ have myself a tiny little one of those.. // \\ On the way home, I'll stop and buy the latest \\__// Amiga Format... See you all back there... >__< ~~ \/ ~~ (Pause here while Dr.Awesome gets home, eats a couple of sandwiches and poures himself a Coke and Baccardi (hereafter referred to as C/B..)) . Wheee! And here I am! Did you miss | : . me? I sure missed you lot.. wait a | \\\. second while I go get another C/B, | >>---(Oo)---> will you? (... ... ... ... ...) | /C \ Well, it's now 01:35, I'm just | /___/\ getting in the mood for some serious | hihi \ U / scrolltext-writing. My hands are | >__< c\~/ hurting a little though, so far today | / \/ \// | I've written about 35 kb (hey that ~~~ must mean that YOU have READ 35 kb!) of scrolltext, that's not something you would do everyday, is it? Hihihi you know, I just got this gryyyeat idea...! Why not include a little bit of the scroller from our REALLY old music disk "Audio X"? hmmm, but then again, why do? I don't even know whether I have it anymore... Naaah! Getouttahere... there must be SOMETHING I can write about? What's the world record in scrolltexts anyway? I have now written (checking checking) just a little over 36kb.. (Hold on... another C/B...) Ah now I know... hmm, no, on second thought, forget it.. It's this jazz that does it you know - right now I'm listening to John Scofield's "Blue Matter", and it's.. it's.... freakydeaky..! The record belongs to one Mr.Techno/Abusive who's sitting beside me here, more or less telling me what to write.. I'm just taping it... Oh my God, I'm illegally taping music here - I sure hope BJ won't come and pull my private parts... Am I getting paranoid or what? Well anyway, where was I? Ah, the jazz.. | \\\ yes, it's SO nice - tell you | >>---(oo)---> |~ what, if you need to calm down, | /C \ o| |~ if you need some serious massage | /___/\ o| (know what I mean?), all you | O| \ U / have to do is go to your | | >__< favourite record store | ~ \/ (reckastow) and buy John | Scofield's "Blue Matter". ---------------------- Ok, enough of this kind of crap.. now over to some other kind of crap! You know, I heard this great joke the other day.. but I don't know if it's suitable for this music disk - Ron F. told me, no rude language.. well hmmm should I tell you the joke or not..? Naah I think I'll pass - there must be some other good jokes around.. Like "why did the chicken cross the road?" - because 4 hungry Ethiopians came running after it.. Hihi, we just made that one up. One more? Ok, ok, one more.. this time: Why did the man cross the road? - Because he was glued to the back of the chicken. And now, methinks it's time for some LIGHT BULB JOKES! Don't you all just love them??!??! Ok, here we go: - How many programmers does it take | \\\ to screw in a light bulb? | >>---(oO)---> - None. It's a hardware problem. | /C \ | /___/\\ - How many MacIntosh owners does | Ack \\ // it take to screw in a light bulb? | Ack \\_// - One. He holds the bulb, and the | >U< world revolves around him. | /\ \ | |\ \/ | - How many light bulbs does it | |_\ \_| take to screw in a potato? | |__\__| - A month. | ------------------- - Erh, how many C/B have I had now..? - A month. Ok ok, I agree, I should cut this crap now, but the thing is you see, that I have nothing else to do - Mr.Techno is using my Amiga, ripping off my instruments collection, El Cubo and Switchblade are coding some kind of shit (I hope they won't read this until after the disk has been released, and then it's too late, hihi), and I'm stuck here with Dr.Outtasight's Amiga, which has no cover, and the insides of it looks like one great big ashtray. And here I am with nothing to do but bore you poor readers with this poor excuse of a scrolltext. Uh, here comes Switchblade to write a few words... A'WRITE!! This is | \\\ Switchblade writing just to | Super (oo) make this scroller a little | Bass-o /C \ bit longer. Dr. Awesome is | Matic! /___/\ terribly bored by writing | __ \ U / ___ over 36000 bytes of text. | / \__> <_/ \ The funny thing is that | \ / BAS \_ /\ those thirty-four-thousand | ( \ O /( ) \ bytes of text doesn't say | ( )\MATIC/ ( ) \ anything at all. Well I | | ) \=o=/ ( | \ guess you readers out there --------------------------- are pretty bored of this text too, since the doc's been telling some of his jokes. On behalf of the Crusaders I must apologise for those jokes. Ya ya, be an asshole. (Who's an asshole?? NOT me!) Right. I think that pretty much wraps it up for now. You lot go ahead and play Bass Invaders for a while, and I'll look through the rest of Mr.Techno's jazz collection here. So I guess I'll see you all in our next music disk, which will of course be titled something just as silly as Bass-o-matic. Right then. Bye! 1 EL CUBO 07500 2 SWITCHBLADE 07499 3 DR.AWESOME 05000 4 FLESHBRAIN 04000 5 BUSTMAN 03000 6 SCUMBAG 02500 7 LAZERBRAIN 02000 8 SILENCER 01500 9 DR.CLAW 01000 10 INTEC 00500 11 DR.OUTTASIGHT 1 50 000250 CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR SCORE IS ONE OF THE BEST TODAY SIGN YOUR NAME IN THE HALL OF FAME! SCORE: - BASS INVADERS: - - 30 POINTS - 20 POINTS - 10 POINTS 50 - 250 INSERT COIN TOP TEN BASS PLAYERS COMING UP: LEVEL 00 DEMO MODE