word up! the crusaders have once again returned to bring you the latest update on the eurochart! this issue was released 1st of january 1990. son't worry, we didn't spend all new-years eve coding but there was some s e r i o u s counting of votes the last few days. It's one hell of a job! this time we counted about 300 votes, coming from absolutely all over the world! (so why the fuck is it called eurochart then ?? actually we don't know! we just think it sounds good, you know. anyway it's much too late to change that now, after the second issue and everything. we have a very important message to give to e v e r y o n e ! if you have a n y telephone numbers to a n y kind of amiga bbs p l e a s e send them to us as soon as you can. all the numbers we get will be included on a disk that will be released in january or february and it will contain most (if not all) available numbers to amiga bbs's of all kinds. if i can find the time i will also try to call as many of the boards as possible to let you know whats good and whats not so good about them. i will also try to update the disk every second month so if you have some numbers, good or not, either send them to me by mail or by modem. my address is (fast) crusaders bbs bregnevn 10a 2007 kjeller norway and again (slowly) c r u s a d e r s b b s b r e g n e v n 1 0 a 2 0 0 7 k j e l l e r n o r w a y if you send me some numbers you will get the disk when it's ready. remember to include your address..... ok let's talk a little about the results this time. As you can see from the charts, there is not much doubt who is considered the best group around : q u a r t e x . no wonder really, they are the fastest and meanest crackers around. quartex will probably end up on top of this list every single time from now till year 2030 so it's really not very exciting to check out number one on this chart - it's more exciting to check out who's number 2 coz that will (most probably) change from issue to issue. ok, about the demo chart, there isn't much doubt there either, who has made the best demo for the amiga: r e d s e c t o r . believe it or not, they got about 80 percent of the votes for their megademo. 80 percent guys - congratulations! well done indeed. ok, check out the rest of the charts yourselves. now, just to fill this scroll with something, we're about to give everyone out there a course in ascii-faces! ascii-faces are very much used in the world of bbs's and telecommunication. by using ascii-faces, you can express certain feelings, states of mind, just by typing 3 or 4 characters. all modem freaks out there will know what we're talking about, so why shouldn't you poor fellas without modems get to know the world of ascii-faces? ok, here goes first lesson: this is a guy who's smiling ------> :-) put your left ear on your left shoulder and you'll see it! great eh? Here it goes again, in case you missed it -----> :-) in the modem world there must be hundreds of different ascii faces, and we'll show you some now and maybe some more next time. ok, this one means: i'm smoking a cigarette ---> :-Q i'm laughing ---> :-D I'm sad ---> :-( i'm angry ---> >:-( i'm shocked/surprised ---> :-o i'm more shocked ---> =8-o i'm santa claus ---> *<:-) i'm puking ---> :-(*) i've been drinking ---> ;-) someone punched my nose ---> :*( i'm wearing sunglasses ---> B-) i'm the invisible man ---> i'm thinking ---> :-/ ok, that's all the ascii faces you will learn this time, and that's also about as much scroller as i'm gonna give you this time so i think i'll just hand the keyboard over to my main man dr.outtasight...... bong smash crash dr. outtasight here ! ok enough of that serious shit. let's get on with the bullshit.......first some of them jokes you have all been waiting for do you know why the chicken crossed the road ? it had to get over to the other side (haha) probably heard that one before, so here's a brand new one an old man came to his doctor and said shit, i have a b i g problem. i have been married for 14 years and my love life has gone down the drain. my wife just doesn't want to make love to me... well, that is a problem, said the doctor. but wait a second, i have some new pills here that might do the trick. so the old man took his pills home and gave his wife a treat with a good dinner and soft music and all the romantic stuff he could think of. his wife was not affected by this at all, as usual. then when it was time to go to bed he dropped some of the pills in his wife's drink. then he thought, if these pills actually work i better take some too so that we can have fun all night long. when they finally got in to bed his wife fell asleep right away without anything unusual happening. shit, thought the old man. the pills didn't work. i better go and tell the doctor in the morning. the night passed by, and in the morning his wife suddenly sat straight up in bed and screamed i want a man !!!! a couple of seconds later the old man stood up and said me too !!! (HAHAHAHAHA) pretty good if i might say so myself. well i have one more joke but it's rather silly..... why did the atari owner cross the street ? because he was glued to the back of the chicken! (Ahahahahrgrhhhaa!) not bad... ok, since that one was soooo good i suggest i give you one more.... once there was this nice looking girl that never had made love to a black guy. and she wanted to real badly. she talked to all her girlfriends and they suggested that she should try a black guy at the local hore-house. so she did and soon they where home in her apartment getting real cosy. the girl had payed a lot of money to get this rather popular black guy home so she wanted to check out his tools. the black fella unzipped his trousers and out fell this very tiny limp of a dick. ohh my god yelled the girl, i thought you black guys had huge dicks. yeah, we have, said the black fella. then he began to snap his fingers and his cock began to grow in front of her eyes. snap , snap , snap , snap it grew and grew. and when it was about 50 cm long the girl screamed oh nooo not more. that's too much for me! no problem said the black guy, and stared clapping. his dick retracted at the sound of the claping. clap , clap , clap . when it was reduced to a more human size the girl told him to stop. this was the right size for her. the girl was actually a bit shy so she told the guy that she had never done it with a black guy before, and didn't know what to do. don't worry he said. you just come over here and sit on my lap and i'll do the rest. you just relax. so she did. but how are we gonna make love when i sit across you like this without making a move she asked. the black guy just smiled. snap , clap , snap , clap , snap , clap , snap , clap ..... hahahhahahahah! i think that one is very nice ! well, that's all the jokes you guys can handle, so you'll have to wait until next time to get more.... well, what more is there to say. i wonder if the greetings are supposed to be included in this scroll. i'll better call dr. awesome to check. wait...ring ring ring hello ? is dr. awesome there. what ? he isn't. where is he ? oh, he's at el cubo's... ok, i'll call him then... ah shit. busy ! probably up to some modem shit again ! let's try again nope still busy. ok, let me just save this and i'll get back when i know more... see ya........................... and now ladies and gentlemen, it's time for what you've all been waiting for - the greetings! ok they are in a-z order and here we go : abandon accession accumulators aces / piranhas action force ahead amiga industries antarctica apache apex avenger avirex axxis aze the band bandidos beyond 2000 bolero bounty the bozz brainstorm the cartel ccs chaos clan clones complex critters cryptoburners crowded house cyborg power systems ddc defjam / spreadpoint dexion digitech entity entix epsilon escape exec flash productions flash team the fly fraxion freedom force the force fusion future garfield & beate the gate guardians of doom haarek helicon hypnosis ibb imp it magical the mechanic metallians mr. power modesty northstar nova paranoimia phobia quartex quicksilver red sector sae / scoopex setrox shadowlight silver hawks spadge storm supply team supreme syntax 101 tartan army team-x uk top swap trilogy twi vision vision factory visual arts wizzcat x-men uk zarek LADIES AND GENTLEMEN JOKE OF THE MONTH ! --------------------- A MAN IS SEEING HIS DENTIST. WHILE DOING HIS JOB, SUDDENLY THE DENTIST SAYS: 'CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING PERSONAL?' THE MAN SAYS: 'EH.. YEAH SURE. WHAT IS IT?' 'WELL', SAYS THE DENTIST, 'DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE LAST NIGHT?' THE MAN IS A BIT SURPRISED, AND ANSWERS 'YEAH. HOW CAN YOU TELL? DO I HAVE A SHAME-HAIR BETWEEN MY TEETH?'. 'NO' SAYS THE DENTIST. 'YOU'VE GOT SHIT IN YOUR NOSE!' THIS MONTH'S JOKE SENT IN BY: ESPIRIT / ARGON (BELGIUM) THANKS ! BEST AMIGA MUSIC ------------------ 1. DR.AWESOME / CRUSADERS 2. FRED HAHN 3. BIT ARTS 4. WALKMAN / IT 5. FLESHBRAIN PRODUCTIONS 6. STARBUCK / SPREADPOINT 7. TCC / RSI 8. BLAIZER / SILENTS 9. TRISTAR 10. ACCESSION 10. TACS - AVENGER BEST GAMES ------------ 1. STUNT CAR RACER 2. SHADOW OF THE BEAST 3. BEACH VOLLEY 4. GIANNA SISTERS 5. RALLY CROSS CHALLENGE 6. XENON 2 - MEGABLAST 7. BATTLE SQUADRON 8. IT CAME FROM THE DESERT 9. POPULOUS 10. KICK OFF WORST GAMES ------------- 1. PAPERBOY 2. PREDATOR 3. SOL NEGRO 4. JAWS 5. QIX 6. HIGHSCORE 7. EMERALD MINE 8. SCREAMING WINGS 9. POSTMAN PAT 10. APB BEST UTILITIES ---------------- 1. XCOPY 2.0 2. DISKMASTER 3. NOISETRACKER 4. MASTERSEKA 5. DPAINT III 6. VIRUS EXPERT 7. POWERPACKER 8. DISKSALV 9. CODER-BOARD 10. IMPLODER WORST UTILITIES ----------------- 1. DISKDOCTOR 2. IFF SAMPLES CHOPPER 3. ATARI ST EMULATOR 4. DELUXE IFF CONVERTER 5. TRAITORS ST-RIPPER 6. AMADEUS COMPOSER 7. PROFESSIONAL VIRUSKILLER 8. WORKBENCH ED 9. BLITSIZE COMPUTER 10. P-COPY BEST DEMOES -------------- 1. RED SECTOR MEGADEMO 2. PHENOMENA PARTY DEMO 3. TRISTAR - 'BALLS' 4. SCOOPEX - 'SEVEN SINS' 5. SILENTS - 'SNURKELSCROLL 2' 6. UNIQUE - 'UNIVERSAL PICTURES 2' 7. SPREADPOINT - 'WOOOOOW' 8. ESCAPE - VECTOR DEMO 9. NO LIMITS - 'VECTOR BALLS' 10. COMPLEX - 'THE ULTIMATE SINUS' 10. TEAM-X MEGA BEST GRAPHICS --------------- 1. GFX FROM 'SHADOW OF THE BEAST' 2. RASPUTIN / FUSION 3. GFX FROM 'XENON 2 - MEGABLAST' 4. RAINMAKER / QUACKERS' 5. RAT SIGN / RED SECTOR 6. TRISTAR 7. GFX FROM 'SPACE ACE' 8. GFX FROM 'SWORD OF SODAN' 9. PHENOMENA 10. SCOOPEX 10. GRAPHICS FROM 'WAR MACHINE' BEST BBS'S ------------ 1. ACCUMULATORS' 2. VISION FACTORY 3. QUARTEX 4. CHECKPOINT CHARLIE 5. PLEASURE DOME 6. THE CASTLE 7. CRUSADERS 8. MAX BBS 9. AMIC U.S. 10. THE SILENTS BEST GROUPS ------------- 1. QUARTEX 2. PARANOIMIA 3. RED SECTOR 4. VISION FACTORY 5. ACCUMULATORS 6. QUICKSILVER 7. THE BAND 8. PHENOMENA 9. BLACK MONKS 10. PSEUDO OPS 10. AVALANCHE BEST ALBUMS ('REAL' MUSIC) ---------------------------- 1. J.M.JARRE - 'OXYGENE' 2. PRINCE - 'BATMAN' 3. RUSH - 'PRESTO' 4. MARILLION - 'SEASON'S END' 5. HOLLY JOHNSON - 'BLAST' 6. G & R - 'APETITE FOR DESTRUCTION' 7. HOOTERS - 'ZIG ZAG' 8. U2 - 'RATTLE & HUM' 9. AEROSMITH - 'PUMP' 10. DEPECHE MODE - 'PERSONAL JESUS' WORST ALBUMS ('REAL' MUSIC) ----------------------------- 1. PRINCE - 'BATMAN' 2. RICK ASSHOLE - 'WHENEVER YOU...' 3. KYLIE MINOGUE - 'ENJOY YOURSELF' 4. JIVE BUNNY - 'THE ALBUM' 5. MICHAEL BOLTON - 'SOUL PROVIDER' 6. CLIFF RICHARD - 'STRONGER' 7. KITARO - 'LIVE IN JAPAN' 8. THE CURE - 'DISINTEGRATION' 9. JUDAS PRIEST - 'RAM IT DOWN' 10. MADONNA - 'LIKE A PRAYER' BEST SINGLES ('REAL' MUSIC) ----------------------------- 1. PRINCE - 'PARTYMAN' 2. TECHTRONICS - 'PUMP UP THE JAM' 3. AEROSMITH - 'LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR' 4. ALICE COOPER - 'POISON' 5. TONE LOC - 'WILD THING' 6. J.M.JARRE - 'ETHNICOLOR' 7. LIL LOUIS - 'FRENCH KISS' 8. P. COLLINS- 'ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE' 9. B. JOEL - 'WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE' 10. PINK FLOYD - 'LEARNING TO FLY' WORST SINGLES ('REAL' MUSIC) ------------------------------ 1. FRANKLIN - 'BOMBADILLA LIFE' 2. PRINCE - 'BATDANCE' 3. JIVE BUNNY - 'SWING THE MOOD' 4. BROS - 'TOO MUCH' 5. JASON D.- 'WHEN YOU COME BACK TO ME' 6. EDELWEISS - 'BRING ME EDEWEISS' 7. C. RICHARD - 'I JUST DON'T HAVE...' 8. THE CURE - 'LULLABY' 9. BIG FUN - 'BLAME IT ON THE BOOGIE' 10. GLADYS KNIGHT - 'LICENCE TO KILL' BEST MUSIC VIDEOES -------------------- 1. PRINCE - 'PARTYMAN' 2. U2 - 'RATTLE AND HUM' 3. A-HA - 'TAKE ON ME' 4. MICHAEL JACKSON - 'THRILLER' 5. RUSH - 'A SHOW OF HANDS' 6. PETER GABRIEL - 'SLEDGEHAMMER' 7. AEROSMITH - 'LOVE IN AN ELEVATOR' 8. MICHAEL JACKSON - 'SMOOTH CRIMINAL' 9. PRINCE - 'BATDANCE' 10. LAID BACK - 'BAKER MAN' WORST MUSIC VIDEOES --------------------- 1. BROS - 'TOO MUCH' 2. JIVE BUNNY - 'SWING THE MOOD' 3. EDELWEISS - 'BRING ME EDELWEISS' 4. MADONNA - 'LIKE A PRAYER' 5. A-HA - 'TAKE ON ME' 6. THE THE - 'GRAVITY TO ME' 7. JASON DONNOVAN - 'EVERY DAY' 8. ALICE COOPER - 'POISON' 9. SINITTA - 'TOY BOY' 10. PRINCE - 'BATDANCE' BEST MOVIES ------------- 1. THE LAST CRUSADE 2. THE ABYSS 3. LETHAL WEAPON 2 4. THE NAKED GUN 5. BATMAN 6. DIE HARD 7. BACK TO THE FUTURE 2 8. A FISH CALLED WANDA 9. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY 10. GHOSTBUSTERS 2 LAMEST MOVIES --------------- 1. BATMAN 2. JAWS 3 3. EVIL DEAD 4. A HANDFUL OF TIME 5. SUBWAY 6. RAMBO III 7. SEX, LIES AND VIDEOTAPE 8. COCOON 2 9. DIRTY DANCING 10. PEGGY SUE HAS MARRIED